Is it possible that my supposed GID could be causing me unconsciously to do bad at other things? Even though I am at a period right now where I am not bothered by no being a girl, my grades in school are slipping and I get depressed rather easily these days, but it is not because I think about being Lauren. Sometimes I get the idea that maybe I want my male self to fail sometimes. I don't screw up on purpose. Sometimes I wonder if I try to hard to make up for the fact that I am trans. I have too many theories. Sometimes I wonder if I think about being Lauren over and over because I am kind of neurotic and obssessibe about things. Anyway Happy Thanksgiving Susan Forum.
I wish I could blame every mistake I've made on GID, but even "normal" people can't do that. Try & pick your battles instead of them picking you. Well that sounded good until I put into words, Take control of your life by any means, ts/tg is the wild west, sounds romantic, but mostly it's a load of work just to live.
I'd say that it is hard to do anything at your best without being content with who you are both on the inside and the outside. Before I realized myself completly, I did not think I had anything to live for and so did little to apply myself. Not caring for who and what you are can definitely lead a person to be self-detramental.
You know, sometimes I wonder about that. If you have a battle inside over what gender you are, if it tears you up in varying degrees, if there is a female mind/soul in a male body, or a male mind/soul in a female body, how can it not affect how you perform in life. My female mind walks by a mirror and sees a male body every time. It can see a female soul behind the body, but how can there not be an at least low-grade war inside: "Out you damn girl. No, off me you damn boy!"
Does that call for some therapy? I'm not sure. I have fought it for many years. I have never held much stock in psychiatry, and view it as an obstacle to get around when I finally do go, only because it's required for the purpose of achieving what I fully believe is the correct course. The secret is not to let them know that. The best way to get a professional anything to work against you is to doubt the benefit and value of his profession. If you accept the value of therapy, I am sure it would be a benefit to you. If like me, you not only have a problem but a problem with therapy, maybe less so. And probably, I would most benefit from it.
But, in the end Lauren, you should always do as well as you can in whatever you are doing, whether as Lauren, or temporarily as _____. Because progress will benefit Lauren. Look in the mirror at the soul of Lauren behind whom ever, and promise to do best for her.
SusanKG
Although intelligent (i.e., scored well on tests), I never did well in school. I was always awkward socially. It took me a long time to grow up. Was that because of my gender discordance? Perhaps, but I don't know.
I think if you aren't comfortable in your own skin - aren't comfortable with who you are - it will be more difficult for you to accomplish things. It's like there's a background battle you are waging, sapping your energy. Sometimes it is so far in the background it isn't evident, but it is still there.
- Kate
I too went through somethings that were the results of my GID, and they were not good things. But I am getting better, more open with people. Which is a good result.
It gets better, trust me. And it will for you.
Janet