Well, I reached another milestone on this road today - my first bathroom ejection.
Apparently the last time I used the ladies at this place, a little girl clocked me and, so I'm told, "was scared to death"
Sigh.
I really didn't have the will to try to convince this woman how stupid it was that any child should be afraid of me - it wasn't the child's fault after all. But that doesn't mean I'll be patronizing that establishment again either.
I'm sure they are ok with the loss of one "pervert's" business so it's a very empty gesture, but so be it.
(although I'm sure the day will come when I'll stop there some time and use it one last time just for spite)
In the long run, I've done more good by putting a face on this "condition" than i could ever do by taking some sort of stand over that one bathroom. Ignorant people are the hardest ones to persuade.
Sorry that happened to you Laura
People are a trip to say the least
I wouldn't mind knowing the name of the place...
Why?
Send a PM if you want and we can talk about it.
I am waiting for my first ejection as well. Can you tell us more details about the actual ejection part? Sorry this happened to you.
I am an ass I would have made a major scene. I would have thrown my ID in thier face, my carry letter and my doctors diagnosis papers and told them tough luck.
(I know I have alot of male confrontation in me.)
Sorry, to hear. I hope at least you were able to wee before you were asked to leave.
I have not been ejected from anywhere yet.
I just wanted to know because if more people know what kind of injustice is afoot and they choose not to patronize such an establishment it WILL mean something. Oh, I don't think I can send a pm yet. I guess I haven't been here long enough or something. IDK
Hi Laura, brave shall pave the way and the world will change. I am grateful to you and others like you to go forth and believe in your self of who you truly are. However we, transgender, often loose the site of the obvious, common condition called society for which the cure has not been found yet. I suppose the only cure available now is $500,000.00 surgeon. It isn't surprising that LOOKS are most important and sayings such as "don't judge the book by its cover" are just that, sayings. Our brains are mostly devoted to visual perception and the eye is so keen on picking up minute differences that it is nearly impossible to trick. I am the realist and I often get lot of bull because of it, but we need to also understand position of the society and norms which have been established. Yes, we are FREAKS to them, but what is mostly aggravating in their approach is that if one of us is gorgeous and lucky enough to have a physique( lucky bitch :-) to go with it, society will be OK with them. Regardless of all this stuff, I take my hat off, and think you are brave for standing for who you are regardless of consequences. I am a coward and in the closet and just to think of going on with the reveal sends shivers down my spine. Go on girl and pave the way for girls like me so one day the 3rd kind will be as common and tolerated as gays or lesbians.
Love, Alexia.
While I haven't experienced anything like that I have to believe I would put up a stink if I did. "Excuse me? What did you say?"
As that commercial from long ago said, "I'd rather fight than switch"
Quote from: ivy on March 21, 2010, 09:42:39 AM
I just wanted to know because if more people know what kind of injustice is afoot and they choose not to patronize such an establishment it WILL mean something. Oh, I don't think I can send a pm yet. I guess I haven't been here long enough or something. IDK
It's a truck stop in a small village in North MS along Highway 78. I'll name it privately if anyone here thinks they might be in danger of patronizing it, but I don't want them getting letters and such complaining because that would just create a more hostile local environment for me whereas now i have a fairly sympathetic situation (I've routinely used the ladies' for 4 months now without any previous issue anywhere)
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Can you tell us more details about the actual ejection part? Sorry this happened to you.
I meet some of my crew from time to time at this truck stop because it's conveniently located and I had met one last night and was awaiting the arrival of another when I went inside to use the ladies'.
An older lady saw me looking for it (it's not near the men's and i keep forgetting that) and directed me to it.
Just after i got inside the stal a woman (who worked there I assume) came in and said "Excuse me"
i said "Yes?"
She said "are you a male or a female?"
After some hesitation I allowed that i was born male and she said "You will have to use the other one then, there was a little girl in here the other day (when I had used it before) and she was scared to death."
I looked at her like "Are you serious?" and she just said "I'm sorry, you can't use this one"
(I do make a point of watching out for kids because I know it's a sensitive topic, but this child came in after I was already seated)
I exited the restroom and the building.
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I am an ass I would have made a major scene. I would have thrown my ID in thier face, my carry letter and my doctors diagnosis papers and told them tough luck.
(I know I have alot of male confrontation in me.)
I don't have any of that stuff.
Choosing one from two rest rooms is a complex process for me everyday, but I should decide quickly. Most problems occur when I choose men's. There are some places where most people there know me very well, and I usually choose men's. Some strangers happen to enter after me, and they apologize me to go out and enter again.
A most challenging place is near a college here. There is a nice and clean restroom in the subway, and it is always crowded with young college girls who touch up their makeup (most college girls here wear makeup) . As I sometimes deliver lectures in that university, I sometimes worry that any girl would recognize me.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.kicc.or.kr%2Fadmin%2Fdata%2F2009114251896.jpg&hash=168fda533c5ab43fd77a6df202277a51898819b8)
Barbie~~
I am sorry to hear of the troubles you faced Laura. But it does happen from time to time.
I have yet to face that humiliation. But if they say anything, I have my ID and a carry letter. Plus they can check with the SSA. All will say the same thing, that I am female.
But strong Sister. Your day will come when you can tell them to shove it.
I wish it was available and licenced in my country!
Quote from: cynthialee on March 21, 2010, 07:25:07 AM
I am an ass I would have made a major scene. I would have thrown my ID in thier face, my carry letter and my doctors diagnosis papers and told them tough luck.
(I know I have alot of male confrontation in me.)
:D I've seen plenty of women get confrontational when the situation called for it.
i wouldnt have admitted i was born male. i would have just said i was female, and am insulted that they would think otherwise. hmph!
God Barbie, that's about the most awesome public bathroom I've seen in my life (outside of 4 Star hotels, which aren't exactly public).
I to am sorry Laura....But I do say hang in there..The one who ask u to leave is just ignorant.!!
I go out everyday and use the ladies room when I have to. I have no letter yet, but will get one soon....I to would have said "female"...
Quote from: Maiden on March 23, 2010, 09:43:14 AM
i wouldnt have admitted i was born male. i would have just said i was female, and am insulted that they would think otherwise. hmph!
It's the hesitation that gets you though. If you are going to do that you have to do it instantly. Once you hesitate as I did, the chance is lost.
Quote from: Laura Hope on March 23, 2010, 01:38:12 PM
It's the hesitation that gets you though. If you are going to do that you have to do it instantly. Once you hesitate as I did, the chance is lost.
the hesitation is alongside a confused, disgusted glare at the person asking. then you say WTF are you talking about??
Enjectable HRT is not licenced and illegal in the U.K. What is the compound of the injectable HRT you have in the U.S?
Quote from: Naturally Blonde on March 29, 2010, 12:50:06 PM
Enjectable HRT is not licenced and illegal in the U.K. What is the compound of the injectable HRT you have in the U.S?
ejection as in removal/banishment from a situation or place :P
ps: my injectable E is estradiol valerate as delestrogen brand.
Laura, I am so sorry to hear that this happened to you; that is one thing I like about living in the DC Metro Area. In the District you can use which ever restroom you wish and if a business tells you that you can't use the chosen room they can be fined by the District for discrimination. And then the LGBT community gets a hold of them and then they will begin to lose business 'cuz there is a lot of Queer people in the District and for the most part we all sick together.
If they don't want your business -- don't give it to them. Meet your friends elsewhere. Seriously, a restaurant that won't let you pee in peace? I sure as hell wouldn't want to go there. And you can tell them that they've just lost several regular customers. You don't have to be mean or confrontational about it: simply state that it's clear that you're not wanted, and you're happy to spend your money elsewhere.
I'm suspicious of the story about the little girl. It's a cheap rhetorical trick to pass off one's own bigotry as concern for children. See: all of politics. I wouldn't be surprised that she clocked you (kids are like that), but she was probably just confused, as small children tend to be the majority of the time.
I Agree with Alyssa and doubt about the little girl story my children when they were small would have said nothing about it .... this lady must have clocked you and hid behind the child story to engage her confrontation.
society can be just rude and ignorant. did that socially retarded woman think that she could be offending you or hurting you?!
i say educate the child not ban a person quietly trying to use the restroom!!
if i got ejected id just die and never go in the womens bathroom again!!!! im a wimp like that
your really good to be so calm about it
id have gotten feisty with her let me tell you ;D
i always use the disabled toilets
xoxo
I've never had that happen. How embarrassing. It's sad that people care that much about where you pee.
agreed sarah
I've never been ejected from the ladies' room before. I would probably make a big deal out of it though.
Quote from: Alyssa M. on March 30, 2010, 12:15:07 AM
If they don't want your business -- don't give it to them. Meet your friends elsewhere. Seriously, a restaurant that won't let you pee in peace? I sure as hell wouldn't want to go there. And you can tell them that they've just lost several regular customers. You don't have to be mean or confrontational about it: simply state that it's clear that you're not wanted, and you're happy to spend your money elsewhere.
I'm suspicious of the story about the little girl. It's a cheap rhetorical trick to pass off one's own bigotry as concern for children. See: all of politics. I wouldn't be surprised that she clocked you (kids are like that), but she was probably just confused, as small children tend to be the majority of the time.
I think you are probably right there.
HRT forums are over here...
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/board,42.0.html (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/board,42.0.html)
she was probably just confused, as small children tend to be the majority of the time.
Only if their parents are - it tends to be hereditary much like lazy, stupid, and crazy tend to be.
Really? Did you spring forth fully formed from your father's forehead? I don't know about you, but I spent many years as a child learning the intricacies of the world, and was confused by a whole lot of the things grown-ups did. Heck, there was even a time I didn't know simple things like the formal distinction between "who" and "whom," or the axioms of number theory, or where babies came from. Even now there are things that confuse me.
The topic was about being told to leave the restroom, or being ejected from an area. My thinks the lady has confused what is being discussed.