Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Female to male transsexual talk (FTM) => Topic started by: accord03 on May 21, 2010, 08:16:00 AM

Title: In a relationship?
Post by: accord03 on May 21, 2010, 08:16:00 AM
How many of you are in a relationship? How many of you want to get married and start a family?

I know I've posted alot of topics but come on, wake up  :laugh: Starting being active people.
Title: Re: In a relationship?
Post by: Carson on May 21, 2010, 09:05:36 AM
I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for over 2 years. We eventually plan on getting married and starting a family.
Title: Re: In a relationship?
Post by: Jeatyn on May 21, 2010, 10:04:11 AM
Not in a relationship but I am pregnant....family but no relationship, works for me :P
Title: Re: In a relationship?
Post by: accord03 on May 21, 2010, 10:05:30 AM
Are you a FTM? How did you get pregnant? If you dont mind me asking.
Title: Re: In a relationship?
Post by: Shadowlyc on May 21, 2010, 10:22:00 AM
In a relationship for three months now.  :)
Title: Re: In a relationship?
Post by: cynthialee on May 21, 2010, 11:14:58 AM
Quote from: accord03 on May 21, 2010, 10:05:30 AM
Are you a FTM? How did you get pregnant? If you dont mind me asking.
Looks at accord03 oddly....Didn't get sex ed in your school?
Title: Re: In a relationship?
Post by: Greg on May 21, 2010, 11:19:23 AM
Quote from: cynthialee on May 21, 2010, 11:14:58 AM
Looks at accord03 oddly....Didn't get sex ed in your school?

I was under the impression that when you identify as FTM you have to get a "CONDEMNED" sign across the vagina ;D.
Title: Re: In a relationship?
Post by: Papillon on May 21, 2010, 11:21:12 AM
LOL Greg!

I'm married for 13 years.  If I progress with this and my husband can adjust to it, we will need to divorce and rejoin in a civil partnership.  Yup, things are going the right way in UK law, but there is still a LONG way further to go.
Title: Re: In a relationship?
Post by: cynthialee on May 21, 2010, 12:44:26 PM
Quote from: Greg on May 21, 2010, 11:19:23 AM
I was under the impression that when you identify as FTM you have to get a "CONDEMNED" sign across the vagina ;D.
funny I dont think all your brothers got that memo..
Title: Re: In a relationship?
Post by: Hurtfulsplash on May 21, 2010, 01:13:28 PM
Quote from: Greg on May 21, 2010, 11:19:23 AM
I was under the impression that when you identify as FTM you have to get a "CONDEMNED" sign across the vagina ;D.

LOL

I've heard that after awhile on HRT you become sterile. Maybe that's what he means.
Title: Re: In a relationship?
Post by: Arch on May 21, 2010, 02:42:42 PM
My relationship just ended this past year, and I'm not looking for a new one just yet. And I'm not particularly hopeful, mainly because of my preop genitals. I don't know when I'll be able to afford surgery down there, and I'm not thrilled with the options anyway.

So for now I'm playing the field, and I don't know if I'll ever actively seek out another relationship. If it happens, it happens. I think the best thing for me to do is to assume that I'll probably be alone for the rest of my life and make my peace with that and be happy that way. If nothing else, this attitude will make me more attractive to would-be suitors. :D
Title: Re: In a relationship?
Post by: VampyreAri on May 21, 2010, 03:41:52 PM
Quote from: Greg on May 21, 2010, 11:19:23 AM
I was under the impression that when you identify as FTM you have to get a "CONDEMNED" sign across the vagina ;D.

Best. Comment. Ever. 8) I'm quite proud of my condemned sign though. :P

As for the topic at hand... Been in a relationship for... 10months as of this upcoming Tuesday... ;D
Married? In a couple of years. Family? Not for about a decade or so.
Title: Re: In a relationship?
Post by: Osiris on May 21, 2010, 03:45:11 PM
I would love to get married and have kids. I look forward to being a husband and father and eventually the grumpy ol' grand-dad. :D

I'm not currently in a relationship. Looking to get my own stuff sorted so that I'll be a good partner to have.
Title: Re: In a relationship?
Post by: sneakersjay on May 21, 2010, 03:52:09 PM
Quote from: cynthialee on May 21, 2010, 11:14:58 AM
Looks at accord03 oddly....Didn't get sex ed in your school?

LOL Took the words right out of my mouth!


Jay
Title: Re: In a relationship?
Post by: Arch on May 21, 2010, 04:01:11 PM
Oh, and don't have kids, don't want kids...for years I had people telling me that this attitude would change. Now that I'm visibly male, nobody is at all surprised when I indicate my preference to remain childless.

This issue was quite a source of tension in my previous relationship, the one before the one I just came out of. I was living as a female then, in an ostensibly straight relationship with a man. People at work sometimes asked me if my partner and I planned to have kids. When I indicated that there was a difference of opinion on whether that would happen, the other party invariably said something like, "I see, you want 'em, he doesn't...I get it."

Apparently, all women want children and all men resist. It's nice to know, now that I'm living as a man, that I so neatly fit that stereotype. ::)
Title: Re: In a relationship?
Post by: Luc on May 21, 2010, 04:36:06 PM
I was married for 2 1/2 years to an MtF woman who treated me like dirt.

Now, thankfully, we've been separated for almost a year and a half, and are amidst a divorce. My current girlfriend and I have been together for about 5 1/2 months now, and living together for the past 3 months. I'm just waiting on the money to buy her a ring so I can propose. We want kids... plenty of them... and she's willing to go through the motions so we can have our own genetic children, though we'll adopt as well.

SD
Title: Re: In a relationship?
Post by: Jeatyn on May 21, 2010, 05:01:33 PM
hahaha loving the replies I sparked :D I was just about to start hormones when I found out if that's what the question was in reference to
Title: Re: In a relationship?
Post by: Lachlann on May 21, 2010, 07:57:58 PM
I was in a relationship for about 7 years, the last 3 years being on and off. She was OK with the transgender thing, it actually made her realize she was pansexual, however she ended up being disrespectful and insensitive later on. She wanted to put me in skirts and do drag king shows, and it's not that I have an issue with drag kings and ftms who choose to do it... but personally if someone tells me I should be a drag king I kind of think they don't see me as a man. I guess it just goes to show it's not always the length of the relationship, they also have to be understanding, and sometimes it doesn't matter the amount of years you are together they might not ever understand.

As for kids, I don't even know. I can't see myself as a father right now and I think it'd be irresponsible to have kids in my current condition. Maybe later on, but right now it'd be a bad move.
Title: Re: In a relationship?
Post by: Linus on May 21, 2010, 08:01:31 PM
I've been with my g/f for nearly 4 years now. She just finished her Master's degree and went off to California (I'll be following once she has a job and place -- we have an old cat that I don't want to impose on her parents' place). We haven't fully decided whether we'll do a full ceremony for marriage but we planning to have some kind of commitment ceremony as well as a gaggle of kids, kidlets and furrkids.

I'm saving up my sleeps now because I know I'll never sleep again once our family gets going.  ;D
Title: Re: In a relationship?
Post by: Ryan on May 21, 2010, 08:02:55 PM
I'm not in a relationship. I suck at meeting girls lol.
I think I would like to start a family in the future. Way, way in the future.

Plenty of transguys feel comfortable with penetrative sex in the bonus hole. I don't, but I've seen plenty that enjoy it.
As for T making you sterile, that's not quite true. You shouldn't start T if you plan to get pregnant, but there have been a few guys out there who have been on T for years and have gotten pregnant.
Title: Re: In a relationship?
Post by: myles on May 21, 2010, 08:03:48 PM
Been with my partner over 16  years and we have kids. Two boys both adopted and she has been dealt with my transition amazingly.
Cheers,
Myles
Title: Re: In a relationship?
Post by: Arch on May 21, 2010, 08:50:09 PM
Quote from: myles on May 21, 2010, 08:03:48 PM
Been with my partner over 16  years and we have kids. Two boys both adopted and she has been dealt with my transition amazingly.

Myles, I'm sure you've had some bumps in the road, but I think that you, your partner, and your kids are so fortunate. I'm glad your family unit hasn't broken up.
Title: Re: In a relationship?
Post by: myles on May 21, 2010, 09:06:29 PM
Definitely been a trek but not just because of trans stuff 16 is a lot of crap to put up with (hahaha).
Myles
Title: Re: In a relationship?
Post by: Elijah3291 on May 21, 2010, 09:11:28 PM
I have known my boyfriend for one semester.  He is amazing, and we really click.  and, (of course) he respects me as his boyfriend.
Title: Re: In a relationship?
Post by: kyril on May 21, 2010, 09:15:28 PM
Married 5 years.
Title: Re: In a relationship?
Post by: elvistears on May 21, 2010, 10:43:12 PM
I had been a serial monogamist from age 17 onwards, just jumped from girlfriend to girlfriend.  Longest lasted 1 1/2 years.  Still haven't clocked the two year point...I get bored.  Mostly because I was getting bored trying to be a lesbian.

My last girlfriend inadvertedly helped me figure myself out, due to a bit of roleplaying.  Good sex too. It was only a summer thing, but now she's been treating my transistion like idle gossip and I'm pissed.

Having a break from relationships til I am well into my transition.  I still need to figure out what my sexuality even is! I'm pretty sure I'm bi, but I don't wanna do anything with a guy unless I'm totally sure he sees me as male.
Title: Re: In a relationship?
Post by: accord03 on May 22, 2010, 12:16:48 AM
I see there are people in here who can't take questions  ::)
I went to a great school so we did learn about sex ed but I fully block out the thought that FTMs would get pregnant when they're transitioning or when they claim they're an FTM. It is putting yourself and the child at risk but I don't THINK I mind if you do it before you start T, as long as you claim yourself to be a daddy after.


Nice to know some people are married and some wanting kids  :P
Title: Re: In a relationship?
Post by: Christo on May 22, 2010, 12:53:42 AM
QuoteHow many of you are in a relationship?
I have a girlfriend.  we've been together 4 almost three yrs.

QuoteHow many of you want to get married?
We're engaged & plan to marry in the future. :) :) :)

Quoteand start a family?
we're a family already: me, her & our cats :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Title: Re: In a relationship?
Post by: Elijah3291 on May 22, 2010, 12:56:08 AM
Quote from: Elijah on May 21, 2010, 09:11:28 PM
I have known my boyfriend for one semester.  He is amazing, and we really click.  and, (of course) he respects me as his boyfriend.


(i forgot this part...)

I want to get married someday, once gay marriage is legal.  and I don't want a family.. I just want my SO.  I greatly dislike kids
Title: Re: In a relationship?
Post by: millsy on May 22, 2010, 01:15:12 AM
yep, been together for nearly 2 years, she has been with me right from the start of my transition so I am very lucky. she's a staunch feminist and still identifies as a lesbian who happens to be with a guy and i really respect that. Both of us would rather concentrate on our careers  and travel than have kids but eventuallY i'd like to be a foster parent.
Title: Re: In a relationship?
Post by: Teknoir on May 22, 2010, 06:38:50 AM
No, no and hell no.

Not looking for a relationship.

Don't want to marry, don't see myself as the marrying type. I really don't want anything that would be serious enough to involve a shared living space, or any restrictions to my life. I like my space, my money, and my crazy shifts :laugh:.

I sure as hell don't want kids. I can't stand them.
Title: Re: In a relationship?
Post by: Zack on May 22, 2010, 07:39:20 AM
Don't want a relationship at the moment.
Never wanna get married and definitely don't want kids!
Title: Re: In a relationship?
Post by: Jamie on May 22, 2010, 08:50:52 AM
I'm not in a relationship right now.

I want to be a husband one day...

And yeah - want bunch of kids.  :)
Title: Re: In a relationship?
Post by: kyle_lawrence on May 22, 2010, 10:35:20 AM
I have been single for the last six months, but before that I was in a relationship with an MtF.  It was a crazy stressful time, and I wish we had met later in life and transition, because I think It might have made things a little easier.

I would like to be in a relationship, but I know I have lots of things to work out in my life before I try again.  I don't think I would ever get married though. I see marriage as a political and religious mess, and want nothing to do with either.  Doesn't mean I woulnd't want to live with someone in a committed relationship though.

Kids though... maybe.  It would depend on the situation.  I could see my self adopting or fostering, or if a partner already had kids,  but there is no way kids are coming out of me.
Title: Re: In a relationship?
Post by: Nygeel on May 22, 2010, 11:01:49 AM
I was in a relationship up until a little over a year ago. It lasted 2 years and I wanted to settle down with her. I've been trying the whole dating scene since then but it's tough. Hard to find somebody who is okay with me being a dude pre-T and doesn't fetishize my being trans.
Title: Re: In a relationship?
Post by: DamienR on May 22, 2010, 02:52:50 PM
I already have a family, and I am in a relationship with a woman.
It's only been a few months, and it's complicated because she doesn't seem to get the difference between trans and butch. A lot of people don't get it, actually.
Title: Re: In a relationship?
Post by: TheCG on May 22, 2010, 07:54:43 PM
Just ended a 18 year relationship. We had 2 kids now 18 & 15. Since we broke up she is now telling everyone she didn't know I was FtM all this time if you can believe it. Has ruined my reputation in the community and taken the only father 2 kids have ever known from them.

I will never have another long term relationship again.
Title: Re: In a relationship?
Post by: Evan on May 22, 2010, 09:18:13 PM
Quote from: accord03 on May 22, 2010, 12:16:48 AM
I see there are people in here who can't take questions  ::)

it's not that people can't take questions, it's that you've shown yourself (through this and other posts) to not be mature enough to know the difference between asking a question and attacking someone.

Quote from: accord03 on May 22, 2010, 12:16:48 AM
when they claim they're an FTM.

this is a perfect example of what i meant.

Quote from: accord03 on May 22, 2010, 12:16:48 AM
but I don't THINK I mind if you do it before you start T, as long as you claim yourself to be a daddy after.

so is this.

from what I've seen over last few months on this forum.. for many people this is the only place that they can truly be themselves without having to put up walls, repress themselves, or have to defend their feelings/actions. that's why there are rules, and why this site is moderated to enforce the rules. as you grow older and get more life experience you'll figure out how to state your opinion without belittling others in the process.
Title: Re: In a relationship?
Post by: JakeDenver on May 22, 2010, 10:07:51 PM
I just got out of a year long relationship. Its complicated still. I am beginning to realize i need to work on my own life before involving others. Marriage probably not. I do want a partner to live with and grow old with but i think marriage is over rated. Kids yes I want kids. My dream is to adopt a special needs child.
Title: Re: In a relationship?
Post by: Al James on May 22, 2010, 10:19:21 PM
In a civil partnership at minute but will have to divorve her someday so i can re marry her.
Title: Re: In a relationship?
Post by: Chamillion on May 22, 2010, 11:13:45 PM
I've been with my gf for about 4 months

I'd like to get married but not for a long time

Undecided on kids
Title: Re: In a relationship?
Post by: Basiliximab on May 23, 2010, 12:36:51 AM
I'm in a complicated situation: I believe we've settled on being "committed room-mates". We were together for seven years, engaged for about three I believe. We want to stay together long-term, but not as a couple; we just like the relationship we have living together.

That being said however, I still want to live on my own--part-time; I want to live in a different city every three to five years, however my room-mate's job does not allow him to do this. Which is fine with me, 'cause I actually really want to live on my own for a while at least and see if it's as great as I remember it being. I love my own space, and was very surprised I was able to live with my room-mate for as long as I have lived with him.

Whether or not there will be anymore than this committed room-mate relationship I have—perhaps with someone else—I cannot say. I am not going to be looking. But if something happens, then I will go from there. For now though, I plan to be on my own for most of the time and will be happy with that.

Marriage--most likely not. I don't really see the point, at least for me.


Definitely no kids. Don't like most of them. Don't care for the responsibility, the expense... the noise. Yeah, so no kids for me.
Title: Re: In a relationship?
Post by: brainiac on May 23, 2010, 10:27:05 PM
I've been in a relationship with my partner/boyfriend for three years. He's amazing. We were close friends for a while, and we waited to date until I felt ready for a relationship (hoo boy did he take that the wrong way... he thought I was speaking in Girl and rejecting him). He was the first person I came out to, around a year ago, and to this day I'm still astonished that he's taken it this well and been this supportive. He identifies(d?) as straight and his previous relationship was with someone extremely abusive (which I won't go into detail about) effectively began transitioning without telling him and then eventually came out as FTM. He tends not to be attracted to the very androgynous or masculine-looking type of girl. So you would think that once I told him, he'd flee.

But through all of his fears and worries, all legitimate, some rational and some not so much (just like mine), he's stood by me. He's been open about how he felt, made many, many compromises and sacrifices to support me, he listened to my own fears and helped me fight my demons. Having both come from dependent relationships, we knew what to watch out for and have built an open, trusting and healthy relationship. He really is my partner and my best friend.

Even if we end up not being able to be together in the end, I know that I won't for a second regret the time we spent together. But still, I hope that we can have a life together and raise some brats of our own. I think we'd both make good daddies, with a little work. ;)
Title: Re: In a relationship?
Post by: accord03 on May 23, 2010, 11:05:31 PM
Woah!  :) It's great to know that there are bio straight males who accepts FTM. I didn't know and wouldn't think.



Title: Re: In a relationship?
Post by: aydan_boy on May 24, 2010, 04:56:55 AM
Had a boyfriend up to yesterday..  ::)
I'm way too young to know about the other two, but i want to adopt a kid for sure when I'm older.  Maybe marry someone if i end up really clicking with them.
Title: Re: In a relationship?
Post by: Alessandro on May 24, 2010, 09:08:21 AM
I am in a relationship with another ftm type - genderqueer more specifically but its all complicated and meh - anyway we identify as a gay male couple.  We're dead happy and it all works out well!

As for the future I don't believe in marriage and I don't want children.  One thing I have been adamant about since I was a kid myself is that kids are not for me.  I do however want a kit-car and a lot of vintage clothing.   :laugh:
Title: Re: In a relationship?
Post by: brainiac on May 24, 2010, 02:17:11 PM
Quote from: accord03 on May 23, 2010, 11:05:31 PM
Woah!  :) It's great to know that there are bio straight males who accepts FTM. I didn't know and wouldn't think.
Like I said, he's amazing. :D He knew the label "gay" didn't fit him, and he was worried that being attracted to an FTM/genderqueer person meant that was how he had to identify. After some soul-searching and talking, he's found some approximation of his identity with "queer" or somewhere around "straight".

And I mean, if I were to completely transition, chances are we couldn't really be together, as he is attracted to female bodies (and honestly, male minds). But for now, we're still figuring out what we both need.
Title: Re: In a relationship?
Post by: Walter on May 24, 2010, 05:22:20 PM
I just got out of a relationship with a MtF I was with online

It was a good relationship but in the end we didn't have much in common. She was the politcal, book-smart intelligent type..where I'm the one who loves to talk about completely different things. Weather, languages, video games, Otherkin, mythological creatures, the beach, ect. I hate political discussions so...I'm just looking to find anyone who's a crazy video gamer like myself
Title: Re: In a relationship?
Post by: elvistears on May 24, 2010, 06:17:23 PM
Rolf...the Sound of Music?
Title: Re: In a relationship?
Post by: Muddy on May 24, 2010, 06:28:23 PM
Quote from: accord03 on May 22, 2010, 12:16:48 AM
I see there are people in here who can't take questions  ::)
I went to a great school so we did learn about sex ed but I fully block out the thought that FTMs would get pregnant when they're transitioning or when they claim they're an FTM. It is putting yourself and the child at risk but I don't THINK I mind if you do it before you start T, as long as you claim yourself to be a daddy after.


Nice to know some people are married and some wanting kids  :P

Wow, who appointed you the king of bodies and parenting?

My son will continue to call me mom for as long as he wants.

Post Merge: May 24, 2010, 06:39:15 PM

To answer the original question:

I already have a biological son, whom I gave birth to, as well as two stepsons from my deceased husband.

My girlfriend and I are nearing our one year anniversary, and fully intend to marry down the road.
No more kids though!  Please god, NO MORE!
Title: Re: In a relationship?
Post by: Walter on May 24, 2010, 07:18:24 PM
Quote from: elvistears on May 24, 2010, 06:17:23 PM
Rolf...the Sound of Music?

No x3 I didn't know anyone was named that in the movie
Title: Re: In a relationship?
Post by: s1ncere on May 24, 2010, 11:19:16 PM
Me and my ex broke up 5 months ago...we were together for 4 and a half years.....within those 5 months we did not have any communication until yesterday....hopefully she and I can work things out. I love that girl..she is the one I want to marry and have a family with one day...
Title: Re: In a relationship?
Post by: accord03 on May 24, 2010, 11:44:52 PM
Good luck s1ncere - get her back!!
Title: Re: In a relationship?
Post by: s1ncere on May 25, 2010, 01:14:32 AM
Quote from: accord03 on May 24, 2010, 11:44:52 PM
Good luck s1ncere - get her back!!

thanks bro  :)
Title: Re: In a relationship?
Post by: Walter on May 25, 2010, 01:37:24 AM
A weird update

I just got in a relationship with someone I know online today. Me and him get along pretty well, it's just I never thought he liked me until he told me he did. I liked him too it's just it never really crossed my mind

So far he seems pretty cool to be in a relationship with
Title: Re: In a relationship?
Post by: Arch on May 25, 2010, 01:51:41 AM
Rolling
On the
Loor
Flaughing
Title: Re: In a relationship?
Post by: Walter on May 25, 2010, 03:39:27 AM
Quote from: Arch on May 25, 2010, 01:51:41 AM
Rolling
On the
Loor
Flaughing

:D