Hi all.
I've never had therapy of any kind before, and to be honest, the idea of it both terrifies and excites me at the same time. When I was a teenager I refused to have it because I didn't want to think there was anything wrong with me, and I think that...ah...stigma...still clouds my judgment a bit today.
In other words, I've got no idea what to look for, or how to tell a good therapist from a bad one. I've been able to track down a list of local docs that deal with gender issues, and I've still got to see if my insurance will cover any of them....but beyond that, what happens when I get there? I'm afraid I'll end up with someone who's terrible, and I won't know the difference.
What are some of the traits to look for in a good therapist? Are there any kind of questions I should ask about them before I even go?
Any insight would be much appreciated!
Thanks,
~Kes
http://www.erinswen.com/TGCounselors.pdf (http://www.erinswen.com/TGCounselors.pdf)
Qualities of an Effective Counselor
In a nutshell, a good therapist of gender specialty will guide the client with acceptance and living with (their) own unique identity, and of course through other issues that tag along with gender incongruence. A good therapist should also know practitioners to refer clients to for medical services. (hormones most notably)
I agree that a therapist should be familiar providers in the area. For me it was important to have a therapist who took a more informed consent approach, rather than a strict standard of care approach. You will want to make sure, early on, that if your goal is letter for hormones or surgery, that the therapist will provide those letters and that the therapist will not play games with your letters. If it's been six months and your therapist is setting unnecessary criteria for hormones, then you may need to switch, just and example of what can happen. A therapist who is experienced with trans issues helps immensely. You also want a therapist who is a good fit for you. If the rapport is not there, then you might want to find another therapist. I felt this way with my second letter therapist, I did not like her after the first meeting, but she was upfront that she only required two appointments for a second letter. I knew right away that if I had originally chosen her for my primary letter it would not have worked very well. My primary therapist is a trans guy, totally goes by informed consent, and has just been awesome. I could not be happier.
I didn't know what I wanted when I started, so perhaps my experience doesn't apply. I only wanted to become comfortable with myself, regardless of how I did that. Gradually I realized that I could transition and then that I needed to. I've never seen a gender specialist and found the two general therapists I dealt with for my letters to be very helpful and very understanding.
That said, I think the most important thing is to deal with someone you are comfortable with. My therapy covered a lot of ground besides my GID. I tried two different ones before I settled on my long-term one. I also tried another for the second letter before going with the woman I got the letter from. If on the first or second meeting it looks like it's not going to click, start looking for another. You are doing this for you, not them.
- Kate