Hello all.
I've just joined this forum only a few hours ago. It seems like a nice enough place, the look's a bit dated, but I won't hold that against you, making forums look nice is a bitch, and I figured it's high time I do an intro post.
So... Here goes.
I'm Scottish and male. For a while [I'd say past year, maybe more,] I've been getting increasingly more curious about various things about myself. For example, I've realised that my sexuality is at the "if it moves, I'll have it" stage covering all the world's rich tapestry of genders and whatnot. It's only recently however, that I've been thinking about crossdressing. It's not something that's new to me, I've always had little "what if" thoughts in the back of my mind, but now I realise that it is something I would definitely like to start.
If I had the money, I'd have ordered me some nice Lolita Fashion gear [google if you're unsure as to what that means, and no, it has nothing to do with that book.]
I don't see myself as one of those people who will class themselves as a woman when in female clothing, I know I'd still be saying "Well, I'm a bloke in a dress." Also, it's nothing sexual, which people seem to assume for some odd reason. Maybe it has something to do with my age. It's aesthetics, I guess. I just like the idea of wearing clothes that don't "fit my gender" so to speak. Affeminate clothing, dresses, knee high socks, the lot! Well, okay, no need for a bra. ;D
So anyway, there's me and now I'm here to talk to everyone here about various things as is expected of a user within a public forum ;)
I'd like to use this opportunity to ask the community here a question:
Specifically for those of you who are crossdressers, how did you manage, if at all, to get the courage to come out to, for example, your parents. Myself, I've told 2 of my friends, as there the only people I feel that I can trust with something like this. I know they won't just tell the first person they see because it's an interesting piece of gossip or whatever.
But, I think I'd like to be able to tell my Mother, I just don't know how. You could say I'm slightly cripple by the fear of what things may happen as a result, how she'd react, and how my family would react as well.
Well, time to stop typing. It's currently 2:15am over here and I'm in the mood for watching some films.
Nice to be here, hope to see yeez around :)
edited for age
Welcome to Susan's
Welcome.
I can relate on a lot of those ideas: still identifying as male, aesthetics, understand the lolita thing (well, I'd be more likely to go punk than elegant on that front, but that's a whole other matter).
Moms are not all the same, so you may have to do some things differently. What I did with mine was:
1) Make a list of relevant things I wanted to talk about.
2) Make a note of things she might ask about and figured out appropriate responses.
3) Notify her in advance that there was something I wanted to talk to her about when it was convenient for her.
4) Do my best to make sure she was ready to focus on the topic at hand -- and make sure she was sitting down first.
5) Talk at a friendly, casual pace.
Wait, that's not right. This is what I did when I told her I am Agnostic. Actually, I had a little easier time talking about the clothing.
I hope this post helps.
I also wish I had the courage and preparation to talk to more of my family about it
Quote from: Kaelin on May 09, 2010, 10:58:46 PM
Welcome.
I can relate on a lot of those ideas: still identifying as male, aesthetics, understand the lolita thing (well, I'd be more likely to go punk than elegant on that front, but that's a whole other matter).
Well, if I'm going to be honest. Sweet Lolita is probably me least favourite, still like it though. Gothic is quite nice at times. S'pose it could be good for a funeral... Wouldn't seem right turning up in a frilly pink dress covered in pictures of teacups and cakes...
*cough*
Quote from: ƃuıxǝʌ on May 09, 2010, 11:05:07 PM
If your cross-dressing is part time thing that you do on your own, I don't see any reason to tell your mother about it unless you wish to.
To me, it would be a bit like talking about my sex life with my mother - which I would never do :-X
ah! And this is the thing I'm torn a little on. One half of me says exactly that and the other says that it could turn into something more full-time if you get my meaning. If I manage to be comfortable enough to leave the house, that is.
That's a tough call. On one hand telling Mom could open new doors of exploration with help and advice. On the other it could make things awkward and painful. Truthfully you are the only one who knows your Mom and how she deals with alternate lifestyles. Its a judegement call... does the risk outweigh the reward?
My Mom knows I wear pantyhose (which I do daily). She would be ok with my other clothing choices but I don't see how her knowing makes either of our lifes better so I don't share the rest with her.
Very Well said Sensei... Nice to have you here.... teh he ....guess who
One way to look at the question Lupus is that as a Scot, your National Dress is the kilt, which to a lot of people in other counties is just a skirt. And a Sporran is just like a purse, sort of!!
You are just stretching the envelope a little.
Quote from: justmeinoz on May 27, 2010, 08:05:13 AM
One way to look at the question Lupus is that as a Scot, your National Dress is the kilt, which to a lot of people in other counties is just a skirt. And a Sporran is just like a purse, sort of!!
You are just stretching the envelope a little.
haha, I spose. But only real men can pull of a kilt properly! :P Maybe I should carry a claymore just in case?
Out of curiosity, why does this forum require a captcha to be entered before posting?
Quote from: Lupus on May 27, 2010, 10:02:07 AM
Out of curiosity, why does this forum require a captcha to be entered before posting?
Never knew it did, might be because you are new.
Quote from: LordKAT on May 28, 2010, 07:45:51 AM
Never knew it did, might be because you are new.
That makes sense, I guess. :P
Nowadays I found that my dad is the best person who can understand, accept and treat my crossdressing. He initially opposed it, but now he sometimes jokes like "It seems the spring is coming, as you wear like that" (In my country, the spring means a season for young unmarried women) :D.
Barbie~~
I feel very much like you.
and no, it has nothing to do with that book
Ummmmmmmmm, it has everything to do with that book, because as long as its against the law to do 12 year olds, the next best thing is to do someone of age who dresses like a 12 year old.
Quote from: tekla on June 09, 2010, 07:01:47 PM
and no, it has nothing to do with that book
Ummmmmmmmm, it has everything to do with that book, because as long as its against the law to do 12 year olds, the next best thing is to do someone of age who dresses like a 12 year old.
Lolita fashion has nothing to do with trying to dress like a 12 year old, nor does it have anything to do with paedophillia, or otherwise sketchy, sexual fantasies.
Here is the number one Lolita fashion site on Google, look at the pictures.
http://www.lolitafashion.org/index.php (http://www.lolitafashion.org/index.php)
I sometimes wear tees for <12 yr old girls ;D.
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php?action=mgallery;sa=item;id=2134 (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php?action=mgallery;sa=item;id=2134)
And the pink pants is for juniors, and of course the shoes are too big for little girls (US women's size 10).
I love wearing tees for little girls with high heel sandals ::).
Barbie~~