Susan's Place Transgender Resources

When you hear the term BITCH... Does it bother you? To what degree? Do you get fired up? Do you just ignore it? Do you deal with the offender intelligently?

All Invited to vote and participate

Well?

I'm really not sure about the poll - I'll abstain I think.

As for the term it doesn't really worry or offend me - it's not the words that offend, people can call me what they like. It's the intention behind the words that matters. Is it said to hurt, or is it just banter.

To me there is no word someone can call me that is of neccessity offensive of itself. I will take offense or not according to what I read of someone's intention rather than simply from their words alone.

It does depend on how it is used... But it is a term that has bothered me for several years

I don't mind 'bitch'. Can't really remember being called it. The term i hate is 'c*nt'. Can't recall ever being called that either, but it just sounds nasty. There's so many prettier and sexier names for female genitals. That one's just low class.

I'm with Jenny on this one...i've been insulted and talked down to by people who haven't used a single curse word, however if one of my friends was to call me a bitch (or any number of rude words) I don't bat an eye lid because the intent isn't there.

Quote from: Nero on April 12, 2010, 06:31:41 PM
I don't mind 'bitch'. Can't really remember being called it. The term i hate is 'c*nt'. Can't recall ever being called that either, but it just sounds nasty. There's so many prettier and sexier names for female genitals. That one's just low class.

Ditto. The only time anyone's ever said it to me, I remember being taken aback for the first time in my life.

"Bitch" usually means "overaggressive female" for women and "subordinate male" for men. Anyone who uses the term seriously has really stupid ideas about gender. And sometimes using a word jokingly can take its power away, but that can be dangerous.

I could care less if someone cursed me. I think after so many years, you just don't care about them [the words] anymore. I'm more worried about people trying to beat me up.

I dislike the term, but I didn't vote as I'm not sure which group would dislike it the most.

For the record, I used to identify and androgyne/genderqueer, but I'm beginning to think I might be MTF.

Insults such as that are unoffensive to me really, especially compared to some of the other stuff out there, but language has never bothered me much anyway. Id more likely hear it as describing someone who was a backstabbing schemer type than anything else. I have no idea what group would dislike it most as everyones different and reactions to things vary alot.

What if you had just worked your tail off and went to go to work the next day and your employer started yelling
Ya BITCHYa BITCHYa BITCHYa BITCH for no apparent reason other than you live live next door and maybe he spied you cross dressing?

Saying that would honestly not bother me but i admit the root of the problem would be a pain. I was insulted today by a complete stranger as it happens but I just get on with things best i can.

I'm not sure. All depends on the tone and context.

Like in my post I was quoting from pulp fiction "just be cool bitch" to myself, but I would never dream of calling someone that I did not know very well.

For example me and my gay friend sometimes jokingly call each other that "hey bitch". Or me and my exwife jokingly insult eachother.

But if someone said "you are such a bitch" I would get upset, or agree with them depending on what it was in reference to.

Yeah, maybe it's just a Calif. thing or the way it was presented in years of growing up there

But it was often used as a "less than" or term of degradation

Saying that someone was bitching about something was no big deal, but calling someone a bitch? Not a good idea

Of coarse there were exceptions such as between friends and lovers

Anyway, this all seems to be being misunderstood

Like most things... Sorry to even bring it up

Forget about it

Hey now, this is totally a valid topic of conversation. :) Talking about words is my thing! And the cases of insults that have been "taken back" in some ways are really interesting. H*ll, swears are pretty d*mn interesting too.

I saw a great lecture by Steven Pinker on the psycholinguistics of swearing. Here's a shorter version of the lecture if you're interested. Don't watch if you don't want to hear some foul language (being taken apart, of course)!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1BcdY_wSklo# (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1BcdY_wSklo#)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yyNmGHpL11Q# (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yyNmGHpL11Q#)

I think I have to agree with Nero on this.  I personally do not mind being called a "Bitch", but for my girlfriends I would only call them that out out of love or in jesting.  The one I hate is "C**t".  That one is the most despicable one that I can think over.

I suppose we could all agree that various terms affect us all in various ways

What is rather degrading to one may not have much affect on another

Kind of like giving the "thumbs up" is the same as the middle finger to some folks

Calling some one a Jack Ass here will make most folks laugh... Calling some one a donkey elsewhere are fightin' words

I suppose it is a respect issue and how the term is used and or perceived

"bitch" is in my regular rotation of swears.

Not offensive if used to describe an actual female dog.

Offensive to be called so.

Irritating when others use it with each other. If only because of the hatred I see behind it.

It would offend me if I used it. I generally try to avoid swearing, there are better words to explain what I'm trying to say most of the time. And my anger does not deserve acknowledgement for the most part. It is irrational and tries to dominate me.

EDIT: Oh, and I ignore it. There's nothing to be gained from doing otherwise.

I hardly mind to be called a bitch, more so: I enjoy it because it means I was succesful in a particular situation wherin I attempted to be a bitch. So I smirk and blow a kiss or make a jack-off gesture - depends on the person I succesfully irritated.

Though, there's also a bit of a language thing to this. 'bitch' is actually used commonly in my language (with a heavy 'jest' weight), the Dutch equivelant (as a swearword) not so much anymore... 'whore' particulary (and variants), and 'slut' (and variants) are more popular, especially when combined with diseases.

Hmz, though I'd probably still smile if an English native-speaker called me a bitch...

Quote from: Virginia Marie on April 12, 2010, 07:51:06 PM
But it was often used as a "less than" or term of degradation

You could say the same about the words woman, missy, girl, son etc...all can be used in a degrading sense, but yet they are all perfectly acceptable. It does all really depend on the intent behind their use...same with curse words except curse words are a little bit more taboo and have a certain amount of power due to that fact.

I actually have absolutely no disliking of "words", Just the spirit in which they're uttered.
Ofcourse, I do my best to always respond in a calm and rational manner, no matter how blatantly aggressive, or combative they are.

I think its offensive, in some ways just barely, other ways....can be a bad one.  But, when called such things, being compared to things, 'You're Such A ****',  I tend to just look them in the eye, dead-pan expression and say 'Yes!, Yes I Am!', maybe stare a few seconds longer and the go about my day. Still pissed, but thats just me. I won't give the satisfaction of the responce they want. Basic agreement and a 'so then what happened' kind of look. works for me. (i'm such a Bitch...)

mmm depends on the way they all talk.

like: "hey bitch, what's up? wanna go somewhere?" <-------- like with friends and such, I actually use it with my male friends xD

but... well you can use formal and classy words to offend someone, although I suck at it... meh

Once in a while I'm called this in a joking manner, but it just reminds me of how I'm still not thought of as a man as to who calls me it. That's the part that bothers me the most. How bad the word is is the least of my worries

Quote from: Nero on April 12, 2010, 06:31:41 PM
I don't mind 'bitch'. Can't really remember being called it. The term i hate is 'c*nt'. Can't recall ever being called that either, but it just sounds nasty. There's so many prettier and sexier names for female genitals. That one's just low class.

^ this in spades i hate that word its degrading it implies something nasty eveen before starting transition this word was offensive to me
jessica

I don't even think it's a swearword by any classic deffination of words like sh*t, ->-bleeped-<-, or mother->-bleeped-<-er.



Just for the record, a bunch of the 20something girls I work with, like the bar staff and security staff leave by saying "Bye Bitches" to each other on a pretty regular basis.

Quote from: tekla on April 17, 2010, 10:43:01 PM

Just for the record, a bunch of the 20something girls I work with, like the bar staff and security staff leave by saying "Bye Bitches" to each other on a pretty regular basis.

It does seem to matter how it is used...

Do they angrily yell "bye bitches" in a rather hateful and demeaning way? Do the other girls worry that they may have to defend themselves?

Prob. not... Most likely it is used in a humorous endearing way in that circumstance

But any term can be used to either be endearing or offensive really

I could say "You did a great job"... But depending on how I said it, it could be taken in a poss. or neg. manor

Quote from: tekla on April 17, 2010, 10:43:01 PM

Just for the record, a bunch of the 20something girls I work with, like the bar staff and security staff leave by saying "Bye Bitches" to each other on a pretty regular basis.

I personally prefer "20 something bi bitches" myself.

it doesn't bother me. i'd actually take it as a compliment.

Quote from: Autumn on April 18, 2010, 12:27:54 AM
I personally prefer "20 something bi bitches" myself.

Oh, definitely this :laugh:

Regarding it being directed as an insult, an MtF once said she was called a bitch, and remarked to herself "at least he got the gender right."

I voted all the above above but I also think it depends on the context.

This made me laugh no_id. LOL

Quote from: no_id on April 13, 2010, 07:56:52 AM
I hardly mind to be called a bitch, more so: I enjoy it because it means I was succesful in a particular situation wherin I attempted to be a bitch.

Quote from: Kaelin on April 18, 2010, 07:40:52 PM
Regarding it being directed as an insult, an MtF once said she was called a bitch, and remarked to herself "at least he got the gender right."

Well, it's a peculiar way to pass, but it's passing nonetheless.

Not a bad magazine, you know.

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.buyolympia.com%2Fcombined%2Fimages%2Fbitch23_lg.jpg&hash=decc1862fdf54d7044ef5a0a12ee208e31d2fabf)

Cute Magazine  :laugh:

Thank you everyone for your votes and posts  ;D

I think female dogs should be most offended by that word.  :laugh:

On a serious note, I think it depends on how the word is used as opposed to the word itself.

Me and my boyfriend call each other bitch all the time in a playful way so the word doesnt tend to bother me. I've never been called one in a nasty way before but if I did I would probably just ignore it. As an FTM it could be annoying if its a day that im trying really hard to pass but in general not a word I have issues with.

I don't like to be called it and I'm sure no one wants to be called it.  If it's a friend saying it, I wouldn't really mind but if someone really meant it I wouldn't like it too much ...  :'(

Well yes, this is what I've been getting at

A good friend saying "We're becoming a couple of old bitches" is not a problem

An employer calling you a BITCH!!! several times first thing in the morning is another matter

Having to wrestle your way away and run from a creepy guy who grabs you and says "Give me head BITCH" is another matter

I agree that it depends on the intent. I've been called a bitch before (by someone who was actually trying to insult me, not like a joke from a friend), and I got really mad. Anyone calling you names is annoying, but it's even worse because bitch is usually used only to refer to girls in serious insulting way. I vote FTMs.

I've been called a bitch by both my exes.  Goes with the territory in the midst of an argument and a break up.

If I am called a bitch by another female in a hostile way, I might have done or said something to deserve it.  ;)

I haven't randomly been called a bitch though. Been called a freak a couple of times. Now that can't be sugar coated.  :-\

FYI, where I come from, c**t is reserved for males to other males only, and boy does the sh** hit the fan when that word gets pulled out. A physical fight is definitely on the cards.
Women/men never use it against another woman, but of course, every other expletive you can think of is.

The first time I was called a bitch was by my brother.  and he didn't even say it to my face. he sent me a single IM.. "Bitch" and it REALLY offended me.

and then another time, he told me in person "you SON of a bitch" and to be honest.. I actually felt giddy and happy about it (it was in the beginning when I started feeling like I should be male, and the fact that I was happy about being called that, helped me affirm that.)

But, in a playful way, I don't mind being called bitch.. as long as it isn't directed in an outright female way.

Quote from: Elijah on May 11, 2010, 10:31:00 PMI don't mind being called bitch.. as long as it isn't directed in an outright female way.

lol  ;D

Quote4.  bitch  4357 up, 1940 down
A woman that doesn't give a flying ->-bleeped-<- anymore and that can and will be cruel to men.
Im always a bitch to ->-bleeped-<-s like you and by the way im proud to be a bitch
5.  bitch  2896 up, 848 down
A woman who would say things that if she were a man, she would be confronted or assaulted. (using her position as a woman as a shield)
I can't believe what that bitch gets away with saying.

The word has many meanings depending on it's context by my wife is a self-professed class-A BITCH who often wears the designation proudly as a badge of honor especially in private. They get away with their self-seeking, anti-social & abusive bad behavior purely by bartering on the common decency of others and there has been many times when I've felt fully justified in wanting to flat out kill ;) get rid of her . . .

So if ya wanna know one reason why the DV crime rate among *males* is so high look no further than a more clinical term for *the word* which is:

NPD (http://www.narcissismcured.com/Narcissism_Cured.html)! (Narcissistic Personality Disorder (http://www.thegenderxchange.com/showthread.php?t=570))

Know anyone like this? A lot more common than you'd think and not sure who's dumber - them or the "alleged" men who encourage & put up with 'em but lots of fun for sure!

doesnt affect me at all. I will crack up laughing if someone calls me bitch

language is an ever evolving entity. with words i start out not liking, i like to take them, own them and give them my own spin. bitch doesnt offend me in the slightest. no matter how its said. because i choose to take it how i feel it should be..

yup. Hauser is a TOTAL BITCH. werd. what better comparison than to a dog..a creature of infinite loyalty and empathy with astounding versatility and capability?

dogs are sooooo underrated lol...

Doesn't bother me what so ever. I actually would laugh if someone called me a bitch. As long as they say Miss in front of it, I don't care lol. It's way better then being called a F** which I hated and make me really sad.

This is all very interesting. I don't recall ever being called a bitch, probably because I'm the most non-confrontational guy ever. I don't think I'd like it if someone did call me "bitch" in any manner, and "goodbye bitches" seems offensive to me even in jest.

As an aside, around here, a guy calling another guy a c*nt is a compliment. You'll often hear something like "he's such a good c*nt" or the like.

Language is a fascinating thing.

To me it isn't just intent that matters but context as well. In general I object to the term because it was originally intended to be a put own and insult to women. In any context except referring to a female dog.
I've been called a bitch behind my back because as a single parent I had to stand up for my rights. Because I was more direct and independent than most women.

Turns out my core identity is mostly male and while I was actually being less direst and assertive than the males I was dealing with-from car repairmen to salesmen- because I wasn't being feminine enough I was being a bitch.

So I don't like it because ultimately it meant women weren't supposed to be as strong or assertive as men. It is a gender role condemnation and language shapes societal norms.

As for women using it among themselves, it's like minorities using pejorative words among themselves. There's quite a debate about the harm that can actually be done because the connotations get internalized.

I'm not opinionated-I have strong convictions! :laugh:

JJ

i actually object to it MORE when it refers to female dogs. i find THAT insulting because the implication is incorrect....the one described here..

Quoteit meant women weren't supposed to be as strong or assertive as men

course im really weird in that im far more insulted when you talk trash about my dog than when you talk trash about me lol...

Funny thing.. I don´t mind the word ´bitch´ as much.. It´s just a swear-word. Chick, however.. Gets under my skin something awful.