Well, I've been on therapy for a while now (not because the transgender thing, just 'cause i'm bipolar, anyway) and on the last sessions I've been talking about change my sex.
I always felt like a guy but I never really knew that I could change how I was born.
Now that I know, I've decided that I'll change. I just told all the important people in my family (and got different reactions, but that's ok!) and told some friends too (all were really, really supportive).
Actually, I just want to start the thing, I want people to see me as man, I already see myself as one.
How do I start? Just tell people that I have a new name?
I use male clothes, I've been using only them for a long time now, and I'm getting a haircut tomorrow (the hell excited about that).
I'll also start the binding thing (but in my country we don't have nice binders available like we have in US and UK).
There's something more that I can do?
Well, I just need some tips about how doing THE REAL THING.
Oh, important to notice that I'm not on T yet, but talking to the therapist about doing that (as soon as I can).
This is it!
Thanks, guys!
Ps.: sorry about my bad English, I'm from Brazil, so...
Welcome to Susan's. Your English is pretty good from my point of view. The part of RLE is often done by choosing and using a male name and binding and sometimes packing. A legal name change is done somewhere in there. Some therapists count your name change as the start of a year for purposes of the SOC. Just start living your life as a man and continue to work toward T and you will be fine.
Often the hardest part is getting people who know you to use male pronouns and your chosen name. You may have to remind them a few times or more. Introduce yourself with your male name and ask those who know you to use your male name. Some may fight that but it is up to you to choose how to deal with it.
Here in Brazil we usually just change the name after doing surgery.
Maybe we can even try the change before, but you probably won't get it. It's a hard process and it takes a long time.
And one thing that stops me from live my life as a fulltime man is the place that I live.
It's a house from the University, just for girls. And that's the problem, for sure.
I can't live in other place right now (money troubles!) and I'm afraid that they want me to leave. Well, I can always say that I'm legally a girl, so, legally, they can't make me leave, but it's hard for me to do that.
I want to be respected as a man, and, at the same time, I use my female condition to have some benefits??
It's really hard for me to live with that, but I can't see other ways to go.
WE have a thread on the benefits thing. I happen to think that if you have to use it then do so. The only way forward that I see for you is to move to where you can start living as a man soon as you can afford to. The name thing, You will be able to use a male name without a hassle then? If so start doing that. Just tell people that you prefer that name. It is at least a start.
Here, when we don't change the name and gender legally, we call it 'social name'.
In my University, we can change the name in the Univeristy's documents before changing it legally (it's a model to other Universitys around the country!).
I guess that I can say my male name, and just use the female one when is something 'official'.
That sounds like a real good place to start. In the US you often can't change school records after you graduate even with a legal name change, it gets frustrating.
Hey Marcelo, just like you, I'm from Brazil and I had a lot of trouble figuring out "how to start transitioning for real", since everything seems so unreachable over here. You won't find any sort of vest designed specifically for binding, you'll probably struggle a lot to find soft packers, and whenever you find other transpeople you could relate to, most often they will be unaware of FTMs. We are that invisible.
But, hey, it's not all that bad. Some time ago, a fellow FTM from Rio changed his name legally without having to undergo genital reconstruction surgery (http://jus2.uol.com.br/pecas/texto.asp?id=847). That's because, in our case, no amount of money can get us a perfectly functional penis - you can't be forced to do something you may not want to to your body just to get a name change. So, yeah, think positively and take one step at a time.
About the binder: if you have access to an international credit card, you can always import binders from Underworks (http://www.underworks.com/products.html). I've done that before and even if you end up being charged taxes, you won't pay much, since they declare each item worth only around $6. It's worth it, but exchanging isn't viable, so I recommend making sure you order the right size. If you can't import, there are post-op compression vests that you could wear for the same effect. Those tend to wear out faster, though, and depending on how big you are, they won't do much for you. If you happen to live in São Paulo, anything seems to be easier to find, and somewhat cheaper as well.
I also highly recommend visiting a therapist who's used to dealing with transgender stuff. Even if you don't give a crap about therapy (though you should), you'll need someone with some reputation if you want prescriptions for hormones and a mastectomy. At that point you should have already lived as a man (it doesn't have to be full time) for an year or two, to make sure you really want to transition. You can't just decide to take T shots and get away with it because you always knew, even if you've been on therapy for some other reason for a long time - I'm talking from experience here ;)
Other than that, be prepared to face a lot of awkward situations. When getting a haircut, if you're read as female -, despite the fact that you'll end up paying more even if you get a mens hairstyle - you should make SURE the hairdresser knows what you want. Say out loud and clear that you want a masculine haircut. Even if you go for something sort of "androgynous", keep in mind that most hairdressers will try to feminize the cut if they think you're just a butch girl.
I only registered on Susan's to reply to this thread. I wanted to send you a personal message, but I couldn't, so... in case you need a few more tips on how to get around in Brazil, send me an e-mail
My English sucks, but I speak Portuguese, so it's all good, and it's not my personal e-mail, so it's okay to leave it here, I guess :)
Edited out email address - I've PMed them for you. - Nicki