...or with other people? Do you like it?
I seriously withdrew socially over the last couple years, and it's had very very negative effects on me. I live alone but I'm thinking about getting an apartment and a roomie or two because meh, I miss being around people. When I was in a long term relationship that I thought was going to be forever, while I loved him I have to admit I used to wonder what it would be like to be all by myself. Well now I know and it sucks.
Do you prefer the company of others or would you just as soon be left alone?
I have best of both worlds. I live in a rooming house. My room is mine and mine alone. I answer to no one but if I want I can join the guys in the living room and watch all the football I want to as well as movies westerns and girl watching (of course).
Quote from: Becca on December 07, 2009, 11:25:07 PM
...or with other people? Do you like it?
I live w/my gf & our cats.
QuoteDo you prefer the company of others or would you just as soon be left alone?
I dont like bein alone. I'm a people person. I gotta be w/ people.
interesting topic i live with my soon to be ex wife lol and id rather be alone ive been married since i was 17 and ive never really been alone im actually kind of looking forward to it at least for a while
jessica
Well socially, now that I'm allowed to be myself, I've found I get out of the house a lot and hang out with friends. Before that, I was always at home on the computer doing my own thing by myself. Reclusive.
As for living alone, I'm now doing that since my wife moved out and it's ok but I'm still not home very much hah
I have been married twice and single for the past 10 years. I live with a giant Hound so I am NEVER alone.
I might consider keeping a man for a pet again one day ..... :o ;D
Heather and I live together. I was alone for a year and hated it. I could do it, but I think I would at least have a dog.
I was married for 20 years. And it was a shock to be alone.
Hugs and Love
Janet
Live with my SO, kids and cats. I have lived alone before and do fine with it. I just had to go out and socialize more.
Andrew
I've lived alone for the past 2 1/2 years. It was an adjustment at first, but now I like it. I have lots of friends who I see regularly. I go out every day, sometimes just to sit in the coffee shop and write in my journal. I like being out where there are other people even if I'm alone.
- Kate
I live by myself and some days it's fine and other days I hate it. I don't go out because there is nothing to do around here and I'm always broke.
Yup, it's just me and my pets in my apt.
Sometimes I like the solitude. Other times I'm very lonely :-\
No.
Since late 1984 (about 6 months after my SRS) I have never been alone.
I live alone with my 2 cats, who are excellent company, by the way: very low maintenance ---those cats.
I vacillate between being content being alone, and wondering if I could make it with a partner again. There is alot to be said to only have to answer for one person (me), and have my days and nights free to do what I wish.
But sometimes the house seems very large and empty, and my bed feels barren of life and love.
But I have learned the lessons of not rushing out to find someone to fill the space, and to wait on someone the universe shall bring in its perfect timing.
I've lived alone for about the last 3 years, since getting a divorce.
.
I understand where you're coming from. I really withdrew a lot these last few years, and haven't gotten out of the house much. Being alone really dulls your social skills (moreso if you're particularly quiet anyway), especially if the only time you ever talk to others is at work.
.
On the the one hand, I don't like it. It is very lonely.
.
On the other hand, for me it's about survival. It's really the first time in my life that I have lived completely alone. Marriage almost completely destroyed me, more than I thought anything could. I'm not even close to considering the possibility of a relationship again, and being trans really narrows the prospective field of roomates.
.
Sometimes being alone isn't what you want to do...it's just what is necessary for now...to heal...to grow...to begin again.
I live with 3 girl roommates in a 2 bedroom house.
Can get a little congested at times but only way to do it where I live since everything is so expensive.
I love my roommates for the most part too. We're all pretty close and we do a lot of things together. I enjoy the roommates because they help keep me socially active and not lonely hehe
The stresses and strains of a very busy everyday life mean that I cherish my solitude when I get it, as it's such a total relief! However, it's also nice to cuddle up on the sofa together too. So I think it's not so much being alone that I enjoy, it's just getting out of the chaos, the crowds and the noise.
I've lived with roommates or housemates a few times, including all but two of the seven years after high school, but I've lived alone since then and I love it. I cannot err. There is no creature whom I belong to, whom I could wrong. I shall never be Different. Love me.
I grew up in a noisy family, and I value solitude and silence.
room mate, 3 cats
I prefer no human company most of the time :P
I have lived alone for the past 13 years or so. I was a bit of a shut-in for most of that time. I'm now a lot more sociable (too sociable, in fact!) lately. I have liked living alone but at the same time I have felt pretty lonely for a long time. Who knows, maybe that will change one day.
I think I achieved the perfect balance, My So and I live with each other for 7 months out of the year. I dig being alone and living on my own schedule but I also enjoy our time together. My alone time gives me a chance to get involved in a project and get it done without disturbance.
no. hubby, my great dane & my guinea pig live with me.
When I first got my own place, I had a male friend I'd recently met move into my extra bedroom. He seemed like a good chap until he let his life get seriously derailed by a girl and stopped paying me rent for a year. About nine months after that, I took another person in to help him out in a messy situation. I eventually booted him when his stresses started stressing me out. . .that, and he's just an outright unpleasant person.
I've lived entirely, 100% alone for the last two or three years or so. For the most part, it's been good for me, as I require a lot of time to myself to maintain my well-being. However, that person I'd kicked out before was the host of a mostly weekly social gathering I attended, playing video games, card games, etc. Since the incident, I stopped going altogether. In addition it to this, two of my friends moved out of town around that time, and one other (my brother-in-law) is either busy attending the old gatherings or being a stay-at-home dad.
So I'm not just physically alone, but extremely socially isolated, and as the years went on, I became more and more adverse to people in general. In this town (in which I've spent nearly my entire life), I feel like I have no real peer. I'm either misunderstood or outright not understood, so I have little motivation to go out and meet people. I've never been one to actually "make friends," either. All of the above ones I mentioned just drifted into my life via school, work, or family.
Overall, I'd say living alone and even being socially adverse has had been good for me, as not only have I had much time and space for introspection and self-discovery, but influences and situations which could cause difficulties in my life can't reach me. The person I am is all me, from me, and I wouldn't trade that for anything. But the loneliness does get bad from time to time, and my growing social anxieties do worry me. (My therapist and I will focus on the latter next session, actually.)
How could anyone ever live alone? There are too many people on this planet to find any solitude.
Well I've lived alone for the last 3+ years, since coming out to my former Love. I do have a cat, and friends. But In truth I have not healed from my last partner leaving. Oh I'm better, alot better, But to say it was hard would be very much an understatement. Some days it still is.
Beni
Quote from: lisagurl on December 13, 2009, 09:06:33 PM
How could anyone ever live alone? There are too many people on this planet to find any solitude.
You could live under the sea. ^_^
I'm at university, and have a single room, all to myself. It's kind of nice, actually. I don't mind being by myself, most of the time.
after living with someone a majority of my life living alone would definately be a blessing at least for a while
My wife is in a nursing home, so she can only come home for a few hours a week. I lived alone as a teenager, couldn't relate to anyone because I was a girl and at that time the world didn't seem to understand it.
Nowadays I'm quite happy living alone. I do go out to clubs etc and have a small group of friends and relatives who accept me for being me.
But most of the time I'd rather be alone.
I also spent a year travelling around Australia in a 4WD and caravan, now that was being alone. Loved it. Almost forgot how to talk
Cindy
I live with 3 other roommates, all girls who are the same age as me, in a 2 bedroom apartment so I share my bedroom w/ someone. I don't like it at all because I live with really irresponsible people. No one cares about paying things on time, cleaning, we've had cops come to our apartment a few times cos we were being loud and the next time it happens we're getting arrested and possibly kicked out of school... it's just real stressful living in a place like that cos I'm someone who's really responsible and dedicated to school. I mean I do drugs occasionally but not 24/7, and my roommates think life is just one huge party which is why I can't wait til my lease is up. I'd love to live alone but because of the cost of places in Boston I'll have to settle for one roommate probably
sorry about the long rant btw, I'm fighting w/ them about it now haha
I live with 2 college roommates.
I live alone with some fish in the pond.
But I did not isolate myself, instead I found that during and after transition my need to socialize was much higher than before.
I currently have one male partner (boyfriend if you prefer) and we have lived together 8 years now...
We currently live in a one bedroom, but plan to move this summer to a new place with our own bedrooms.
My BF snores very loud and twitches, unceasingly. So that is my excuse for my own room. Though I'm also motivated and excited to have my own room with as much or as little privacy as I want. I think this is the best living arrangement for me. I do not feel that I would ever want to have a place all to myself. That's just a little too quiet and a little too much solitude for me.
There would be no point really... I would just end up inviting all my friends to spend the night all the time. :laugh:
My fiance & I live together.
I live with Parents...
Jay
I live with family members.
Nope I live with my BF.
Quote from: Becca on December 07, 2009, 11:25:07 PM
...or with other people? Do you like it?
I seriously withdrew socially over the last couple years, and it's had very very negative effects on me. I live alone but I'm thinking about getting an apartment and a roomie or two because meh, I miss being around people. When I was in a long term relationship that I thought was going to be forever, while I loved him I have to admit I used to wonder what it would be like to be all by myself. Well now I know and it sucks.
Do you prefer the company of others or would you just as soon be left alone?
I've never lived alone and I'm sure I wouldn't like it very much.
I live with a friend & 2 dogs.
I wish I lived alone, and I didn't have to deal with roommates! Especially with the trouble I've had in the last two years, and also most recently with being kicked out while in the hospital.
I would love to have a place that I can call my own, and have it my actual sanctuary.
Sadly, where I live renting is very expensive. Calgary just slipped a few dollars under Vancouver for the most expensive place to rent in Canada (We were slightly ahead of Vancouver a bit by a few dollars, becoming the most expensive place to rent, and actually even live 'cause everything costs more out here).
I think the only reason that I still live in this city is friends. Other than that, it's expensive and not worth the money to live here. I don't get why anyone would want to live in this city... most people move here because there's jobs, but end up being more broke in the end 'cause that's how it is in a town like this. It's big, but it's also lame because there's no cool clubs that I like. We only have one Gay club, which is lame, even Edmonton has several gay clubs and it's smaller than Calgary. I've grown to get very annoyed with this city. It's a very apathetic city, that is very conservative
When Bush (after his presidency) came to Canada to visit, he picked Calgary because Calgary is the safest place for him in Canada 'cause the majority here are apathetic, and very conservative and religious. Annoys me.
Blah, anyway, sorry abt the rant. LOL
I have a lot of friends, which are awesome, so I usually don't have much time to myself or to be alone. So, I think it would be cool to have my own place. I just cannot afford it in this city... but it would be cool. That way, I can go out like normal, hang out with friends, and then go home and relax and have a bit of me time and sanctuary away from everything for a little bit. LOL
And believe it or not, I actually have a social calendar. LOL I don't work at the moment, but sometimes (actually, a lot of the times) I feel overwhelmed by ppl asking me to hang out with them, etc. I make friends pretty easily and I end up getting popular -- not 'cause I want to or that I'm seeking that, but it just happens that way. There's a down side to it, although, 'cause I end up with the wrong people easily and people that hurt me. I have a few close friends, and those are the ones I keep close and do things with the most. They are the ones that really care, and the ones that showed up to visit me in the hospital... But, yeah, some nights I'm getting 4 or 5 ppl wanting me to come hang out with them, or go to some concert or club with them, or some party, etc. It gets frustrating. Sometimes I want alone time, and I don't wanna feel bad about having that. I always feel bad when I have to tell people no about going out with them to something. But, it's also overwhelming. A place alone without having to deal with people, and having some me time and alone time -- a place that's mine -- would be awesome.
I live by myself by choice. Self-imposed isolation because I am absolutely focused on finishing my surgeries and having a social life or relationship will only distract me. I'm still young, so the way I see it, taking this time off to get this stuff done is a lot better than trying to juggle a "life" and thus making transition last longer.
Actually, I guess my long-story-short is the fact that I tried that... for five years... and in the end I was as miserable as I was when I started and had barely moved forward with my transition. Now that I'm really focused on it, things are moving much more quickly and I'm happier as each day goes by.
Lonely... but happier than I was when I had friends and a lover and felt incomplete.
Only one more year to go and then I'll be queen of the town. :-*
I live with my mom and my father's son.
It's not that I hate living there so much because compared to other 20 year olds I'm still pretty sheltered and pampered there but it's more of the fact that I can't transition because I'm living with her. Ideally I would like to live with a girlfriend and 2 cats because I do want company.
I've lived alone most of my life and really prefer it. Been married and had a live in partner but I never really cared for sharing a house. I have a serious relationship right now and have been dating same guy for 4+ years but we both agreed not to live together. We are fine having our own space. I know some people get lonely but I just have never felt lonely that I can recall my whole life. I have had doggies live with me most of my life, they don't complain :)
I live with my 12 year old. I've never lived alone except when I was a teenager and just kinda wandering. I'm frantically looking for roommates at the moment. We're on the edge of homelessness, and paying for an entire apartment for one family is untenable. Lol the last people I met who were willing to rent a room to a guy with bad credit and a preteen girl were really sketched-out looking tweakers. So I'm not sure how well that's going to work out. :P
I like to be alone. Sometimes I'm mean because I never get to be by myself.
I'm recently separated, so now, yes, I do live alone... not liking it much. I like having someone with me.. like the company. I got used to being with someone for the past 14 years, it's hard to suddenly be by yourself. (well, for me anyways.)
@Renee D, sorry to hear about your Dad. Hugs. I'm a loner, but never alone since I always have dogs. Right now it's me and a yellow lab in a ten room house. Plenty of space to stretch out. Hugs, Devlyn
I haven't lived alone in so long... I miss it, haha. I lived in a closet (literally) for a few years while I worked my way through college. It was me and 5 other guys, and I stayed in a closet with a bunch of cinder blocks, haha! Then I moved out with my bf, a new bf moved in when that one moved out, and then I had a few roommates over the years... Now I live with my son and husband... and his mother.... Which equals absolute agony, but she's moving out in June (thank the gods...) I can't wait for it to be just the husband and I. I miss living room couch sex, haha!! (after the kid's bed time, of course ;))
I live alone and I love it. From January 1st to earlier this month, I lived with my ex fiancé (then fiancé). However much it was nice to have someone to help with bills and someone to hang out with, I couldn't handle it (for various reasons) and now that I'm single and live alone, I'm so happy.
If I ever enter into a permanent relationship, there's going to need to be lots and lots of room otherwise I'm going to go crazy. I just need lots of personal space.
I lived alone since 1983. GID and shyness are the main culprits. I didn't date because the women at the time didn't want to associate with anyone that's considered less than a man and I didn't want to put a perfectly good woman through that. There were a lot of frustrations living alone for so long. All of those nights I woke up with with my inner voice asking me "Why aren't you married?" and "Where are your children?". One of the reasons why I harp on you younger ones not to go the same path I went down.
Joelene
My Dad died of lung cancer in 1997. I'm sitting here drinking coffee and looking out the same window he always looked out. He smoked so much this house smelled like cigarettes for years after he passed. I miss him too, here's to our Dads! Hugs, Devlyn
Quote from: Devlyn on March 20, 2012, 06:01:26 AM
My Dad died of lung cancer in 1997. I'm sitting here drinking coffee and looking out the same window he always looked out. He smoked so much this house smelled like cigarettes for years after he passed. I miss him too, here's to our Dads! Hugs, Devlyn
-hugs for Devlyn and Jamie and whoever else I left out
From the time my Mother died till I got married I did live alone, its great independence and does give you your own space, I got married in August 2010, I now live with my Husband. Im now used to my new situation, as a woman and a housewife it does have its advantages having a man about the place to do heavy house chores, for support and security, the downside, having to clean up after a man, lol.
p
No! I don't live alone! Where did you hear that?! I live with my ten brothers who all just got back from Iraq! And my 20 Rottweillers! And none of them ever leave my place, ever!
But seriously, I've been alone ever since I could afford it. I simply can't stand being that close to people and trust me, you can't stand being that close to me: I like to get up before six in the morning; I can't sleep unless the house is completely silent and dark; I don't watch TV and I simply can't relax with one blaring at me; and I simply cannot stand other people's filth!
Oh, and for most of my life, I was a closet "'man' who liked to wear women's clothing" living in a place with more cows than people...
When romance is involved, though, I do a complete 180. Things that disgusted me before suddenly become things I find "just so darn cuuuuuuuute about you"... So maybe it won't be forever.
Quote from: Virginia87106 on December 08, 2009, 03:14:30 PM
I live alone with my 2 cats, who are excellent company, by the way: very low maintenance ---those cats.
I vacillate between being content being alone, and wondering if I could make it with a partner again. There is alot to be said to only have to answer for one person (me), and have my days and nights free to do what I wish.
But sometimes the house seems very large and empty, and my bed feels barren of life and love.
But I have learned the lessons of not rushing out to find someone to fill the space, and to wait on someone the universe shall bring in its perfect timing.
Lol, my situation is almost entirely the same. At times my cats are even too much company. (Indeed, as I write my older male cat Sammy, who is almost human at times, is tapping me on the arm wanting something. He does this at least a half a dozen times day.) Don't get me wrong, lol, they're great; but it does often become lonely and empty. It's been a long time since I've been comfortable with people. It's probably high time to change that; but the situation would have to be just right.
Currently living by myself, and have done for the last five years or so. I am alone, but not lonely, and am happy that way for now. I have Uni, my friends and my other interests, so am content for the moment.
I live with my wife in an apartment, just the two of us. I could never again live with any others. I used to live in student homes when at uni and hated it.
I'm back with my parents. We get along well, but it will be nice to have my own space again. I also miss being able to hang out in my boxers. :-X
It was a discussion point with my therapist that was I 'hiding' by living alone. I didn't and don't think so. Thoughts?
Quote from: Cindy James on March 31, 2012, 01:59:31 AM
It was a discussion point with my therapist that was I 'hiding' by living alone. I didn't and don't think so. Thoughts?
My thought--and I can only speak for myself--is I am hiding by living alone, to a lesser or greater extent; and also not socializing. Yet I feel this is justified to some degree at this point in time: pretty much the mid point (which I feel for me is an awkward point) in my transition. Although I do believe (hope?) that I shall be ready to step out someday, which I don't think is too far off now, and really have something special to give/share when I do. Thank you Cindy for getting me to articulate this. :)
Quote from: Cindy James on March 31, 2012, 01:59:31 AM
It was a discussion point with my therapist that was I 'hiding' by living alone. I didn't and don't think so. Thoughts?
Perhaps it can be seen as
escaping
Yes, I do live alone, - these day.
Not quite to my choosing. Yet when I have to live with others 24/7 it makes me remember how that all can become quite stressful.
People have habits... include me, they do not always converge - can become a real pain in the neck. I don't even want to start mentioning some of those unmentionables...
It's good to recall that when one feels lonesome...
Axélle
I've never lived alone. I lived with my parents for the first 24 years. I moved out a month ago and now have an apartment with my girlfriend.
Quote from: Cindy James on March 31, 2012, 01:59:31 AM
It was a discussion point with my therapist that was I 'hiding' by living alone. I didn't and don't think so. Thoughts?
I don't think so, unless there are other things to indicate it. Living alone on its own wouldn't do it.
I live alone (well with my two cats), because I live in a very small trailer. I only have a part time job so I can not afford to go out.
I think I'm a bit weird, I live alone in a three bedroom house and I sleep on the couch.
I'm a college student, and I live with a roommate in a 2 bedroom apartment. I'm with people most of the time, but I like the privacy of being able to go to my room with no one bothering me. I have to be by myself a lot... and on weekends, I enjoy every minute of having the apartment to myself. I have always needed my own space and privacy, and right now... I have made the mistake of living with a LONELY GIRL who has basically no friends. She means well, and I really like having her as a friend. She's very supportive, and I enjoy her company.. but she hits on me every chance she gets, despite me having a girlfriend, and is talking crazy about moving with me to NY next year.
Right now, I would much rather live by myself.
Quote from: Cindy James on March 31, 2012, 01:59:31 AM
It was a discussion point with my therapist that was I 'hiding' by living alone. I didn't and don't think so. Thoughts?
Who does your therapist expect you to live with?
Cindy, given your circumstances I think it is entirely understandable.
No, but sometimes I think it might be nice to please yourself. I have an irritating partner and we have several dogs which I find comforting!
I live with my brother and mother. I wish I had my own apartment.
Quote from: Hannah on December 07, 2009, 11:25:07 PM
Do you prefer the company of others or would you just as soon be left alone?
I live with 2 other women in our house, it's an all female household here. I prefer it that way, I like being "just one of the girls", and we share things. I enjoy the company, and like being around other people most always. We have pet birds here, they are chatty too, if the girls are out somewhere, the birds and our kitty keep me company. Sometimes a little solitude out on the trail hiking is a good thing....
Good topic
C-
I don't live alone. I have lived alone before and I went a little crazy with complete isolation.
But, I also don't like company all the time. I need a lot of space from other people.
I suppose I have a good balance here. I have my own space and time, but there is someone to interact with if I want to. There are very few "requirements" we place on each other. I'm a night owl for work and have the place to myself during the day. Sharing space with someone who knows your ways and will leave you to it, is a blessing when you have lived with many irritating/invasive/inconsiderate people like I have before.