Sometimes in class (with new people) I will be sitting there, the person doesn't know my name, and hasn't heard me talk.. but I cant help but find myself wonder.. "Does this person think I'm a guy or a girl?" its really frustrating.
Does anyone else think this way?
All the time, man, all the time.
The old saying is: What other people think of you is not your business. Work more on your own goals, your own life and leave other people's lives to them to figure out.
Quote from: tekla on January 20, 2010, 11:55:33 AM
The old saying is: What other people think of you is not your business. Work more on your own goals, your own life and leave other people's lives to them to figure out.
If he's in a class with these people then it would be interesting for him to know what their perception is to him prior to knowing anything about him.
I'm always curious of others thoughts. I'm pretty sure since all my recent short hair cuts that anyone who sees me or even hears me talk thinks I'm male. I just pass. Then I'm outed by someone saying my name. Mind you I figured things out at the end of Fall semester so I wasn't trying and so I still went as a female though everything about me since middle school has practically screamed male.
But in short, yes, I do this too.
Quote from: Elijah on January 20, 2010, 11:06:39 AM
Sometimes in class (with new people) I will be sitting there, the person doesn't know my name, and hasn't heard me talk.. but I cant help but find myself wonder.. "Does this person think I'm a guy or a girl?" its really frustrating.
Does anyone else think this way?
Bet the other person is thinking exactly the same thing.
Very rarely do I catch myself thinking about what other people are thinking. Honestly I could really care less. Yes I want to pass but not at the expense of me actually giving a damn about what people think.
Quote from: Carson on January 20, 2010, 02:31:54 PM
Very rarely do I catch myself thinking about what other people are thinking. Honestly I could really care less. Yes I want to pass but not at the expense of me actually giving a damn about what people think.
I think you mean you 'couldn't care less. ;)
I kind of do and don't. I think people are more likely to think I'm a lesbian than a trans person at the moment and I don't want to dwell on that with every single person I see, that would be exhausting. When I have come out to them, then I wonder more what they think. But not every person I see on the street - I reckon I'll be more worried about this on T though.
Quote from: Lachlann on January 20, 2010, 02:44:03 PM
I think you mean you 'couldn't care less. ;)
haha yes THAT, sorry long day of classes.
Quote from: Carson on January 20, 2010, 04:48:37 PM
haha yes THAT, sorry long day of classes.
It happens to us all.
I do wonder what people think, all the time. It gets to me. Even now when I pass 95% of the time, somewhere in my head I still think people know I'm female-bodied.
Yeah I still think about this, even though I've passed 100% of the time for quite a while. I dunno, just habit I guess. I think it's natural to wonder how people perceive you
Quote from: spacial on January 20, 2010, 12:19:42 PM
Bet the other person is thinking exactly the same thing.
Well probably not the *exact* same thing
Quote from: Elijah on January 20, 2010, 11:06:39 AMDoes anyone else think this way?
Yep. What's even more annoying is the people who know me as female and use female pronouns- but I can't be mad at them if they don't know.
Quote from: insanitylives on January 20, 2010, 06:22:37 PM
Well probably not the *exact* same thing
No, the other person is thinking, ' Does anyone know I'm really kinda crazy or have I managed to fool them?', 'Does anyone think I'm gay?', Does anyone know my guilty secret?', Doesn anyone think I smell?', Is everyone her going to hate me?'......
Those sort of things.
Like everyone thinks all the time. Paranoia is perfectly healthy. It keeps us on our toes. As long as we know it's paranoia, there no problem.
It also gives us something to laugh abiout in a few years time. :D
All the time. :-\
Yes it's really annoying when I do that because I have an over active imagination and think the worst of people until after I get to know them. The mall or any hugely crowded place is a pain. Though the good thing about where I live or it can be a bad thing, if people want to really know they just ask. Or say a question loud enough for you to hear towards someone else. Either you can ignore it or make a fuss.
I more wonder about my SO i bet if i was like Hey am i passing right now She'd be like yes hun. Would anyone else in the real world see the same thing? Probobly not. A guy can dream.
YEA! All the time. I thought I was the only one that thought about that. I find myself thinking about it more when I'm at work. I see a cute girl and I see her looking at me and smiling or something so I'm like ok so does she know or does she think I'm a dude... ??? haha then next thing I know one of my coworkers yell my name. but anyways yeah it does
Sure.
Last week I went to a LGBT and straight disco, and a man started to dance with me, just like he wanted to ask me to go out with him.
Well, I was in panic because I didn't know if he tought that I was a masculine woman or a feminine guy.
I hate not being under HRT <.<
Quote from: Radar on January 20, 2010, 06:29:38 PM
Yep. What's even more annoying is the people who know me as female and use female pronouns- but I can't be mad at them if they don't know.
Yes, and this.
Quote from: Radar on January 20, 2010, 06:29:38 PM
Yep. What's even more annoying is the people who know me as female and use female pronouns- but I can't be mad at them if they don't know.
I know what this is like. Still gets me upset but benefit of the doubt and all that.
Quote from: spacial on January 20, 2010, 07:33:20 PM
No, the other person is thinking, 'Does anyone know I'm really kinda crazy or have I managed to fool them?', 'Does anyone think I'm gay?', Does anyone know my guilty secret?' ...
This is very refreshing/grounding to hear, because it's probably
the most true among young students.
I find myself curious, but not overly concerned.
I don't really care too much. There's nothing I can do to change their perseption. If I'm clocked, I'm clocked. I just keep using my (overtly male) name, and the correct pronous towards myself, and I correct any errors that come up.
As for people that knew me from "before" - they know of my transition. They use correct name and pronouns. If they don't know, I tell them (they'd find out eventually anyway).
Since I can only pass as Male very rarely, I kind of stopped wondering what people think of me. I know from the way I dress they probably think I'm an idiot. But I made my own style of Goth :laugh:
Used too, used to ruin my confidence.. don't anymore! w00p!
Jay
Since I get lots of funny looks and double takes, I'm SURE that other people are trying to figure out what gender I am. Hell, only 2 weeks ago I was going through airport security and the Random Patdown Screener had to ask me if I was male or female, since she could only pat down females. I wasn't confident enough (nor was I packing) to state I was male, so I got ma'am-ed again. :S
And lots of people have guessed me to be lesbian, judging from my clothes and hair, but they get re-confused when they see my boyfriend and I hanging on each other. xD
I just don't worry about it much anymore. If someone wants to think I'm a lesbo, that's their mistake not mine. I know what I am.
Haha, just today I walked into a bathroom full of girls (why must they congregate there??) and it went pretty quiet, got some stares of people probably trying to determine my sex. Was pretty uncomfortable, but I bet they were uncomfortable too.
I think I'm just going to try to care less. It can only benefit me.
Quote from: SilverFang on January 23, 2010, 03:06:27 AM
Haha, just today I walked into a bathroom full of girls (why must they congregate there??) and it went pretty quiet, got some stares of people probably trying to determine my sex. Was pretty uncomfortable, but I bet they were uncomfortable too.
I think I'm just going to try to care less. It can only benefit me.
Actually, I think that's a very obvious hint that you went into the wrong toilets ;)
Im ALWAYS curious as to what other people are thinking. Ive started working int he classroom again with kids where some knew me before I transitioned and you can see a few of them looking at me and chatting with their friends. The only comment i've had is 'I don't remember you with a beard..."
I would love to know what they're thinking and chatting about.