I was born male but my demeaner is female. My doctor signed form to change my gender on my license here is my question once I get my new license with F does that mean I still use men bathroom or female Restrooms? tryed Google that question but did not find anything
use which everyone you are presenting. If you are full time then is it the ladies room for you, young lady.
Yeah, if you're presenting as female, use the women's restroom. And if anyone challenges you, at least your ID says "F."
As my noble colleagues have said.
Female because you are female.
Cindy
I use mostly the mens room, I simply don't pass unless I have put in an hour of work at it geting dressed and made up. Just don't have the gumption to do all that every day.
Now if I am confidant I am passing I use the ladys room.
I have a criminal record, theoreticaly if I get caught on the minorest of infractions I can be seriously screwed and do many many years behind something others would get fined for. (part of my last plea agreement) I made my bed, I can lay in it. I do not fancy being arrested over takeing a piss and having the judge decide that I have demonstated an inability to adjust to societies rules and conventions. Wouldn't be very good for me. I have done time in prisons that had some transwomen. Guess where they did their time? In public cells in the general population. Not a prospect I would want to face now. They HAD to become whores to stay safe.
/shivers
If you're presenting as female, use the ladies room. I do.
While the conservative riech wants to put a police officer at the door of every restroom to check ID's to make sure that those ->-bleeped-<- perverts don't rape our daughters while they are in the restroom, they have yet to manage to do it.
As a result it doesn't matter what is on your drivers license, no one is going to look at it.
If you use the bathroom of the gender that you are presenting you will have a lot fewer problems than if you used the restroom of the gender you were born.
What ever restroom you do use, go with confidence and self assurance, do your business, and leave.
-Sandy
its really important to be confident...knowing you belong means you belong...
I use the womans room. I am full time and pass pretty well and you will find the mens room a very dangerous place if you are dressed as a female. Early on I used unisex bathrooms and even carried a pee bottle so I could go in a emergency. I used the mens room once when presenting as a female and was verbally degraded. My DL is now F and I have a letter from my therapist so I think I would be OK with the law. Having said that you still have to be very careful and try not to draw attention to yourself. Most but not all women are very understanding.
Pam
I've heard a lot of rumors but I'm not sure what the actual laws are on restroom use. I would say that if your ID says F and you've gotten those kinda of letters from your therapist, you should be fine. Obviously you are female and if the trans issue ends up being addressed in confusion (which of course we hope will never happen) you shouldn't have trouble with the law. I'd say go for it. I like how Cindy put it, do what feels right.
I never had issues, but i do pass really well, even before my ID said F i was using the female bathroom
i never got second glanced at or any flack
I think (hope I am correct) I am passing well in the public, so I went to female rest room if I am in female mode. no issue so far. but I just wonder if I still need to get a letter from therapist, just in case. Special I am living in Texas. Should I?
I would suggest, you should do whatever it takes to avoid problems.
If you are in a fairly easy going area then use the facilities that make you feel comfortable.
But if you are in one of those uptight areas, then avoiding problems would seem to be more important.
Quote from: koolstacy on June 03, 2010, 10:59:55 PM
I was born male but my demeaner is female. My doctor signed form to change my gender on my license here is my question once I get my new license with F does that mean I still use men bathroom or female Restrooms? tryed Google that question but did not find anything
Since when do you need a license to use the restroom... my license still says M, i cannot change it without SRS, but i use the women's bathroom, heh, if i go into the men's bathroom i think i would freak out a lot of men who would be frantically shouting that i am in the wrong bathroom. ^_^
I think legally if your living full time as a woman even without papers (since you have to go through 1 yr life experience to qualify for surgery anyway) you can use the women's bathroom.
I don't know what the laws are - I don't think there's anything consistent. I've been following the "use the bathroom for the gender you present as" standard with no issues so far.
Documentation's been the least of my worries, personally, as no carry letter is going to protect me from what would happen if the wrong person took offense to my bringing girl parts to the men's room. For you though...in the ladies' room you're more likely to have the cops/management called than get beaten and raped, so the documentation would likely provide a layer of protection. And if you're employed it probably helps for dealing with your employer.
I am now post-op but i started using the ladies room as soon as i went full time dressing,if you act like belong most of the time people won't even pay any notice(ladies are usually not as uptight as men)The new Standards of Care say you go to the bathroom of the gender you identify with!!!
I know been using female bathrooms at first my heart was realy beating, it's was inside. Tsrget store, know u just walk in them like nothing Is wrong I only had one lady give me they look I smiled and walked past her. I even went inside the females bathroom St a major amusement park nothing happen. one day I was washing my hands when my former neighbor and her kid came in her 10 year old called me by my former name and said your in the lady's bathroom. I said i know her mom got security and security while in bathroom said to her nothing we can do. She is dot a man can go into female bathrooms? Gaurd said yep. at least in this amusement park. Now changing room's I pretty much Have to show my id to use the female dressing room's
The laws are so different between place and have, as ever, not caught up with public opinion.
Where I am the police verbally state very clearly to go to the toilet of your appearance. If you are presenting as female go to the ladies loo. If you present as male go to the male loo. If you are a MtF who doesn't present very well have a consider. If you are an FtM who doesn't present well consider. We have personal choices and need to think through them.
The law may be (is) completely the opposite, 'male' sex go to male toilets, 'female' sex go to female toilets. It is an offense to go to the 'wrong' sex toilets. Guess what? The great legislators forgot to look up the difference between sexuality and gender. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
The law is based on sexuality and not gender.
So I use the ladies quite legally. And no politician wants to go back and 'correct' the mistake. But you do have to be careful, but we have to be careful about lots
Cindy
As a rule, I use the ladies' room at this point, because I've started RLE. If some place where I'm a regular customer takes issue, that place will simply be taken out of rotation (with a polite explanation to management or their corporate website).
There are exceptions, such as at the office while the corporate lawyers get up to speed on how to avoid an international incident. The situation isn't expected to remain this way for long.
here in th eUk we have the silly situation of their not being any laws that say toilets must be male only or female only but people trying to use the wrong one get lots of grief.
having a letter from doctor or therapist saying you are transitioning is a legal help but might not help much if confronted by someone wanting to make trouble.
The first time I ever used the womens' room was after my therapist gave me my letter... she had to go really bad and so did I so we both ran to the ladies' room while talking. Chatted briefly in the stalls, and she was off to the next client.
There I was, sitting in the womens' room for the first time, going... well... huh. She told me "For god's sake, don't use the mens' room anymore. It isn't safe." And that was even back before estrogen. She was right though, ever since I shaved my beard, years prior, I got a lot of bad stares in the mens' room. It still took me several months to feel comfortable doing it.
For a good 5 or so months I couldn't use the restroom at work without a LOT of grief from customers and comments of mistaken identity from coworkers, so I just didn't use it until I FINALLY got to transition, then womens' all the way.
It was awkward, back before I was out at work, when female customers would come to me and ask me to help with problems in the womens' room.
Once I started transition if I was presenting as female I used the female bathrooms and never had a problem.
On going fulltime at work one of the female employees questioned which bathroom I would be using and was quickly told by management, the female. I heard she wasn't to happy about that decision. What was so silly about her question is that the female toilet/bathroom only has one cubicle so can only be used by one person at a time. Oh well, she got over it quickly.
Quote from: Dinky_Di on August 01, 2010, 05:04:24 AM
Once I started transition if I was presenting as female I used the female bathrooms and never had a problem.
On going fulltime at work one of the female employees questioned which bathroom I would be using and was quickly told by management, the female. I heard she wasn't to happy about that decision. What was so silly about her question is that the female toilet/bathroom only has one cubicle so can only be used by one person at a time. Oh well, she got over it quickly.
I was lucky the bathroom issue didn't come up at work at all. There are 3 restrooms in the building and all are unisex with a toilet and a sink. No stalls. Made that a non-issue.
Jay
i have been noticing that more business are adding a unisex/family bathroom.
Good luck with your srs. :-)