when I get my ball removed I know I will loose my sex drive soon after. Will female hormons bring it back?
Hello Frar.
welcome to our online community.
The answer to your question is that everyone is different. No one can predict what will happen to anyone else. I never lost mine. But then I transitioned in very early life... Some people postop are asexual, some are not. We are all different.
I 'transitioned' at 24, in 1974, at same time I had SRS, and I was pretty wild. I wish I had NOT had such a strong libido. By my mid-30's, 10 years into my marriage, that really tapered off to the point where I just wasn't interested. In my 50's, it came back with a vengeance. It is so bad I asked my endo if there was something in my test results to explain my over-active libido and I thought she was going to fall of her chair laughing ... apparently that is not the usual complaint from a 60 year old woman! At least I have a boyfriend again .... he is going to think he died and went to heaven! >:-)
Welcome to Susan's, Frar. :icon_flower:
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As to your question, as the others have said: it depends. I am pre-op, which means that I still have all the boy bits I was born with. When I started blocking the testosterone and adding estrogen, I was asexual for a while. Now my sex drive seems to keep getting stronger. I hope it levels off at some point. :P But it really depends on you and your situation. We all react to the hormones a bit differently.
- Kate
I had an orchi about a year ago after being on HRT for eight years. My sex drive has changed and now is more thought driven instead of hormone driven. I don't have a sex partner so I really don't know what would happen if I did. I have resigned myself to never knowing what it will feel like. Kinda like being a 58 year old virgin.
I understand that this is common amongst transitioners, many never have sex and 60% of those who have SRS never use their new equipment. So if someone says this is all about sex, they are surely mistaken. For me, the only way to enjoy sex with another person is to write about it in my books.
Maggie
I have a sex drive and I've had SRS, um, just over 18 months ago. It sometimes comes and goes, 'cause of the other meds I'm on. Although, since they took out one med and added me to another (anti depressants). My sex drive is really up again. LOL
I didn't know that 60% of those who had SRS don't have sex. Interesting. I know a few people who've had SRS and haven't had sexual relationships at all.
I've had sex with a few people since SRS.
Quote from: gothique11
I didn't know that 60% of those who had SRS don't have sex. Interesting. I know a few people who've had SRS and haven't had sexual relationships at all.
I've had sex with a few people since SRS.
Ditto - although for the past 20 years
mainly (shh ;)) with just the one person...
Not having sex afterwards would seem really strange to me. But each to their own. If they are happy without it who am I to judge.
I wonder if there are any studies done where I can read that 60% of those who had GRS don't have sex. That notion seems too extreme to me too.
I can understand that pre-op some people may choose celibacy due to hatred towards their body & what not. But once post-op, most of those inhibitions disappear anyway & we become comfortable in our own skin. Human beings are very sexual creatures in general & the notion that women don't possess any sexual desires is dumb.
there are lots of official and unoffical polls out there that says that this or that %age of post-ops aren't sexual. But then there are just as many that say the smae as natural women so what is the truth? Who knows? who cares?
As is often repeated: if the big bang orgasm is the central focus of your life you'd be crazy to risk losing it by starting hormones or going for surgery.
And after a lifetime of reading women's magazines' problems pages I couldn't possible total the number of women who have said that they aren't bothered aout the big orgasms anyway.
And it's ony a few weeks ago I read in one of a woman married to a guy (big baby) who got miserable if she didn't let him have sex every day so most days she just lay back and blanked off while he did his thing. (Why didn't she tell him to go **** by himself?)
I saw a video on Youtube of an interview with Marci Bowers where she discussed the 60% issue, presumably from her knowledge of her patients. She didn't specify why.
My take on it is that it is not because they aren't interested in sex, it is the lack of anyone interested in having sex with them. I can certainly relate to that.
Maggie
In discussing libido with my endocrinologist a year or so back (and complaining about my over-active 'desires') she said it probably has a lot more to do with how you feel about yourself and your general health than it has to do with hormones or anything physical. I think she is right.
Considering the self-image and body-image most TS have, it would make sense.
Quote from: Maggie Kay on December 23, 2009, 09:40:26 AM
it is the lack of anyone interested in having sex with them.
Blimey! That would be a first. Where is this place? It sounds like a nice location to go for a holiday! No more getting approached if I walk into a bar alone... No more men getting all excited when Ali and I hold hands and wanting to make it three... Paradise. :)
I've seriously never found a shortage of people wanting to have sex with me. It's whether I also fancy THEM... I have high standards.
Quote from: rejennyrated on December 23, 2009, 10:51:59 AM
Blimey! That would be a first. Where is this place? It sounds like a nice location to go for a holiday! No more getting approached if I walk into a bar alone... No more men getting all excited when Ali and I hold hands and wanting to make it three... Paradise. :)
I've seriously never found a shortage of people wanting to have sex with me. It's whether I also fancy THEM... I have high standards.
In our local TS support group, a common discussion is the lack of intimacy and inability to find a partner or to have sex at all. They say that once it is known that you are trans, the guy heads for the hills. After a while, some just give up. What I was told is that most transwomen end up living together to share expenses because they will not find a mate. This is especially true for late transitioners. I understand that it is even also a fact for lesbian oriented transwomen because many lesbians are hostile to us.
Maggie
Quote from: Maggie Kay on December 23, 2009, 11:03:18 AM
In our local TS support group, a common discussion is the lack of intimacy and inability to find a partner or to have sex at all. They say that once it is known that you are trans, the guy heads for the hills. After a while, some just give up. What I was told is that most transwomen end up living together to share expenses because they will not find a mate. This is especially true for late transitioners. I understand that it is even also a fact for lesbian oriented transwomen because many lesbians are hostile to us.
Maggie
Ah well... I must just keep running into very open minded men and women then :) in 25 years I've never yet had a cisman or indeed a lesbian back out on me. In fact quite the reverse. Most seem to think postop trans = easy lay. Which I'm not!
Mind you back in 1988 I was the one who had the sheer cheek to deliberately
choose a transwoman in preference to three other cisgenderd partners, all of whom also wanted a longterm relationship with me. 22 years on we still have a wonderful physical relationship which I wouldn't swap for anyone!
Mind you I do understand that it must be frustrating for someone who just has the bad luck to be in a place where attitudes are less open. Maybe some should come to the UK.
Some of it may be age, some of it social conditioning, some of it body image. I was talking about this to a GG friend. She said some years ago she was in Home Depot (home improvement store) and saw a guy. She looked at him. He looked at her. They went to her place where he screwed her brains out for three hours and she never saw him again. She ended her story with: "It's that easy."
Well, after all these years trying to live as a man, it seems like a big adjustment to me, but I do see her point. As a woman in my sixties I may have a smaller selection, but – hey, we'll see. :)
- Kate
Quote from: Northern Jane on December 23, 2009, 10:15:46 AM
In discussing libido with my endocrinologist a year or so back (and complaining about my over-active 'desires') she said it probably has a lot more to do with how you feel about yourself and your general health than it has to do with hormones or anything physical. I think she is right.
Considering the self-image and body-image most TS have, it would make sense.
I find this to be true for myself.
Drs will often tell you its in your head when they dont know the answers. If someone has little libido pre op chances are its not going to change post op. Even if you do, it can take some time b4 having desires and longer to get an organism. This is an individual thing...