Ok folks a semi-serious bit of psychological research here.
Are you an Alpha male or female and how has your transition and/or SRS affected this.
I absolutely never was before I transitioned, during transition I didn't really notice any change, but postop, and to my immense surprise and astonishment, I eventually became an Alpha Female both at work and socially, (which greatly amuses my partner).
In social gatherings or workgroups I am often (but not always) the one around whom a female group seems to congregate. I suspect this has to do with the self belief, positive thinking, and perhaps body language that I project, but I don't know for sure.
So I'm really intrigued to hear your experiences.
I am not an Alpha. I am not even a Beta. I am very submissive, so I seem to get walk all over, but I am learning to be more aggressive to protect me.
Hugs and Love
Janet
I'm not really an alpha, although I can take that role if no one else will. I've always been the adjunct somehow. It's not something I've tried to do, it just happens. The organization chart looks like this:
Alpha
|
+-----> me
|
Everybody else
I don't know how that has worked, but it generally ends up this way for some reason.
- Kate
Well I'm VERY Alpha unless you talk about in the bedroom. Sexually I become very submissive which is most likely due to my abuse as a toddler and being raped by my Ex BF. Problem with that is my 2 guys are both submissive >.<
I'm a beta
I think. I want to be important, number 1. But I don't want to lead.
I guess those terms don't really apply to me. I am a sharer, I believe in and practice equality in most of my relationships, but I do tend to be on the passive/submissive side, exclusively so if you're talking sexually. At work I'm self employed and work closely with two other female partners. It's give and take. Like Kate said I can assume that role if no one else will and if it is required, but generally I don't subscribe to that whole concept of hierarchical situations to begin with.
Quote from: FairyGirl on December 08, 2009, 02:38:14 PM
generally I don't subscribe to that whole concept of hierarchical situations to begin with.
Good answer...
In fact all good answers. Thank you all.
What I'm really interested in is how transition affects people's perceptions and social interaction with others. Would be great to hear from a few more boys too.
The beta always has more control.
Quote from: Kurzar on December 08, 2009, 01:56:01 PM
Well I'm VERY Alpha unless you talk about in the bedroom. Sexually I become very submissive which is most likely due to my abuse as a toddler and being raped by my Ex BF. Problem with that is my 2 guys are both submissive >.<
\
I'm a guy and did reply =P
Quote from: Kurzar on December 08, 2009, 03:08:30 PM
\
I'm a guy and did reply =P
yes indeed hence the phrase "Would be great to hear from a few
more boys too. " rather than simply just "a few boys too." ;)
I'm not an Alpha, but I;ve always fancied myself as the one who tells the Alpha what to do.
Quote from: rejennyrated on December 08, 2009, 03:28:21 PM
yes indeed hence the phrase "Would be great to hear from a few more boys too. " rather than simply just "a few boys too." ;)
Sorry that was my bad, I missed the 'more' part.
Well, I missed the transition part.
*** Kurzar and Kate go sit in the corner to do penance until they join forces and become disruptive >:-) ***
Before transition I would take charge in relationships because that was expected of me. Now that it is no longer expected of me I am comfortable being the power behind the throne – my natural stance.
I am also now strong enough in my own sense of self that I am willing to be taken because I know I am strong enough not to lose who I am in the process.
- Kate
Quote from: Lachlann on December 08, 2009, 02:54:14 PM
The beta always has more control.
Excellent point. As long as the submissive can always choose to no longer sumbit, they truly are in charge. I used to always let my boyfriend feel like he was the boss, because he had that sort of personality. After a few years something shifted, and he started bordering on being abusively dominant...and I felt my control of my own life slipping away as I realized that I really had no choice between being submissive to his wishes or losing him.
I'm sorry, I know that's not exactly what you were after but I really liked Lachlann's observation and wanted to comment. I just got done spending a term heavily focused on social inclusion/exclusion and addictive behaviors and so on, so my brain is still geared that way. I swear to god this psychology degree is really sapping my faith in humanity.
Quote from: Lachlann on December 08, 2009, 02:54:14 PM
The beta always has more control.
Actually that is an extremely valid point. I could go into it more but that would be better suited to the sexuality forum >:-)
Before transition, I was never part of a social group in the first place.
Now, I actually have been part of a social group. I wasn't the ringleader, but my technical skillset seemed to be the most respected. I prefer to occupy that position than group "leader". It's less work - I get the respect without having to lead :laugh:
I just don't care enough about what's going on to lead a group of people. If I care about something, then I'm usually doing my own thing about it. People can follow me, or not - I don't mind either way.
I suppose that makes me a "loose cannon" of sorts.
Alpha?
HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECK no!
At least, not as a male. Hopefully I won't be as a female.
Quote from: Kurzar on December 08, 2009, 07:19:53 PM
Actually that is an extremely valid point. I could go into it more but that would be better suited to the sexuality forum >:-)
Well, you could always look at the social structure of wolves without delving into something sexual.
Before transition, certainly NOT - way too shy and timid. After transition, it depends on the circumstances.
For a woman in business, particularly engineering and construction, you HAVE to learn to be an Alpha (and sometimes REALLY convince others) or you get run over. My behind-my-back nickname 'The Dragon Lady' is not by accident ::)
Socially, I can be a bit forward if I am after someone's attention but usually I am more coy and retiring.
This seems to be more of a dominance question. rule of thumb, out of ANY group, 10% are dominant. There are degrees of dominance hence the beta thing. If you take 100 people and remove the 10% that are dominant, you have 90 people of which 10% are dominant. Repeat the last action and the rule will still hold.
Interesting replies. Thank you.
My theory was that perhaps one's position in a social group was more determined by self confidence than by gender role per se.
If so, I wondered if after transition an individual who felt more self confident might therefore possibly find that translated into a different default position within a given group.
Though I'm fairly confident that self-confidence is required to 'move up to' Alpha, not everyone with it gets to move up, in that the social group has the decision more than the individual. While I'm sure that after transition many people will become more self confident, I'm not sure all do. Moreover, if 'transition' is a reason for that, so can lots of other things in life. And things change over time, sometimes so slowly you don't really notice till it gets kinda big.
And, I really, really wonder if the decision to transition or not is not an Alpha decision. So that among the people who do transition you have a higher population of Alphas then in the general population at large?
Quote from: tekla on December 09, 2009, 01:06:58 PM
And, I really, really wonder if the decision to transition or not is not an Alpha decision. So that among the people who do transition you have a higher population of Alphas then in the general population at large?
Now that really is an interesting theory Tekla! I wonder how we could test it out?
Female me was very submissive. A follower with no opinions. Anything for an easy life, no arguments :P
I'm the complete opposite now, I always want control if possible. My way or the highway :P
My friends call me the Omega Male. ;)
Not alpha, either an outsider or maybe about 55% dominance.
Usually just an outsider though, although being somewhat detached does give you some respect as well. They assume you're too important to associate with them, at least the lower ranks.
That's among males and mixed groups. In female groups I tend to see myself as alpha, even if they don't :P
I used to be way more submissive. So I guess it did, seeing myself as male I feel more comfortable with myself and more secure.
Well this proves I really am from a different planet.
What IS an 'alpha'? I've often heard the expression, but I still don't know what it means ???
Alexie
Quote from: Alexie on December 10, 2009, 01:07:06 AM
Well this proves I really am from a different planet.
What IS an 'alpha'? I've often heard the expression, but I still don't know what it means ???
Alexie
Leader/Dominant of a group.
In female groups I tend to see myself as alpha, even if they don't
If the group does not recognize you as the Alpha, you are not the Alpha. Its a group leadership deal.