Hi,
so this is my intruduction post.
Wow, I had no idea. I been reading many posts and I never knew that other people had such similar experiences. It is very lonely going though life with all these confusing thoughts in my head. I recently come to the realization that I think I'm a cross dresser ... or more or less I'm not sure what now. it took me the better part of 20 years to admit that much.
So I'll be brief. My experience is like many of yours. When I was about 10 or so years old my sister and me would play dress up . I liked this. Put on dresses and makeup , play with dolls. But then I got caught by my conservative father, this was NOT to happen in his house.
after this I would secretly raid my sisters closet for clothing or wear my mothers discarded nylons when I slept. The feel of them ageist the bed sheets, you know what I mean. As I lied there in bed I would pray to god that I would wake up a girl. As a teen I never got in to sports and all that. I was a social outcast, depressed. I wanted to dance, to be that pretty ballerina. But somehow I managed to push those thoughts down and put on the presentation of a nerdy boy.
The work load of college proved to be a temporary distraction. But a good distraction and there i realized that I'm smart and that little bit of self worth has gone a long way. Now graduated and out on my own, I started acquiring bits of women's clothing. I would acquire a little collection , then feel immensely guilty about this and throw it out , to only start all over again. The urge gets stronger and stronger with each day. I know I need professional help. I got everything I could want in life ("stuff") yet I'm a miserable little camper.
Interestingly enough I'm happy when I'm Natalie. And I got a hot set of legs, if I can just keep those ingrown hairs at bay :-) Natalie wants out of the confines of the apartment, but I'm so shy.
This a big can of worms to open. I'm not sure where this is going to lead to.
Hi Natalie,
Wellcome to Susans - your story does sound vaey familiar.
Yes the can of worms can be very big - ensure you can get as much infomation as you can from site like this.
I hope you find a home in this site - you are amoungst friends.
Alice
Hi Natalie and welcome to Susan's! Nice to meet you!
Thank you for your introduction, many of the things you mention in your post sound very familiar. I'm glad you have found us, and I'm sure you will find most of your answers here. It is never a bad idea, however, to find professional help, for it can help you explore and understand yourself further. Please take a second to look around the entire site, get familiar with the site rules if you haven't done so already, and visit the wiki and reference library which contain wonderful articles and plenty of valuable information regarding many topics in TG issues.
We hope you enjoy your stay. I will see you around.. :)
tinkerbell :icon_chick:
Natalie,
We're glad you could join us here. Make sure you get a deep taste for all the topics we've got running around here. Don't be afraid to ask us and yourself questions, because if you don't ask the questions, even the simple ones, you can get an answer.
Once again, welcome and we all look foward to conversing and sharing with you.
-Us
Welcome Natalie.
I must say that I absolutely love your name. Beautiful choice. ;)
Pleased to make your acquaintance. <shakes hand>
Hi Natalie,
Welcome to Susan's.
Alot of what was said in your post, I can relate with as well. As a lot of others have already said, you can find a lot of good valuable information here and you can chat with others about their journies as well. One way or another, we've been there. :)
Gina
As the other newbie, I'll can assure you that you will get out of it what you put into it. Be active, take advantage of the resources and you'll figure out your path. Oh and welcome to our home away from home.
And you thought you were alone :)
I can relate to those feeling as many here can. Let me just add my welcome to the other Natalie. I hope that you enjoy your stay with us, and just know that we are here for you if you need us.
Steph
Hi Natalie,
Amazing how your story sounds so familiar to many of us. That should help you understand that you are not alone. We are here to help as you make your way along your path. Please feel free to explore all the areas of the Forum and be sure to ask lots of questions...if you don't ask, you won't find out.
And yes, it can be a big can of worms you open when you begin to truly explore who you are. You may find yourself saying and doing things you would never have believed a short time ago, and feeling Good about them. It can be a wild ride. The search for truth can be a little rocky, but the rewards you gain are unbelievable.
Hot legs, eh? Can't wait to see a picture.
Welcome to Susan's. Word of warning: You might find the people here so interesting, friendly and helpful that this may just become your new home...it did for me.
......Laurie
Thanks for the kind welcomes everyone.
It is a relief that you all are so open and welcoming. :)
So, got some photos. Not sure if I want to post them yet. still trying to figure things out appearance wise.
Natalie
Welcome, Natalie, and Hello!
We're all so different and we all have soo much in common - it makes for a wonderful group of people, if you ask me. I cross dressed for decades until I discovered my true motivations for doing so. It helped keep me on an even keel for a very long time.
If you do decide to get some help with your feelings please be sure that you find a therapist that specializes in gender issues. These kinds of specialists are not very common but an untrained or inexperienced therapist can do you more harm than good. There are numerous sources on the www that can help point you towards a good gender specialist. I believe you can get to some from Susan's Main Page. https://www.susans.org/index.html
I'm pleased that you found us and decided to join. I'll be looking forward to reading more from you in the future, Natalie, and I'm again very happy to say,
WELCOME ! ! :)
helen
Welcome, Natalie.
Do check out our wiki and our URL list links to useful information.
I wish I had had a sister.
Robyn
Welcome Natalie!Nice to welcome a new face! Well we did not see it yet and i think there is no pressure to expose it either, you take your time and get comfortable here then!
You'll find some fiesty fun people here and a tons of gender experience all around! And some down right good people too!
Ricki
Welcome, Natalie.
You are among friends. I am an androgynous crossdresser who has beeen happily married for almost 40 years to a very accepting wife. "Stuff" will never make you happy--being yourself will.
( Jumps out and surprises Natalie with a Mega *Hug*)
Welcome to Susans I love you name I've know many a Natalies and they were all super people :)
Rei
Smiles to you Natalie,
Many things you shared were similar to things my Lifes partner for 25 years now shared after telling me about 7 years ago now. Leah no on HRT and in Transition had kept this part of herself a secret and shut away for so long. The relief we both have experienced since she shared this with me is more than words can express sometimes. I'm glad you found this site and know you'll feel welcome here and make very close friendships with many.
Smiles,
Peggiann