Since starting T, have you had any changes that you didn't expect? That other people never mention in their transition videos or blogs?
I've had a few that have come as quite a surprise to me as many people find them to personal.
1. A FAR more regular digestive system. I've suffered with constipation since I was young. 2 months on T and everything is completely normal.
2. Dick irritation. I found that whilst my dick was growing quite fast, it started to rub against my boxers and would be very uncomfortable. Really wasn't expecting that one.
3. Dryness "down there". This can also make everything a bit itchy and uncomfortable when moving around.
4. Orgasms have changed. Feel far different than they used to. Less intense, but easier to achieve.
I'll post any more as I think of them.
It helped your digestive system? That's fascinating. I've never heard anyone mention that kind of effect before. I hope it does the same for me when I eventually start T; I've had problems with constipation my whole life.
As for the others, I think I've heard a few guys say that their downstairs got really sensitive. You're right about not hearing much about these changes though.
Yeah, it's amazing. Throughout my entire life I've suffered with pretty severe constipation. Infact, I was taken to hospital when I was young after going for 6 weeks without a movement.
It became so much a part of my life that I didn't really think about ever getting better.
Then two months on T and it's fine! Movements are more regular and far softer.
My dick never really got sensitive as such. It was constantly rubbing and getting irritated on clothing. It soon desensitized. I've found that it responds less when I start to masturbate, like it's just ignoring it. Once I become erect, it's fine.
That may be TMI, but that's partly what this thread is about :)
6 weeks! Dude. I had to go to hospital for that once too. Oh the shame.
And another time I went to camp and didn't crap the entire time because I'd invented this stupid game which involved running laps around the toilets and the number of laps you did corresponded to what yr friend was doing in there. It really caught on, and I didn't want to get caught out by my own game.
So everytime I just couldn't do it.
I hope T sorts out my digestion issues.
elvistears: I think T speeds up your metabolism, so that may be why. If so, you're probably gonna be in luck.
One of the girls PMed me to say that once she started E, she started getting constipation. So it looks like it may be a hormonal thing!
I generally just refused to go to the toilet (for number 2) as a child. I hated the feeling so I didn't go. Which lead to quite the bad habit of putting off going even in recent years.
5. Body/genital odour change. Possibly more well known, but still not something I ever see mentioned in videos. My dick smells SO much different. Far more dick-like. According to friends and family, my general all over smell has also changed.
The only thing I can think of it that my laugh has changed but I suppose that would be obvious since it's voice related.
This is unrelated but no one ever told me not to store my packer in a cupboard next to a bottle of lavender essential oil. Now I have a lavender scented packer.
yup. the digestive thing. almost everytime after eating. haha. kind of makes you think about how going out to eat would turn out. :O
Quote from: Greg on June 05, 2010, 05:17:11 PM
This is unrelated but no one ever told me not to store my packer in a cupboard next to a bottle of lavender essential oil. Now I have a lavender scented packer.
Lol. I've also discovered that, if you have more than one silicone "member", you don't want to store them one on top of the other. Apparently silicone reacts chemically with itself, and they can end up melting together. :eusa_doh:
But as far as things people never mention - I'm not sure if it's related, but I burp a lot more than I used to. :D
Yeah I've always had crazy digestion issues. Like it either happens too much, or not at all. It was also a bit stress/depression related. Once I started presenting as male I actually felt like it calmed down a lot because I was so much happier.
I hope I get a faster metabolism on T, because I often eat like a gross dude and I want to stay straight up and down like my mates! And then hopefully not die of heart disease...
It's either processed or organic for me.
Quote from: Ryan on June 05, 2010, 05:14:34 PM
Body/genital odour change. Possibly more well known, but still not something I ever see mentioned in videos. My dick smells SO much different. Far more dick-like. According to friends and family, my general all over smell has also changed.
I definitly noticed a change in body odour, for the worst actually. I never really had great body odour before but not its become more noticeable and much stronger. Very um...guy smelling. Also the downstairs area does smell different.
I remember when i was younger and i use to go into my parents room of a morning, it have this very mmale smell from my dad and i couldnt stand it. Now, when i wake up of a morning go out of my room to us ethe bathroom then walk back in, woof, hit in the face with the exact same smell...Also, more musty smelling. Can't exactly put my finger on what it smells like, just very typical guyish.
Again, if this is TMI, but the smell of my urine has changed. A lot strogner, just like when u walk into the male bathroom, the smell is much more overpowering :-\
Yes, it is far more drier down there which does make it painful most times when i need to 'destress' ;)
I actually wrote down a whole list of chnanges the other night and was going to make a vid on it but i've seem to have misplaced it....
I've not noticed my pee smelling different. How odd :P
Another one for me: I'm enjoying FPS video games far more. Hahaha.
If you are having dryness issues you might want to talk to your doc about getting some estrace vaginal cream. It is a low dose of E that only effects the local area. So you don't have to worry about messing up your HRT. It is basicaly just a maintanance dose.
This is how the problem was solved when Sevan ran into it. Hir T is still well in the male range and E still well below female range. S/he was worried it might raise hir E back to female levels but that simply isnt going to happen. The product only needs to be ussed a couple of times a month.
just tryin' to help
:)
It's interesting that some of you experience dryness. Some guys experience a lot more lubrication after T.
Actually, I've written about my own digestive miracle on other threads here. I used to have a terrible time with all sorts of foods--dairy, fruit, grains, anything with a lot of carbs. I would get the runs pretty bad--I ran to the toilet again and again, lol. I also had that problem at that time of the month. Now I can eat pretty much anything without digestive problems. Unfortunately, I went a little crazy and gained back some of the weight I worked so hard to lose.
I like my new body odor. It smells right to me.
One thing I didn't realize was that I would perspire more. I mean, I knew I would get more underarm perspiration, but I didn't expect crotch perspiration. Actually, I don't mind that. What I do mind is that I sweat more all over my body. I didn't expect that, and now that the weather is warmer, I can see quite clearly that the hottest months are going to be very unpleasant. I tend to wear nothing but Levi's; now I'm rethinking that because Levi's are so heavy. I guess I need lighter-weight pants. But they have to have a watch pocket. Can't live without it. Do Dockers have one?
ETA: I used to have a terrible time with dryness down there, I think because I had a hormone imbalance. Now it's not a problem anymore...at all. ::)
Oh no, I planning to go on T right before summer. With that and binding I hope I don't sweat too much. Worth it tho.
Quote from: elvistears on June 05, 2010, 08:55:09 PMOh no, I planning to go on T right before summer. With that and binding I hope I don't sweat too much. Worth it tho.
It took a long time for the sweating phenomenon to start. I was on T in February 2009, and I didn't have a problem that summer. With that said, I hope you can afford top surgery soon. Binders in the summer suck.
Quote from: Arch on June 05, 2010, 08:57:16 PM
It took a long time for the sweating phenomenon to start. I was on T in February 2009, and I didn't have a problem that summer. With that said, I hope you can afford top surgery soon. Binders in the summer suck.
Finding this out now in the unusal warm weather in NE this year. What sucks, is that my body is good at regulating my body temp, but because the temp, under the binder doesn't cool off well, the rest of me overheats, and I die.
Quote from: DavisJ86 on June 05, 2010, 10:29:49 PM
Finding this out now in the unusal warm weather in NE this year. What sucks, is that my body is good at regulating my body temp, but because the temp, under the binder doesn't cool off well, the rest of me overheats, and I die.
Totally off topic.....however.....i HOPE this means more pool time with me lol :) Selfish I know....
Also there is definitely a different smell..all over...including well yea, you get the point.
I find in the mornings I'm VERY wet down there. Not every morning but I kind of feel like it's my own body's version of "morning wood" lol. And the smell!!! Yea...definitly a different smell.
Cynthia and I had gone to the mall not so long ago and I took off my clothes to try something on after having walked around the mall and I caught wiff of myself and damn near hesitated to put on the clothes I'd wanted to try on!!! Sheesh.
My sense of smell has increased for sure.
Ryan your story about your digestive system is almost exactly like mine! I'd hold it because I didn't like the feeling and clog the toilet almost every single time I went to the bathroom as a kid. As a result my gut has been a mess since. Thankfully T's smoothed that out for me! (mostly)
When it's not morning time *hem* I do deal with some dryness issues and yea, I was perscribed Estrace cream. It does contain estrogen but in very low doses and it isn't systemic. It's not had any effect on my hormones but it has brought back the natural wet that I need to not be utterly uncomfortable. I figure...while our brains may need T...our vagina's (for those that have them...) need E. *shrugs* Better than that being super uncomfortable! That's for sure.
The other thing I've noticed is how corse my pubic hair is! I didn't expect that to change. I knew the rest of my body hair would get courser...but I guess I didn't think about THAT changing. Bugs me.
Quote from: phx_rising on June 05, 2010, 11:32:08 PM
My sense of smell has increased for sure.
That reminds me of another one. I've actually lost much of my sense of smell. I think I mentioned this once before. There were a few guys at work whose cologne I used to find a little overwhelming, and now I don't even notice it unless I'm right next to them. I also don't notice the smell of the cat box or of dogs as readily. Makes me worry a little that I might stink, or (on the rare occasions when I use it) go too heavy on the cologne, and not even realize it. :embarrassed:
Mean body temperature, and 'feeling the cold'.
I'm not meaning hot flushes as the hormones level out, I'm meaning just day to day "Do I need a jacket?".
It's just started winter here, and I still can't wear long sleeves during the day.
I've always worn "average guy" layers. I've never really felt the cold that badly. But after starting T? I'm the guy wearing a t-shirt in the middle of winter.
All my (cis-male) coworkers are running around in jumpers and big lined jackets, and I'm just not feeling cold.
Which sucks, because I have some very nice jackets I'd really like to be wearing. The most I can do is a long sleeve shirt or a summer weight blazer when it's "really cold" (ie, everyone else is freezing to death!).
Oh, and my hands are always warm now. They used to freeze up when it got really cold. Weird.
Teknoir - hearing that makes me so happy. You have no idea. I'm always freezing.
I've heard mixed things about emotions. One guy I knew was a bit loopy before T then when he was on it he completely numbed out. People don't often talk about the psychological differences on T. That and bum hair...this one guy I know won't shut up about how furry his crack is getting from T. Other things include muscular/joint pain because some people feel as if their muscles are growing to fast for their bodies.
Teknoir: i've noticed the same thing. I feel like i'm always hot, or that my body temperature has increased. I use to die in the winter, even though it was about 6/7 degrees celcius but now, it has to be rly rly cold for me to feel it. I was just walking around in boxers and a t-shirts when it was7-10 degrees celcius...interesting.
The digestive probs for me, went when I had my hysto. The T changed em but did not stop em.
Since I started on a T-blocker and E, I've had the opposite experience. Constipation, which hadn't been a problem before, has become a frequent issue now. And my "manly" odors are pretty much gone.
So this thread is illuminating even to my MTF perspective.
emotionally I feel way more relaxed except when something REALLY hurts me. Last week I was thinking about a past relationship that I really wished would've worked out and felt immense pain in my chest. Not a physical pain. Not actual heart pain or chest pain but like my soul just wanted to die. I couldn't cry at all, though. I had to go to work with this huge feeling and no way to let the feeling out. It probably would've been better if I could've worked out or something but I couldn't.
Pre-T I could've cried or at least felt the emotion in a different way to let some of that energy out. It was impossible for me to let go of the feeling and it actually hurt.
Ryan, hmm that's funny that you mentioned the constipation clearing up, as i've noticed something similar.
I've had fairly severe IBS since i was a little kid. Basically, i would either be constipated or having awful diarrhea. There was one summer where on average i'd have diarrhea about 11 times A DAY. It was terrible. I used to have to see all of these specialist and it's created a lot of anxiety for me. I tried EVERYTHING to help. Nothing worked. I tried different medications, and supplements. Finally, i gave up. IBS isn't curable, so i figured i'd just have to live with it.
Welll, ever since i started T, my IBS has almost completely gone away! It's basically gone. I still get diarrhea or constipation every once in awhile, but it's really hardly ever. Like maybe once every few weeks. Which is much more manageable than multiple times a day. I'm SOOO happy about it. I used to get really depressed about having so many stomach problems, and it caused me to miss a lot of school, and i didn't even get my driver's license because of it.
T has helped A LOT!! My stomach doesn't hurt all the time now either.
My body temperature has definitely gone up. Now I am always hot. I started T on December 31st and the rest of the winter I barely wore a coat. Also, Pre-T I was always cold to the touch. My mom could actually tell if I had a fever depending on whether or not my hands were hot. Now my girlfriend says that I am her own personal space heater.
I had read that I might get warmer on T, so I was expecting that. I thought, "Good; my feet are always cold." Once my feet got cold, I couldn't sleep. I couldn't just go to bed and let my feet warm up; that could take hours. So I had to warm my feet up with my hands or a space heater or a heating pad.
Well, guess what? My body got warmer on T. But my feet still get cold and prevent me from sleeping. That just doesn't make sense to me.
Quote from: Arch on June 06, 2010, 01:41:06 PMMy body got warmer on T. But my feet still get cold and prevent me from sleeping. That just doesn't make sense to me.
My stone cold guess would be that it's circulatory.
Quote from: Vanessa_yhvh on June 06, 2010, 01:49:25 PMMy stone cold guess would be that it's circulatory.
Could be circulation. I should have been getting more exercise (like, any at all), I should have been taking my multivitamin (misplaced the bottle during my move), and I probably should have been drinking more fluids.
I've read that women's bodies, when compared to men's, have "central heating." Something to do with protecting a fetus...apparently, Nature thinks it's okay to lose toes to frostbite as long as the fetus stays warm.
Don't know if that's really true, but I figured that was why my feet took so long to warm up once chilled.
I'm just remembering something my therapist said a couple of weeks ago. One way I coped with my dysphoria was to detach myself from my body--turn off any awareness of it. But, as he pointed out, this didn't just save me from being aware of the obviously gendered parts of my body; it also prevented me from being aware of the rest of it. In the winter, it used to take me hours to notice that my feet were freezing because I was so used to switching myself off and ignoring my body. This winter, I sometimes remembered to put on socks before my feet get too cold. I guess that's progress.
I'm pre-t and my feet get REALLY cold at night no matter what the weather. I remember one evening they turned bluish/purple and had little feeling (yes, probably a major issue). Even if I wear socks they're still cold.
If T fixes/helps this problem I WILL BE SO FLIPPIN' HAPPY!
Ever thought of seeing a doctor about it? Sounds like bad circulation.
I really hope I get warmer on T, my hands and feet get ridiculously cold sometimes.
Quote from: Nygeel on June 06, 2010, 02:27:43 PM
I'm pre-t and my feet get REALLY cold at night no matter what the weather. I remember one evening they turned bluish/purple and had little feeling (yes, probably a major issue). Even if I wear socks they're still cold.
Nygeel, this sounds serious! Did you ever consult a doctor?
I've heard that microwave socks are great for this sort of thing. But so are space heaters, heating pads, hot water bottles, significant others, and large dogs.
No insurance, no job, no money, no doctor. I think that my feet were elevated (over the height my head was at the time) and my knees were bent which could've also been part of it on top of my poor circulation. Significant others might not be too great. I did fall asleep with somebody in my bed and while cuddling she yelped because my feet were so cold.
Quote from: Nygeel on June 06, 2010, 02:42:41 PM
No insurance, no job, no money, no doctor. I think that my feet were elevated (over the height my head was at the time) and my knees were bent which could've also been part of it on top of my poor circulation. Significant others might not be too great. I did fall asleep with somebody in my bed and while cuddling she yelped because my feet were so cold.
My first...uh, bed partner...used to call me "Popsicle Toes." Apparently, there's a song by the same name.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p-zcWpJwhtw# (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p-zcWpJwhtw#)
I think my ex-lover is single again. I wonder if he would be interested in a trans guy. ;D
Quote from: Arch on June 06, 2010, 02:44:26 PM
My first...uh, bed partner...used to call me "Popsicle Toes." Apparently, there's a song by the same name.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p-zcWpJwhtw# (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p-zcWpJwhtw#)
I think my ex-lover is single again. I wonder if he would be interested in a trans guy. ;D
You both could have mild Raynauds - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Raynaud%27s_phenomenon (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Raynaud%27s_phenomenon)
It happens when the temperature drops mostly to me, it happens in my feet, they go ice cold and numb, sometimes they tingle. They also go really pale like almost white and then red when they warm up.
Quote from: Thomas on June 06, 2010, 03:03:54 PMYou both could have mild Raynauds
Cool link--very interesting. But I don't think I have Raynaud's, even a mild form. Nygeel, what about you?
Quote from: Arch on June 06, 2010, 03:23:31 PM
Cool link--very interesting. But I don't think I have Raynaud's, even a mild form. Nygeel, what about you?
My blood pressure is on the low side and my blood sugar goes a little wonkie on occasion. I don't think I have that (Raynaud's phenomenon). It seems like the discoloration has a line as to where it starts and stops, mine didn't. No idear.
Quote from: Nygeel on June 06, 2010, 03:27:16 PM
My blood pressure is on the low side and my blood sugar goes a little wonkie on occasion. I don't think I have that (Raynaud's phenomenon). It seems like the discoloration has a line as to where it starts and stops, mine didn't. No idear.
Put it on your list of things to ask the doctor when you manage to afford one. I can see you going in with a huge list of stuff to take care of all in one visit..."Oh, and one more thing, doctor..."
Quote from: Arch on June 06, 2010, 03:29:54 PM
Put it on your list of things to ask the doctor when you manage to afford one. I can see you going in with a huge list of stuff to take care of all in one visit..."Oh, and one more thing, doctor..."
I'm re-reading it and thinking it's possible, now. I'm just skeptical because well...I don't want to go to the doctor with a huge list of symptoms/experiences and sound like it's all in my head or that I'm seeing things and thinking "OH NOES SOMETHING IS WRONG!"
It's a slowly growing list of things: trans shizznat, everlasting period, pain between my hips when I sneeze/cough/laugh/orgasm, feet going cold/blue, nips hurting and going white/blue, seeing gray when I stand up quickly, feeling off balance randomly...other crap?
Long list already.
Quote from: Nygeel on June 06, 2010, 03:35:41 PM
I'm re-reading it and thinking it's possible, now. I'm just skeptical because well...I don't want to go to the doctor with a huge list of symptoms/experiences and sound like it's all in my head or that I'm seeing things and thinking "OH NOES SOMETHING IS WRONG!"
It's a slowly growing list of things: trans shizznat, everlasting period, pain between my hips when I sneeze/cough/laugh/orgasm, feet going cold/blue, nips hurting and going white/blue, seeing gray when I stand up quickly, feeling off balance randomly...other crap?
Long list already.
Whoa. Free clinic. Free clinic. Nygeel, you gotta get yourself checked out. Somehow.
Quote from: Arch on June 06, 2010, 03:39:01 PM
Whoa. Free clinic. Free clinic. Nygeel, you gotta get yourself checked out. Somehow.
Well...over a year ago I checked myself into the hospital for the stuff between the hips (bleeding, pain, etc). They pretty much said "oh, we'll test for PCOS because we think you look masculine" even though considering my facial structure, body structure and lack of hair for not shaving for 6 years I'm pretty darn feminine. I got stuck with the bill and no answers. Went to planned parenthood they couldn't figure it out so they put me on BC to make it stop/regulate. I ended up coming very close to slashing my DM's tires one day because he just pissed me off and decided I should stop the pills. They were supposed to call me when they got the results of the test from theeeeee hospital or what the hospital tested for so they wouldn't charge me again for that stuff.
Sooo yea. Still job hunting, and the other night a friend said Old Navy is LGBT friendly. Although it's not a place I want to work, I'm hoping to work on a career since I have epic specialty skills but it's not in the cards right now. Might go there, they give benefits to part time employees from what I was told.
(so off topic, now)
Uhhh...has anybody with low blood pressure get a more normal one from T? Does T raise blood pressure?
Yes T raises blood pressure, it is one of the reasons you need a doc when you go on it. T also raises the number of red blood cells in your body, much like pregnancy does but without the added volume of plasma.
Quote from: Nygeel on June 06, 2010, 03:46:07 PMDoes T raise blood pressure?
Hudson's Guide does list that as a possibility, but it's also possible that the jury's still out.
My blood pressure raised for a few months once starting T, it's since regulated back to a nice normal level.
Quote from: Arch on June 06, 2010, 03:55:56 PMHudson's Guide does list that as a possibility, but it's also possible that the jury's still out.
I think it's one of those it might happen and it might not, not a guarantee.
Nygeel, seeing grey when you stand up too quickly is from your blood pressure dropping too quickly. It happens to alot of people but isn't very serious. People with lower blood pressure just need to be mindful of sudden, quick movements.
Quote from: Radar on June 06, 2010, 08:00:00 PM
I think it's one of those it might happen and it might not, not a guarantee.
Nygeel, seeing grey when you stand up too quickly is from your blood pressure dropping too quickly. It happens to alot of people but isn't very serious. People with lower blood pressure just need to be mindful of sudden, quick movements.
There's also just a specific thing that effects you in that situation. It's called orthostatic hypotension, i think. something like that.
I already have high blood pressure. My doctor refuses to give me medication for it, she said i'm to young. Will this be a problem once i get on T?
???
Quote from: Damian on June 06, 2010, 08:19:39 PM
I already have high blood pressure. My doctor refuses to give me medication for it, she said i'm to young. Will this be a problem once i get on T?
I'm wondering that too. I have to take pills for my blood pressure. Hope I can still go on T.
Quote from: Damian on June 06, 2010, 08:19:39 PM
I already have high blood pressure. My doctor refuses to give me medication for it, she said i'm to young. Will this be a problem once i get on T?
???
possibly. before T i was in the 90 range for the top number. now i'm in the 130s. it does depend on your weight though - what's normal for you. i gained a lot of weight too.
I have a friend with high blood pressure. Nobody tried to stop him from starting HRT. He started on a small dose of T and was monitored closely. All okay so far. Must be about a year now.
I have high blood pressure and am on meds for it. I got my T script with no hassles. They just monitor the blood pressure more often at first. Walking and watching your weight make a major difference.
Definitely a faster metabolism. I think my hypothyroidism may be working itself out now cause of it. And so many mroe changes. My taste buds have changed. I'm not cold all the time now. I sweat like a pig. I could go on, but can't think right now.
This thread is really interesting, can't believe how many of you seem to have the same digestive problems as me. How awesome that T could fix it, I had no idea.
I know Jeatyn, I feel the same. It's kind of awesome and exciting. :) I've never had any explanation for my problems with digestion, but now I might just have a fix. *keeps fingers crossed*
Oh yeah, and I can't seem to cry. At all. I'm less sensitive. Which is great.
I can still cry which I didn't expect. Discovered this whilst watching the end of Lost again last night :'(
I can't say I've ever had a digestive problem unless you count a really high metabolism.
My ankles used to feel really weak and sore, especially around my period, but since being on T they feel stronger and I don't get pain anymore.
Ditto Lucien and Jeatyn.
As for the crying thing, I cry a lot. I cry when I'm mad, when I'm sad, when I'm scared, when I'm happy... Just about anytime I'm feeling intense emotion. It gets annoying, but I don't want to lose my ability to cry completely. :-\
Quote from: LucienOctopus on June 07, 2010, 01:40:30 PM
As for the crying thing, I cry a lot. I cry when I'm mad, when I'm sad, when I'm scared, when I'm happy... Just about anytime I'm feeling intense emotion. It gets annoying, but I don't want to lose my ability to cry completely. :-\
I am the same, the anger thing drives me NUTS. I'm yelling at somebody, and then I feel the lump in my throat and my face go red and then come the tears. It's so emasculating.
Quote from: Jeatyn on June 07, 2010, 02:25:01 PM
I am the same, the anger thing drives me NUTS. I'm yelling at somebody, and then I feel the lump in my throat and my face go red and then come the tears. It's so emasculating.
Same here, I hate that. I'd be quite happy to see that gone on T.
Dude. When I first started T I COULDN'T CRY. It was like my tear valve was shut off. It was pretty scary because for me getting teary is part of an emotional progression... Get mad... Cry if I need to... Work it off. But I couldn't cry. So every time I got mad it would just stay in me and boil and I didn't know how to get rid of it/externalize it. I was so used to being able to just cry it off and feel better.
One night I was having some drama and needed to cry but couldn't. Like the tears would NOT COME OUT. I could 'feel' it, feel the undercurrent of sadness/rage/crygasm-y-ness, but unable to actually cry. Frustrating. So we had an epic night of Get Him To Cry. I couldn't squeeze out one tear. This freaked me out for some weeks. It was like a had a hormonal block against crying.
Prior to being on T it was the exact opposite, which was also frustrating/humiliating; anything that I felt strongly about, sad or not, tears would come out. I could be thinking about a really great day at work or what close friends I was with someone and I would start blubbering involuntarily. 'Dude, it's nothing to cry about...' 'I'm not crying on purpose god damnit!' I'd tear up from shame, regret, happiness... You name it. Hated it, was the most illogical ->-bleeped-<- ever.
'OMGWTF I can't cry what's going on' went on for some weeks. I just needed to re-learn crying, as weird as it sounds. I eventually adapted and I can cry if I need to. It just doesn't happen automatically for no reason anymore.
Body temperature went up. I wake up with a hard on every morning, pretty sure it's fabric friction or something from rolling around in bed. And yeah, stink. Manstink.
My experience with crying is almost identical to Cairus', so he spared me the necessity of writing it down. But one thing: I'm able to cry now in response to specific things that really really bother me, yet I can't just cry when I'm feeling down. Sometimes I need to, and I just can't.
I spent years with my emotions shut down, so I wasn't crying at all. Then I had some grief to deal with, and that involved lots of crying. Then I shut down again. Then I came out of the closet and had to learn how to feel and learn how to let myself cry. Now...as I described above.
I am starting to feel like a human pendulum.
From the flip side of the crying coin, at 2.5 months on E I find I'm able to muster half a tear at times, which is a dramatic improvement over the inability to do it at all before.
The need to have a good cry and inability to do so at all were emotionally crippling for me.
I havent seen Sevan cry in the last two months. Before T s/he whould cry at the most minor sad stuff.
I on the other side of the coin have always been prone to tears. Now with E I am a water works ready to happen, even if it is just a simple comercial that uses an appeal to emotion.
I was wondering if I could still cry actually. I never really cried that much before anyway.
I've got a feeling I'll probably lean more toward anger than upset though.
I cry bigtime when I'm all PMSed. I am so looking forward to that going away. Last time I got so emotional talking about the state of mental health care in this country that I nearly burst into tears thinking about mentally ill people on the streets. Which is upsetting, but I can usually hold myself together.
I used to cry whenever I was really frustrated or sad. And now I can't. I think I have cried 3 times since the time I started T. The way I described it to my girlfriend is that Pre-T it used to kind of hurt to hold crying in, now it hurts in the same way to actually cry. If that makes sense.
Hm...I'd be perfectly happy to not be able to cry. Can't remember ever wanting to.
Not crying is one of the things I am looking forward to. The past week I've been crazy frustrated and sad where I've been crying...a lot.
I actually want to be able to cry. It's probably one of the few healthy ways I have of getting those emotions out of me.
Ryan fails at coping mechanisms. He says as he rolls a joint :)
I don't know if this is the T, but I just got out of a HOT shower... and I enjoyed it!
I never liked hot showers before. They always felt too hot.
Heat would make me nauseated even!
But this time I just stood in it and purred away...
I didn't even realize it was that much hotter 'till I got out of it..
Quote from: Miniar on June 07, 2010, 07:22:41 PM
I don't know if this is the T, but I just got out of a HOT shower... and I enjoyed it!
I never liked hot showers before. They always felt too hot.
Heat would make me nauseated even!
But this time I just stood in it and purred away...
I didn't even realize it was that much hotter 'till I got out of it..
That's weird. I experienced the exact opposite. I can't stand heat at all anymore, particularly in the shower. I feel like my veins are going to burst through my skin. Before, I used to set the dials to just under scalding.
Quote from: Ryan on June 07, 2010, 07:13:06 PM
I actually want to be able to cry. It's probably one of the few healthy ways I have of getting those emotions out of me.
Ryan fails at coping mechanisms. He says as he rolls a joint :)
Ah...I never experienced crying as a way of getting emotions out. It's just a humiliating involuntary physical overreaction, and it makes me feel worse.
Quote from: kyril on June 07, 2010, 10:42:53 PM
Ah...I never experienced crying as a way of getting emotions out. It's just a humiliating involuntary physical overreaction, and it makes me feel worse.
same for me
In general, I became much less inhibited about being an ->-bleeped-<- to everyone.
(This is great talk, coming from a would-be forum member candidate, right?)
That and my veins all popped out.
Everywhere.
I now have one of those tell-tale throbbing veins in my forehead that protrudes unmistakably when I'm pissed. One look at it and my mates at work will go, "Jesus, what's happened! Don't roid-rage at me!"
Quote from: kyril on June 07, 2010, 10:42:53 PM
Ah...I never experienced crying as a way of getting emotions out. It's just a humiliating involuntary physical overreaction, and it makes me feel worse.
I have always felt this way, too. Felt ashamed whenever I did it because I couldn't control it. But my therapist helped me to look at it a different way. With his help, I was starting to experience crying as a healthy form of release, and then T shut off most of my ability to cry. However, when I do cry now, it actually makes me feel better, usually.
Sometimes I wish I'd found this guy a lot earlier in my life, but I don't suppose I would have gotten as much out of therapy if I had.
I like crying, I feel it's great release and I don't understand people who hate it.
Feels good man.
Quote from: Heartwood on June 08, 2010, 02:32:13 AM
I like crying, I feel it's great release and I don't understand people who hate it.
Feels good man.
Knocking myself in the face with a hammer feels better than crying. It would give me less of a headache, too.
Btw, I love Symphony of Science, too.
Quote from: Heartwood on June 08, 2010, 02:32:13 AM
I like crying, I feel it's great release and I don't understand people who hate it.
I grew up in a conservative military family, and my mother had...well, issues. My brother and I were strongly discouraged from displaying any kind of strong emotion, particularly those emotions that are often considered negative. So I guess that set an early pattern for me. But you must know that (in American culture, at least) crying is seen as weakness. There's a negative cultural bias against crying. Once you internalize that, heaven help you.
I suspect that a lot of trans men have strong negative feelings about crying because they see it as feminine.
Crying, to me, has never really helped me feel better about things. It usually gets in the way. The only thing that makes me feel better is fixing the problem.
That said, I've been able to cry since being on T. It's not as much anymore, but I'm able to.
Gosh, would I
love to put an end to my crying.
Quote from: Heartwood on June 08, 2010, 02:32:13 AM
I like crying, I feel it's great release and I don't understand people who hate it.
I'd have to be the complete opposite. For me it's not a release, it's an embarrassment. I cry in response to anger, frustration, epic music, sad and happy scenes in movies, etc. Crying when I'm angry or frustrated is especially bad, because how can you effectively tell someone off or work through a problem with a face full of tears and a frog in your throat? How degrading is it to burst into tears at school or work (on a regular basis) when you don't understand something or do something wrong? And then you get the people who want to sympathize and get all emotional with you, and all you want to say is "I am not sad; I do not want sympathy. This is happening against my will and it makes me angry, now kindly go away until it stops." I hate it.
I'd do a happy dance if I was suddenly unable to cry. I'll add that to my list of pros for going on T...
Quote from: Farm Boy on June 08, 2010, 05:22:10 AM
For me it's not a release, it's an embarrassment. I cry in response to anger, frustration, epic music, sad and happy scenes in movies, etc. Crying when I'm angry or frustrated is especially bad, because how can you effectively tell someone off or work through a problem with a face full of tears and a frog in your throat? How degrading is it to burst into tears at school or work (on a regular basis) when you don't understand something or do something wrong? And then you get the people who want to sympathize and get all emotional with you, and all you want to say is "I am not sad; I do not want sympathy. This is happening against my will and it makes me angry, now kindly go away until it stops." I hate it.
This. Times 1000.
Also, it gives me a headache.
Quote from: kyril on June 08, 2010, 10:38:54 AM
Also, it gives me a headache.
I used to think I was the only one! I actually said something like this to an acquaintance--that crying makes me feel worse and I tend to get a nasty headache afterward, to boot--and she actually looked at me strangely and said, "Then you're not doing it right." She was not kidding.
I guess, like transition, there is only
one right way to cry.
I get a headache, I get all red faced and my eyes itch....and the problem I was crying over in the first place has most likely not been solved while I was crying about it, so I don't get the appeal or the point :P
Well, I have to admit, I don't like crying when I'm doing it in front of someone, out of control.
But when I'm alone, it's a great release.
I'm not a cryer. I hate when it happens. It also gives me a headache too.
Crying usually leads to me punching myself in the head repeatedly. I get so embarrassed.
Quote from: elvistears on June 12, 2010, 09:51:05 PM
Crying usually leads to me punching myself in the head repeatedly. I get so embarrassed.
About the crying or the punching??
It takes alot to get me to cry anyway, and I tend to lean towards anger as it is; I fear it'd just get worse if I went on T. When I DO manage to cry, I end up getting pretty low for about a day afterwards.
For many anger changes on T, not as enduring and for me as well as others, the anger actually seems to leave and a calmness pervades. Don't believe all the 'roid rage or anger from T articles you read.
Quote from: LordKAT on June 13, 2010, 12:10:00 PMDon't believe all the 'roid rage or anger from T articles you read.
My temper flares more quickly. I'm much more impatient. But I sure as heck don't have 'roid rage. And I'm actually FURIOUS that someone would suggest it as a possibility...want to hurt them...want to kill them...want to....
Okay, sorry, only the first three sentences are true. >:-)
Quote from: LordKAT on June 13, 2010, 12:10:00 PM
For many anger changes on T, not as enduring and for me as well as others, the anger actually seems to leave and a calmness pervades. Don't believe all the 'roid rage or anger from T articles you read.
Gotchya. :) I think what I meant by 'get worse' was more along the lines of how teenagers are a little volatile, like I was at one stage, and I was concerned I'd end up back there again. xD But yes, it is nice to know that it's not necessarily the case that people get rage-y. Thanks for the info. :)
As much as I didn't like crying at the drop of the hate, I'm getting frustrated that my empathy that I had before seems somewhat more muted. I used to bawl at the site of the Humane Society ads or when watching Bambi. Today, I could watch those with no effect. It feels frustrating that I cannot express sorrow like I used to. And I wonder if it's that frustration that leads to anger in some.
For me, if anything, my fuse got longer. I do get frustrated like I used to but I don't lash out like I used to.
The one T change that I didn't expect was the craving for salt (which, in turn, results in a craving for meat). Chocolate cravings used to be my norm but now, those sweets and junk foods that I used to crave are no longer there. I have to make an effort to not eat meat (being vegeterian/vegan -- trying to get back to vegan again) but the cravings sometimes are greater than I expected (largely towards fish but that might be more cultural than anything).
I never craved salt and still don't. Good thing since I can't have it. I have found cravings for protein and eaten large jar of peanut butter in a few days along with about a pound of cheese a day. I started on protein shakes again and that went away.
BTW Ruben, I read the letter from my therapist to my endo. She warned the endo to start on a low dose due to anger issues, i.e. a fight or 3 or 4..., anyway, the endo did not follow that advice and my anger has ever since been under control.
Quote from: LordKAT on June 13, 2010, 05:03:10 PMBTW Ruben, I read the letter from my therapist to my endo. She warned the endo to start on a low dose due to anger issues, i.e. a fight or 3 or 4..., anyway, the endo did not follow that advice and my anger has ever since been under control.
This is so cool! I think a lot of people, even professionals, don't fully realize how many of our pre-transition problems can be ameliorated or even solved with transition. I guess it's best to be cautious, but still...
Post Merge: June 13, 2010, 05:23:51 PM
Okay, here's a strange one. I was checking my sunscreen for streaks today and looking very closely in the mirror because I didn't have my glasses on. I suddenly realized that my eyelashes are much longer and seem a bit thicker. I expected thicker eyebrows, but not longer lashes.
Arch you just reminded me of an incident with my eyelashes. I pulled one out and pointed out to my mum how long it was. She said "Well you should put some mascara on them." ::)
Quote from: Greg on June 13, 2010, 05:33:11 PMArch you just reminded me of an incident with my eyelashes. I pulled one out and pointed out to my mum how long it was. She said "Well you should put some mascara on them." ::)
That doesn't even make sense. :o
She just increased MY dysphoria there for a minute.
men have longer lashes then females :) so no worries guys
Quote from: Elijah on June 13, 2010, 05:40:28 PMmen have longer lashes then females :) so no worries guys
Did I come across as worried? :P Only about the mascara, I hope. Now, that's scary stuff.
Another annoying thing about it was that I was driving at the time and she knows how badly I get road rage. So why did she think that would be a good thing to say to me. Sorry I'm getting angry about it now :laugh:
Not sure if anyone has mentioned it yet but I've noticed my eyebrows are I don't know thicker or coarser... Something I didn't really think about until I actually looked!!
And I don't know if it's T related or whatever but my god my nipples get itchy sometimes!!!!
That's possibly TMI...
Lol! Great thread by the way!!
Quote from: Aussie Jay on June 14, 2010, 01:35:45 AM
Not sure if anyone has mentioned it yet but I've noticed my eyebrows are I don't know thicker or coarser... Something I didn't really think about until I actually looked!!
And I don't know if it's T related or whatever but my god my nipples get itchy sometimes!!!!
That's possibly TMI...
Lol! Great thread by the way!!
Unrelated but dude, you have huge shoulders.
Something I thought of, that is rarely mentioned, is the change in your center of gravity. I find I can squat in positions now that would have had me falling on my butt before. :D
Also, regarding 'roid rage, I have a theory that 'roid rage is actually a result of T aromatizing into E. I have no proof of that, and I may be completely full of --it, but that's my theory. ;D In any case, 'roid rage generally only occurs if your T levels are way too high. Remember, athletes who are juicing generally inject as much as 12 times the amount we use.
Quote from: Arch on June 13, 2010, 05:36:21 PM
That doesn't even make sense. :o
She just increased MY dysphoria there for a minute.
You'll probably get... forty lashes...
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F24.media.tumblr.com%2Ftumblr_l02dyheqBL1qaqps8o1_500.jpg&hash=c1ac9d8cf97cad2270869940cee401f550026af2)
OH NOOO!
Oh GOD! *rolls on floor laughing*
I had no idea the amount of you all who had digestive issues that went away with T. I've had digestion problems for years. My diet is generally healthy, i try to be balanced. I tend to eat more pastas than I should, but I get a good amount of vegetables and proteins and I have been drinking more water lately but I still get constipation fairly often and sometimes diarrhea when i get close to having my period.
I really hate what that surge of E does to my digestion. I know it has to be that and it sucks a lot. I'm hoping that if i ever go on T it will balance out my digestive issues.
One thing I don't look forward to is the dryness some of you mention. I'm always VERY wet when aroused, so maybe T won't change that too much.
The biggest thing I'm afraid of is being unable to or having a lot of difficulty crying or feeling empathetic. I've always had very passionate emotions and while it's sometimes a burden, I would really hate to lose it and I'm not sure how I'd cope with that.
I used to have digestive issues that were hormonally influenced. I don't anymore, but I do tend to expel more upward moving gas.
It's going to be TMI, but my... errr... "lubrication" seems to have taken on a male pattern. As in dry dry dry dry, job is done, big sticky mess to clean up. Not dry as in uncomfortable during non-arousal times, just as in no lubrication related reaction during arousal times.
Well, I suppose at least my bedside table contents are consistent with my cismale bachelor counterparts :laugh:
Not so gross - I seem to drive slower. It's been a while since I've wanted to race - I'm quite happy to chill out and crank up the tunes instead.
While looking at cars to buy, I find myself thinking (and factoring in) "Will I be likely to get laid driving that?" (even though I have no intent on picking up, it's just an errant thought) :laugh:.
I wasn't expecting the full extent of the psychological changes. Nothing I have read prepared me for just how many things would change.
It's not that it's "wrong" or "not me" - things have changed in ways that feel incredibly right. It's just that there's been a lot of tiny little subtle changes.
To maintain the same levels of diplomacy and tact I had before, I have to consciously think about what I'm saying (or typing) :laugh:.
Quote from: Teknoir on June 16, 2010, 02:53:45 AM
To maintain the same levels of diplomacy and tact I had before, I have to consciously think about what I'm saying (or typing) :laugh:.
I went through that for several months. (I believe I said a few undiplomatic things here around that time. :icon_redface: My apologies.) But, fortunately, I regained my old diplomatic tendencies after a while.
Quote from: Teknoir on June 16, 2010, 02:53:45 AM
It's going to be TMI, but my... errr... "lubrication" seems to have taken on a male pattern. As in dry dry dry dry, job is done, big sticky mess to clean up. Not dry as in uncomfortable during non-arousal times, just as in no lubrication related reaction during arousal times.
Speaking of eyebrows...
NOSE HAIR, OMFG.
My eyebrows grow into bushes after a certain amount of time, so I pluck the unibrow area once every two weeks or so, and every two days I shave my chin/sideburns, and sure enough, every time I have to get close to a mirror to do either of these things, I find a hair poking out of my nose. And I figure, hey, it's probably coming from the septum area... WRONG! It's a blasted hair like half an inch long coming from deep in my nose. I pull out like three of these every time. Maybe I should invest in a nose trimmer, jesus.
Wish my chest/stomach would take a hint from my nose/pubes. (Wtf.)
Quote from: Cairus on June 16, 2010, 08:43:14 AM
Speaking of eyebrows...
NOSE HAIR, OMFG.
My eyebrows grow into bushes after a certain amount of time, so I pluck the unibrow area once every two weeks or so, and every two days I shave my chin/sideburns, and sure enough, every time I have to get close to a mirror to do either of these things, I find a hair poking out of my nose. And I figure, hey, it's probably coming from the septum area... WRONG! It's a blasted hair like half an inch long coming from deep in my nose. I pull out like three of these every time. Maybe I should invest in a nose trimmer, jesus.
This...
'cept, I don't pull, I VERY CAREFULLY trim with scissors... like... every 2 weeks... -.-
Is the most repulsive change yet!
Quote from: Cairus on June 16, 2010, 08:43:14 AM
Speaking of eyebrows...
NOSE HAIR, OMFG.
My eyebrows grow into bushes after a certain amount of time, so I pluck the unibrow area once every two weeks or so, and every two days I shave my chin/sideburns, and sure enough, every time I have to get close to a mirror to do either of these things, I find a hair poking out of my nose. And I figure, hey, it's probably coming from the septum area... WRONG! It's a blasted hair like half an inch long coming from deep in my nose. I pull out like three of these every time. Maybe I should invest in a nose trimmer, jesus.
Wish my chest/stomach would take a hint from my nose/pubes. (Wtf.)
Ooh, now that's something to look forward to.
Quote from: SilverFang on June 16, 2010, 02:54:54 PMOoh, now that's something to look forward to.
I'm glad to see that you haven't misplaced your priorities.
Post Merge: June 16, 2010, 05:36:15 PM
Quote from: Phate on June 15, 2010, 11:30:25 PMOne thing I don't look forward to is the dryness some of you mention. I'm always VERY wet when aroused, so maybe T won't change that too much.
I had trouble lubricating for years. Back in the eighties, I actually mentioned it to my then-new GYN, who was a complete idiot in a number of ways (needless to say, I got a new one, but she was even worse--I've had terrible luck in that respect). Anyway, I hesitantly told him about my problem. He was about to start poking around down there, but first he stuck a finger into me, pulled it out, and told me I was lubricating just fine. It was one of the most mortifying moments of my life.
I have never been sure about why I was so dry. It could have been hormonal, or it could have been that I was unconsciously dreading sex.
Now I lubricate just fine. T fixed that problem. I do have quite a mess to clean up afterward, but I don't mind.
Oh geez, I'm totally going to get that. My dad has mad nose hair. My eyebrows are bushy as already.
I've not really noticed any more nose hair. My ass however, looks like a spiders nest.
Another unexpected change: My junk starts to smell really strong, really quickly if I don't shower.
I have ass hair, but on the actual ass cheek :o
My ass is already hairy. It's probably going to look like Chewbacca's once I go on T.
Nose hair. Oi.
Quote from: jmaxley on June 16, 2010, 07:14:41 PMMy ass is already hairy. It's probably going to look like Chewbacca's once I go on T.
Hmmm, some people are into that.
I have to shave my ear lobes periodically. I get about inch long black hairs coming out of the area where my ears used to be pierced. Don't have any inside my ear, just small section of my lobe
I'm sorry Alex, but LOL! :P
I actually have a friend who has weird dark hairs on his earlobes. I've touched them. It's odd.
Quote from: Ryan on June 16, 2010, 07:51:32 PMI actually have a friend who has weird dark hairs on his earlobes. I've touched them. It's odd.
Is his name Seth Brundle?
Ear hair. I've got it. And my pit hair continues about halfway down my bicep. I'm a hairy, hairy guy.