today i told my sister that i am an androgyne. she was totaly shocked, because she did not understand what this means, so i tried to explain it to her and she calm down. but she did not understand it. she said: "yes i know what you mean, i have male character traits too, just like every one else."
and then i did not know how to explain it to her properly. and i did not like her reaction, so i did not tell her how i feel exactly :-\
maybe it is better to act how i feel and don't talk about it?!?!
do you had similar experiences and how do you react. and if you don't talk about your feelings with your family and act how you feel, what do you tell them when they ask you "why do you act/dress like that?"
I'm so sorry she didn't understand! :( But I've definitely had that- when I tried to tell my mum she made it sound like all I had to do was start dressing like a girl and I'd 'snap out of it'. I talked to a friend about it once; she's bi, so I figured she might be sympathetic if not understand, but I was wrong. "Well, yeah, lots of girls are like that, it's called being a tomboy!" She seemed to think that I'm just overreacting or trying to find a label.
When I'm asked why I dress/act masculine (which isn't often, people at school tend to just take it in stride which is great ;D) I usually say that this is simply how I walk, or that mens clothes are comfortable, or something similar to sort of brush the conversation aside. I don't really like talking about it much with people I don't know well enough to predict their reactions.
I've talked to my wife, and I still don't think she gets it.
Granted, i may be different than the average androgyne, but someday i'm going to have to appear in femme to get my point across. The "normal" people just don't understand.
I think you should keep talking. Otherwise it feels like you are back in the closet again with nothing gained.
I think it is easier to explain it in terms of the internal feeling and gender identity rather than the external expression or characteristics. Also kick around terms like transgendered.
Best of luck!
xx
Quote from: lucaluca on February 20, 2010, 03:16:32 PM
maybe it is better to act how i feel and don't talk about it?!?!
do you had similar experiences and how do you react. and if you don't talk about your feelings with your family and act how you feel, what do you tell them when they ask you "why do you act/dress like that?"
I've always found this subject to be one of those ones that words are pretty bad at conveying - look at the troubles we have explaining it to each other even - and that just acting as feels correct without flagging it up is the easiest way to go. As to what do you tell them when they say why... why not? is usually a pretty handy little non-answer.
Actually its difficult for sister to accept.She has seen us as a brother for such a long time that she cannot accept us as a sister .May be some experienced person from this forum can talk to your sister online and explain her about you..
Quote from: Anisha on February 22, 2010, 07:22:51 AM
Actually its difficult for sister to accept.She has seen us as a brother for such a long time that she cannot accept us as a sister.
She's not being asked to accept a new sister
I take the easy option and just act how I do without explaining it properly. ;D At least you've made a start! Well done! The problem is that it's hard to explain, as Pica said, because it's really unusual and not something that can be easily expressed.
Could be worse, I told a friend of mine because it came up in conversation and he started bombarding me with slightly-too-personal questions. :/
Anyway, I agree with Nicky in that now you've started you should keep going with it. I say this to everyone because I know how frustrating it is to not be able to come up with an adequate explanation or argument when put on the spot, but write down a the best explanation you can and then read it to her or let her read it. Mention that it's different than tomboyism because of the GID aspect of it all, and stuff. That's my suggestion.
May be write a letter explaining her completely about yourself ...
When I came out to my sister it was like "I'm Transgender but not in a 'Normal way'" at the time i posted how it went in the just for us androgyne section if you want info