You could go back in time and make it so you are born the gender you were supposed to be, would you do it or not?
Personally my first answer was YES DUH COURSE I WOULD but then i got to thinking. If i was born male from the very beginning would i be the same person i am now? the answer for me is a definate no.
Had i been born male i would have never been homosexual and i would never have been trans and i think that would have made me a very close minded person. Before all this when i assumed i was 'normal' i went by what other people said and didn't question it. I remember before i knew i liked girls asking what a lesbian was, my friends made fun of them so i did too.
Going through this has made me realise how much of a sheep i was back then, always following the crowd, never thinking about my own opinion. Never bothering to read up the facts of things. I think thats a big problem that we face, many people just go on what others think and say instead of educating themselves.
So yeah in a way i am glad im trans because it's made me a very open minded and non-judegmental person. Its a huge burden and im only just beginning so if i will have this frame of mind by the end of it i don't know but for now i can see the good thats come out of it.
Although...the benefits on the physical side do add up quite a bit, for starters i wouldn't have to worry about the fact bottom surgery is not that amazing at the moment.
How do you feel about it?
I don't know if there's been a discussion like this before sorry if there has, oh and i can't spell so sorry again
When I was younger I used to be really popular and I was a bitch to everyone. Then when I started to realize that something was different about me, everyone started making fun of me. If I was born female I don't think i every would have realized how much it hurt to be made fun of because you're different, and to this day I would probably be very close minded and always make fun of people that are different.
So my answer would also be a definite no.
I wasn't mean to everyone as a child, but they certainly were to me. If I had been born in the right body, I probably would have made it through school much more easily. However, I don't think I would be as empathetic as I am now, nor as humble. Then again, I probably would have been the recipient of the terrible treatment my younger sister got from my father, so there's a chance at least she would have came out a better or less tormented person.
I wouldn't change things. I'm definitely not a religious person, but I still think I started out in this body in this lifetime for a reason.
Id say no. As much as I'd like to have been born with a female body, all the experiences I have had are what shaped my opinions and self awareness. I might have ended up being a different person but thats not always for the best. If there was a choice to have that body and to keep my memories as they are now however I would say yes in an instant.
Quote from: Metamorph on May 10, 2010, 10:23:44 AM
If there was a choice to have that body and to keep my memories as they are now however I would say yes in an instant.
yeah that would be my ideal too, although i suppose in a way we are getting that just...in a difficult way.
Quote from: Thomas on May 10, 2010, 10:08:09 AM
You could go back in time and make it so you are born the gender you were supposed to be, would you do it or not?
I would do it in a heartbeat because...well...dealing with GID sucks. If I could do that certain things wouldn't change, though, such as being an outcast, being a metalhead, dressing like a tomboy, etc.
->-bleeped-<- yes. I'd change immediately. I don't think i'd be much of a different person if i'd lived without going through all this shi*. From the start i was a pessimist, and a bit of a freak, so i wouldn't become a total bubble head, its kinda my nature to be a realist. All that'd change about me would be me being so damn depressed, and angry.
At this point in my life, of course I would! I cherish many things that have happened in my life so far... Including ones that could only exist in my current male world. But, knowing that I would have female opportunities in that other life, I would easily take it. Sadly, I might be closed minded in relation to gender issues if I was born female. I would have been comfortable with the way I would be (I certainly hope so at least)... In that sense, it could have been hard for me to emphasize with the trans community. But, I was obviously not born female, and in that sense I am do understand this... Because I am experiencing it! I wish I was born female, but knowing that I wasn't makes me only wonder!
definitely yes. i hate this body, i havent been able to have a normal life yet at all because of it, and wont be able to until i can get all the surgeries i need. it would have been a lot better/less expensive if i was born in the right body. i get jealous of cis guys because they are just born right and dont have to go through half their life wrong and go through all this trouble and money just to get to the right body, and then can finally start their life when they have already wasted so many years.
oh the pain i could have been spared and the memories (all Bad) in the nano second it takes to think the answer it is so much of a yes i would GID sucks
Almost certainly, but actually not for myself because as you say that would have made me a different person and I would have lost a lot by it. Like Metamorph I would prefer to have been able to have a fully fertile version of that body with all my memories intact, as might one day be possible via some advanced genetic manipulation and tissue regeneration therapy.
What would edge it over the line for me into saying yes I would press that reset button, go back and be born as a nornal natal female, is the fact that by doing so I could have spared two of the most magnificent parents in the world from all the pain and worry that I must have caused them in my childhood and as I transitioned as a young adult.
I got all the benefit and experience of my GID while they took all the pain for me. That I still feel bad about.
I definitley can relate to having to wait so long to really start my life. That i must admit is one thing that irks me about being in the wrong body, I think my general welbeing would have been a lot better too. So much stress can't be healthy for anyone and then the stress i will be putting on my family...
I also think even with transitioning i will face many problems i wouldn't as a biomale. For starters i am pretty sure i would be taller and at least be able to fit into mens clothing. I would also not be looking at either a micro penis or one that in my opinion doesn't look enough like the genuine thing.
I no size isn't everything but it will definatley be an issue for me as it already is.
I keep thinking what girl is going to be cool with her man having to shop in the boys section for clothes, has nothing in his pants, isn't fertile and used to be a girl.
Although i say i would probably choose to be trans if i had a choice when it came down to it i wouldn't really know what to do to be honest. Theres so many pros and cons on both sides
I would yes. I have very open minded parents who on numerous occasions have voiced how horrible it is for LGBT people to go through so much discrimination. So I think I still would be very open to LGBT issues etc. If there was ever any chance of me being a bio-male I'd take it in a heartbeat. I'd be a lot happier.
It would depend. I have children and what if one of my Grandchildren discovers a break through in medical advances, say cancer or heart disease, which could save thousands of lives in the future..
If that were the case, then no. But what if I was born female and one of my children discovered something along the same line and saved thousands of live now.
Which do I choose? Now a selfish note, Damn straight I would. I guess I would rather have transitioned 20 plus years ago. My blood line would have been set, and the time line would not be disrupted as far as my family is concerned.
H*ll TO THE YEAH!! LOL ;D. I use to go to bed and pray to god I'd wake up a woman. I don't do that anymore though now lol.
I'm with Metamorph on this one. Changing your birth gender would change so many things about who we are today, so many we probably wouldn't even be the same person. It's not worth it.
There was a study done, where people who had been exposed to horrible life experiences were asked if they could have avoided it, would they? In every situation, the person answered they would not change a thing. Most all said because they wouldn't have learned what they did had they not had the experience.
That's how I feel about the experience I've had being TG.
easy, I'm with the GID sucks crowd. That's the wish every time I blow out a candle.
There was a time when I would have immedietly said yes to this question. Now, though, I think that if I could do that I would not be the same person. I guess the only thing that I wish is that SRS is fully effective.
Thats a tough one. I guess in thinking about it I probably wouldn't change anything now, as much as I too prayed every, single night, BUT that is only because I am dealing with, and conquering, my GID. Now, if you were to ask me if in my next life which body do I want? Most definitely I would pick a woman...
Well, my opinion is that the gender I was 'supposed' to be was male.
I simply see no way to argue anything else, if you have a Y chromosome you were 'supposed' to be male. HOWEVER nature messes up what's 'supposed' to happen all the time.
So, to answer your actual question first. If I could change it so my soul (or whatever) ended up with a female body right from the start, yes I would do it unquestionably. I can't speak for anybody else, but this whole thing has made my life utter hell. Would I have been a very different person if I had just been born genetically female, of course, my experiences have made me who I am. However call me selfish, but I just don't think its worth it. And honestly I don't see it changing. I lost my entire adolescence while watching everyone else live theirs because of this. No matter how good my life does or doesn't get in the future, nothing will undo that loss, so I don't think my opinion will change.
However in spite of that, I would NEVER go back and change things to make it so I was gender congruent (happy being male).
I can imagine being born genetically female and still being me, a different me, but still me.
I can't imagine being born a mentally congruent male and that person even remotely resembling me. It feels more like I would be dying.
But yeah, to answer your question very simply, yes I would without hesitation.
I'd do it in a heartbeat.
It might help that I'm gay. So I don't have to think about that "what if I had never been part of a marginalized group?" thing, because I'd just be trading one for another.
I might not be exactly the same person, but I'd be pretty damn close. All those 'masculine' things I did to sort of compensate - playing baseball, being a firefighter, joining the military - I think there's a fairly good chance I'd have done those as a cis gay guy too, because the motivation was more internalized homophobia/sissyphobia than it was "I don't have a penis so I have to prove myself."
What would be different? I don't really know. Obviously I would never have married my husband, and I probably wouldn't have dated the other guys that I did. But I don't think they as individuals really had a profound effect on who I am. I would have found other guys to date/sleep with, and the cumulative effect would have been pretty much the same.
Yeah, I'd do it, and I wouldn't feel the slightest bit guilty.
Yes I would. While I can laugh at some of the more absurd elements of my existence and my unusual position has given me unique insight and talents.
It's just not worth so much pain.
absolutely yes!
I wouldn't be the same person?
Totally works for me!
the kids I have now wouldn't have existed?
Meh - it's metaphysical - if I was a fertile female I'd almost certainly be the mom of a couple of kids anyway, genetics aside I'm enough of a believer in the spiritual to think it would be all the same - a difference which makes no difference is no difference.
VERY interesting question. I would do it in a heartbeat.
It would save me a lot money and agony. I wouldn't care about losing the friends I have made as female. If I were born a biological male then my life would be waaay better. I would be more inspired to exercise and take care of my body and I could "enjoy" my body to myself like most other teenage males do. If I could be a biolgical male then I could care less about what experiences have shaped me since dealing with my trans issues. I personally feel it's just a by-product of the cards I am dealt with.
If I could go back in time and be born into a healthy loving family, or be born into money and health insurance, or be born into a culture that isn't viciously bigoted...it's all the same. I wish life wasn't so hard. Yes I am probably a kinder person for having suffered in all these specific ways, and yes I would make it never have happened if I had a choice. I don't care what kind of person that makes me.
Quote from: Tom on May 10, 2010, 10:08:09 AM
You could go back in time and make it so you are born the gender you were supposed to be, would you do it or not?
That was a huge fantasy of mine all through my teenage years!
Quote from: Tom on May 10, 2010, 10:08:09 AMPersonally my first answer was YES DUH COURSE I WOULD but then i got to thinking. If i was born male from the very beginning would i be the same person i am now? the answer for me is a definate no.
true... Perhaps I could explain to my new self what, why and how I did what I did? Give her my diaries and notes on making the time machine, how I changed how I/she developed? Telling her to invest all her money in Apple Computer, Inc in 1996? Maybe even going back further and make sure that my parents do immigrate to the west coast of Canada in the 50s (but then I would risk never being born...)
For me, GID sucks. Big time.
I would have chosen to have been born female.
I'd still have the same screwy experience growing up in my crazy family, but some of the things that happened would not have had I been born female. If I had memories of past life so to speak, I'd miss the kids, but as a PP said, I would have had a few anyway.
No.
For the sole reason that if I did, I would never have met someone I love more than any thoughts of my own state of being. It would evoke a cascade reaction that would lead to never having met this person. In my view life is what it is, everything happens for a reason, and is made up partly of the lives of those you touch, and whose touch you. I wouldn't change that.
No, not on my life. 2 reasons, one my husband and child mean far too much to me. and 2, I have a 'I've come too far to give up now' mentality. I feel like if I could just go back and change it would be giving up on this long arduous journey. I've learned too much and come too far to leave now :-)
Yes - being trans sucks.
I dont remember starting this at all and I still don't know what i'd do.
It's very easy to wish for a different beginning, but then, everything in life that has made you what you are, would never of happened, or the effects you had on other people that were good things. We probably all want to 'erase' things in our past, but those things give us experiences and knowledge too. I think its fair to say we all have unique experiences of things in life, that made us who we are, good or bad for it. I have often thought I could go back to the very first moment of conception, and my mother to give birth to a child not transgendered or anything else but 'normal'. But I am what I am, and it lead me to some very odd and unusual decisions in my life, and I may well of been born as some one I would equally dislike as this persona I am now anyway.
Give me a Do-Over anytime!
Sure, no way can I assume I'll be the same person or have the exact same joys I do now nor the miseries. I would welcome a more conventional set of both. As another poster said "being trans sucks".
Nowadays, life is really tough for almost everyone, not just the transgendered and other minorities. That's all I'm going to say.
Yes. Would I still be the same person? No, probably not, our experiences mold us to a certain extent. Would it matter to me that I wasn't the same person? No, because I wouldn't even know that that other self existed. We are talking about going back and being born as a different birth sex, we are splitting a new branch off in our time line, thus making a whole new life for ourselves (from conception) and the people in our lives so no one would know anything about the "others".
I love how sci-fi we're getting with this one.
Quote from: Felix on April 01, 2012, 03:45:05 AM
I love how sci-fi we're getting with this one.
I thought we were being Trans-cendental ;D
Well at first blush, YES. But would I really. Would I give up my children, grandchildren and great grandchild? No. If they could all be here and I was born female then maybe. But it would mean changing who I am now.
In reality, No I would not want to go back and change. It is a bitch to be Trans, and I would not wish it on anyone, but it makes me, ME.
Quote from: Tom on May 10, 2010, 10:08:09 AM
You could go back in time and make it so you are born the gender you were supposed to be, would you do it or not?
YUP!!! in a heartbeat.
And I've thought long and hard on the matter. I know in my own mind, that if I had of had congruency of mind and body from that first moment I perceived the in-congruency, I would be 'streets' ahead of where I am now. The last 50 odd years have been like driving a car on 3 wheels. Sure it gets you around, but the inconvenience of not being able to reach it's full potential as a car, having to constantly adjust your driving technique to compensate, the additional stress placed on other components trying to compensate for the lost wheel; are just some of the time wasting, energy robbing and psychological inhibiting trauma that goes with in-congruency.
I don't want to change my past, because it is that which spurs me on with great alacrity to change my future to what it should be. That's the BURN.
Be safe, well and happy
Lotsa huggs
Catherine
I wouldn't do it. I could be a homophobic male for example so it's now worth it. Now i'm really tolerant and i understand people from lgbt community i'm really "open" to world.
I'd do it. Being a cis man would have prevented a lot of awful things in my life that have left me traumatized and just...messed up. I think I'd still be me, just...happy. A normal guy. It'd be nice, really.
Quote from: Tom on May 10, 2010, 10:08:09 AM
You could go back in time and make it so you are born the gender you were supposed to be, would you do it or not?
Personally my first answer was YES DUH COURSE I WOULD but then i got to thinking. If i was born male from the very beginning would i be the same person i am now? the answer for me is a definate no.
...
How do you feel about it?
Personally, I would totally go back and do it --cos it sounds like I was the exact opposite of the kid you described. I was a mostly-quiet, bookwormy kid mostly raised by my English grandparents. I loved theatre and make-up. Yeah, if the rest of the world recognised me as the little boy I was, it would have made my life harder, but I think it would have been character-building at the same time. I really don't think I would have been afforded much, if any "male privilege" on account of being small and effete (my father was 5'4" and my mother 5'2", I was going to be short, no matter what was between my legs at birth), so I really doubt school would have been much, if any easier --and considering that my father was damned determined that I was going to go into medicine, even as I was, that certainly would not have changed, unless, of course, he was that against having a femmey little boy, in which case, the beatings I suffered would have been worse.
The only upside I really see, all things considered up to this point in my life, is that I would have an easier time picking up other gay men, and all things considered, that's probably my biggest barrier, socially, so yeah, I'm going to stop thinking about it and say YES, I WOULD.
Plus: Being this uncomfortable in one's own skin? It totally sucks. I absolutely do not understand people who would choose being TS over being born in the right body.
I think I would go back and help my young self express her feelings and get professional help.
I know she would've accepted it had she been given the option and with my coaching she would be able to explain it much much sooner.
I also might have to nudge some scientists here and there so that they discover somethings a little earlier... ;->
Being born the way I am isn't so bad? It's the way my community and I reacted to it has caused most of the damage.
No brainer really, If I could be born female I certainty would go for it
I would so love to go back and see that that one "detail" was changed so I was 100% girl,
having grown up this far seeing my sister as pretty much the girl version I would have been appearance wise would not be bad at all :)
hum... i would have picked to be all one way. i guess that would mean male
Hell Yeah I would
I think I'd just do it. My personality would definitely be different but I guess in my new life I wouldn't care anyway as much as the thought bothers me, though I'd still be pretty liberal. My teenage years were wasted because of this. I have some body dysphoria that can't be fixed. I'm always aching about my inability to become pregnant. Frankly it's too good to pass up.
What birth-assigned gender was I supposed to be? I'm a CAFAB non-binary autoandrophile... :P
But anyway, even if we did figure out what I was supposed to be-NO NO NO NO NO. I'm very proud of being trans, and really wouldn't like to identify as cis. I've identifed as cis in the past. It's a very closed-minded way of viewing the world-I could only stomach it for a bit over a decade, I've no idea how some people can manage it for their whole lives!
I would have been born in a female body, the PTSD has ripped my life into tatters i have run like a fox in front of the hounds all my life.
Absolutely, I would.
Before transition, I used to tell myself "I have no regrets in this life, for it's my mistakes and choices that make me who I am." In fairness, that may be true, but that was when I could still suppress all the emotions I had...back when I beleived that "I choose what I am in this world." Since I stopped running from who and what I am, I can't suppress those emotions anymore, and It brings me pain...LOTS of pain.
I never identified as "transgender" or "transsexual". Personally, I hate both of those titles, and all the stereotypes that ensue when using them. I've identified as "woman" for as long as I can remember, but all the "hard physical evidence" presented to me told me otherwise. So, being of an analytical mind, I concluded that I must be wrong. I mean, how can I be a girl, when I have a penis? The contradiction and confusion were more than my 5 year old consciousness could handle, so, I did what so many of us do...I locked it away, deep within my mind, thinking that it would eventually go away. Obviously, not the case.
I am post op now, and still find myself missing something. I look like a woman now. I have breasts, hips, a butt, a vagina...but I can't get pregnant, have no past life as a girl, no memories or experiences to pull from to help me through life as a woman, and above all, I have a secret that I will inevitably have to tell anyone who I get close to. All that said, will I ever be the woman I identify as? Or, will I always just be a reasonable facsimile?
These are things I wouldn't be thinking about had I been born in the correct body. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure I'd have an entirely different set of troubles and worries to deal with, but I feel like they would have been problems that I was more adept to deal with. Also, I totally think childhood would have been a much less damaging experience. Of course, I would be different than I am today...life experience definitely helps to shape your personality, but would I be any worse off? I beleive that I would be much the same, without all the baggage that being trans saddles us with.
What it boils down to, I guess, is how much would you be willing to trade to "just be normal"? I'm guessing that for a majority of people in the trans community, that's their number one wish. I, for one, would trade it all.
Thanks for listening to me babble.
~Emily
I wouldn't change a thing. I feel I was meant to be trans and I really don't know what I would be like if I had been born female. I wouldn't be the same person with the same experiences. I can honestly say my life hasn't sucked from being trans, it really hasn't sucked period :)
Honestly, I would go for it and make myself female, and while I know my life would be quite different, I think I would be a very happy girl.
I never really felt "right" as a guy. I could never relate to my guy friends talking about taking a woman and making love to her, I would only imagine BEING the woman.
I always had a girly side to my personality, and I was aware that it was the more dominant side, but I would have to suppress it. :(
And physically, I never felt right with a penis. I like standing up to pee, but it's a habit I'm going to break myself of. Otherwise, I have nothing but disdain for my genitals.
I would do it. I know I would be a different person if I had been born male and that would be okay. If I had been different certain things wouldn't of happened in my life. Maybe I would be closed minded, I don't know but atleast those two people would be alright.
The only way I could say "yes" is if I was able to change other factors of my life from birth to age 20. Being gendered as female then would have made things worse for me in the abusive home in which i was raised.