What are your minor niggles, or bigger agitations?
Not a negative topic but for all the great things about being a guy there are a couple of things that annoy me.
1. In every store that sells womens and mens clothes I have to go either upstairs or down to the basement to find the menswear. Womenswear gets the prime floorspace, grr.
2. Before I had short hair I could easily get away without having a haircut for around 3 or 4 months. Now if I don't cut my hair around once a month it looks absolutely ridiculous.
3. I feel like a douche if I look at the DVD section labelled "Chick Flicks"
I agree with the hair thing.. and also, cool hair products are always targeted towards women, I want nice hair, but I dont want it to smell.. girlish.
I cant really think of anything else really.. I have way more complaints about being a girl.. WAYYY more
Exactly, I would be writing for days if I was to list my complaints about being a girl.
1 That my wife thinks its funny to make me carry her handbag
2 There's never any toilet roll in the cubicles
3 Why do they assume all blokes are 6 foot tall. It'd be nice if some things were my height i.e. short!!!
Being expected to defend people who can't defend themselves, or who let their stupidity get them into something they can't get out of.
Yeah I agree with the haircut thing, although that's not really a gender specific thing, anyone with short hair will need to get it cut more often
I dislike that if I pass by a woman on the street at night, she is more likely to be afraid of me
Besides that I can't think of anything :icon_shrug_no:
Women. They seem even more of a mystery now that I've finally started to embrace my gender identity.
I am annoyed that once I changed my gender marker on my license to M my car insurance went up $50 a month. Thats ridiculous.
Most of these problems I avoid by having long hair, wearing women's clothes, etc. But things like Kat mentioned (I feel like a suck-up today) are a concern, especially for a tiny little sissy like me. I probably can't even defend myself, let alone anyone with me. I also worry that people will expect me to lift heavy things.
What Chamillion mentions touches on a larger topic of women distrusting men more. It's usually justified, sadly, but it doesn't make it any more pleasant for me.
1. Yeah the whole being expected to save a mate's ass/save a damsel in distress/ or help get a 'mouth' out of trouble sucks! I liked my face in one piece before - and now still!
2. Car insurance went up - definitely sucked! :o Couldn't believe that!
3. People are more wary, especially chicks if you smile at them. Guys look at you funny! I've learned to just nod. And especially if you smile at a kid - people get really wary! :-\
4. I'm expected to know 'guy code'! Thank god there's a book lol!
5. I'm expected to all of a sudden know and love ALL sports (don't get me wrong I like some!) and to know ALL about cars and machines!
6. I am expected to lift the 'heavy end' of everything!
Jay
Yeah, but on the upside, using violence to solve interpersonal problems can be very rewarding. Or at least cathartic.
Quote from: tekla on January 08, 2010, 10:23:39 PM
Yeah, but on the upside, using violence to solve interpersonal problems can be very rewarding. Or at least cathartic.
Satisfaction usually guarenteed! If the person is being a right tw&t! lol :D
-People seem to take my violent sense of humor as something more threatening than it really is.
-Not all guys are 5'10"+ and 200 lbs. NOTHING is small enough to fit without making me really look like a little kid.
-Social Pain Tolerance. I don't bitch unless I'm seriously in some pain and it's relevant to the situation. (Example: "No, I can't help lift and carry that, I wrenched my knee") If a man mentions being in pain, he's probably gonna be called a wuss, or similar.
-Sex sex sex sex. Everyone assumes everything is always about sex all the time with guys. I'm a bit on the prudish side, so the constant sex-centric comments sort of get to me.
Quote from: Cody Oriole on January 08, 2010, 11:17:00 PM
-Sex sex sex sex. Everyone assumes everything is always about sex all the time with guys. I'm a bit on the prudish side, so the constant sex-centric comments sort of get to me.
There is a distinct possibility Cody, that people's assumptions will be proven once T (I don't think you are??)! T is actually proven to make one feel - more boystrous in that regard... Not that every guy, myself included, goes around humping people legs lol!
It just makes you more open to the possibilities... Please correct me if I'm wrong?
1. if you are stopping their fist with your face you're doing it wrong
2. The big book of guys sez you have no obligation to protect some fool from their own fool mouth, you only have to stand by so that the fight stops by emergency room time, and doesn't go to intensive care land.
Quote from: tekla on January 08, 2010, 11:58:15 PM
1. if you are stopping their fist with your face you're doing it wrong
2. The big book of guys sez you have no obligation to protect some fool from their own fool mouth, you only have to stand by so that the fight stops by emergency room time, and doesn't go to intensive care land.
LMFAO!
Quote from: Cody Oriole on January 08, 2010, 11:17:00 PM
-People seem to take my violent sense of humor as something more threatening than it really is.
-Not all guys are 5'10"+ and 200 lbs. NOTHING is small enough to fit without making me really look like a little kid.
-Sex sex sex sex. Everyone assumes everything is always about sex all the time with guys. I'm a bit on the prudish side, so the constant sex-centric comments sort of get to me.
i agree with all of these things
[although I love kids clothes... and would like to add I LOVE being dude because I can buy cheaper clothes that fit me quite will in the kids department.... but I hate that I can't find nearly anything in "grown up" stores]
Wait... is there seriously a book about guy code? :o
Google is your friend Cowboi!!
From the book...
If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever!
lol :D
Enjoy!!
Jay
Our public toilets smell worse.
Diving face first into a block of milk chocolate is considered "girly".
I don't like being considered prissy just because I like my privacy and personal space.
I'm sick to death of people telling me I'm "not much of a real man" because I have a slightly different taste / opinion / way of doing things than they do. They hold themselves up as the "template of manhood" - and each way we differ is "proof" to them that I am not a "real man", as if they were the only variation of man in the world.
I have no problems with being a man, or the standards men are held to. What I have a real issue with is the double standard - I don't like being held to a much more rigid, stereotyped set of expectations than those my XY counterparts are held to.
Quote from: tekla on January 08, 2010, 10:23:39 PM
Yeah, but on the upside, using violence to solve interpersonal problems can be very rewarding. Or at least cathartic.
Fortunately for women who like such things there is Roller Derby.
Anyhow... I just wanted to drop in and say that I love this thread.
There seriously needs to be a book on perspectives of gender from people who were forced to live as the opposite gender early in life.
It's just so fascinating!
Carry on. (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Filovefuzz.com%2Fposting.php%3Fmode%3Dsmilies%26amp%3Bf%3D40%23&hash=f5ba6cb38709622eafaee98c85b8a8ae91dc9a8e)
I have yet to experience any of these issues that comes with being male.
I came to say, "Yes! There is indeed a book of the so-called male code!"
This book, at least where I am from, is called The Bro Code. It is a very interesting and fun read. ;D
Quote from: No-Name on January 09, 2010, 03:44:42 AM
This book, at least where I am from, is called The Bro Code. It is a very interesting and fun read. ;D
I suppose that book is bound in Bro Cade?
One annoying thing for guys: If you are a guy, your talking about certain subjects in any remotely positive (or sometimes even neutral) way will automatically peg you as gay in the eyes of many others, especially other men. These subjects include:
- musicals
- fashion
- hair or make-up or jewelry or body decorations other than tattoos. And maybe tongue piercings.
- Sex In The City, Will and Grace, or any other shows that most straight men do not watch regularly.
This literally means that many people will assume that you are homosexual for no reason other than hearing you talking positively about one or more of these things.
My source: I work somewhere where knowing about musicals occasionally comes in handy. 4 of my coworkers have approached me and had conversations similar to the following occur -
Coworker: Are you...you know...
Me: ?
Coworker: Gay?
Me: No. Why?
Coworker: Well, I thought most guys who were into theatre and musicals and stuff were.
Me: Sorry.
Quote from: Arch on January 09, 2010, 03:58:34 AM
I suppose that book is bound in Bro Cade?
*groans* *facepalm*
Quote from: No-Name on January 09, 2010, 03:44:42 AM
I have yet to experience any of these issues that comes with being male.
I came to say, "Yes! There is indeed a book of the so-called male code!"
This book, at least where I am from, is called The Bro Code. It is a very interesting and fun read. ;D
I need to read that, because I've been told at least once by a male friend that I was oblivious to it.
Quote from: Teknoir on January 09, 2010, 01:12:31 AM
Our public toilets smell worse.
Amen.
Post Merge: January 10, 2010, 01:13:55 AM
Quote from: petzjazz on January 09, 2010, 04:17:13 AM
One annoying thing for guys: If you are a guy, your talking about certain subjects in any remotely positive (or sometimes even neutral) way will automatically peg you as gay in the eyes of many others, especially other men. These subjects include:
- Sex In The City, Will and Grace, or any other shows that most straight men do not watch regularly.
->-bleeped-<- that, my straight trans buddy and I are both Sex in the City fans.
Quote from: alex k on January 08, 2010, 08:26:29 PM
1 That my wife thinks its funny to make me carry her handbag
I think this was the funniest one in this thread :D
I know it happens so many times :D
It reminds me the time I was staying at a trans house after meeting because I couldn't get home.
Everyone (the girls too!) kept *asking me*!!! to carry my things around when we went out and they showed me the city, or just help me with things it was funny!!
Like, guys sure but when the girls did that I just laughed inside so much ^^
I am just small compared to almost everyone including the ftms there so I guess something crawled into their minds :D
I find it kinda funny reading things here which I never had a problem with in boy mode, well, except the mens toilets are always messier, stinky and stuff.
I guess I am not that short for the height complains (at 163 or 164 cm - 5'4 feet/inch) but people (other than family or some school guys who always had what to say) never found the way I act wrong, but then again I restricted myself quite a bit.
But I guess it helps that everyone thinks you are 13-15 so when you are 20 years old O_o just slipping out of the men's stuff the easy and funny way, which you guys would probably NOT be happy with :^^
My biggest gripes are the smell of urinal cakes, and not being able to find hats & shoes in my size. Of course the latter is more an issue with being small guy.
I'm sure I break the "guy code" right and left, but I've never been called on it. I don't know if that's because no-one really thinks of me as a guy, or if they're just too polite to say anything. Probably some of both. But then, I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I'm not going to have spent my entire life fighting one set of sexual stereotypes just to turn around and embrace another. As the saying goes, "What people think of me is none of my business."
Fortunately, I'm a well-known nerd, so any failings in "manliness" are likely to be attributed to that. ;)
I am rather annoyed about the fact that I have to spend double the amount of money on my clothes because I wear such small sizes that they either are not stocked in cheap stores, or not even made. I refuse to buy from the boy's sections.
Climbing out of one box just to be shoved into another.
Yeah I agree about the point that walking past a woman in the dark is way more risky now, as in i will be seen as threat- that's a hard one to get my head around.
T has made me a LOT less moody- to the point where sometimes I literally can't understand why my girlfried is upset. I feel bad about that.
I'm still going to read the womens mags at the supermarket checkout. :laugh:
Men's clothing variety sucks. Women definitely have the advantage in having so many choices in clothing styles. It's the only thing I like about being female, is some of the clothes.
oh yeah I completely forgot about how there is such a lack of colour overall for mens clothes. Hmm do I want the jumper in grey, darker grey, or black?
Quote from: Greg on January 10, 2010, 07:34:59 PM
oh yeah I completely forgot about how there is such a lack of colour overall for mens clothes. Hmm do I want the jumper in grey, darker grey, or black?
Being the emo kid that I am, I actually like that - I will never have to dig through a pile of pink clothing in order to find a decent shirt again. :D
Quote from: Aaron Chris on January 10, 2010, 07:37:09 PM
Being the emo kid that I am, I actually like that - I will never have to dig through a pile of pink clothing in order to find a decent shirt again. :D
Haha, same here minus the emo. I'm just boring and plain.
What do I not like about being male? Although it hasn't happened to me, being a male is dangerous. More likely to get my a** kicked by accidentally offending somebody.
Any other problems I have are that I'm a small, weak, feminine man. It really sucks. But what can you do?
There is nothing about being seen as the man I am that annoys me.
The only thing that gets my goat is constantly having my masculinity questioned. If I'm not hammering up drywall while spitting and scratching my ass I'm apparently not a real man.
Car insurance going up.. >:(
Women think that just because you talk to them that you are automatically hitting on them ::)
That I have to be the one who brings and supports the female.
Thats all for now!
Jay
Hah, I always loved carrying things for the ladies. Even before I came out as trans I always ended up being the one to do it (if there were no cis-men around).
The only thing that really bothers me about about being a guy is the expectation of buying into the whole machismo thing, and being thought less of a man if you don't partake in the many pissing contests that men get into. I don't really care if you can spit further, lift more, etc, than me, dude. ::)
Quote from: alex k on January 08, 2010, 08:26:29 PM
1 That my wife thinks its funny to make me carry her handbag
2 There's never any toilet roll in the cubicles
3 Why do they assume all blokes are 6 foot tall. It'd be nice if some things were my height i.e. short!!!
Yes the toilet roll this GOD i use mens toilets all he time now when im out, and no one batters a eyeled, But the toilet roll thing. how much roll do men need for there backside... after im finished i have to set on the toilet for 25 mins till its all gorn LOL its annoying as hell, epecerley im MD,lol
Quote from: Twin Hammer Tommy on January 11, 2010, 10:29:54 AMThe only thing that really bothers me about about being a guy is the expectation of buying into the whole machismo thing, and being thought less of a man if you don't partake in the many pissing contests that men get into. I don't really care if you can spit further, lift more, etc, than me, dude. ::)
... Lol. I bullied my fellow trans friend into arm wrestling with me.
Men's bathroom smells. And I've noticed that a broken lock/door in a men's room is less likely to get fixed than the women's (at least around here).
Men are supposed to traditionally make the first move on women...and having lived much of my life as female, I feel lost and stupid as to what to do. Whenever I do try to make friends with women, I'm seen as making a pass at them.
Clothing. Try finding a Men's 6 in shoes or winter boots. I usually have maybe 2 pair to pick from. A lot of the men's clothing that fits me in the chest and shoulders drapes down too low and drowns me...and boy's clothes typically look boyish.
Definitely that the bathrooms smell worse and that there's never any toilet paper.
This is a nursing thing, but male nurses are expected to do different things than females and aren't allowed in certain areas without permission. I understand the mother-baby stuff, but I get asked to lift patients or move equipment 10x more than my female classmates, regardless of whom is actually stronger or more capable.
The fact that if I tear up in a movie, I'm a wuss, but if the girl next to me is bawling, it's because she's empathic or sensitive.
Having to like beer... urgh.
Having to like beer... urgh.
Not all guys like beer. That's why whiskey was invented.
And anymore I don't even see the guys around me drinking beer. I'm the only one who likes Bud and I get no end of grief about it (but there is always plenty for me in the beer bucket, and no one else will drink it, so... SCORE!). They are all drinking some Belgian style Ale, or some unfiltered swill, or IPAs, or anything but beer. I'll even break down and have some of the double IPA they brew up the street here. It's .8% AVB where most beer is like 3.2 to 4% ABV. And at .8% ABV, it does not take you long not to care anymore.
Quote from: tekla on January 12, 2010, 01:07:34 PM
Having to like beer... urgh.
Not all guys like beer. That's why whiskey was invented.
And anymore I don't even see the guys around me drinking beer. I'm the only one who likes Bud and I get no end of grief about it (but there is always plenty for me in the beer bucket, and no one else will drink it, so... SCORE!). They are all drinking some Belgian style Ale, or some unfiltered swill, or IPAs, or anything but beer. I'll even break down and have some of the double IPA they brew up the street here. It's .8% AVB where most beer is like 3.2 to 4% ABV. And at .8% ABV, it does not take you long not to care anymore.
Lucky you, it's all guys drink round here. Then again, no one actually pretends it tastes good.
There is always tequila. And since it makes me bark at the moon and chase after cars I've pretty much had to move away from it. So that's just more for you.
It just has me bending over sinks, I'm not made of stern stuff.
I have to admit, there's some part of me that actually enjoys the 'pissing contests'; possibly because I'm a 'good looser'. It's a chance to finally express some of that competitive nature that girls aren't supposed to have.
Now I just wish I understood when and how these things take place. Not being raised a guy makes me pretty oblivious to when someone's trying to one-up me. :laugh:
Quote from: Cody Oriole on January 12, 2010, 04:16:37 PM
Now I just wish I understood when and how these things take place. Not being raised a guy makes me pretty oblivious to when someone's trying to one-up me. :laugh:
I've been trying to one-up every guy I knew since middle school. At least the ones whom I was jealous of. I remember many P.E. classes when we'd go out for sports, soccer especially since that was easy, and I'd get stuck on teams against thess guys, Ronald or Daniel. Either were the sporty guys whom all the girls adored. I tried so hard to get them on that field... >:(
I wish I had grown up a boy. I enjoy this sort of competetive nature. We always took it as good fun, probably because I was a girl... Eh. :)
Quote from: Hanlet on January 12, 2010, 01:11:04 PM
Lucky you, it's all guys drink round here. Then again, no one actually pretends it tastes good.
Haha I don't pretend, I enjoy the taste of beer. I think it's funny that beer is looked at as a man's drink, considering it's the easiest to drink. The people who can take shots are much more 'manly' in my eyes! Haha, not complaining tho cos it's pretty much the only thing I can drink
I think it's funny that beer is looked at as a man's drink, considering it's the easiest to drink.
I think it's because of all the calories that beer has, and I also think that a good Chardonnay is a lot easier for most people to drink then beer, particularly if we're talking craft beer which tends to be heavy on hops and more bitter.
one of the things I dont like 'bout bein a dude is 2 be stuck in the women's dept buyin clothes & shoes w/ my gf :-\ :-\ :-\. I dont mind goin shopping w/ her but she takes forever 2 get what she wants & I kinda get bored. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: when I go shoppin by myself I go into a dept store grab what I want & I'm outta there. dunno why women take 2 damn long 2 shop >:-) :D >:-) :D
i dont like being expected to know about sports, cars, wrestling, etc.
i dont like being expected to talk about fu**ing bit**es and beating up f*gs
i dont like that i am percieved as threatening.
Back when I was a guy, I hated the moral obligation to be ready to sacrifice life and limb for the females and children. When the bear shows up it is the male that must fight as the women and children escape. That is the price of manhood. Men are expected to be defenders and protectors. Some men take this ->-bleeped-<- super serious. If someone must war it is historically the men. The entire history of manhood is rife with these themes.
That is the worst part of being a male. I am so not cut out for that crap.
Not being able to comment intelligently on parenting issues. I mean I can, and I do, but you should see the ladies and their smart retorts. Like what could a MAN possibly know?? Deep sigh eye roll.
Jay
Quote from: Cody Oriole on January 12, 2010, 04:16:37 PM
I have to admit, there's some part of me that actually enjoys the 'pissing contests'; possibly because I'm a 'good looser'. It's a chance to finally express some of that competitive nature that girls aren't supposed to have.
Now I just wish I understood when and how these things take place. Not being raised a guy makes me pretty oblivious to when someone's trying to one-up me. :laugh:
Same here.
Quote from: sneakersjay on January 13, 2010, 12:45:38 PM
Not being able to comment intelligently on parenting issues. I mean I can, and I do, but you should see the ladies and their smart retorts. Like what could a MAN possibly know?? Deep sigh eye roll.
Jay
Yeah, that's pretty much the only issue I have. But I guess it's even more annoying to be seen as a girl and have the guys think you couldn't possibly know anything about guys.
Now I just wish I understood when and how these things take place. Not being raised a guy makes me pretty oblivious to when someone's trying to one-up me.
1. Just assume its like breathing, it's always going on. If you're not noticing it, then you're the target.
2. It only happens at the middle levels. The top people don't have to do it. If you set the school's rushing record, were the overwhelming vote for All-League and are already packing your bags for LA because you got a full ride sports scholarship at USC, you don't have to tell anyone about your football prowess. If you were picked last, because someone had to take you, you're not going to be playing either, you're just trying to stay the hell out of the way.
It's like having ten guys on a job and five of them will get to be on permanent, the other five get to go home and look for work again. Now two of the guys are a dead lock, and two of them aren't going to get hired if they are the last two guys on earth, that leaves six people fighting for three slots. They are the six who are going to be pissing all over each other.
What annoys you most about being a guy?
Everything, I absolutely hated being a guy, specially the youngest of 4guys, where do I start, the list is very long, being bullied, expected to play rough sports at school, hard rough and tumble, 1 up manship all the time in a pack, the whole macho pecking order, well at 16years of age I had enough, started my transition to womanhood, glad I never matured into manhood, the hell would have just continued.
Since I completed my transition, I was the only girl in the family, my parents spoiled me, my brothers never dared say a thing against me, they had a girlie respect for me, I loved being a girl, I now absolutely love being a woman, yes I do love shopping, fashion, pretty dresses and shoes, I love my shoe collection and getting pampered, going to a beauty salon getting a makeover and getting my hair and nails done, just being a girl and doing girly things, get cheap car insurance, get doors held open for me, never left standing always get offered a seat, love being treated like a lady cos I am a lady.
Down side, guys making me feel Im dumb, just glad Im not a guy anymore.
p
Quote from: pretty pauline on January 13, 2010, 02:38:21 PM
...expected to play rough sports at school, hard rough and tumble, 1 up manship all the time in a pack, the whole macho pecking order
But that's the fun stuff! ;D
Quote from: Radar on January 13, 2010, 03:13:33 PM
But that's the fun stuff! ;D
This! Most definitely! ;D
the whole macho pecking order
But that's the fun stuff!
Until you get tired of being number 10 forever in a group of 9 guys. Then, I'm lead to understand, it gets real old, real fast.
Quote from: tekla on January 13, 2010, 03:34:02 PMUntil you get tired of being number 10 forever in a group of 9 guys. Then, I'm lead to understand, it gets real old, real fast.
Those are the ones who don't think it's fun.
It might be in the short game, but never in the long run.
Quote from: Radar on January 13, 2010, 04:18:36 PM
Those are the ones who don't think it's fun.
I agree, yeah it was never fun for me as a guy.
Now guys see me in a different light, I get male attention from straight guys who checked me out, they look at my legs, my butt, my hips, my cleavage, these days Iv a better relationship with guys, not to play rough and tumble games getting all dirty and messy ugh yucky, but to hold me, be gentle with me, give me flowers and chocolates, kiss and hug me and just take care of me, a nice strong guy but is gentle and treats a girl like a lady, Im lucky I have a boyfriend (fiancé) who does just that, hope Im not annoying you guys, can't help it, just a typicial girl.
p
This only applies if I'm actually passing as a male, lol, which isn't often right now :(
- I get looked at funny if my voice goes up too high
- I get stares whether I'm in the ladies' or the mens' section of the shop
- I'm expected to lower my standards of hygiene (I HAVE to shower once a day, and change my clothes too. if I'm on a camping trip I can get smelly, but not when I'm around friends and going to college XS)
But I've
always liked spitting contests and playing rough! ;D Once in a backyard football game I got ahold of the pigskin, and because the others (all guys!) were reluctant to tackle me, they just sort of hung on me. And I had been tackling them unmercifully the whole game, too. Guess what? I shocked the hell out of them when I kept trucking, even with 3 guys on my back! XD It was purely the adrenaline though, cos I couldn't keep it up for long. Had to chuck the ball to my brother when I was only 15 feet from the 'endzone' fence.