Poll
Question:
how supportive are you to others?
Option 1: i'm everyone's "go to" person , with no one to actually go to
votes: 7
Option 2: i give a lot of support , get support in return
votes: 4
Option 3: not really good at supporting people but i do what i can
votes: 2
Option 4: i try what i can but my friends are really doing what they can too
votes: 1
Option 5: i prefere actions if i can help , not a big fan of sharing emotions either , i do what i can for myself
votes: 1
Option 6: i prefere to avoid such situations , i either screw things up or feel unncissarely down myself
votes: 1
being more of a good listener more than a talker , and being very discrete irl about everything put me in the role of being the one everyone calls or go to when they are in trouble or feeling down , only then most of the time unfortunately
yet , when i'm the one who wants to talk to someone , for some reason (that i'm trying to analyze here) there's none
even though i rarely talk with them about my problems , but when i do it usually goes something like this
me: i'm losing my job , failing college , my insurance , and i might have to join the army which would be hell to me and end of life , and i'm really trying hard to not think suicidal
other person : yeah that's bad sorry :-\ , hey why don't you let me be the one who tells your mom about that stuff i need to gain her trust
me: nah i prefer to be the one who tells her all that
other person: but!..eh never mind , anyway , i feel so angry , my boss at work really hates me and i don't know what to do ........'and he goes on talking about that '
another person kept asking me to fix their router!
and at my final try with a 3rd person she kept complaining about her fiancee
*rolls eyes* thank god i have my blog
how about you ? do you get the support you need?
also another question , and this one is important
what do you expect from people as support? ( i don't know what i expect)
I seem to be the one that everyone comes to, But when it comes my own problems, well they are my own problems. I was always taught that what is private stays that way.
And the few times I have tried to explain things I am always shot down by their problems.
Everyone seems to come to me with their issues, but I only really have one friend IRL that I can be REALLY open with.
I'm the most streetwise and generally world-wise person among my group of friends, most of the time I like being the one who knows everything but when I need help of my own it's a pain in the ass :P
Not to be dark but...For awhile there I felt like I was watching everyone around me drown and they were all looking to me to save them, when I don't know how to swim, I just happened to be on a one person raft.
I think the best support would be to know they are all going to be o.k. and maybe for me to have someone to sleep next to at night. That's all the support I need.
Everyone keeps coming to me for relationship advice. Even the celibate & closeted gay boy in denial!
It's cute.
I do what I can to help, and in turn I know I have people to lean on if I ever really need to.
I have an SO and son with 2 young children that I help a lot financially and emotionally. I actually don't mind helping and all I expect is a thank you. On the other hand I have MS, a chronic neurological condition and occasionally I have an exasperation. It affects my mobility and my vision.
When this happens I'd like to think I would get some support but mostly it's just business as usual which is OK with me as I have a fierce independent streak. Perhaps I really don't know what to do with compassion.
When I need someone to support me, all I ask is that they listen to what I have to say and try to understand. I trust most of the people in my life to do that for me if I need it. Though, to be honest, I'm not the type to talk about my feelings much with other people, I'm more a go-and-be-alone-to-think kind of person, it makes me feel really uncomfortable to show my weakness in front of others.
People tend to talk to me about stuff because I won't tell anyone anything about it, I'm a good listener and fairly bombproof. I care, but I'm so level-headed I never freak out (in front of the person, at any rate. I once had a kind of 'delayed shock reaction' to finding out a friend of mine was suicidal). :P
I prefer to handle my own problems and do not want to hear anyone's problems. Life is full of problems and most are of our own doing. The name of the game is survival not happiness.
I listen when I have to, share when I must. But the real moral support in my life comes from my friends liking to have me around. I don't need much else.