Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Post operative life => Topic started by: K8 on May 08, 2010, 10:55:50 AM

Title: Now What?
Post by: K8 on May 08, 2010, 10:55:50 AM
I've had the surgery and am recovering quickly and well.  I've informed the US military and the federal, state, and county governments that I am female.  All of my family and friends know that I am now physically female.  Everyone I meet and all of my acquaintances (with the possible exception of my next-door neighbor) accept me as a woman.  My life of pretending to be a man is long gone, and I am no longer pretending to be a woman but am a woman.  Now what? 

This is new territory.  I wished for it for many years, but it is still unknown.  I'm not sure I know where to go from here.  It was unattainable but I've attained it.

Can the caged bird learn to fly free?

- Kate
Title: Re: Now What?
Post by: Jasmine.m on May 08, 2010, 10:59:12 AM
Now what... Enjoy the life you've created for yourself. You deserve to. :)
Title: Re: Now What?
Post by: rejennyrated on May 08, 2010, 11:09:05 AM
Now you find the man (or woman) of your dreams, settle down together and enjoy a long and fulfilled second life.

At least that is what I would wish for you Kate.

It can be done. I've seen people do it.
Title: Re: Now What?
Post by: Kristyn on May 08, 2010, 11:34:16 AM
Quote from: K8 on May 08, 2010, 10:55:50 AM
I've had the surgery and am recovering quickly and well.  I've informed the US military and the federal, state, and county governments that I am female.  All of my family and friends know that I am now physically female.  Everyone I meet and all of my acquaintances (with the possible exception of my next-door neighbor) accept me as a woman.  My life of pretending to be a man is long gone, and I am no longer pretending to be a woman but am a woman.  Now what? 

This is new territory.  I wished for it for many years, but it is still unknown.  I'm not sure I know where to go from here.  It was unattainable but I've attained it.

Can the caged bird learn to fly free?

- Kate

I don't think you should put so much pressure on yourself in respect to figuring out which direction to move toward now.  Perhaps you should just sit back and let events transpire as they may.  You're done.  You've achieved your goals.  You will soon have new ones to attain and I'm sure you will be just as successful in meeting those as you were with your last
Title: Re: Now What?
Post by: barbie on May 08, 2010, 11:45:34 AM
I think our life is like conquering a series of mountains. After finishing a challening task, I thought it should be the final one, but I always saw another mountain appearing in the new horizon.

Barbie~~
Title: Re: Now What?
Post by: Janet_Girl on May 08, 2010, 11:56:11 AM
Kate and Valerie,

Go live your life free of the misery and pain of GID.  Go find out what it is that you need and want in your life now.  Even if that means you won't be here anymore.


Hugs and Love,
Janet
Title: Re: Now What?
Post by: Miniar on May 08, 2010, 06:17:27 PM
Whatever comes your way is what's next.
Give it a little time.

Title: Re: Now What?
Post by: Jessica.C on May 08, 2010, 09:23:35 PM
I was just listening to this today. I love it and think its so inspirational. Hope you like Kate.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NG2zyeVRcbs# (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NG2zyeVRcbs#)

I know Miley Cyrus, Right.. hehe
Title: Re: Now What?
Post by: SusanKG on May 09, 2010, 01:14:42 AM
Kate and Valerie especially, but also anyone who has crossed the final frontier, from someone who hasn't. Yet.

Now what?

It seems to me that everyone asks that question, at least several times in their lives, some much more often.

The answer is simple. And the answer is complex.

You live the rest of your lives; the rest of us will live the rest of ours. And we cherish the absolute gift science and our determination has given us.

As Peggy Lee sang: "Is that all there is? If that's all there is," and so on and so forth. The remainder of the song is yours to write.


SusanKG

Title: Re: Now What?
Post by: Jasmine.m on May 09, 2010, 01:59:08 PM
Valerie,
Are you back to running already??
Title: Re: Now What?
Post by: K8 on May 09, 2010, 04:32:59 PM
Valerie,
Do you have to take it that easy, or is that the recommendation?  I usually walk 2-3 miles when I get up in the morning.  Tuesday, my first day at home (12 days post-op), I only managed a couple of blocks.  But I'm up to a mile each morning now and expect to be back to two miles by the end of this week.  I don't walk as briskly as I did before surgery, but that's coming back, too.  I don't feel like I'm pushing, but if I'm not supposed to do this much I'll cut back.

- Kate
Title: Re: Now What?
Post by: FairyGirl on May 09, 2010, 05:06:23 PM
dear Kate, at least it's not something you have to deal with right now this minute. Now it's time to enjoy being healed, and having this phase of your life finally complete. As I mentioned in my thread about this rite of passage (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,76606.msg525808.html#msg525808), this changes everything. Life will flow and come naturally as it always does when we follow our hearts. So much of our lives get tied up in this transition thing, that it leaves us a little bit at a loss when it finally comes to an end and there is this "rest of your life" thing to deal with now. I'm so happy for you, and wish you only happiness and joy as you embark upon your new life.
Title: Re: Now What?
Post by: confused on May 09, 2010, 05:12:33 PM
=)
congratulations kate , i'm really happy for you
you get on with your life , i think it will be the happiest life you ever had
*huggles*
Title: Re: Now What?
Post by: K8 on May 09, 2010, 07:59:54 PM
I will check with Bowers' office about the walking.  I haven't been walking energetically enough to raise my heart rate much, so I have to dress more warmly than I did when I walked briskly.  (It's been in the teens and 20s when I've walked this past week.)

I haven't worn a skirt since my surgery.  Usually I only wear a skirt when I'm feeling cute, and I haven't been feeling all that cute.  I have several pairs of black draw-string – some over-sized – scrub pants that I've been wearing.  They look like slacks and are loose where I want them loose.  The draw-string means I can cinch them down as much or as little as is comfortable.  And they're cheap, so if they get ruined no big deal.  (I've ruined a few underpants but no clothes so far, and it doesn't look likely now.)

PS: Just saw your note about the torn stitches.  Yowch!  I'm sure that complicates things for you.  Please take good care of yourself, dear Valerie.  Walk like an old lady or like a penguin or whatever, but I think you (we) need to move around a little just to keep the blood flowing and the body limber.  I will send healing thoughts your way. :icon_flower:

- Kate
Title: Re: Now What?
Post by: Jasmine.m on May 10, 2010, 08:16:10 AM
Quote from: Valeriedances on May 09, 2010, 05:29:57 PM
Dr. B. said not to resume running for 3 months, but walking is okay.

Thanks for the info, Valerie! You'll be back to distance running before you know it! Keep us posed on your progress. :)

Quote from: K8 on May 09, 2010, 07:59:54 PM
Usually I only wear a skirt when I'm feeling cute...

You're *always* cute, Kate! Use your *girl-power*!!! :D
Title: Re: Now What?
Post by: Northern Jane on May 11, 2010, 07:26:24 AM
I remember having that "What now?" feeling after SRS/transition! I had been fighting tooth & nail for so many years to attain the impossible (well it WAS almost impossible in those days!) that when it was done I felt like I was traveling with the speed of a cannonball and no longer had a target.

I took some time to stop and smell the roses (for the first time in my life), to realize that I knew next to nothing about being a woman, and that I didn't have a clue who I was or who I might become. I just took life one day at a time, made lots of new friends, and found that I evolved a little every day - just like any other young girl.
Title: Re: Now What?
Post by: Kristyn on May 11, 2010, 07:56:04 AM
Quote from: Northern Jane on May 11, 2010, 07:26:24 AM


I took some time to stop and smell the roses (for the first time in my life), to realize that I knew next to nothing about being a woman, and that I didn't have a clue who I was or who I might become. I just took life one day at a time, made lots of new friends, and found that I evolved a little every day - just like any other young girl.

That's a good point.  GID has caused me to be socially isolated--for the last 15 years!  I really don't know what kind of woman I am/will be.  I have absolutely no idea as to how to go about forming friendships or relationships, and that in itself scares me far more than having the surgery.  In order to stave off any depression I might experience afterward, I'm not placing high hopes on relationships magically happening, but am allowing things to transpire as they may.