Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Northern Jane started one that was for the Under 25 crowd, so now it is our turn.  For all of us older girls and boys.

Many of us started a lot older because of our own personal circumstances.  So time to ante up.

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Post Merge: April 30, 2010, 04:26:27 PM

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As the first up I began at 54.  I have only had an Orchidectomy.  But I tried 20 plus years ago.

I've wanted to transition the moment I learned that I was different than my mom and sisters

But I was afraid and had no clue to any resources until I got my own computer

44 years old turned out to be my magic number  :icon_chick:

I'm 27, but everyone tells me I look 19 or 20.  Don't know where to fit in (story of my life :P).

Quote from: Ketsy on April 30, 2010, 04:42:33 PM
I'm 27, but everyone tells me I look 19 or 20.  Don't know where to fit in (story of my life :P).

I get this too...no one ever guesses my real age...I've been told I'll probably end up looking even younger once I start HRT. hehe

I'm not complaining one little bit. and I'm 29...so just in my 20's

I'm 27, but like most FTMs I look like a teenager. I'm just starting.

I'd say I started when I was 37 but did most of it when I was 38. I am not counting the coming out to my brother when I was 8 or the "almost" at 30, I'm talking "this is what I am doing and here is my plan" and following through with it :)

I'm 26.  I wish I'd gone through with it back when I was 22 (when I started and then quit), but I dunno if I'd be in such a good position now if I had. 

I knew at for sure at nine, but I waited 32 years before I got the guts to do something about it. So now I am 42 and actively transitioning.

After putting it off for years and denying it to everyone then thinking i could just sit on it and it would behave i finally gave in last year and had my first app this march making me 38

After wanting to transition all through my teens I buried it pretty deep until last year, actively started to look at transition this year. I'm 38 but a woman said that I looked 30-32 tops the other evening. (she was a bit drunk and trying to sleep with me though! :laugh:)

Wish that I'd followed my heart sooner but life is too short for those kind of regrets.

39.

I suddenly hit the brakes and couldn't delay any longer. Found a support group a few days later.

Started laser and HRT over the next couple of weeks.

Now I'm about 2 months in.

I started seeing a therapist when I was 36, but didn't decide to transition till I was 37. 

Well I am 39, and have never looked my age, so i am told.
I am now about 3 months along my path, in therapy and should start on AA's soon.  Not exactly sure where i will end up, but one thing is certain, i ain't going back.

I'm 64, and I guess it depends on how loose you define transition. I went to my first support group meeting about 6 months ago, first saw my therapist 4 months ago, started HT 2 months ago, and due to current family/home situation have not actually began appropriate dress etc. which to me means real transition. That is to change in 1 to 3 months, so if this qualifies me as in at least transition-light, then I started at 63.

Quote from: MillieB on April 30, 2010, 08:55:22 PM
Wish that I'd followed my heart sooner but life is too short for those kind of regrets.

So true Millie, so very true. The regrets will remain in the past with T--; Susan will not carry them forward, but is planning one giant goodbye party for them.  :icon_birthday:

SusanKG

You mean when did we start transition or when we finished it?

Its hard to say, my Birthday is in February and I left a major city in January and arrived in another city in February 1989 and my age at the time was 30.  I would have to go to check my diaries to confirm whether I was under 30 or not :).

However as Nero alluded to, "when did I complete my changes?'.  Well that is easy.  I completed my changes in 1991 and guess what it was a February!  Just a few days before my birthday.  I tried to get my surgery on my birthday, but that was not possible.  However I had one of the best birthday presents of my life, given to me by my surgeon.

So I will tick the 'over 30's' box.  Take care and best wishes to all

Kind regards
Sarah B

I'm 35 and have been on hormones for a year.  Surgery is probably at least another year away, though.  :(

Quote from: Nero on April 30, 2010, 11:35:12 PM
You mean when did we start transition or when we finished it?

When you started,  Nero.  You are finished?  No plans for bottom?

Some of us go a ridiculously slow pace for individual reasons, maybe so slow that it's hard to even tell where you stand at any moment.  I've found just in the past month that I'm seen as the correct gender more frequently, except if I happen to be in my work clothes or I'm interacting with people who have known me in the past.  I should probably get around to getting the "coming out thing" done and over with.

Anyway, I started therapy and other things when I was 24, I started hormones at 25, I'm now 26 and definitely not "finished" whatever that ends up meaning.  So, kinda like my current gender presentation, I'm not sure where I fit in either group.

Quote from: MGKelly on May 01, 2010, 10:48:57 AM
So, kinda like my current gender presentation, I'm not sure where I fit in either group.

Were you ever certain?

Quote from: LordKAT on May 01, 2010, 11:20:39 AM
Were you ever certain?

Oh for sure, I'm very certain of who I am and I'm very certain I don't much fit in any one particular group.  What I'm trying to say is I'm confused by my label and best if used by date, I'm not confused about who I am.  :)

I was very certain that I needed to transition when I started seeing my therapist, but it's arguable where the point was that I started transition.  I'm moving slowly but deliberately and I don't know where the starting line was or is.  If it was when I accepted myself and decided I should do something about how I've always felt, then I was 23 when I started.  If it was when I started seeing a therapist, then I was 24.  If it was when I started to present as more female than male and started to be gendered as female by random people, then it's when I was 25.  If it's when I start telling everyone in my life that they need to start referring to me as Kelly and using female pronouns, then I haven't started yet but it will be while I'm still 26.

That starting line is seemingly mutable depending on how you figure the start of transition is. I always knew what camp I belonged in, it was harder figuring out which one would allow me to be without reservation. Sometimes that was neither, sometimes both.

I figure that I'm almost done legal wise but medical wise I have a ways to go. Lack of cash and insurance which discriminates against transition is my biggest obstacle. People will or won't deal with it and I just lean towards those who do as best I can.

My next surgery that I want is about $11,000 USD, I can not even make my rent and phone payments if I want food and gas to keep working. I am debating on taking some college courses or finding a better job (which I think we all know is scarce).

I checked "after 30."
.
First time I had the courage to come out to anyone was 10 years ago at age 26.  Got the emotional stuffing kicked out of me for the next several years, and went back in the shell.
.
Where do you mark "started" though?  I guess I could say 2 years ago when I started facial electrolysis, but to me that seems more like prep-work...like packing your luggage knowing you're taking a trip, but you haven't quite gotten on the plane yet.
.
I guess for me I mark it at 4 months ago when I started on HRT.  Unlike electro, it's something that can't be hidden completely.  To me "starting transition" means taking that step out of 'safety' to where people are going to notice things.  Maybe not now...but eventually.  When you start looking ahead and think "crap...the clock is ticking...how am I ever going to be ready in time?"  (Which scares me, and makes me smile at the same time.)  When there's no turning back, and that old shell is something that you're beginning to shed permanently.

To me starting transition is when you do positive steps towards your true self with out really stopping.

Otherwise I started transition 20 plus years ago, but I stopped because of perceived social pressures

If I don't count previous attempts, I started HRT and FT when I was 26. I'm now 31. I always get ID'd.

56. I had hints from my early teens on I guess, but lack of information, and social pressures forced me down the path of trying to be extra masculine like so many others here. 
After a close relative came out as FtM, and started full time life as a bloke, I realised why I had been battling severe depression for so many years. If he can do it, so can I. Depression immobilises you so that everything just seems out of reach, even if you could imagine it.
Tomorrow I take the first concrete step and have a facial laser hair reduction, so I will be able to say I have definitely started. After a lifetime of trying to be considerate of others, and doing "the right thing" , I am making my own life my first priority.
Being separated, and with my children adults, I don't have the same limitations of having to worry about family as much either, which is a relief too.

Quote from: Valeriedances on May 04, 2010, 06:33:34 AM
It took me so long to transition for many reasons. Primarily because of not feeling safe in the world, allowing others to control my life, and lack of information in the 70's, 80's and 90's when there was no internet.

You could find info in the pre-internet 80s, you just had to look for scraps of info. I started out by reading random entries in encyclopedias and going from there. (yes I've always been a geek  ;D)

Quote from: Valeriedances on May 04, 2010, 10:18:47 AM
Because there is some minute scrap of information in a book somewhere doesn't mean we all find our way to it. Kind of like a needle in the haystack. I wonder how much wisdom there is out there in books now that may be life-changing to us, that we still haven't found? I imagine alot.

The only thing I was aware of at that time was the porn concept of She-males, and since I have always been binary thinking, I did not relate to that and rejected that idea. They were always portrayed as aggressive, masculine types who were very willing to penetrate their partner. But that is off-topic.

Yeah, that's true, I suppose, but I was always a bookworm seeking out info so it was something that I was into anyway. I never heard the term "->-bleeped-<-" back then. I only saw the stupid tabloid talk shows of the day and they never used that term as far as I remember.

I'll be 31 in August, so I just about fit the over 30s. Due to tons of confusion, trouble growing up/fitting in, lack of knowledge etc., I didn't properly do anything about it 'til mid-February - have now gone full-time while waiting for 1st GIC appointment ;D

Quote from: Rhalkos on May 07, 2010, 05:27:30 PM
That's all well and good if you actually had access to such resources; for a child from a small rural community, there simply wouldn't be this option available.

And that's even assuming a confused kid would even know what to look for if there were such resources.

This isn't directed at you Laura, or anyone btw. It's just that this whole thing is put so much on the transsexual. And yet no one would ever dream of expecting a kid with any other rare condition to know the name of their problem and be able to research and tell adults what they need. Kids aren't just born knowing their ailments stem from leukemia or some other condition; someone has to tell them. And yet we fault ourselves for our lack of omniscience.

Well said Nero!

Thanks Nero. 
If you live in a smaller community it is difficult to find information these days. It was even more difficult in years past, the average person would not have heard of GID in the 1970's or earlier in lots of places.

Quote from: justmeinoz on May 08, 2010, 02:25:03 AM
If you live in a smaller community it is difficult to find information these days. It was even more difficult in years past, the average person would not have heard of GID in the 1970's or earlier in lots of places.

If you are not a research wonk, even with the internet today valid and useful information is still hard to find. When I went to doctors in the early 70s, they did not really understand GID, let alone the general public. After running their standard (and profitable) bank of tests, they pronounced me "physically normal" or some such "be one your way now and sin no more" diagnosis.

Had I been a wonk, had I been diligent in working it through on my own, I would be 35 years ahead. Those who are and did, good for you; that is the way to be. As for me, I let life get in the way of full life.

Quote from: Nero on May 07, 2010, 05:53:53 PM
And that's even assuming a confused kid would even know what to look for if there were such resources.
And yet no one would ever dream of expecting a kid with any other rare condition to know the name of their problem and be able to research and tell adults what they need. Kids aren't just born knowing their ailments stem from leukemia or some other condition; someone has to tell them. And yet we fault ourselves for our lack of omniscience.

Never better said Nero. And with our puritanical society, all things sexual are immediately directed under the carpet and out of sight-out of mind.

SusanKG

* edit for spelling. SusanKG *

I did try and transition at 22 but the pychologist I went to told my young and very impresionable self that I was a sexual deviant and I was going to ruin my life. He told me to stop wearing girls clothes, marry a good girl and have children and these feelings would go away.
Took me anouther 19 years before I started transition.
If I had been stronger mentaly, or had walked into the office of a good threpist I would have had a vastly diferant life. I believed what that Dr. told me. I took it too heart. I really thought that I had a serious psychosexual disorder for many years.
Thinking about it bring a fresh wash of old tears.

:( For the first time in my life I wrote down my history of gender incongruence  - a sizable post - and a paragraph or two before I would have finished, Safari on my iPhone crashes.

Ah well, I'll rewrite it another time.

I'm 26 this year and whilst I'm seeing a psychiatrist I haven't started HRT.

I had a failed start at 25, didn't meet the right people or have any resources at the time. Ended up finally transitioning at 34. While I wish I had done it when I was younger, I feel like this was the right time and place. I was in a better position to handle my transition in a mature and rational manner. This all resulted in great planning and I feel a better transition experience than I might have had when I was 25. Completely and totally happy with who I am today, and glad to be done with all the physical transition, now it's time to continue learning about who I am today. It's nice to finally live a life free of being unhappy and one that is free of pain.

Fun to read this older post today, so my answer....

51, I waited long enough....

C -

32

I waited till 62 mainly due to social pressure and lack of confidence.

I am so happy for those who can now start at 22 or younger.

Hugs

Pamela  xx

started at 50

45. Hit 1 year on April 30th.

~Mindy

Sent from my SM-G965U using Tapatalk

Starting transition ftm this year. I'm 44.

Quote from: MeghanAndrews on April 30, 2010, 05:39:18 PM
I'd say I started when I was 37 but did most of it when I was 38. I am not counting the coming out to my brother when I was 8 or the "almost" at 30, I'm talking "this is what I am doing and here is my plan" and following through with it :)

Yes I look like a wrinkly teenager. Hahaha. ( 44 years ) (^ ^)

Quote from: justmeinoz on May 08, 2010, 02:25:03 AM
Thanks Nero. 
If you live in a smaller community it is difficult to find information these days. It was even more difficult in years past, the average person would not have heard of GID in the 1970's or earlier in lots of places.

I hate giving away my age but lets just say I know there was a Time Magazine (A Blog printed on paper for you youngsters) published in the mid 1970s that had an article about a man that through surgery and taking female hormones was now a woman!?  And I seem to remember that whatever she had done seemed to have worked well.  I recall cutting that out and hiding it like a spy with a secret code.  Looking at it maybe 13000 times and learning that there were others who had the same thing done.  Most of this was published as if they were reporting on a freakshow.  SIGH

Quote from: cynthialee on May 08, 2010, 03:24:57 PM
I did try and transition at 22 but the pychologist I went to told my young and very impresionable self that I was a sexual deviant and I was going to ruin my life. He told me to stop wearing girls clothes, marry a good girl and have children and these feelings would go away.
Took me anouther 19 years before I started transition.
If I had been stronger mentaly, or had walked into the office of a good threpist I would have had a vastly diferant life. I believed what that Dr. told me. I took it too heart. I really thought that I had a serious psychosexual disorder for many years.
Thinking about it bring a fresh wash of old tears.

I think there is such a wide range of doctors that go from great to worse then no doctor at all.  That aside I want to be in a band called "_________ and the Serious Psychosexual Disorders"

61.  I date the start of my transition from when I came out to my wife.