I'm practically completely out. All my friends know and they're ok with it. It's really just my family. I told a cousin that's in my immediately family because he's gay but he thought it was a joke or didn't realize how serious I was. My mother caught me several times growing up wearing my sisters clothes but probably shrugged it off as a phase.
But, not too long ago she noticed several things... I forgot to clear my browser history and she noticed some of my searches accidentally. She asked me if I "wanted to be a girl" condescendingly so I said "no". Then she found a bra, and after that a pair of panties. It's just been one thing after another. She has to know. She's not that stupid.
I'm just not too sure how to talk to her about it... How do I bring a topic like this up... I'm not even sure if I want to because I know she would never take it seriously or ever understand. It seems almost pointless. But, I'm pretty sure I have to in order to transition. A therapist will make me before they'll let me start hormones I bet.
Any time she notices something I come up with something clever to at least keep the discussion from furthering even if she suspects it.
I've been putting myself into situations that'll most likely get me "caught in the act" but I'm not too sure that's such a good idea. At least then I can't weasel my way out of it.
Right now I'm dressed up and she can walk out of her bedroom to get something and she'll most likely notice me and have to say something... but I've yet to have an encounter like that to happen... sadly...
My father will be a complete ->-bleeped-<- about it. If he doesn't freak out he'll at least make fun of me the whole time until I move out and go back to university. I'm more worried about him than anything. If anyone is going to tell him, it has to be my mother. I hate him anyways so I don't really need his acceptance.
Quote from: Astral on November 13, 2009, 10:45:36 PM
I've been putting myself into situations that'll most likely get me "caught in the act" but I'm not too sure that's such a good idea. At least then I can't weasel my way out of it.
Astral,
There is a great temptation to do something to out yourself "accidentally".
Don't do it. Take control of your life. This is your coming-out and you want to control it as best you can.
Pick a time when both you and your mother will be relaxed. Then tell her, straight out: "Mom, I have something to tell you that is very important to me. I am transgendered." You can continue from there, but don't offer a lot of details in the beginnning. Do not say that you want surgery. Give her time to accept that you are TG before talking about transitioning. (When I came out I didn't lie but was evasive. Surgery was too far down the road and I didn't know how it all would work out, so I told people that.)
I think that you will find that you are more relaxed once you can be open to those around you. For me and for most of us, it was like a huge weight was lifted off of us.
Good luck, dear.
- Kate
If you're worried about the dad, then I probably wouldn't say anything to him. Just better to leave it at that for the time being and if you can trust your mom not to bring it up.
As for the mom, I guess if you want to do it face to face just sort of find a time to isolate her and just bring it up in a really humanstic way. Just tell her that this is something that is a very big deal to you, and her support means a lot to you etc etc. Hopefully she will understand your sincerity and also acknowledge the situation, although that can take some time for it to sink in after the initial phase. Just remember everything takes time, so don't expect anything instant, and views can change over times for the better or worse, so mentally perpare yourself too.
Good luck if you choose to do it