I know I posted a poll, but I do not know how many browse that section (I just actually discovered it today haha). I hope this is alright to post here as well.
I am FTM and in the process of transitioning. I am currently a senior in college as a sociology major and I am required to conduct a research project. I actually am very excited and interested in the topic. Little research has been done about homosexuals with regards to eating disorders, but there has been even less focused on transgendered individuals struggling with eating disorders. I believe we need to spread the word and knowledge that many transgendered individuals struggle greatly. Perhaps more knowledge could assist with treatment programs tailored for those that identify as trans.
My question is whether you have struggled with an eating disorder which you feel is strongly related to identifying as transgendered or not? There are multliple factors that go into the development of an eating disorder, but I would like to focus on the stress transgendered inviduals may face. For some it may be the pressures of society to look a certain way (females thin, males muscular). For others it may be an attempt to change their bodies to look more like the gender they identify as.
I will share my personal experience as an example. I have struggled with various eating disorders for many years. There are certainly other factors that contributed to the development, but being a male stuck in a female body left me feeling trapped and greatly increased the development of disordered eating. When puberty hit my body went haywire. Things were growing where they shouldn't and something started once a month. I hated my body even more. One way I could remove the traces of being female (hips, breasts, monthly) was to starve myself. It wasn't about being thin for me, but rather to become the straight, male figure I desired.
Now that I've begun to transition and I am recovering from the eating disorders I have begun to equate male = muscular. I believe this is due in part to society's expectations for men to be fit and buff and I feel I must be "built" to fit in and be perceived more as male.
I was wondering if anyone has struggled with eating disorders or simply disordered eating to change their bodies before they were able to transition and/or after to meet society's expectations? x
I appreciate any response and feedback on the topic. Even if you have not personally experienced an eating disorder, but have any opinions on the matter please feel free to share.
Thank you!
...simply disordered eating to change their bodies before they were able to transition...
I think this fits my experience best.
When I first started dealing with this, like for reallys, I lost a lot of weight. Like 60 pounds over 3-4 months, and I wasn't really that overweight to start with. I dunno if I had an eating disorder, per se, I just couldn't stand the sight of bulk anymore. I was very scientific about how many calories I could consume (and burn) and it's not like I kept eating less and less over time, I just stayed with the same routine till I was done.
Once enough people told me I looked sick (lol) I reluctantly started eating normally again and now I keep my weight in a pretty healthy zone. Prolly need to lose a bit, but I can't even say that near certain people or they will freak out.
I know for sure the inspiration for the weight loss was gender related.
Struggled with eating disorders ever since the first onset of puberty. Less weight = less curves = less female