I've noticed that a lot of the post-op girls have left Susan's & the few that remain don't post anymore. Normal (Yeah I know..that word again ::)) life is so addictive, so it isn't that difficult to comprehend why they/we leave. I've been seriously considering leaving too because I feel that there's nothing for me here anymore :(. Do you feel the same way or is it just me?
Well as someone who lived most of my postop life before places like susans were even a glimmer in someones eyes I have to say that I don't feel the same. I'm also pretty active but I joined as a postop too!
Admittedly I find it faintly amusing to watch some of the same old topics coming around again and again but I enjoy being able to share a bit of my experience, hopefully be supportive, and a little provoccative at the same time. It also helps me to feel better and have a purpose at a time when my writing career is taking a very LONG time to get properly started.
Some of us have to stick around otherwise the younger generation are doomed to repeat all the same mistakes that we did. Girls like Sarah B. and Northern Jane presumably come here for similr reasons.
But ultimately you must follow your heart whereever it may lead you.
Quote from: rejennyrated on May 08, 2010, 10:49:07 AM
Well as someone who lived most of my postop life before places like susans were even a glimmer in someones eyes I have to say that I don't feel the same. I'm also pretty active but I joined as a postop too!
Admittedly I find it faintly amusing to watch some of the same old topics coming around again and again but I enjoy being able to share a bit of my experience, hopefully be supportive, and a little provoccative at the same time. It also helps me to feel better and have a purpose at a time when my writing career is taking a very LONG time to get properly started.
Some of us have to stick around otherwise the younger generation are doomed to repeat all the same mistakes that we did. Girls like Sarah B. and Northern Jane presumably come here for similr reasons.
But ultimately you must follow your heart whereever it may lead you.
From someone who's has yet to cross that bridge, I thank all who have stuck around to share your experiences. They have helped me tremendously!!
Everyone is different
Some post ops up and leave like they are flushing a toilet. Others at least say goodbye
But some remember that the people here are people
Some are friends, acquaintances or people yet to know... But all are human beings (As far as I know)
Human beings that will remember you good or bad, funny or not, Helpful or not, a friend or not
Flesh and blood that goes far beyond the computer screen
And some of us are aliens or aliums if you watch rug rats.
Quote from: LordKAT on May 09, 2010, 02:23:12 AM
And some of us are aliens or aliums if you watch rug rats.
and some of us are fairies :)
I agree with Jessica that I'm thankful for those who have remained to share their post-op experiences. There are some who have gone whom I quite miss. But I completely understand moving on with our lives after the transition phase is over, and absolutely can't fault anyone for that.
I think I understand both staying and leaving. I am very thankful to those who have been here for me as I struggled through transition and now surgery.
As for what the future will bring, I'm not sure what I will do. I'm struggling now to get my life back on an even keel, to be normal (for me) and to do the things I have found fulfilling. Being here on Susan's has been part of my life for over a year now, and I don't see that changing, although I expect my interests to be a little different. I used to hang out on the cross-dressing threads but haven't for quite a while because my issues aren't those. In the same way, I would expect the areas of the forum in which I participate to shift with my shifting life.
We go through phases in our lives. This forum has become very important to me - the forum and the people here helped me immeasurably - but I expect my participation to ebb and flow as different parts of my life also ebb and flow.
- Kate
I am in the same boat as Jenny. With SRS in 1974, I did what everybody else did back then - "woodworked". It wasn't until 30 years later that I ventured into the on-line world to see what was happening.
I consider myself the "resident historian" - like Great Grandma, regaling ya'll with stories of "the old days" LOL!
I think it depends on your personality. Some people are pioneers and some are followers, The world needs both. These types of forums are to give help and once that is achieved, you move on. Now some people get enjoyment and fulfilment from passing the knowledge to others and those who are the ones who stick around and others dont. Neither one is right or wrong.
I'll be staying. I feel the need to give back. So many have helped me along my journey I feel that I should be there for others.
At some point I may take a hiatus, but for right now, I'll be here.
-Sandy
I don't frequent this place as much as I used to, but, but I'm still here. It's very hard to leave a place after you've gotten used to it. So in my case it's a post-op hiatus.
Quote from: Valeriedances on May 15, 2010, 09:09:07 AM
One area of the site that is lacking is post-op life support. I've seen few posts that go beyond the first few weeks of surgery, unless there is some complication that arises. Reasons may be that many post-op life topics are too intimate to share or the new life is too busy.
There have been several topics I would have liked discussions on, but there doesnt seem to be enough available post-ops for conversation. The last few days have left me a little frustrated at not getting conversation on dilation, for example. Lubrication of the dilator and bacteria concerns me, but there have been no responses. I guess I should have been more explicit with my question.
That may be a sign that it is time to move on. We all need people to relate to of things going on in our lives. Will just have to see. And there is life to live out there.
Not suggesting there's anything wrong with this form, but have you tried yahoo groups - Trans-surgery. Might have better luck there. At least in reguard to the dilation topic.
While I'm not post-op (and I will never be as such), I plan on sticking around for awhile.
well there are quite a few of us having our surgeries this year. No way to tell of course who will stick around and who will move on. I would like to see more post-op topics too but I'm thinking that "new life is too busy" thing catches all of us to some extent. A few weeks after surgery I'll be returning to Australia and my home and life there, and l can't say where it goes after that. One thing I know is I'll always have a computer because my work is there, so you can probably expect me to be rattling on for a while at least lol
Quote from: Valeriedances on May 15, 2010, 12:00:57 PMMaybe we do reach the end of the rainbow.
aww that's so sweet! Yes, I think that perhaps we do. (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.cosgan.de%2Fimages%2Fsmilie%2Fliebe%2Fs045.gif&hash=de56883fd757293852d3473c0d745e12d7344b68)
Quote from: Valeriedances on May 15, 2010, 09:09:07 AM
Lubrication of the dilator and bacteria concerns me, but there have been no responses. I guess I should have been more explicit with my question.
Valerie fel free to pm me any specific question. There are various issues. The issue of bacteria is not a huge one as long as you observe basic cleansing ie wash the dilators in soap and hot water and rince well before drying them an putting them away in a clean case.
The vagina is naturally kept clean by the presence of lactobacilus vaginalis. As you will not naturally have any present, during healing you use a douche or antiseptic gel/pessary as recomended by yoru surgeon. However for the longer term a lot can be achieved by using probiotic pessaries - there was a thread on this about six months or more ago - worth looking up.
Hope that helps - if not feel free to Pm as I said.
J. x.
Everything has become so mainstream for me in the last year that responding to threads and talking about dilation, post-op orgasms, & neo-vaginae is a tad weird for me now, but I post the news everyday, so I guess that counts as "posting" :P
i dont think im going anywhere even post opp too many people here are like my extended family
jessica
Quote from: jesse on May 19, 2010, 04:35:01 AM
i dont think im going anywhere even post opp too many people here are like my extended family
jessica
Ditto
I just want to thank those of you who responded to my worries, successes and thoughts. You have helped me through the process of transition and now in the throws of having my SRS hopefully in the next few months I am sure I will stick around. It is however the nature of transition that we change and in that change I have already found myself posting less. I suppose its because I have less questions to ask and there is a life to live fully as a woman. There is a thought however in the back of my mind that I shall however stay around and hopefully help those who are next.
Many thanks to all,
Stardust
Too many new people are coming to leave. I don't plan on it, but you never know. But someone has to be here for all those who follow.
Maybe taking a break for a few weeks (months? years?) & returning afterward is all we need.
Quote from: Valentina on May 22, 2010, 06:36:33 PM
Maybe taking a break for a few weeks (months? years?) & returning afterward is all we need.
I think that is probably right. In my case the postop break was 25 years! During which time I got hitched, moved home twice, fostered a child, changed my job three or four times and pretty well did anything and everything that a woman does in her life.
But I'm back here now for better or worse, and enjoying being one of the elder stateswomen. ;)
I'm kinda feelin like those that have moved on. I kinda don't want anything to do with ''Trans'' people or forums or organizations that are LGBT. I kinda just wanna be a regular woman not A Post op or anything like that. i also find some of the girls here not very friendly and clicky and there's one person who is kinda bitchy here and annoying, those people make me not wanna come back here. But like most others come here to help others who are starting out or just about to have surgery and share my story so others can learn something from my experience.
Quote from: TheDutchess on August 01, 2010, 03:18:25 PM
I'm kinda feelin like those that have moved on. I kinda don't want anything to do with ''Trans'' people or forums or organizations that are LGBT. I kinda just wanna be a regular woman not A Post op or anything like that.
That's the way I've felt all along since the beginning of my transition which is why I don't post my pics, hang out or get involved with Pride, etc. I don't mean to sound elitist or to slight other trans people, it's just that I do not nor have I ever wanted to be known as the "
chick who used to be a dude". To me there is a stigma attached to it that can be used against you--I know because I've experienced this. Having said that, as I approach my date, my respect and admiration for those just starting and those struggling to meet their goals has grown immensely and I would kind of like to hang around and offer assistance to those people if I can. :)
Quote
...there's one person who is kinda bitchy here and annoying, those people make me not wanna come back here.
You're not talking about me, are you? ;)
Quote from: Kristyn on August 01, 2010, 03:40:51 PM
That's the way I've felt all along since the beginning of my transition which is why I don't post my pics, hang out or get involved with Pride, etc. I don't mean to sound elitist or to slight other trans people, it's just that I do not nor have I ever wanted to be known as the "chick who used to be a dude". To me there is a stigma attached to it that can be used against you--I know because I've experienced this. Having said that, as I approach my date, my respect and admiration for those just starting and those struggling to meet their goals has grown immensely and I would kind of like to hang around and offer assistance to those people if I can. :)
You're not talking about me, are you? ;)
I've never gone to a single pride ;D. I don't eve post my pics on anything LGBT Related web-site anymore. I agree with you being known as ''the chick who had a dick'' people would never let that down. you could be blackmailed at work.
No, your actually someone who talks to me and gives me great advice :).
Here there is a predominance of ladies who are post-op, but I've noticed it on other sites with guys as well. They pop in immediately post-op, tell how the ordeal went, then disappear. There is really no info about the post-op period and healing that I can find. Most accounts stop after the guys go home from wherever they had surgery.
I'll probably disappear as well, not because I don't find y'all nice people, but because, like many, I don't identify as trans. I identify as male. And I just want to live my life as a regular guy.
And I thank everyone here for sharing their experiences with me and helping me throught my transition.
Jay
Quote from: TheDutchess on August 01, 2010, 03:45:27 PM
No, your actually someone who talks to me and gives me great advice :).
Awwwww. Thank you! I'm touched! :)
I come back from time to time. Not sure why really, maybe it's because I like to bug the crap out of Tekla, who knows.
For TS, transition is only the journey to their destination, and Susan's is one of the vehicles many use to get there. Once there, the vehicle is often no longer needed. I firmly believe that for a TS to be truly successful they need to leave places like Susan's behind. Some may think that's cruel and selfish, maybe it is, but I/we have lives to live.
For me it was and still is my job, setting up our new home with my guy, getting to know his family and planning our wedding and so on... We don't transition to be TS we transition to the person we were born to be.
It's always nice to swing by the old neighbourhood from time to time, but as with everything else, neighbourhoods change and with each visit there are fewer and fewer familiar faces to wave to.
-={LR}=-
Well Kristyn & Giselle what ever you decide to do it's your choice but if you were to leave just want you to know you've helped me tremendously! :)
Quote from: Jessica.C on August 01, 2010, 06:06:37 PM
Well Kristyn & Giselle what ever you decide to do it's your choice but if you were to leave just want you to know you've helped me tremendously! :)
Thanks Jess. Like I said, I probably will stick around and offer advice to those who request it. Throughout all this, there was much I had learned on my own through trial and error and I can understand just how frustrating this whole process can be from time to time. I would like to give something back to this community. :)
Wow Dee,
I guess I will stay away from those Houston groups! I just noticed, your surgery date is my bday! I will be thinking of you on that day.
Quote from: Ladyrider on August 01, 2010, 04:59:03 PMFor TS, transition is only the journey to their destination, and Susan's is one of the vehicles many use to get there. Once there, the vehicle is often no longer needed. I firmly believe that for a TS to be truly successful they need to leave places like Susan's behind. Some may think that's cruel and selfish, maybe it is, but I/we have lives to live.
For me it was and still is my job, setting up our new home with my guy, getting to know his family and planning our wedding and so on... We don't transition to be TS we transition to the person we were born to be.
It's always nice to swing by the old neighbourhood from time to time, but as with everything else, neighbourhoods change and with each visit there are fewer and fewer familiar faces to wave to.
This pretty much nails it for me too. My transition is over and I'm certainly no longer transsexual or trans anything, I am simply the woman I was born to be. More and more I feel out of place here, but as LR so eloquently put it, that's as it should be.
I'm still hanging agound, i don't post that often, but I still check out the boards a few times a week.
Beni
Quote from: Jessica.C on August 01, 2010, 06:06:37 PM
Well Kristyn & Giselle what ever you decide to do it's your choice but if you were to leave just want you to know you've helped me tremendously! :)
Thank's Jess ;D. I plan on staying around, helping others out.
Post Merge: August 02, 2010, 10:24:41 AM
Quote from: Dee_pntx on August 01, 2010, 09:25:54 PM
That's pretty much my POV and attitude too. I've transitioned fully, I'm just watching the clock tick down to completion, to be finally made whole. That's all I lack. After my surgery I fully intend to discard any and all trans labels as they simply will not apply to me.
If someone takes issue with that, so be it. It's my life.
NAILED IT!! This is pretty much my attitude right now.
Quote from: Valeriedances on August 02, 2010, 12:39:52 PM
I'm still around but I haven't been posting lately. I've been logging in to check on those whose surgeries are nearing or have just past, to cheer them and celebrate, even if quietly to myself.
Now that I am well into my healing I've started exploring dating/going out to clubs, so not alot to post about other than some first experiences.
Give us the goods, girl! We're all anxious to hear about your experiences. ;) We rarely hear too much about those first post-op experiences around here. :)
wow Valerie, it's hard to believe it's been 3 1/2 months for you already! Glad to hear you're doing well :)
I did want to add to my previous post I've made some very good friends here, and even if I don't post as much I'll stay in touch. I've very thankful for this place :)
This appears to be the case across most forums. Once the job is complete then the support of others seems less important. It is just us moving on, I guess.
Caroline
I came to Susan's as a result of several things that happened around me, about the same time. One a documentary on 'Jazz' that I saw, obtaining my birth certificate and getting my health back on track. Yes, I think of withdrawing and going back to being 'a house wife in suburbia' or go back into the 'woodwork' why?
Because life in the woodwork was quite, which involved, working, studying, moving, changing jobs, falling in love and having ones heart broken, being miserable and losing ones way and spending time with friends, and family. However at the moment while out of the woodwork, so to speak, my life seems to be turned upside down I'm not at peace, I'm reading stories of joy and sadness at Susan's which causes me to cheer and cry and at the same time I'm trying to get my birth certificate which, is causing me grief and sadness no end and making me face things that I have not seen or dealt with in 21 years.
So what will I do? I will continue for the time being offering some advice or opinions and hopefully someone in the community will say 'that's the answer' to my problem or question and will then be able to move on and sometime in the future they will pass on what they learned from me and they will pass that knowledge onto others and as such, life will go on.
I will eventually fade away quietly, occasionally coming back for a visit, why? Because Susan's is now a part of my life.
Kind regards
Sarah B
Lotta great responses, many that were spot on in expressing my sentiments.
I haven't had surgery yet but I just wanted to say thanks to everyone who has stayed to help answer questions and such and say I understand for everyone who hasn't. I know that a lot of people do just want to start a normal life and I understand that. Once I have surgery I will probably stick around but for different reasons. When my life was bad the community and all of ya'll have been here to help. Just like I won't every leave the GLBT community where I'm at because they have become a family so my associations aren't just for the fact that I'm trans, they are because that is my family. To anyone who is going to leave the site or is considering it I just wanted to wish you with your future journeys and life, I'm sure you will all do great :)