I told him I needed a tie in order to make a guitar strap, which was true. Asked if he had any old ones he didn't wear anymore. I was expecting something shabby.
But instead, he presented me with 2 very nice ties, and talked about them like he expected me to wear them. Upon closer inspection, I realize they are new, and in keeping with my style (as he probably perceives it, haha).
Then I remembered that gender identity has come up in conversation several times since I've been staying with him. I remember early on in my visit, blurting out something like, "I really thought I was a boy until you and Mom took away my dinosaurs and made me start acting girly. It was really traumatic, and it left me really confused." I also made a bunch of casual references to my involvement with lgbt activism over the years.
He's a psychologist. He's observant. I'm sure he figured it out pretty quickly.
Thing is, I always thought of myself as too much of an anti-authority type to wear a tie. I'm going to have to own up to the fact that I'll need to wear one in order to get and keep a good job. And learn how to tie one.
My silly rebellious nature aside, I think it's cause for celebration. Kind of an early step in entering into manhood.
Haha, that's pretty cool of him.
I remember my mom letting me guy this outfit that had a tie with it, it was girly, but I loved having a tie.
That is really cool!!
That is a sweet guitar in your avatar too!!
Cool, ties are nice to have. It is a silk the one your father gave you?
That is awesome. If my dad did that, I would probably wear the ties and just have this stupid grin on my face whenever I remembered that he gave them to me. I honestly wouldn't care about being anti-authority in that case (I was more anti-authority when I was expected to wear a dress, anyways). I actually kind of like ties.
So you've really never come out to him directly, he just inferred it himself? Psychologist dad for the win.
Thanks for mentioning the silk thing. Hadn't thought of that.
Yeah, turns out they're both 100% silk!
I was planning on using 1 as a guitar strap (for the one in my avatar), which would require me to make a hole in each end. Should I not do that because it's a nice new silk tie?
I'll post a pic of the one I definitely plan on wearing once I find a good shirt to go with it.
Post Merge: November 20, 2009, 11:15:16 PM
Quote from: Eryk on November 20, 2009, 11:03:37 PM
That is awesome. If my dad did that, I would probably wear the ties and just have this stupid grin on my face whenever I remembered that he gave them to me. I honestly wouldn't care about being anti-authority in that case (I was more anti-authority when I was expected to wear a dress, anyways). I actually kind of like ties.
Yeah, that's how I'm feeling right now.
I grew less anti-authority over the course of my 20's. I still have Crass records (and still enjoy listening to them), and I'll never consider myself a square, but I've caved into the corporate side of my profession because I need a good source of income.
QuoteSo you've really never come out to him directly, he just inferred it himself? Psychologist dad for the win.
Yeah!
Best ties are silk and Italian. I normally pick the ties for my dad, he doesnt have any taste on it and ended always buying crappy polyester one.
And nooooooo, dont make the hole. That type of silk its delicate and it will rip apart quite soon. Better yet wear it but with clothes that are totally opposite from a suit (to keep the anti-authority thing :p)
I would keep the silk ties and wear 'em. No holes.
Drop by a thrift shop if you want to find ties to make into a guitar strap. You're sure to find hordes of cheap polyester ties with lurid prints. The polyester should handle holes a lot better than silk, and you'll probably only spend a couple bucks instead of skewering a silk tie that cost at least 10x as much.
Yeah, that's what I was thinking - find a cheap polyester one at a thrift store.
I think it's interesting that my dad seems to be sending me the message that it's ok for me to be a guy but he wants me to be a respectable man in a traditional sense. I don't mind; in fact, I'm flattered.
When I think of myself as 100% male, I feel more normal and traditional. I've been feeling like a freak, having a woman's body and cross-dressing for so many years.
Quote from: Alexmakenoise on November 21, 2009, 01:18:39 PMI think it's interesting that my dad seems to be sending me the message that it's ok for me to be a guy but he wants me to be a respectable man in a traditional sense. I don't mind; in fact, I'm flattered.
That is pretty honourable. Silk ties aren't cheap either.
Isn't it funny that many guys disliked their parents making them wear suits, ties and formal wear and we can only hope our parents will be that understanding and feel that way about us. That aside I'm still not totally thrills with ties.
BTW- sweet Les Paul. What year?
Yeah, it is honourable, and quite a priviledge for us indeed.
That's a new Epiphone Les Paul Custom Black Beauty. I dream of having a Gibson one from 1969 or so, but this is the closest I can come with my current budget. I'm actually pretty impressed with it, considering that it's a 2009 Epiphone. It's got that great LP sustain and tone. And you just can't beat 3 Humbuckers (imo).
That is pretty cool, indeed.
Come to think of it, I've had an interesting experience kinda (but not really) like that. My great-grandfather on my father's side used to play the mandolin. His mandolin was passed down to my grandfather and then to my father (handed down to sons). This instrument has now been passed on to me (not my brother). I don't know if my father meant anything by it, since I'm not sure that my brother ever showed any interest in restoring/playing the mandolin the way I did, but I like to think that, in some small way, perhaps it was a token of acceptance on my father's part. Even if that has nothing to do with it... I like to think it does. ::)
Awesome! ;D
Jay