Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Non-binary talk => Topic started by: RompingGoat on January 18, 2010, 09:46:51 PM

Title: Androgynes in the flesh
Post by: RompingGoat on January 18, 2010, 09:46:51 PM
Have any of you actually talked to a fellow androgyne in real life?  If you have, what was it like?

I imagine it would be comforting.  While an online support community is nice to have, it's hard to not feel like a weirdo when you're the only androgyne you ever see.
Title: Re: Androgynes in the flesh
Post by: no_id on January 19, 2010, 02:26:56 AM
Quite certain I met few, but none that were conscious or felt a need to enlighten me about their identity. So unfortunately no tete a tete's with a cup of tea and cherry pie to tell grand tales about.

I have to agree that an encounter would be interesting, if only for the phenonema of two folk sitting there like monkey scientists studying each other (something that in my eyes seems inevtiable). That said, if you don't mind I'd like to add a question to your thread;

What are your expectations of an encounter with another Androgyne (a social activity just like with any other individual or more of an experimental study hour)?

Pretty sure that those who did meet other Androgynes can work that question as well (how were your expectations met...).
Personally I'd just sit there, be my awkward self and study every itsy-bitsy detail to remember for later reference.
Title: Re: Androgynes in the flesh
Post by: Constance on January 19, 2010, 10:55:18 AM
Well, I've not yet met someone face-to-face who identified as androgyne. At least, as far as I know I haven't. I think it would be cool, though.
Title: Re: Androgynes in the flesh
Post by: Pica Pica on January 19, 2010, 01:25:30 PM
I have never met anyone that told me they were androgyne, but I bet I have met some.

If I were to meet one I would just like to have a cup of tea and cake and a chat...maybe go out for real drinks after the tea with a few other people as well. As the casual atmosphere increases we could ask more questions. But I would keep my eyes open reading body language etc as well... But I'd try to pretend that I was not.
Title: Re: Androgynes in the flesh
Post by: Eva Marie on January 19, 2010, 05:35:06 PM
I have met quite a few people over the years, and i'd guess that some of them were androgyne/transgendered, and I never caught onto it, just as people meet me, and would never guess that i'm androgyne/transgendered either.  Unless I decide to start dropping clues, it'll probably stay that way.
Title: Re: Androgynes in the flesh
Post by: Kinkly on January 20, 2010, 05:05:27 AM
I haven't met anyone who Identified as Androgyne but I have met a couple of non binary trans people
it was a great experance and it was organised by a "gender Magicion" (non transitioning F2M) to do research into other peoples trans/genderqueer experance so that he would be able to incorprate into his up & coming show so it was a really nice talking about stuff with real people who had some understanding the first thing i was asked when I arrived was what pronouns I prefered so I knew from the start that people understood.
there were a couple of genderqueer people a "Pangendered Woman" who to me seems a lot like the Bigendered (non plural) people I've met online and a fairly butch M2F   
Title: Re: Androgynes in the flesh
Post by: rejennyrated on January 20, 2010, 08:41:35 AM
Quote from: Kinkly on January 20, 2010, 05:05:27 AM
... I have met a couple of non binary trans people.
Am I unusual in rejecting the idea of gender as a rigid binary and instead seeing it as a spectrum then? I honestly thought that everyone thought and felt that way.

For social convennience I do label myself as female - but as regards the practical outworking of that I have always believed that gender expression is like a pick and mix, no two of us have the exact same mix of masculine and feminine qualities - but every single human being has a blend of both - it's just that some are more aware of it (or perhaps more willing to be aware of it) than others.
Title: Re: Androgynes in the flesh
Post by: Eva Marie on January 20, 2010, 09:39:37 AM
Quote from: rejennyrated on January 20, 2010, 08:41:35 AM
Am I unusual in rejecting the idea of gender as a rigid binary and instead seeing it as a spectrum then? I honestly thought that everyone thought and felt that way.

bingo
Title: Re: Androgynes in the flesh
Post by: rejennyrated on January 20, 2010, 11:37:27 AM
Quote from: riven_one on January 20, 2010, 09:39:37 AM
bingo
Oh dear! It seems that this whole forum section may yet force me to redefine myself slightly.  8) what fun! :D
Title: Re: Androgynes in the flesh
Post by: tekla on January 20, 2010, 11:50:30 AM
I reject that binary also, I've seen far too many people who fall outside those rigid definitions. And I know a few - and see even more - people in real life who blur all that on a daily basis, but of course it's San Francisco, and every day here is Halloween.
Title: Re: Androgynes in the flesh
Post by: Constance on January 20, 2010, 12:40:35 PM
I like to let their teeny minds think
that they're dealing with someone who's gone over the brink
and I dress this way just to keep them at bay
coz Halloween is everyday


-- "Everyday is Halloween" by Ministry
Title: Re: Androgynes in the flesh
Post by: tekla on January 20, 2010, 12:46:48 PM
Always a big fan of Ministry, and old Al is a very nice guy offstage.
Title: Re: Androgynes in the flesh
Post by: Kinkly on January 24, 2010, 08:53:15 AM
there is a local facebook group "genderqueer brisbane" and we are getting together for our second ever get together (I couldn't make the first) next weekend and I'm realy looking forward to it.
Title: Re: Androgynes in the flesh
Post by: Shana A on January 24, 2010, 09:11:40 AM
I occasionally speak at local events on transgender issues. About a year ago, someone came up to me after a talk and said that they related to what I said about being androgyne; that this described who they were, how they felt.

So yes, there are other androgynes out there, but you can't always tell by outward appearances.

Z
Title: Re: Androgynes in the flesh
Post by: reilly on February 20, 2010, 01:34:53 PM
Sometimes I run into someone that makes me wonder, but it's difficult to tell- fashion is going more 'androgynous', etc.- and I don't want to ask outright.  I think it'd be great, though.  There are tons of LGBTQ meetups and support groups and community clubs and such around here, but nothing specifically for or clearly inclusive to androgynes.  I guess I should be doing something about that rather than just complaining, but I haven't actually come out to anyone yet...
Title: Re: Androgynes in the flesh
Post by: Kinkly on February 26, 2010, 06:04:59 AM
Unless someone in clearly presenting as gender diverse you can't tell and even then nothing is for sure.

If you cant find anygroup that you fit in you may wish to make your own either through social networking site eg facebook or to send out a message to all the trans groups in your area saying you are wanting to start a group either for all trans people including androgyne/genderqueer/non binary gendered people. as well as M2F & F2M
Title: Re: Androgynes in the flesh
Post by: Kendall on March 01, 2010, 07:42:17 PM
My estimate is that for every six TS, there is one non-binary person that might or might not identify as androgyne. How they will look will vary greatly. From same as their birth sex all the way to a fully transitioned SRS androgynes or removed entire genitalia. Probably the only way to know is to be told or ask.

Title: Re: Androgynes in the flesh
Post by: Crow on March 03, 2010, 08:06:11 PM
My best friend identifies as genderqueer-- not an "androgyne" per say (since they don't identify as part male, part female), but they are definitely outside of the gender binary. They don't live in the same area as me, and the last time I saw them in person, neither of us had quite come to our own gender-conclusions, but they are definitely such a comforting person to know, and I'm excited for the next time we have the chance to get together in person.

Other than them... there is a person at my college who I believe identifies as androgynous, but our personalities are so drastically at odds that I haven't really gotten to know them. The simple fact that this person exists in the same place as me, though, is oddly comforting, even if my interactions with them aren't likely to go beyond sitting across the room from them at LGBT organization meetings and periodically complimenting particularly awesome outfits.