I've been meaning to post about this for a while, but Greg mentioned it in the passing thread and reminded me.
Does anyone else here feel that they've developed a bit of gender blindness?
I think we're probably some of the worst people to ask about passing, as after a while, I've found that I can't tell the difference between androgynous men and women at all anymore.
I also find that I've started to look at the smaller details rather than the bigger picture. I look at the details in a persons facial structure, hairline, hands and how they walk, etc.
I guess now I know that there's all varieties of gender out there, I'm finding it harder to distinguish between male and female and somewhere in between.
Yep, I've misgendered non-trans people that other people don't have a problem identifying the gender of. I am getting over it a little now though.
I'm a bad judge of these kinds of things, although I can't compare it to how good I was at it before since I didn't really try/care/notice.
I have a slight problem with gender-blindness too. For me, I think it's because I tend to look beyond physical features and really wonder how the person might identify. If they are trans or gay, or maybe just masculine, or maybe trans but really feminine, etc... I over-analyze people and end up just confusing myself
Yeah, I definitely analyse people far more regarding their gender. Anyone else would see male or female, but I've started to look deeper.
I'm really trying to put into words how to explain it but I'm struggling. I'd agree with it probably being caused by over analysing.
I suppose I've learned not to judge people by physical appearance, even though that is what the vast majority of society wants.
I've noticed that the longer I look at a picture, the harder it becomes to figure out someone's gender...because then you start noticing all the subtle masculine or feminine features someone has, and everyone has a little of both.
Until this site I never knew people even cared really about what gender you appear to be. My sister taught me that girls observe and talk about every little detail they learn about other people, from clothes they wear to how they walk or what and how they eat. I could never understand that. She and the other girls could tel me who wore what pair of undies last week tuesday. I just didn't care.
As a cisfemale, I never really thought about a person's gender for most of my life. I just vaguely assumed people I met or observed were either A or B, one way or another. That was the case even though I had tenuous links with both trans and intersex people. IOW my head knew there were more options than A and B, but my instant assessment tended to overlook that knowledge.
However, in the two years since my friend came out to me, I've started seeing almost everything in terms of spectrums. No need to make an assessment - just let the situation remain fluid. It's not that I pick up on anything in particular - it's just that my mind can more easily encompass the idea of non-labeling.
I should add that my daughter, who is an almost qualified kindergarten teacher, finds that in her academic work she often queries the assumptions made by "experts" about young children's gender and sexuality. I hope that she is a sign of the future.
Well that explains it! :D I'm not in the business of dashing people's hopes, so I generally keep my mouth shut unless I can offer a helpful suggestion, but I've often thought that the folks responding to a lot of "Do I Pass" threads wouldn't be able to tell a person's birth gender even if that person dropped their pants for them. ;)
That being said, though, I find myself mixing up pronouns when thinking about cis-gendered people all the time. It's like I've gotten into the habit of reversing pronouns.
Quote from: Jamie-o on June 05, 2010, 07:49:04 PM
...I find myself mixing up pronouns when thinking about cis-gendered people all the time. It's like I've gotten into the habit of reversing pronouns.
Wow, I have too. I guess it makes sense. We focus so much on correcting people to use male pronouns with us the "switching" mentality branches out.
When I go to the local gay club around here I can never figure out who in the crowd are masculine women and who are feminine men. Everybody just looks the same!
Quote from: Ryan on June 05, 2010, 04:29:46 PMI think we're probably some of the worst people to ask about passing
I think you might be right. Maybe we shouldn't be asking each other if we pass or not because I think we're all a bit blind.
I remember first coming to this forum and when people asked about whether or not they passed, and people were like, "of course you do!" I was thinking... they don't pass at all!
Completely agree there, Lachlann. I often find myself disagreeing with opinions in the passing thread.
The best way to find out if you pass is just by putting yourself in situations where strangers will pronoun you.
Yeah, I agree with most of what's been said here... I find myself analyzing people's gender/gender expression far more than most people would, (and ending up more confused than when I first met the person,) and I'd have to agree that we're all quite likely terrible at judging who's passing or not.
What we really need is just to get a nice sample group of cis-gendered people on here to vote on whether or not we pass.
*raises hand*
Going to gay bars confuses the crap out of me sometimes. It can be impossible to gender some people one way or another. Then I get all "oh man what if they're trans, you never know" - I tend to stick with "they...them" instead of "he/she" so I don't piss anyone off :P
If anything, I now look at people's features now more than ever and think in my head sometimes...how is that person read as male or female? Cause of ______. When a normal person would never question that thing on that person.
I don't know if any of you guys use Tumblr, but there's a Tumblr page called "Lesbians Who Look Like Justin Bieber." (It's not meant to be offensive, people usually submit pics of themselves) That page confuses the HELL out of me. After looking at all the pictures for a while, my brain has gone from "Yeah she does kind of look like Justin Bieber," to "Wait, is that even a GIRL?" I just can't tell anymore. xD
^^ That's cause poor Mr. Bieber has yet to really enter puberty. When I hear him sing, I always catch myself comparing my pitch and tone with his...even though mine was lower than his to begin with. And I secretly wonder how many people think it's a girl singing.
Quote from: LucienOctopus on June 07, 2010, 01:45:23 PM
I don't know if any of you guys use Tumblr, but there's a Tumblr page called "Lesbians Who Look Like Justin Bieber." (It's not meant to be offensive, people usually submit pics of themselves) That page confuses the HELL out of me. After looking at all the pictures for a while, my brain has gone from "Yeah she does kind of look like Justin Bieber," to "Wait, is that even a GIRL?" I just can't tell anymore. xD
Ha same! The worst is when they post an actual picture of Bieber and I think to myself "Yeah she looks like Bieber" then I realise it really is the Biebmeister.
Quote from: LucienOctopus on June 07, 2010, 01:45:23 PM
I don't know if any of you guys use Tumblr, but there's a Tumblr page called "Lesbians Who Look Like Justin Bieber." (It's not meant to be offensive, people usually submit pics of themselves) That page confuses the HELL out of me. After looking at all the pictures for a while, my brain has gone from "Yeah she does kind of look like Justin Bieber," to "Wait, is that even a GIRL?" I just can't tell anymore. xD
YES! I can't believe they're all girls! I bet a fair few would get a yes in the passing thread.
What's even worse is that there's another page called "Boys Who Look Like Lesbians Who Look Like Justin Bieber." :icon_dizzy:
Quote from: LucienOctopus on June 07, 2010, 01:45:23 PM
I don't know if any of you guys use Tumblr, but there's a Tumblr page called "Lesbians Who Look Like Justin Bieber." (It's not meant to be offensive, people usually submit pics of themselves) That page confuses the HELL out of me. After looking at all the pictures for a while, my brain has gone from "Yeah she does kind of look like Justin Bieber," to "Wait, is that even a GIRL?" I just can't tell anymore. xD
Hahaha, yes I've seen that.
I haven't taken much of a look at it, though.