So it happened again today. I walked into the stall in the men's room, and was briefly taken aback when I found the seat up. Yes, intellectually I know that's what men do. But, I just haven't yet gotten to the point where that's what I expect to find in the bathroom stall. :D
So, just for fun, what little things, that you never even thought about before transition, stand out or come as a surprise to you now that you're on the other side?
People think I can't do something or not good at something or shouldn't do something because I am a girl O_o
I can't kick all asses in video games! hmpf :P AND PROGRAMMING! And a lot of other stuff!
On the bright side I am not expected to do much of physical work, know about cars, sports and other silly things I never been interested in :D
All the paper work required to change identity legally. Also the fact that Social Security always keeps a record of your past and you can't erase it. Also, I never had FFS cause I thought I didn't need it. As I get older, I wonder if that was a mistake. And, I didn't stop to think if my family could adjust to the changes. I just ASSUMED they could cause I was soooooo cool. I also assumed that I could just get another job real quick as a female because I was just so desirable. All that was a lot harder than I thought. I had my head in a bucket.
Facial hair and wind feel strange and how do you keep the crumbs out of the fur?
k... for the record I'm not transitioning (yet), but I do keep my legs shaven all the time and I've got say, it sure is chilly in the winter!! :icon_chick:
Womens jeans have useless little pockets ::)
Quote from: Jasmine.m on February 19, 2010, 08:05:03 AM
k... for the record I'm not transitioning (yet), but I do keep my legs shaven all the time and I've got say, it sure is chilly in the winter!! :icon_chick:
Never used to feel that cold during the winter, now i'm always freezing at temperatures I used to wear a Tee in. :)
Quote from: riven1 on February 19, 2010, 08:21:58 AM
Womens jeans have useless little pockets ::)
Yes!!!!
And the nicest looking shoes cause your toes to go numb, and the amount of crap you carry expands to overflow the size of your purse!
Quote from: LordKAT on February 19, 2010, 07:33:48 AM
Facial hair and wind feel strange and how do you keep the crumbs out of the fur?
Regularly comb your face...
I did.
Now I acquire crumbs on my "shelf"...
-Sandy
... there are thousands more clothing options available to women than men...
Not that I want those options though...
it's just.. "your choice of T shirt", and since I'm not into light colours, 90% of my "top pile" is "plain black Tshirt"...
Not just rubbing your eyes because they are itchy. You end up looking like Ricky Raccoon, when wearing mascara or eyeshadow.
I'm only 20 but I'm quite looking forward to my hair going grey. I was in a shop the other day and spotted the "Just for Men" and I thought to myself why bother? Silver Foxes look awsome!
Quote from: Greg on February 19, 2010, 12:12:16 PM
I'm only 20 but I'm quite looking forward to my hair going grey. I was in a shop the other day and spotted the "Just for Men" and I thought to myself why bother? Silver Foxes look awsome!
Well prepare to buy Rogaine. A lot of trans men go bald before they go grey...
Though that can be distinguished as well. Think Jean Luk Pacard.
-Sandy
Quote from: Sandy on February 19, 2010, 01:02:23 PM
Well prepare to buy Rogaine. A lot of trans men go bald before they go grey...
Though that can be distinguished as well. Think Jean Luk Pacard.
-Sandy
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO my hair, my beautiful hair! :laugh:
Quote from: Greg on February 19, 2010, 01:25:34 PM
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO my hair, my beautiful hair! :laugh:
(https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php?action=dlattach;attach=9409;type=avatar)
Yeah, it was kind of cute...
-Sandy(count the hairs in your brush lately?)
Better to be bald than F!!
Jay
PS If you're male, that is!!
Quote from: Greg on February 19, 2010, 12:12:16 PM
I'm only 20 but I'm quite looking forward to my hair going grey. I was in a shop the other day and spotted the "Just for Men" and I thought to myself why bother? Silver Foxes look awsome!
I used to feel that I had earned my grey hairs (they're just starting to be noticeable). But now...well, I transitioned so late that I'm looking in the mirror and thinking, "No, I can't be grey...I'm just a BOY!!!"
Yeah. Never saw that coming.
Post Merge: February 19, 2010, 04:27:34 PM
P.S. Topical Rogaine is toxic to cats. So if your cat likes you to hunker down on the floor so he can strop your head, do NOT buy topical Rogaine. Get the pills.
I can't really think of anything, but the one thing that did make me giggle was when a friend showed me her surgical consent form and one of the items said, and I quote "I understand that after the surgery I will not be able to void my bladder in the standing position, but will have to sit."
Like - erm - do you really think someone would be going through this process and not be aware that girls don't have the handy hose attachment? I nearly fell off my chair when I read that! :laugh:
But the sad part is that I gather from a friend who knows about these things that a few patients don't actually know what the anatomical implications are... :o
Quote from: rejennyrated on February 20, 2010, 11:32:16 AM
But the sad part is that I gather from a friend who knows about these things that a few patients don't actually know what the anatomical implications are... :o
Then how did they ever get this far?
The anatomical implications include being able to recreate the restaurant scene in the "Story of O"
On the highway, miles from nowhere, lots of cars, not a restroom for miles, and have to PEE! This is awkward ....... :o
Post Merge: February 21, 2010, 07:26:41 AM
Toilet paper is NOT optional!
Ok. Try to keep napkins (or toilet paper, but napkins have many uses) in your glove box at all times.
You pull over on the shoulder. Get out of the car - be sure to bring your keys with you. You have two options: (a) try to pull over in an area with bushes or trees, and go hide behind one, or (b) just go right by the car, using the doors as shields. If you don't have both a front and a back door but need to use option b, you'll want to pull over on a curve in the road so that the body of the car blocks the view from one direction and the door blocks it from the other.
If you travel wearing pants, you'll want to practice doing a squat with your feet spread very very wide so that you don't get any splash on the ankles of your pants. Master the art of doing this without pulling the pants much past your knees (else you'll get splash on the upper part). You'll want to practice this maneuver before you actually have to use it.
Only at month 4 of transition but I have a few......
The cute'r the jeans the more useless the pockets in the jeans.
I am surprised at how many people seem to have gender rules they think I should have.
Womens clothing sizes are lies! Why can't they just develope industry standards for sizes?
I think the biggest change that was most welcome and surprizing was the quality and intinsity of my orgasm changing drasticly. (can you say OMFG!)
also I didn't see that I had male privlage until the people around me started revoking my man card....lol
ohh! my mom tells me that as a girl, my room should be always clean and tidy.
It's funny, she should see my girl friends rooms :D
Intellectually I knew that guys sometimes open doors for older women and do other things like that. (At least they do around here. :)) But sometimes it still surprises me - and always pleases me.
I had a mustache for 41 years. I find I still make the move to pull on it now and then. :(
I haven't stood to pee for at least 20 years. Don't wait until you can't to start practicing. (Besides, peeing while standing is gross. :icon_blah:) You're right, Kyril - the car door bit works well. It's a little more difficult when traveling by motorcycle but can be done. ;)
- Kate
I never was attracted to hairy chests before. Never thought I would be. Now I'm definitely interested.
Post Merge: February 21, 2010, 11:33:25 PM
Quote from: K8 on February 21, 2010, 03:56:28 PM
I had a mustache for 41 years. I find I still make the move to pull on it now and then.
This fairly boggles my mind, Kate.
Quote from: Jasmine.m on February 19, 2010, 08:05:03 AM
k... for the record I'm not transitioning (yet), but I do keep my legs shaven all the time and I've got say, it sure is chilly in the winter!! :icon_chick:
Two words: Thigh socks :).
The defining memory of my transition is the moment I walked out my front door in a skirt for the first time in my life. I felt so vulnerable, so naked - I don't think there was even anyone around, but that didn't matter. I was paranoid that my skirts would blow up in my face, and everyone would see what was underneath. I knew I had crossed the line, and that there was no way of going back. I could not stuff back into the box what I had let out of my own free will. It was huge - terrifying and liberating at the same time.
Now, I don't even notice things like that. It's amazing how much we adapt.
Something that has caught my attention lately is how much differently I used to move my body. I even sat on the toilet differently.
Basically, always tucking and wearing a bra these days has me moving my body completely differently. And the all important kneel down instead of bend over... so your cleavage or ass don't go flying out. Not that I have to worry about the cleavage part.
I really know what you mean, Autumn. The way I move now is so natural that it makes it hard to believe I ever passed as a man. But I did. I was so constrained in my movements that it seems like *he* must have been a different person.
I've gotten a number of comments from friends who have watched my transition that I have a definite wiggle when I walk. I've lived a number of places where that would have gotten me badly beaten when presenting male. It's nice to let it loose. :)
- Kate
PS Thanks Arch. *blush*
Quote from: K8 on February 22, 2010, 08:18:03 AM
PS Thanks Arch. *blush*
Well, you're welcome. Here's a funny. For a moment there, I was getting my wires crossed. I was thinking, "Geez, Kate, why did you put up with that incipient mustache for FORTY YEARS??!! That's why God invented waxing and electrolysis and all of that." And then I remembered. Not an incipient mustache but a real mustache.
It's still an alien concept to me, that you could ever live as a man or be read as a man. You are KATE. End of story.
I never used to understand how men could stand to have things in their back pockets. Since wearing mens jeans, I've realised that unlike womens jeans, the pockets aren't completely bloody useless
I've also realised that a lot of men will only be helpful/nice/whatever to somebody they hope they can eventually have sex with ;D I'm a crapload more invisible since presenting male.
Yeah, one thing I've learned since transitioning is that "would you like help with that" is often code for "I would like to screw you" and/or "I am a strong man, and you are a weak woman. Look at my strong and manly muscles! I will protect you!"
A few nights ago, I had some random guy on the street offer to help me with my rolly-bag, which I was toting up the hill with no trouble whatsoever. It was especially insulting because he was shorter than I by 2/3rds of a foot at least. A bit like some random guy asking if you can handle carrying your backpack on those weak, feminine shoulders of yours. I'm afraid I snapped at the fellow rather badly.
Quote from: Jeatyn on February 23, 2010, 04:11:31 AM
I've also realised that a lot of men will only be helpful/nice/whatever to somebody they hope they can eventually have sex with ;D I'm a crapload more invisible since presenting male.
Interesting. I was totally invisible before; now I have clerks in stores tripping over themselves to help me.
The interesting thing for me (besides that one) is how cool body hair feels against clothes. :D
Jay
Quote from: sneakersjay on February 23, 2010, 05:46:23 AM
The interesting thing for me (besides that one) is how cool body hair feels against clothes. :D
Jay
Completely opposite for me: I had no idea how lovely and normal clothes felt against hairless skin. XD
Before I ever removed any body hair, I preferred larger sized clothing, because I couldn't stand the way fitted clothing felt on me. Medium tops technically "fit" me, but I would opt for large to avoid the sensation. I mean, it would drive me crazy; I'd feel clamped. When I would wear medium tees, I'd reflexively retract my chest and would often spend the day yanking and tugging the shirt away from me. (The image of a cat with bags on its feet comes to mind. ::) )
One day at work, though, long after I started routinely shaving my chest, the realization that I was wearing a medium tee completely unfazed me hit me. (My other large work tees were dirty.) When I got home, I took it off to confirm that it was indeed medium. I thought "Well, maybe this one's stretched and worn." I grabbed a newer medium tee out of my closet to compare and found it had indeed maintained it's shape. As I see it, the hair had been the main problem the whole time.
Now the only discomfort I feel wearing tighter clothing involves the 10 pounds or so I need to lose. :laugh:
This morning a woman I didn't know admired my scarf and asked where I got it. This isn't the first time something like this has happened, but it is always a pleasure. For some reason I never realized that women did this.
It's amazing what you discover when you finally open yourself to the world around you. ;D
- Kate
Quote from: xsocialworker on February 20, 2010, 03:40:16 PM
The anatomical implications include being able to recreate the restaurant scene in the "Story of O"
oh......MY!
::fans herself::
Quote from: K8 on February 25, 2010, 02:35:39 PM
This morning a woman I didn't know admired my scarf and asked where I got it. This isn't the first time something like this has happened, but it is always a pleasure. For some reason I never realized that women did this.
It's amazing what you discover when you finally open yourself to the world around you. ;D
- Kate
This cute girl who sits behind me in economics had on these amazing ankle boots yesterday - similar to the cheap style you find pretty easily, but better looking with a higher heel. I had to ask her where she got them. She said they were handmedowns, and she thought they were around 7 years old. She wore them because they're comfortable enough to wear for 12 hours.
My jaw hit the floor at that.
Nine West. O.o
Quotewhat little things, that you never even thought about before transition, stand out or come as a surprise to you now that you're on the other side?
Actually FEELING female. It was impossible for me to comprehend that so I never gave it much of a thought past that. It doesn't happen a lot but there are times now when I actually feel female.
Another thing I never thought about before transitioning was transitioning. Never believed I would do it.
And then there's the finishing things thing. I was notorious for starting things then walking away. I used to think it was because I got bored. Now I know it was the swarm of bees I kept swatting away that made everything so difficult. (Yeah, the bees are gone now! :icon_drunk:)
Quote from: K8 on February 25, 2010, 02:35:39 PM
This morning a woman I didn't know admired my scarf and asked where I got it. This isn't the first time something like this has happened, but it is always a pleasure. For some reason I never realized that women did this.
It's amazing what you discover when you finally open yourself to the world around you. ;D
- Kate
Its a thing guys never do, only last week when I went to Fiancé sister's birthday I decided to make an effort and wore a purple lace dress with matching purse and a cute pair of suede heels, she absolutely loved my dress and wants to borrow my heels, its nice just to praise different fashion style, women do it all the time, its a girl thing, I like it and its nice.
p
I suppose I will have to spill my guts on this one as well. I have been doing a lot of this lately and I have gone berserk on Susan's today adding my thoughts on various subject matters today. As Northern Jane said to me in a post "Don't disappear for we are the historians (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,70287.msg493525.html#msg493525)" (I actually thought for awhile it read despair).
One of the things I did not think about was giving up the ability to have a pee anytime, anywhere, instantly. After the change I have to think carefully where I'm going to do it. In other words, I have to be more discrete and private on where and when I can do it. This goes with the territory of being a female. Yes, I did sit down to go to wee before I changed (actually this was one of the few things my mum had picked up on and asked me why? I replied its night time and I do not have to think about it, ;D)
Especially when one is on the highway miles away from the nearest town or gas station. I do carry a toilet roll and some wipes, because I live and work in the country and traveling long distances is part and parcel of my life at the moment.
Another one, which bugs me a little is when men open doors or wait for me to enter before they enter behind me (maybe they want to look at my backside). I say, "you do not have to do this", as we live in a more equal society today than before, they say "no go ahead, this was the way I was brought up".
So with grace, I give them my sincerest thanks and in my mind I say to myself "I really appreciate and cherish the moment of being treated as female should be treated". In other words I love the moment.
Kind regards
Sarah B
Quote from: Jeatyn on February 23, 2010, 04:11:31 AM
I never used to understand how men could stand to have things in their back pockets. Since wearing mens jeans, I've realised that unlike womens jeans, the pockets aren't completely bloody useless
That's funny, I could never stand having things in my back pockets when I wore men's jeans. Never used a wallet either because they were all too big to fit comfortably in pockets, front or back.
Be very careful when wearing a wraparound sarong that only ties at the neck on a windy day! :icon_redface:
Jeatyn said
I've also realised that a lot of men will only be helpful/nice/whatever to somebody they hope they can eventually have sex with I'm a crapload more invisible since presenting male.
When I use to go to Office works as a guy I could stand in the middle of the store looking at anything and would never get any help. >:(
I now go in and have guys following me around asking if they can help me :laugh:
Fun things, going lingere shopping and seeing guys with their girl friends totally petrified. I'm a guy I shouldn't be here. written all over their faces.
Really nice things: I had a pedicure today (my first). Absolutely awesome. Sitting there and having my feet soaked and nails trimmed and polished and not feeling out of place. Total girly time.
Little things I hated about being male bodied: Hair growing in your nose and ears. YUK kept thinking I was a hobbit. And there is nothing worse than a bad hobbit :laugh:
Cindy
Quote from: CindyJames on February 27, 2010, 02:07:35 AM
Fun things, going lingere shopping and seeing guys with their girl friends totally petrified. I'm a guy I shouldn't be here. written all over their faces.
And there is nothing worse than a bad hobbit :laugh:
Cindy
As to the lingerie dept, I always felt out of place there. That might be why I never wore underthings that someone else (like mom) didn't buy for me if they came from there. It seemed actually scary and embarrassing.
As to Hobbits, Cindy is a bad hobbit? >:-) That leaves things to the imagination. ;D
I find myself playing with the 'stache hair that keeps getting in the corner of my mouth. I keep trying to brush it off like its a fly away hair or a lost eyelash or something only to find out its attached. (ouch) Do you ever get used to that? I also had fun getting my car fixed and not looked at like I was valley girl dumb or something. On the other hand, the cute act don't work so well anymore.
Quote from: FairyGirl on February 26, 2010, 06:51:55 PM
Be very careful when wearing a wraparound sarong that only ties at the neck on a windy day! :icon_redface:
Oh no! ;D
How does that old Tom Lehrer song go? "Exposing for all of the world to see, Just what it is that endears her to me."
Quote from: LordKAT on February 27, 2010, 05:35:15 AM
On the other hand, the cute act don't work so well anymore.
Welcome to Guy World, dear. ;D
- Kate
Quote from: LordKAT on February 27, 2010, 05:35:15 AM
On the other hand, the cute act don't work so well anymore.
Well, that depends ... it is possible to be self-effacing, charming and faintly helpless (like a girl, in other words!) and you'd be amazed how many female shop assistants, waitresses, cabin crew, hotel receptionists are only too happy to be of assistance ... It does help, however, if you have a faintly posh, bumbling, Hugh Grant-style British accent ... you can have mine, if you like, I've got no further use for it ...
... but never, EVER try it on a guy!! He won't be impressed :)
Quote from: riven1 on February 19, 2010, 08:21:58 AM
Womens jeans have useless little pockets ::)
And men's jeans have great, cavernous black holes that you could hide a small child in. :D Some of those things are as bad as purses for trying to find your car keys in!
Quote from: Jamie-o on March 05, 2010, 05:37:41 PM
And men's jeans have great, cavernous black holes that you could hide a small child in. :D Some of those things are as bad as purses for trying to find your car keys in!
One of my buddies was searching his pocket for a ticket of some sort in one of his pockets. He found a shoe.
Quote from: SilverFang on March 05, 2010, 06:34:35 PM
One of my buddies was searching his pocket for a ticket of some sort in one of his pockets. He found a shoe.
Ah, but how big was the shoe? :laugh:
I refuse to carry what can't fit in a pocket and so can never have enough pockets.
Quote from: Jamie-o on February 19, 2010, 04:42:55 AM
So, just for fun, what little things, that you never even thought about before transition, stand out or come as a surprise to you now that you're on the other side?
I didn't realize I would feel the deep down pleasure I get when I go to the military base and the gate guard says: "Have a nice day, Chief *lastname* ma'am" and then salutes. I just love it. ;D
- Kate
Quote from: K8 on March 09, 2010, 06:39:16 PM
I didn't realize I would feel the deep down pleasure I get when I go to the military base and the gate guard says: "Have a nice day, Chief *lastname* ma'am" and then salutes. I just love it. ;D
- Kate
I can imagine that would feel pretty sweet. :)
Quote from: Sarah B on February 26, 2010, 06:43:56 PM
Another one, which bugs me a little is when men open doors or wait for me to enter before they enter behind me (maybe they want to look at my backside). I say, "you do not have to do this", as we live in a more equal society today than before, they say "no go ahead, this was the way I was brought up".
So with grace, I give them my sincerest thanks and in my mind I say to myself "I really appreciate and cherish the moment of being treated as female should be treated". In other words I love the moment.
In therory we are all surpose to be equal, but in the real world we are not, men and women are treated different, sometimes it works to advantage, yes I too cherish the moment of being treated as female should be treated.
There is a gas station near where I live that employs young guys to fill up cars with gas, thing is they only do your fill if your a woman, men fill their own cars, its a nice touch, a lady is not surpose to smell of gas lol
Its feminine moments like that I cherish, just being excepted and respected as a woman
p
Quotebeing treated as female should
This is why it can never be equal only similar.
I never seriously thought about bottom surgery before transition.
I have a great answer for this question that I was just thinking of yesterday...but I can't remember what it was.
*sigh*
In the meantime I'll follow up with an amen on something alluded to earlier - it totally takes me aback when another girl compliments me on my earrings or hair or whatever. I lose my ability to form a coherent response.
I really need to find the knack of graciously accepting a compliment.
Strip clubs, for women.
OH MY GOD.
SAVE A HORSE, RIDE A COWBOY. :icon_bong: :icon_censored: :icon_google:
I actually really like the idea of strip clubs oriented towards women of all sexualities. It seems to me that we're just starting to get to a point where an audience might form for that sort of thing.
Quote from: pretty pauline on February 26, 2010, 06:24:31 PM
Its a thing guys never do, only last week when I went to Fiancé sister's birthday I decided to make an effort and wore a purple lace dress with matching purse and a cute pair of suede heels, she absolutely loved my dress and wants to borrow my heels, its nice just to praise different fashion style, women do it all the time, its a girl thing, I like it and its nice.
p
Really? ??? I get complimented by guys on my clothes all the time. Yes, even ones who don't know I'm "really" a girl. Guess I must be a really snazzy dresser. ;)
I'm also finding that guys chat in the bathroom a lot more than I was led to believe.
Another thing I've discovered that I'd never thought about before - It
hurts when you get your beard snagged in your jacket zipper! :icon_yikes:
Quote from: SilverFang on March 05, 2010, 06:34:35 PM
One of my buddies was searching his pocket for a ticket of some sort in one of his pockets. He found a shoe.
Was it a small child's shoe, or was he totally oblivious to a rather large item in his pocket
How? just how do you manage that?
I admit to finding weird things in my pockets, but my shoes don't fit, not that i've tried that.
I was thinking a flip-flop or something similarly flat would fit.
I've seen a whole 12 pack in a pair of cargo pants. Why not a sneaker?
Quote from: Laura Hope on March 14, 2010, 03:03:12 AM
In the meantime I'll follow up with an amen on something alluded to earlier - it totally takes me aback when another girl compliments me on my earrings or hair or whatever. I lose my ability to form a coherent response.
I really need to find the knack of graciously accepting a compliment.
I love when that happens, especially when I'm feeling like I still need lots of work to look halfway decent. I'm still surprised when it happens.
I show my surprise and appreciation and say: "Why
thank you. How kind of you." (Or sweet of you or something.)
Get used to Laura. I'm sure you'll get lots more. :)
- Kate
not being able to rub your eyes when your tire.
Quote from: Robin_p on March 14, 2010, 05:20:23 PM
not being able to rub your eyes when your tire.
You mean raccoon eyes aren't in style?
I see that point tho it never bothered me personally. Now about that mustache getting in my mouth.... any one got some stache wax?
Quote from: Sarah B on February 26, 2010, 06:43:56 PM
One of the things I did not think about was giving up the ability to have a pee anytime, anywhere, instantly. After the change I have to think carefully where I'm going to do it. In other words, I have to be more discrete and private on where and when I can do it.
Boy, I'll agree with you there. As both a runner, biker and golfer, I often wish I could find discrete tree to go behind. It does definitely take more planning these days!
Quote from: juliekins on March 14, 2010, 08:48:36 PM
Boy, I'll agree with you there. As both a runner, biker and golfer, I often wish I could find discrete tree to go behind. It does definitely take more planning these days!
Reminds me of the jan and jon trees we had when camping. I think I was a kid once when that happened.
Something I've learned: not all men's pockets are huge. There's this pair of bootcut jeans I'm wearing which I suspect is meant to be a tight fit, but the pockets are just as useless as those on women's jeans. That is, of course, unless the jeans are a tad small - they must be a small 30" in that case, 'cause other trousers in that size give me nice, useful pockets.
people staring at certain places.. (breasts, hips) can be akward O_o
I don't wear something which shoes the breasts usually they are just covered completely (but still have the shape at the shirt)
I don't think there was something I really didn't think about or expect, well some little things but so far nothing shocking I guess.
I do find that I need to fight for myself a bit more in terms of equality O_o like, people sometimes just want me to stand aside and let them do things cause they are man and I am clueless, sometimes it's funny, sometimes it's just annoying because I am far from an idiot.
I also found that jobs are REALLY NOT EQUAL, men do get benefits and better jobs and jobs easier usually. People like to hire and promote men more than women.
Oh but at university more random people will try to talk to me or ask for help which is nice because I also like the social stuff I never got the same and I like to help :)
Umm.. also had to turn off friendship offer and stuff which feels kinda hard to do that sometimes because it hurts someone.. even if I am far from interested and maybe a bit repelled. O_o
Not sure if it is psychological, HRT induced or whatever.. but I just *NEED* my boyfriend sometimes in a way which I cannot explain.
If there was one thing I didn't completely expect it is HRT changing some of my behaviour and emotions and feelings..
How I never really wanted a hug and thought it's a bit embarrassing and how it became a need sometimes and I just need someone there for me.. sometimes it makes me tempted around guys because I am in a long distance relationship and it's hard, especially as a lot of the emotions just come without my bf being around (he is in the UK I am.. not), so suddenly dealing with this alone.
Well related to my bf being away is I love falling asleep with my bf on the phone :3 just feels so much comfortable.
Just typing this message makes m so curious what's estrogen effect on behaviour, emotions and thinking exactly.
Oh, I also found that now after surgery and passing well and everything the best thing is to stop thinking about gender at all.. just be normal like anyone else. It's a bit hard but I think it's so much more rewarding. feeling normal :)
Yeah, I hadn't really thought about guys would be checkin' me out as much as they do
It also kinda surprised me to have guys chatting me up, opening doors for me, cat calling and wolf whistling and looking all goo goo or puppy eyed... LOL
I also didn't expect the realization of how funny guys are to hit me in a new and different perspective or that I could find them attractive
Quote from: Virginia Marie on March 15, 2010, 06:11:52 PM
Yeah, I hadn't really thought about guys would be checkin' me out as much as they do
It also kinda surprised me to have guys chatting me up, opening doors for me, cat calling and wolf whistling and looking all goo goo or puppy eyed... LOL
I remember discussing this with my Mother after my transition was complete 25years ago, it was different, guys checkin me out, particularly walking pass construction sites I got a lot of wolf whistling from construction workers and cat calling ''hi babe how about a date'' it was a little scary, but my Mother reassured me, Im now a girl, just get use to guys and above all, enjoy the attention, over time I got use to this new male attention from guys.
I certainly never thought about it before transition, sometime this year I'II probably marry my current Boyfriend, certainly never thought I marry a man ether, but then was then, now is now.
p
Quote from: pretty pauline on March 15, 2010, 07:05:34 PM
I remember discussing this with my Mother after my transition was complete 25years ago, it was different, guys checkin me out, particularly walking pass construction sites I got a lot of wolf whistling from construction workers and cat calling ''hi babe how about a date'' it was a little scary, but my Mother reassured me, Im now a girl, just get use to guys and above all, enjoy the attention, over time I got use to this new male attention from guys.
I certainly never thought about it before transition, sometime this year I'II probably marry my current Boyfriend, certainly never thought I marry a man ether, but then was then, now is now.
p
what worries me is that if/when that happens, will it be because they sincerly find me attractive? or because they clocked me and are mocking me?
I've only been come on to once where I was absolutely sure he was sincere and....I've never felt anything quite like that.
Quote
I usually like being looked at but sometimes I'll be talking to someone at work and I'll be thinking while talking ...no, no don't look (don't do it!), and naturally the next thing that happens, their eyes seem to can't help it and down they go. Yes, it is awkward at times. It reminds me I'm no longer just a talking head.
Am I a complete bimbo that I HOPE the day comes when guys can't keep their eyes off my breasts?
Quote from: Laura Hope on March 15, 2010, 11:44:15 PM
Am I a complete bimbo that I HOPE the day comes when guys can't keep their eyes off my breasts?
nope, some of my friends like that too, usually the really young ones. But other their age hate it so it's a matter of maturity I guess, you're still young as a girl
Quote from: Myself on March 16, 2010, 01:10:18 AM
nope, some of my friends like that too, usually the really young ones. But other their age hate it so it's a matter of maturity I guess, you're still young as a girl
I've always hated it...but then, I was never a real girl.
It is rather disconcerting having a guy talk to your boobs ::) Reminds me of an episode of Roseanne where she bares her chest and asks the guy "What colour are my eyes?" ..... he couldn't tell her! LOL!
I always enjoyed the cat calls and fuss at a construction site and, being a natural flirt, I always had trouble stifling the smile....
It is a whole different story when some guy starts getting pushy and you fear for your safety.
When I was first doing electrolysis, I felt awful walking around with whiskers the day before (waiting for them to get long enough). I told my ex-wife I always made sure to do my eyes that day. She said: "Yep. Make them look up or look down." :)
- Kate
Quote from: Laura Hope on March 15, 2010, 11:44:15 PM
what worries me is that if/when that happens, will it be because they sincerly find me attractive? or because they clocked me and are mocking me?
You'll know when that happens Laura, when your complete guys will find you attractive, it was all new to me ''male attention'' I use to flirt in a vulnerable way, guys checkin me out, looking at my boobs and hips, its nice, checkin out my femininity.
Quote from: Northern Jane on March 16, 2010, 04:07:05 AM
It is rather disconcerting having a guy talk to your boobs ::) Reminds me of an episode of Roseanne where she bares her chest and asks the guy "What colour are my eyes?" ..... he couldn't tell her! LOL!
I always enjoyed the cat calls and fuss at a construction site and, being a natural flirt, I always had trouble stifling the smile....
I always enjoy the fuss Jane I create by just walking pass a construction site, they are working so hard, messy dirty and sweaty, then they see a WOMAN, its nice to flirt and receive the complements, ''hi chick you'v got nice pins'' some comments can be a little rude & crude, but harmless, just forgetting themselfs in the presence of a woman, guys do forget themselfs, all silly macho talk, trying to impress each other, you see it different as a woman, I love the attention and the fuss, then Im gone and its back to work for the poor guys lol
p
Quote from: Northern Jane on March 16, 2010, 04:07:05 AM
It is rather disconcerting having a guy talk to your boobs ::)
LOL... Guys do tend to do that ::)
What I'm worried about is if the boobs start answering >:-)
What I'm worried about is if the boobs start answering
Oh god that would be horrible. Guys would actually have to start listening to women.
Here's something tricky (and stunning!)....
I had been assuming my crew generally had read me and was aware that I was....not your ordinary girl.
So anyway, my wife's nephew shot himself tonight and while on our way to the hospital one of the girls in the crew called me with a job question. and I told her in passing I'd probably be off a considerable part of the rest of the week because of this and she asked "Was it on your side or your husbands?"
!!!!!!!!!!!!!
First, I was giddy at the idea I might have passed so well for weeks at a time (though I also considered later that it might just have been her way of really being super accepting by not being the one to use the word "wife") but then it struck me - if I'm not being open about my status with people (even when I know they know or assume they must have figured it out) how do I describe who died?
I've already slipped once or twice and mentioned my wife in front of others - and one of those I've slipped in front of has visited my home so I know she knows - but the point remains, whether it's this situation or some other: when dealing with a person for whom the agreed upon assumption is that I'm an "ordinary" woman, how do I speak of anything that I have to describe as "my wife's..."
Somehow, "My spouse's nephew" just won't do.
Just be a lesbian woman then?
And people generally aren't "accepting" if they don't know, cause then there is nothing to accept. She most likely didn't see anything unusual
Well, for things that relate more to her family than to her (like this) you could use a dodge like saying "Oh, it was my brother-in-law's kid," which actually sounds like you're being more specific, while avoiding the potentially-awkward part.
But if you have to actually talk about your wife, you're kind of stuck - you're in a position similar to that of a lot of gay and lesbian professionals, but with an added twist. If you're willing to be seen/out yourself as lesbian and if your wife doesn't feel offended by the word, you could call her your "partner," which has the bonus of diverting your listener's potential prurient interests from your gender to your sexuality.
I've used "partner once or twice when she wasn't around - she would most assuredly take grievous offense to any phrasing which implied she was lesbian.
I hadn't thought of "brother in law" before though....I did dodge it tonight by saying, when she asked, "it was an in law" though.
My blunders were both an instance when someone mentioned something and before I thought I said something like "my wife's family" or whatever.
And I had one other narrow escape when one of my crew was working near my mother in law's home and I was telling him about a closed road.
He said "how do you know that area?'
and I replied "I've got, uh, people up around there"
VERY close to saying "my wife's family"
The expression of: my partner, is quite accepted here. Many people keep their second name when married, and of course many people now don't formally marry. I think it is now on some government forms as in: Partners name and address etc, they then have some stupid comment like relationship to partner ::)
Cindy
I was once having a lunch chat with a woman at work, who didn't know of my past, and in a discussion about Christmases past, I offhandedly mentioned that I got Lego blocks one year.
"Your parents bought you Lego blocks? I thought it would have been Barbie's!" I could have bitten my tongue off. I quickly countered that I had some Barbie dolls (I wish) but I played with my brothers blocks so much that they gave me my own. And that is probably what led me to a life of being a geek. I really did not want to turn the conversation into a discussion about me. We later had that conversation.
She was incredulous that I was not given stereotypical gifts when I was a little girl.
I did not think that my past could so easily out me. And I was again reminded why I did not go stealth.
-Sandy
why would it out you?
Just say you loved lego. A lot of my girl friends loved legos O_o
She didn't "out" you, she just found it a bit unusual, most likely because you're probably acting very girly and thought you always been that way and lego is a bit out of the equation, not improbable though.
The things people here are worried about are just ridiculous sometimes.. you are not a spy or an actor/actress remember that! be who you are and that's it.
Quote from: Myself on March 17, 2010, 06:53:28 AM
why would it out you?
Just say you loved lego. A lot of my girl friends loved legos O_o
She didn't "out" you, she just found it a bit unusual, most likely because you're probably acting very girly and thought you always been that way and lego is a bit out of the equation, not improbable though.
The things people here are worried about are just ridiculous sometimes.. you are not a spy or an actor/actress remember that! be who you are and that's it.
As I mentioned, I did not want to take that particular opportunity to take the discussion in a totally different direction. We did have that discussion a bit later.
Yes, I was completely myself, I gave up acting when I transitioned. She and I are of the same age and when we where children, "boys got trucks and girls got dolls". She was a little taken aback by my getting a typically boy gift.
-Sandy(I still play with legos sometimes)
well that's her problem, you don't need to excuse it or lie.
You liked and still like legos, so your parents bought you some, so what?
Why should it worry you or make you think you "outed" yourself is what I don't get you can proudly be a woman who plays lego, just like many other women and your parents did the best for you buying things you like and not just stereotypical things.
When I was really little, I can remember myself playing with cows, with legos, with soldiers, with dolls and even a bit with cars!
I also have memories of boy friends and girl friends playing all those mixed things with me, I also have memories of people being like "that's for girls!".. I actually remember less "that's for boys!" selective memory or just more acceptance of variety on girls side? can't know I guess.
I won't be afraid to say I did karate when I might even like to go to martial arts again, actually, I found quite a bit of girls liking the idea but some just didn't find themselves participating in it.
Don't be so afraid.. You haven't done this to be the reality of the streotypical girl, you have done this to become the whole you.
Some gender boundaries are just imaginary while others are more real, you'll feel much better if you don't stress yourself over it.
P.S. I have a friend who plays with legos, does martial arts and plays computer games all day, she's not embarrassed of it and doesn't think it makes her any less of a girl.
I think the toys are an age thing. When I was little - back in the Dark Ages - I played with boy toys because I was a boy. Barabies didn't exist, nor did Ken dolls. I don't think Legos did either. At church they had a wonderful playroom, and both girls and boys played with the wooden blocks.
I did have a family of Teddy bears. (For some reason they were OK.) I learned to sew so that I could make clothes for them.
Back to Laura's theme: Our society doesn't have a structure for people like us. I've had a few difficult conversations, trying to talk about my partner's death or my daughter's biological mother. Sometimes I just edit out my wife altogether, and sometimes I refer to her as my husband. (She's dead so can't object at this point.)
Still, when I had a long talk with my ex-wife (daughter's other mother), she asked how she should refer to me. I suggested partner, but she didn't like that. We really didn't come up with a solution.
I've just had a long correspondence with my daughter. She accepts that I am a woman and in a sense always have been, but she misses her father. I again (and again and again) assured her I will always be her father. That set up some dissonance in me that I'm just recovering from.
Being trans can be very confusing. :-\
- Kate
It's definitely an age thing. We under-30s don't necessarily always appreciate how different (i.e. more androgynous) our childhoods typically were than our parents' and grandparents', or how much thought and effort on our parents' part went in to making that change.
Quote from: kyril on March 17, 2010, 08:35:47 AM
It's definitely an age thing. We under-30s don't necessarily always appreciate how different (i.e. more androgynous) our childhoods typically were than our parents' and grandparents', or how much thought and effort on our parents' part went in to making that change.
Agreed, I lucked out growing up I think. Moved around a little but somehow always ended up living next door to a girl my age :D Hopefully a good number of years down the line when this comes up I'll be able to pass my childhood off well enough :laugh:
"Things that you never thought about before transition"
Even though I knew it was out there I never really thought a lot about it. Then I watched "Her name was Steven" and it sunk in something fierce.
Legal discrimination.
I live in Philadelphia where there are laws to protect Gender Identity and Expression. There are also policies in place where I work at. But now I realize that there is only a small proportion of 'free country' left in the states for me now. I can't simply decide to move somewhere and go. I must research the laws to see if I can be legally discriminated against.
Right now I am fairly depressed about this and I feel I am screaming at the top of my lungs but nobody hears me.
Quote from: Dana Lane on March 17, 2010, 02:17:06 PM
"Legal discrimination."
I fear this will be an all too sobering reality here in East Tennessee.
One thing I didn't give much thought to before transitioning was clothes
Same here... The various terms for various clothes and shoes and the reasoning behind it still baffle me from time to time ... LOL
Yeah, I try to avoid most "women's" clothes. They're sized oddly, usually don't fit me right, and leave me looking like a dweebnik anyway. The most "womanly" clothing I wear is heavy goth stuff - big, layered skirts and shirts with long cuffs and ruffles.
Another thing I never even considered:
I now understand and am moved by love songs. Always before they were just nice songs, but now they can move me to tears. :-\
- Kate
Quote from: K8 on March 27, 2010, 02:23:48 PM
Another thing I never even considered:
I now understand and am moved by love songs. Always before they were just nice songs, but now they can move me to tears. :-\
- Kate
See I want that. I want that as badly as I want breasts.