Just curious....
Did you come out first as trans... lesbian... gay.. bi.. or what?
Basically I Came out as bi, then lesbian, now trans.
Wondering if other people came out directly as trans or not.
Whats your story?
How did I come out? Rather humiliating experience, in the midst of a trans-related emotional breakdown.
Came out as trans. And while sexual issues were on the table, added in that I'm attracted to women (bisexual.)
Edit: Changed "an" to "a."
I just went for it in my late teens, early 20's (had GRS), so no coming out?
i came out as trans i didnt evn want to go into orientation with my wife at that moment lol
I came out as trans, still not sure if I am bi or not.
I first called my friends, then emailed my sister (still haven't heard from her...), then I confronted my mom.
My parents, friends etc all knew I was "bi" already. I was never in the closest about that so most of my friends I've just told over time so far and they all took it well. Mom knows, sent her an email because I was too scared to tell her in person, nothing to worry about in the end though, she's very supportive.
Dad on the other hand can stay in the dark for another six months or so, born in the 50s, went to school with the nuns, raised Catholic and I've heard him say some very homophobic things well drunk so, little worried about telling him :embarrassed:
I have always been the odd family member. Not exactly the black sheep but definatly gray.
I live too far from my family to tell them face to face so I drafted a coming out letter that I tailored to each recipient.
I called my mother, and a few of my friends but most got the letter.
I have had every person I have told be supportive and reasuring of my relationship with them.
As they knew something was wrong with me I wasn't telling, the coming out process aforded them an explaination. Lucky I have a very open minded family and I only choose open minded people for friends.
I came out to my friends as bi in high school when they were all coming out as gay (yeah...I'm not bi. But it was something. I was too chicken to admit I was trans).
I came out as trans to the first person ever last week. I feel so unbelievably relieved.
first lesbian then trans
Like CynthiaLee, I was always the gray or charcoal sheep of the family - the odd one - which helped in the long run.
I first came out as a cross-dresser and transgendered.
I would have come out as gay but, unfortunately, when I was male I was exclusively attracted to women and now that I am female I'm exclusively attracted to men. (It confuses me as much as it does everyone else - can't explain it. :P)
Now I just come out as myself. :)
- Kate
I spent the better part of my life being what others wanted. First my parents and later three ex wives. The last one knew about my GID. And I tried my best to please her.
But after my parents were gone I no longer could remain male. So I came out to my wife and we split up over it. Work was very respective and I worked for a year as me. But I lost my job, thru no fault of my own.
I came out as transgender to my family, I'm attracted to women, so it's not like I could come out as anything else when I was male :laugh:
i think the nice thing is that, since human sexuality and gender awareness are so fluid, i look back on my coming out and i see that i went through a lot of stages. I maybe thought i was gay, i thought i was just a plain-old ->-bleeped-<- - and on it went.
There is a process of finding oneself, and an identity that you are comfortable with, something that seems to chime with how bits of you have been for a while. Thus, its quite an historical and developmental thing that ties in with one's whole lifespan - but then, it would do, wouldnt it!!
Of course, i came out by being FOUND out by my wife (from whom nothing can be hidden - clothes, changing moods and attitudes), and there was a lot of anger and tears and embarrassment...she now sees that i have found something special about myself that i like. Now i'm out, i wouldnt go back!
I am only out to my current girlfriend who is the most important to me in the current time since i am just starting out and since my changes affect her also i needed to make sure before i went and done anything to transition that she would want to be with me or not since i have been with her for many years it was the more right thing to do.
Since i do love her to pieces i would rather know if she would want me in the gender i see myself inside than have her run a mile or freak out but luckily that is one thing i dont have to worry about that she will accept me as female and our relantionship will not end.
I cant really come out to her dad since he is about the only immediate family i have due to his current age and medical conditions and im worried that will cause him some stress that would be bad, he is in his 70's and is has angina.
I dont have many friends in the real world but im sure i will make more once i can venture out as myself :)
In a subversion.
Ex: Your gay!
Me: Not really
Sis: Your gay!
Me: Not really
Friend: You gay!
Me: Not really
Repeat
Ex: you wanna be a girl don't you?
Me: Haha..ha... mmm
Sis: You want to be a girl don't you?
Me: ...Sometimes...
Friend: You want to be a girl don't you?
Me: Yea... More than anything.
Quote from: pebbles on March 30, 2010, 05:53:11 PM
In a subversion.
Ex: Your gay!
Me: Not really
Sis: Your gay!
Me: Not really
Friend: You gay!
Me: Not really
Repeat
Ex: you wanna be a girl don't you?
Me: Haha..ha... mmm
Sis: You want to be a girl don't you?
Me: ...Sometimes...
Friend: You want to be a girl don't you?
Me: Yea... More than anything.
hahaha i love that...
I was much the same as you Janet, I've spent most of my life being what others wanted trying to confrom to what is perceived as the norm. My parents and three ex wives, the last one knew about my GID. Who finally outed me to family and friends before leaving me to return to the US and pick up the pieces she left me with.
I came out probably 2 months ago now :) to my parents in which I explained that I was trans ;D My mum is still adjusting to the whole thing, sometimes she even says she thinks aliens have abducted "the real me" ::) I think she thinks Im sexually attracted to girls as well tho, even Ive said nothing, and am not so sure about that yet haha.
It took me a long time to come out to myself. I thought I might be gay at school, but never felt the need to come out as that, it was not a big deal.
At uni I considered myself a crossdresser and told some friends. I was wearing odd stuff and they accepted it. I probably said I was bi or something. But really I just like woman.
It is only about a year and a half ago that I came out officially as trans. I told my parents in person, sent emails to friends and siblings, and just started living more as myself. If anyone asked I told them. That was pretty much it. It took some time to become comfortable talking about it in real life, finding the right words.
Now everyone expects that I will date me. That frustrates me.
I kept coming out to various people as "a girl" when I was young, before there was anything along the lines of sex on my mind.
My parents knew from a very early age that I liked boys, but I never came out as gay because it never felt right i never felt like a gay male. Then after alot of research and thinking I came out to them as trans.
I came out as a crossdresser then transgender a few days later. Now I am a transgenderist.
Gennee
:)
I don't remember ever coming out as bisexual, I just always was and never hid the fact among my friends that I was attracted to both. A lot of people I met assumed I was gay but I didn't care. I remember my dad used to ask me that constantly. ::) When I came out as trans I did it pretty much all at once, in for a penny in for a pound as they say. Once the Genie was out of the bottle it became impossible to hide it anyway, and I had no desire to do so.
As for the sexuality bit I still think women are pretty, and as an artist I can admire women's aesthetic value or even see that a certain woman might be sexy, but the sexual part of the attraction for me is just gone.
i did'nt fu... em .i know i am queer and that is enough
Came out to my parents as I wasn't developing properly, I hadn't got breasts and my periods had not starterd started as my sister's had. (Yes OK I was a bit slow on the uptake stuff) They thought I was very odd. I hadn't heard of TG or anything at that time (long time ago).
I came out to my wife as TG before we married. I came out to the whole family in one great swoop by inviting them all to dinner to meet Cindy.
Cindy
As I have said before, inside of 3 months I was working full time as a female so I came out as a female, to the world, but no one knew that. In terms of my sexuality I was straight before and straight after and I never came out in the sexual sense either to my friends and family. My family only sees me as straight.
What more can I say about it, except before I changed and as time went on leading up to the biggest change in my life, I used to think about being involved with men and I was comfortable with that. However, being involved with man physically at the time was just not on for me. Yes I use to wonder if I would get involved with a man after I changed and yes I did become involved with men after I changed.
I am content and happy with a man that makes me feel safe and comfortable to be around with. To me its the most natural thing. I would not change this state of affairs ever.
Kind regards
Sarah B
Well despite the fact i had (and still have) a female body and i fancied girls it felt wrong to say i was a lesbian, it never really felt right. Buts thats all i could think of it being and the whole trans
thing didn't click till later so i came out as a gay girl.
I told my friends first by getting a girlfriend :laugh:
Then i told my dad to his face after getting a huge urge to
Then my best friend randomly decided to let me know she loved looking at FTM transition pic's as
she found them 'really cool'. About a week later i told her i was trans and she said she was too woo!
Finally i got another huge urge and told my sister
Im too scared to tell my parents though, i keep waking up feeling really sick because of it :-\
Tom
Well I've been telling various friends for years that I was both secretly a girl and a lesbian...never came out as gay, tho a lot of people assumed that because of my rather feminine nature. I finally came out as trans about a month ago having known it for years really.
Haven't told my parents yet and the thought is incredibly scary as I have no idea how they'll take it...my mum is both a vicar and has in the past made it clear that she holds negative opinions about same sex relationships...never in an openly bigoted way, more distinct disapproval, but it's just enough to make me terrified. I don't want to be disowned :'(
I never thought of myself as transgender, though I didn't exactly have a firm grasp on the entire idea either, so I came out as a lesbian thinking that that was it.
Now I know I'm trans, but I have yet to come out about that.