A friend of mine is studying to be a teacher. For one of his classes he's supposed to prepare some topic and present it like he would if he did in front of an actual class. He chose transsexuality and asked me for some advice. (He doesn't now that I have gender identity issues myself, but knows that I'm rather involved with LGBT matters in general.)
He's an intelligent, tolerant guy, but the topic is still very much taboo in Austria (even more so in the arch-conservative part of it we both grew up in), so misconceptions run rampant and I'm sure, as good as his intentions are, he has his fair share of them.
I think this will be a good opportunity to set him straight (and indirectly give some proper information to the other students in his course as well).
So it would be great if you all could just list some of the common misconceptions that annoy you personally the most, so I won't forget something important.
Some things I will definitely mention:
- Gender identity and sexual orientation are two very different things.
- Not every transgendered person has known it all their life (and that doesn't make their gender identity any less valid).
- How hormone replacement therapy works.
- Why the correct term is "sex reassignment surgery" and not "sex change", and that TS is not nearly as much about surgery than pop culture would let you believe.
Gender identity is not a perversion.
Transpeople are not predators.
Transpeople are not mentally ill.
Transitioning is the only recommended treatment.
The list seems to be corrections of misconceptions, but I can add this if you wish. They are a bit more progressive politically than your friend may wish or need.
Each of us has a right to live as we choose.
None of us has any duty to conform to a sexual norm.
Each of us has an exactly equal right to be here and to be free.
For me it.s always been "someone is putting ideas inyour head" type of thing and "you dream this up" are the ones that I always hear the most from my mom mostly but some times from others. I have been told I was a "pervert" by some as well.
Love being female
Linda Ann
xoxoxo
It is not a phase nor a mental condition.
Reparative Therapy repairs nothing.
It is not a "lifestyle choice". (That one gets me upset the most I think.)
I agree with Poseidon: It is not a choice and it is not a lifestyle.
• Transsexuality is about gender, not sex. The "sex" part has to do with our bodies, not the sexual act.
• Gender identity (what gender you see yourself as) is not the same as sexual orientation (who you are attracted to). In fact, they really have very little relation to each other.
• We are born transsexuals (or probably less inflammatory: born with the body of one sex and the brain and soul of the other). It is a naturally-occurring condition, just as previously-stigmatized conditions are: left-handedness, red hair, homosexuality. (I use the word "condition" to mean how we are. I don't know another word to describe it and don't mean this as inflammatory, either.)
- Kate
Might want to mention the (steadily increasing) evidence suggesting that gender identity is in the brain, the hypothalamus to be exact as well as the "fickle-ness" of the system. As in, xx or xy is not a reliable way to tell if someone is male or female, neither is the appearance of their genitals.
Oh and I suggest he watches the Gender Puzzle documentary, it is win and good research.
This is probably the easiest thing I will do all day ! Since most Neanderthal Religious Bible pounders think all trans people think were Child Molesters, I would love to bust their bubble . Course there are many Gay people that think the same of us too. Ellen
I did not change my body from male to female so I can now have sex with men and call myself "straight".
Transmen are not "just in it for the male privilege"
Pregnant transmen are not women.
Transmen are not "lesbians."
my biggest peev... "Oh, your GAY!!!"
it doesn't automatically make me gay, damn it!
bi maybe, ::)
for FTM's..
- Getting SRS doesnt mean you will just get a penis, and get rid of the vagina, so many people thing that transguys get fully functioning normal penis's, but very many of us just live with what we have, because surgery isnt too good.
-Just because I have a female body doesnt give you the right to call me 'she'... this girl at school says she cant call me he, because I'm NOT a he.
- Just because I'm not on hormones, doesnt mean that I'm "not really a guy YET"
It isn't about sex. It's about fulfillment.
We are all different, and do not all have the exact same goals.
When I asked for hormones, my doctor said I have a right to be happy. After about six months I reminded him of his statement and told him:
"It isn't about being happy - it's about being whole."
- Kate
Another misconception people have is that we go into the hospital one day for "the surgery", and presto chango, the next day we come out the other gender. ::) Unfortunately, I believe that is the misconception that a lot of laws requiring surgery for documentation changes are based on. The people making these laws don't realize that it is a very long process, and that they are subjecting people to years of potential harassment when we live full time as one gender, but cannot get documentation to support it because we haven't had "the surgery", whatever that is.
I'm sure you can get a wholesome perspective on this from transsexuals, but perhaps you should advise your peer to investigate with every day people? It's really so simple as listening. Normal people are often full of questions upon encountering a transsexual, and often times their questions lead to their preconceptions. Inquiries such as, "so you're gay? you're a crossdresser?" and such immediately come to mind from my experiences, but nothing beats an eye witness account.
Good luck!
Quote from: Jamie-o on February 02, 2010, 09:26:16 AM
Another misconception people have is that we go into the hospital one day for "the surgery", and presto chango, the next day we come out the other gender. ::) Unfortunately, I believe that is the misconception that a lot of laws requiring surgery for documentation changes are based on. The people making these laws don't realize that it is a very long process, and that they are subjecting people to years of potential harassment when we live full time as one gender, but cannot get documentation to support it because we haven't had "the surgery", whatever that is.
Seconded. I think this is a huge misconception that the general public has. "The surgery," in the sense of an instantaneous sex change, doesn't exist; transition is a process that can take years before complete. Also: it should be up to the individual to decide when their own transition is "complete."
This is not done for "fun"!
The process of gender change is painful for either MTF's or FTM's both physically and psychologically. It is the most difficult of all human endeavors. It touches every part of our lives, everything changes. It is dangerous and causes us to be separate from others.
But not doing so can, in many cases, be fatal. To my mind, GID is a terminal illness.
Sex is between the legs, gender is between the ears.
Best of luck! I would be interested in hearing how it goes!
-Sandy
Quote from: Jamie-o on February 02, 2010, 09:26:16 AM
Another misconception people have is that we go into the hospital one day for "the surgery", and presto chango, the next day we come out the other gender. ::)
I don't think it's just the gen pop who have this misconception. I've run into it from trans people, too. ("All my troubles will be over once I have a vagina [or penis]." ::))
- Kate
Quote from: Sandy on February 02, 2010, 03:53:39 PM
Sex is between the legs, gender is between the ears.
-Sandy
Best comment yet, by a long way.
Transitioning won't solve all of a transpersons problems.
But it will solve ONE.
Here's a couple more misconceptions:
God doesn't make mistakes, so you can't be transsexual. (Actually, I really hate the idea that being transsexual is a mistake. It's a normally-occurring condition.)
It is your parents' fault. (There is no indication that being TS is either genetic or a learned behaviour. You are born with it, but that doesn't mean they will ever find a "TS gene". And it's not contagious.)
- Kate
Quote from: K8 on February 02, 2010, 07:09:24 PM
God doesn't make mistakes, so you can't be transsexual. (Actually, I really hate the idea that being transsexual is a mistake. It's a normally-occurring condition.)
- Kate
2 things come to mind, One, I don't understand people who assume they know what God does or doesn't do, and I am appalled at the use of "labels" from everyone, 99% of those that try to put labels on us misuse the terms altogether. I hate responding to a label anyway. I'm just a person who has finally discovered who she is, SO LIVE WITH IT! sorry. ::)
I remember when i tried to explain my "situation" to my local GP once then after his first reply was
"Well, why don't you just become gay instead?"......facepalm ::)
Quote from: clhere on February 02, 2010, 11:54:15 PM
I remember when i tried to explain my "situation" to my local GP once then after his first reply was
"Well, why don't you just become gay instead?"......facepalm ::)
;D :icon_hahano: :eusa_wall:
- Kate
I'd add that just because one has some typically male interests (football, video-games, sci-fi flicks), doesn't mean that person wouldn't be way more content as a woman. I run into this a lot, since I have a beard and look like Jack Black (but cuter... ha ha). The beard is a complicated thing for me... mayve I'll have to start a thread for that alone..
pet peeve?
I rarely get questioned. I consider myself "functionally, stealth", so most of those who know my "big secret" have said their piece.
But the one that bugged me most was their not understanding that i would be a gay woman after transitioning, when i could have stayed a "straight man" and "had all the women i wanted" without the trouble.
that, i think, was my biggest pet peeve.
Quote from: Miss Bev on February 03, 2010, 06:37:40 PM
pet peeve?
I rarely get questioned. I consider myself "functionally, stealth", so most of those who know my "big secret" have said their piece.
But the one that bugged me most was their not understanding that i would be a gay woman after transitioning, when i could have stayed a "straight man" and "had all the women i wanted" without the trouble.
that, i think, was my biggest pet peeve.
To be fair, that's something that I had to think about and consider the implication of when I first realised my transsexuality, so it's not surprising it's not obvious to them.
Quote from: LordKAT on January 31, 2010, 06:10:38 PMIt is not a "lifestyle choice". (That one gets me upset the most I think.)
Agreed. It's the one that exasperates me the most.
Another thing is a lot of people think the change is a superficial one, cosmetic only and that very limited. They have no idea to what extent transitioning, particularly hormone therapy, changes a person both inside and outside. Fair enough I guess; even though I did extensive research beforehand I had no idea how much hormones would change things physically, mentally, and emotionally. Couple that with the experience of living full time and most people not going through it themselves have no concept of what all transitioning entails.
Quote from: Keroppi on February 03, 2010, 06:56:21 PM
To be fair, that's something that I had to think about and consider the implication of when I first realised my transsexuality, so it's not surprising it's not obvious to them.
In my case, I knew what my gender was at a young age. I didn't have to think about it. I wished to relate emotionally and physically as female to female. No implication, no big deal.....I'm gay, that's all.
Bev
Here's another misconception that has come up in the news lately:
If you were born with a penis you are a man. Conversely, if you weren't born with a penis you are a woman.
(It never seems to be that having a vagina makes you a woman, only the lack of a penis. I suppose that makes sense because usually people who espouse this misconception see women as inferior and rightfully subjected to the will of men, i.e. penis-bearers.)
>:(
- Kate
there are alot of them here: https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,22906.0.html (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,22906.0.html)
Quote from: Chris on December 07, 2007, 09:54:05 PM
Trans men have it easy. their transition aint as hard as trans girls
I'm more trans then you
A real dude has a dick
I'm a real trans. u aint
Quote from: Chris on December 07, 2007, 10:29:24 PM
Trans men were lesbians b4. dunno. not me.
Quote from: Elincubus on January 31, 2010, 04:49:23 PM
- Not every transgendered person has known it all their life (and that doesn't make their gender identity any less valid).
This is true for me. I never made the connection until 8 months ago. I always knew there was something not right. I never felt comfortable in my role as a male (in society and the bedroom). I always felt out of place. And to be honest, I never really knew much about transsexualism. I was pretty clueless!
Quote from: K8 on February 05, 2010, 08:09:14 PM
Here's another misconception that has come up in the news lately:
If you were born with a penis you are a man. Conversely, if you weren't born with a penis you are a woman.
(It never seems to be that having a vagina makes you a woman, only the lack of a penis. I suppose that makes sense because usually people who espouse this misconception see women as inferior and rightfully subjected to the will of men, i.e. penis-bearers.)
>:(
- Kate
I think that's the Big Stick philosophy, isn't it? ;) I'm
sure that's what Teddy Roosevelt was talking about. ;D
The main misconception that irritates me is related to Bev's, and is pretty much a generalization of her gripe.
The misconception is that I care the slightest bit what any particular person thinks about what it means to "be a woman." I don't. I really don't give a damn what others might think a woman is, especially with regard to those who don't think being a lesbian is a 100% legit female identity. I have walked this earth for three decades: believe me, I know what being a woman means. And to the extent I don't, I'll ask someone. Probably someone who isn't you. You don't have to tell me what vague thing about me presentation "gives me away." I guarantee you, I already knew about that.
And another thing: It's not about passing. It's about living. Right now I don't pass 100%. It's probably closer to 50%., and lower if I hang around with you for a while. That sucks. I'm unhappy about it. But it's far more important for me to live my life than to constantly worry about particular aspects of my presentation I don't quite have down yet. When I began my transition, I made myself consider the possibility that I would never be able to pass 100%, and decide that it would still be worth it. And it is worth it. I'd love to be beautiful, stunningly supermodel-beautiful. I really would. But that's not the point. The point is to live my life as fully as I can.
These misconceptions were brought to you by a generous grant of clulessness from
My Mother
... and from ...
Viewers Like You
(okay, I was just kidding about that last part)
Quote from: Alyssa M. on February 07, 2010, 07:17:03 AM
When I began my transition, I made myself consider the possibility that I would never be able to pass 100%, and decided that it would still be worth it. And it is worth it. I'd love to be beautiful, stunningly supermodel-beautiful. I really would. But that's not the point. The point is to live my life as fully as I can.
Amen, sister.
- Kate
"Once a man always a man".... MTFs were never "men", and FTM's were never "women"
Annoying misconceptions
- transsexuality is an identity
- once a transsexual, always a transsexual
- transsexuality is all about "the clothes"
- transition "never" ends.
- transgender is the same as transsexual.