Well, I had my first therapy session with a Dr. Ryoul and it was going well until he asked the question, "Do you see yourself as a crossdresser or a transgender?" My mom was there with me since I was answering questions that might need her help and.....well....I answered "Transgender." I do have to say the car ride home was quite interesting.
Here's the list of questions/statements she asked/told me:
1) I think it would have been easier if you were gay. (I don't have the heart to tell her that I think I'm bisexual as well.)
2) So you want breasts, no body hair, and no penis? (Answer: "Yep")
3) So are you thinking about changing your name? (Answer: "Yes, I have already thought about it.)
4) So what were you thinking of changing it to? (Answer: "Samantha Nicola Peterson")
5) What's wrong with just adding an "A" to the end of Paul? (Answer: "Because I don't want to be reminded of the eighteen plus years I was stuck in the wrong body.")
6) I don't think I want to talk about this anymore today.
All in all, I can hardly wait for my session next monday.
Hi Samantha
Oh wow, my heart is racing just reading that.
I can't imagine being put on the spot like that by the therapist.
I am glad you were honest and open about it, it must have been tough.
Just remember that your mum has had only a few hours now to digest this whereas you have had presumably several years. Her reaction could have been a lot worse.
So at this stage i think you may have had a win. I hope the next session goes well for you.
Hugs
Shelly
xx
I agree, it could have been a lot worse. I'm just worried what's going to happen when she tells my dad.
All i can suggest is give them time and space, but be honest and true to yourself.
Try to keep any conversations on the topic calm and measured, don't let them get heated or such.
I take it you are still living with the them? So you will probably have to make concessions for that?
Take care of you
Shelly
It is good that it is out, but it would have been better if you could have chosen your own time.
Best of luck.
Well one good thing I felt when I told my parents, is that I wasn't kicked out, that's usually a good sign ;)
I know one that thing really helped with my dad accepting it was telling how early I felt this way. Realizing how much time I've thought about this helped with him a lot, previously he thought I was just having a "phase" or that this was because of my depression, or just crazy in general.
Quote from: Shelly1480 on April 12, 2010, 07:26:39 PM
All i can suggest is give them time and space, but be honest and true to yourself.
Try to keep any conversations on the topic calm and measured, don't let them get heated or such.
I take it you are still living with the them? So you will probably have to make concessions for that?
Take care of you
Shelly
Yeah, I'm still living with them. My mother has said she won't help me with paying for any medications or operations although I can walk around in female clothing in the house all I want.....or at least according to her. My dad, however, has openly voiced complaints about it and has even gotten into an argument with my mom about it.
I will try not to let any conversations about it get heated but I can'tmake promises.
So I guess the only concession I think I'm having to make is that they won't help me beyond therapy.
Quote from: Katelyn-W on April 12, 2010, 07:34:40 PM
Well one good thing I felt when I told my parents, is that I wasn't kicked out, that's usually a good sign ;)
I know one that thing really helped with my dad accepting it was telling how early I felt this way. Realizing how much time I've thought about this helped with him a lot, previously he thought I was just having a "phase" or that this was because of my depression, or just crazy in general.
I don't think my parents want to know that I have been thinking about this ever since that time I wore my sister's dress when I was 10.
At least that part's handled! I put it off and put it off, then looked up and realized I was 39 years old.
It's nice to think of the opportunity this can be for your family & you to transition together.
I am like you, Vanessa. I looked up and not only was I 54, but an orphan. Mom and Dad never got to meet the daughter they raised.
Samantha, at least the hard part is over. You have therapy now and you will be out and about. Find a job and you can begin HRT. Don't let Mom and Dad worry you to much. It takes time for them to dwell over what is going on with you now. They will doubt themselves and wonder what they did wrong. Reassure them it was nothing they did. It just sometimes happens.
Be strong Sister and you will be fine.
Thank you for the support everyone. I can only hope that my family will come to understand my choice as well.
Your very welcome
I think you will always find support here, so if you need it, just come knocking :)
Like Vanessa, i to am 39 and only now seriously dealing with my GID. My parents do not know, but i now live in another country and we are not close, so at present i dont plan on telling them :-\
Hugs
Shelly
xx
Now that is what I call forward momentum. Many times it is difficult to get so much out in the open at once, but generally it does more good in the open then locked away in the closet. I wish you the best of luck!
Samantha, you handled yourself very well. Sometimes opportunities come when it may not be the time we want to tell them. I opened up to my wife after she found some of my clothing. Naturally, she was shocked :o when I told her. In time she came to accept my ->-bleeped-<-.
Gennee
:)
wow... tell me about it.
I was in your very same situation when I was 14 but things got pretty ugly for me, again, I feel like I screwed many things up, but now I feel like i have another one last chance for this... I'm not gonna let it go that easy...
I agree with what Shelly told you, and to be honest, just be yourself and be cool to your parents (cool in a way to keep things relaxed, without fights, trust me it's gonna help you a LOT).
Prepare yourself mentally, because this is just the beginning, these were your parents... society can be worse but I believe that when you are happy, nothing else matters.
Even if your parents help you only with therapy, take good advantage of it and BE HONEST to the therapist NO MATTER WHAT! ok? (lol I sounded like Mr. Mackey xD), she's practically the only person right now who can give you a hand and help you through this, even to change your parents attitude about your situation... so you want her on your side.
so... buckle your seatbelt Sammy... because Kansas... is going bye-bye ;)
good luck on this... enjoy it, it's gonna be a huge roller coaster!