and vise versa, for transwomen
We (may) understand women better than most men. We (may) know how to. . . ahem, deal with the female anatomy better than most men.
Having had pretty violent periods before, I think I can be a little more understanding toward a woman when she has it... and aware of when she's BSing it.
No, there is a big list of things (arguable of course) that make a man - any man - better or worse (cool or worthless, there is very little in between). Same with women. But those things are character traits, not attributable to anything else, other than the strength and depth of your character.
Quote from: tekla on December 30, 2009, 05:05:25 PM
No, there is a big list of things (arguable of course) that make a man - any man - better or worse (cool or worthless, there is very little in between). Same with women. But those things are character traits, not attributable to anything else, other than the strength and depth of your character.
I don't think he is referring to overall good or bad, but rather anything that improves the experience. Or some FTM-related advantage.
I dont care about relating better to women, I'm gay :( lol
We're brought up to be politer, and many of us are highly attractive. :)
You would think, being female-bodied, I would understand women better. :-\ I don't get a lot of things they do. No offense to any ladies here. But for instance, spending large amounts of money on a wedding dress. My cousin spent $2000 for hers. She wore it for maybe two hours, and then never wears it again. :o I'd rather put that money on a down-payment for a house or at least a trip to Hawaii or something fun.
Why do women seem to gather together in the bathroom to socialize? Especially since many think body functions are embarrassing, wouldn't that be the last place to socialize? Please don't talk to me while I'm taking a dump.
Why do women hate it when you burp or fart? Geez, it's natural. Okay, okay, I've let a few go on purpose before to be funny, but they didn't find it funny at all and got mad.
Why do some of them just HAVE to have a boyfriend and can't seem to live without one (and their whole life revolves around him)...and why do they stay with someone who treats them like crap? I've never been able to wrap my mind around that.
Babies. I don't get why they think babies are such a big deal. If someone brings a baby in, everyone goes all mushy and coos at it, and you have to abandon whatever conversation you were having. And so many women don't feel complete if they don't have a child. And I get sick of people asking me when I'm going to have one and are horrified when I say I don't want kids and are horrified when I say I want a hysterectomy.
Now, there are a few things I can understand. Shopping, for one. One of my favorite hobbies. ;D There's nothing like a little retail therapy. It gets my mind of things for awhile. And ummm...clothes. I do like nice clothes. I wouldn't mind being a fashion designer. I can't think of anything else though right now.
I think that in a lot of ways, if not many, trans persons (which would explain some of the very high rate of relationship problems) are much worse off. Not relating to their birth gender leaves you out of a lot of the intimate internal conversation (about what makes women women, what makes men men) that many people have as a part of growing up, or at least being an adolescent. Yet, you were not privy to the other side either, which leaves a lot of trans persons at a distinct disadvantage.
So, you grew up not liking, if not outright despising, these other people grew up worshiping. Real quick, like off the top of your head, would you rather be with someone who deep inside despises you, or someone who worships you? Really, like you need an answer to that?
Sorry, distinct disadvantage.
Trans people may end up being more open minded about gender related things and maybe some general life things because they have lived as both genders.
Trans people may end up being more open minded about gender related things
You sure can't prove that by reading the posts here. Quite the opposite, if not diametrically opposed to that. So where - if not here - is that enlightenment found?
Sorry for this:
A nutcracker kick doesnt hurt you as much as it should.
A know its a touchy subject but if you dont learn to laugh at yourself. Then you lost the game.
It totally depends on your outlook. I don't mind being trans at all - at least my life isn't boring. For other people, it's a living hell (hence our suicide rates).
From a more factual point of view, no. I can't think of anything at all that makes it 'better' to be trans.
Mindfsckery by psychiatrists, increased health risks, a lifelong dependance on synthetic hormones (for a lot of us), potential transphobia from the medical profession resulting in a lack of quality care (or care in general), violence and misunderstanding from the general public, limited odds of ever being happy with an understanding partner, discrimination abound, and a really strong sense of disconnect with just about everybody in your life because of a lack of shared experiences and perspective.
Transitioning, as much as it sucks, is a pretty fascinating experience. Being trans has also made -- really, forced me -- to have a lot of empathy for people. After all, if I was carrying something for decades that deeply affected how I lived and nobody knew it, who knows what pain other people might be carrying? So it has made me very forgiving. Obviously this isn't universal. I've met some quite judgemental trans people.
Any of the other advantages of being a trans woman (i.e., ones that involve being raised as a boy or any of the physical differences liked height or strength) were perhaps beneficial at times, but I'd give them up in an instant. They're more disadvantageous than advantageous.
Also, Dude (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0118715/quotes), transwoman is not the preferred nomenclature. Trans woman, please. ;) In all seriousness, I'm not a transwoman any more than I am an Americanwoman or a collegeeducatedwoman or a whitewoman or an ablebodiedwoman. I'm a woman. And I'm trans. It's an adjective that describes me. That makes me a trans woman. "Transwoman" sounds like an obscure DC Comics superhero.
Other than intrisicaly knowing how to make a man blow his cookies in less than 2 minutes, I can not see any advantages to being trans over cis that I have found. ;D
Never being cis I couldn't truely know could I?
Quote from: Elijah on December 30, 2009, 04:43:43 PM
and vise versa, for transwomen
The whole transman or transwoman terminology is insulting and sucks! it sounds like an alien or a comic book villan! what's wrong with simply being male or female?
I never knew that the words were supposed to be separate, but that makes sense.
and to the last poster.. I guess I used those terms because I was in the question making a distinct difference between transgendered men, and cisgendered men. To stop confusion, if I had said, "Is there anything that makes being a man, any better then being a man?" it would not have made sense.
Quote from: Elijah on December 31, 2009, 03:21:21 PM
I never knew that the words were supposed to be separate, but that makes sense.
and to the last poster.. I guess I used those terms because I was in the question making a distinct difference between transgendered men, and cisgendered men. To stop confusion, if I had said, "Is there anything that makes being a man, any better then being a man?" it would not have made sense.
Ok Elijah, I did jump into that one without looking at your analogy of transgendered men and cisgendered men. I'm not sure what cisgendered men means by the way?
But my main point is I really don't like the awful terminology of transman or transwoman.
Quote from: jmaxley on December 30, 2009, 08:44:28 PM
You would think, being female-bodied, I would understand women better. :-\ I don't get a lot of things they do. No offense to any ladies here. But for instance, spending large amounts of money on a wedding dress. My cousin spent $2000 for hers. She wore it for maybe two hours, and then never wears it again. :o I'd rather put that money on a down-payment for a house or at least a trip to Hawaii or something fun.
Why do women seem to gather together in the bathroom to socialize? Especially since many think body functions are embarrassing, wouldn't that be the last place to socialize? Please don't talk to me while I'm taking a dump.
Why do women hate it when you burp or fart? Geez, it's natural. Okay, okay, I've let a few go on purpose before to be funny, but they didn't find it funny at all and got mad.
Why do some of them just HAVE to have a boyfriend and can't seem to live without one (and their whole life revolves around him)...and why do they stay with someone who treats them like crap? I've never been able to wrap my mind around that.
Babies. I don't get why they think babies are such a big deal. If someone brings a baby in, everyone goes all mushy and coos at it, and you have to abandon whatever conversation you were having. And so many women don't feel complete if they don't have a child. And I get sick of people asking me when I'm going to have one and are horrified when I say I don't want kids and are horrified when I say I want a hysterectomy.
I feel the same about these things, and I don't understand them. I figured having spent a number of years in a female body would give us something. (Like sympathy for periods, as Lachlann said.)
Quote from: Zelane on December 31, 2009, 01:12:36 PM
Sorry for this:
A nutcracker kick doesnt hurt you as much as it should.
A know its a touchy subject but if you dont learn to laugh at yourself. Then you lost the game.
True, and damn you made me lose the game.
Quote from: Naturally Blonde on December 31, 2009, 03:39:21 PM
Ok Elijah, I did jump into that one without looking at your analogy of transgendered men and cisgendered men. I'm not sure what cisgendered men means by the way?
But my main point is I really don't like the awful terminology of transman or transwoman.
its cool, and cisgendered people, are people who were born in the right body, some people call them biological men/women. Basically everyone BUT the people under the trans umbrella
Quote from: Zelane on December 31, 2009, 01:12:36 PM
Sorry for this:
A nutcracker kick doesnt hurt you as much as it should.
A know its a touchy subject but if you dont learn to laugh at yourself. Then you lost the game.
Lol, good one. I'm hardly happy about not having a functional pair, but this (points up) is a benefit that I have considered.
If I could interject something here, I think that growing up in the female role allows more freedom of gender expression during those years especially. Maybe not. But I think there are a lot of extrememly traumatizing "rights of passage" that are visited upon growing boys by older boys and adult males that damage anyone subjected to them, cis or otherwise. So I think a FTM, in avoiding some of those experiences, can wind up more psychologically stable and emotionally well-grounded than the typical cis-male. But maybe I'm overstating it.
Quote from: SilverFang on December 31, 2009, 04:02:28 PM
True, and damn you made me lose the game.
Me too. Grr...
Back on topic... These have already been said, but we don't have sensitive genitals to be kicked. We may not have ever been "girly" or anything like that, but we were brought up closer to females, so those of us who are straight or just prefer female friends may understand them a bit better.
Oh, and those of us who are gay are ENCOURAGED by society to be gay! :O That is until we transition. Idk about anyone else but I've gotten some funny looks from therapists when they find out I identify as male, and have had boyfriends in the past.
Quote from: glendagladwitch on December 31, 2009, 07:29:00 PM
If I could interject something here, I think that growing up in the female role allows more freedom of gender expression during those years especially. Maybe not. But I think there are a lot of extrememly traumatizing "rights of passage" that are visited upon growing boys by older boys and adult males that damage anyone subjected to them, cis or otherwise. So I think a FTM, in avoiding some of those experiences, can wind up more psychologically stable and emotionally well-grounded than the typical cis-male. But maybe I'm overstating it.
Probably the best response we've gotten here. The only drawback is that we're probably not seen as "as manly" as other men who've dealt with these things. Experiences generally help people mature.
Quote from: glendagladwitch on December 31, 2009, 07:29:00 PM
If I could interject something here, I think that growing up in the female role allows more freedom of gender expression during those years especially. Maybe not. But I think there are a lot of extrememly traumatizing "rights of passage" that are visited upon growing boys by older boys and adult males that damage anyone subjected to them, cis or otherwise. So I think a FTM, in avoiding some of those experiences, can wind up more psychologically stable and emotionally well-grounded than the typical cis-male. But maybe I'm overstating it.
That is a possibility, but I was definitely put through the grinder for not conforming to feminine stereotypes. It was mostly verbal disapproval from family members; my peer group tended to get more physical. All the experience did was make me resentful of everything even remotely feminine (I think this goes back to what Tekla was trying to get at).
I'm starting to let go of that resentment, now that I am being consistently read as male and no longer have 'feminine' expectations thrust upon me.
most girls tell me I'm better at getting them off than any of the guys they've been with are, which is probably because I can relate and know what feels good. so that's an advantage
also most guys who were born guys probably aren't happy all the time just because they're dudes. I find I'm happier than almost everyone around me because I'm so glad that I'm finally being seen as a guy and that my body is finally matching my mind. seriously, sometimes I'll just think about how awesome it is that I can transition and how much happier I am now. so that's good too