Just something I've been thinkin about. We all know that transition brings a number of good things for many of us. Feeling content in our bodies, finding a sense of happiness that many of us haven't experienced since before puberty, finally being able to be seen as the gender we really are, etc. But has anyone found any unexpected good things from it?
I've found that transition has really brought out the best of my whole family. Everyone in my family was extremely supportive. I knew that certain members would be cool with it, but I wasn't sure about some. My aunt and uncle on my mom's side are very religious so I wasn't sure about them. But they have been awesome about it, and I even went down there after surgery for 3 days to recover since my mom and step-dad had to work. My dad freaked out when I came out as gay, causing us to not talk for about a year, so I was very scared to tell him because we had only recently started becoming close again. But when I did, he not only supported me, but actually seemed glad. He said it is easier for him to have a transgender son than a gay daughter (doesn't make any sense to me either), and is enjoying doing things with me now that most dads do with their sons when they're in their early to mid teens. It's brought me closer to a lot of members of my family which is really great.
I think that sometimes there is a lot of focus on all the bad things that can come from transition. And while it is good to be aware of these things, it can sometimes be discouraging, especially for people who are just starting. So if anyone else has some of these unexpected good things post away!
My mom's husband and I have never gotten along. But since I came out, he has made a special effort to be accepting and let me know he's on my side. It's odd but it seems like suddenly in the context of my being a guy, he understands me a lot better. Before I was just a very odd woman. Now I make sense to more people. :laugh:
I also feel the love of my mother and father in its entirety. They accept and love me unconditionally as I am. Even the most important thing in the world to them - their religion, could not stand in the way. Their religion had to bend, not their love for me. I am so blessed.
That's great Nero :) Sounds like we've been pretty similar in terms of how members of our family reacted. We are blessed indeed
People tell me I'm courageous. I never expected that. I've always thought of myself as such a coward. But sometimes, just sometimes, I think, "It took serious balls to keep surviving, year in and year out. You found ways to cope. To get through the day. Even to challenge yourself and grow, in some ways. And then you finally had the guts to transition. Maybe you're not as much of a chicken as you think."
It helps to have external validation. Over time, I've learned to start using other people's validation to jump start myself when I'm down. God, it feels good.
I was reviled by my family as a man. I was not a nice guy at all. When I told my family I would be transitioning they have flocked to me. I have the collective blessing of my family and now that I am on HRT, I am a much sweeter person and they call me and write me now.
That was the best thing I never expected from transition.
Unexpected good things from transition ..... ME!
Quote from: Northern Jane on January 05, 2010, 04:30:29 PM
Unexpected good things from transition ..... ME!
Best reply ever.
My civil partner and the love of my life for the past 22 years. Also one of my best friends neither of whom I would have met if I hadn't had SRS at such a young age.
My partner and I were introduced to each other at a private party (when we were both several years postop) by my ex gender psychiatrist who had also became a very close friend and indeed continues to be so to this day.
Quote from: rejennyrated on January 05, 2010, 06:13:47 PM
My partner and I were introduced to each other at a private party (when we were both several years postop) by my ex gender psychiatrist who had also became a very close friend and indeed continues to be so to this day.
Wow! Cool story. BTW, I hope I can be friends with my therapist after he and I part ways professionally...but I don't think that's going to happen.
Boobs. Seriously, don't roll your eyes! Having been living an effeminate lifestyle already and already being a member of the lgbt community I was prepared for most of the social stuff...but I had no idea how awesome it would be to have hooters.
Well I surpose my relationship with my Mother, I was the youngest of 4sons, we found our Mother very hard to live with, when I came out to my family at 16 that I wanted to transition and spend the rest of my life as a woman, my Brothers where not impressed particularly one of my brothers, but my Mother was trilled at gaining a daughter, my Dad was well ok becaused it made my Mother so happy, I had a terrible past relationship with her, but that changed when I started transition, I had a very good Mother & daughter relationship, she taught me a lot of girl stuff and just being a woman.
Quote from: Becca on January 06, 2010, 03:28:16 AM
Boobs. Seriously, don't roll your eyes! Having been living an effeminate lifestyle already and already being a member of the lgbt community I was prepared for most of the social stuff...but I had no idea how awesome it would be to have hooters.
I agree, I use to admire women boobs, now I have a fabulous pair myself, I really love my girls, they are awesome, lots of guys have tolded me so.
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Being myself, not someone that someone else thought I should be. Granted I am a little on the girly side but that is me. I hated having to put on airs at being male.
Janet
After stagnating under my very eyes for some five and a half years, my ex is finally admitting it and recognizing that he has a lot of growing to do. I have a lot of growing to do, too, but in different ways; he used to steadfastly deny that he had certain shortcomings at all.
Unexpected things?
New friends. An actual social life. Never really had one of those before, lol.
Quote from: Marie731 on January 08, 2010, 11:14:37 PM
New friends. An actual social life. Never really had one of those before, lol.
I hear ya! Apart from a couple of good friends at the uni, I really started to cut myself off from people when my gender dysphoria started becoming too burdensome. Now I've reconnected with a couple of old friends and have made quite a few new ones...a few of them are definite keepers, and a lot of them are friendly acquaintances and allies. It's nice to be out of my shell.