I've actually been out to my brother for a few months, now, but last night I had a lovely talk with him.
He's been having kind of a hard time adjusting. Understandable, seeing as I've been his sister for as long as he can remember-- he's not accustomed to seeing me as anything else. However, last night he informed me that he understands this is my identity and that it's here to stay, and he's making an effort to adjust. He also came up with a fantastic compromise-- for the time being, he's going to keep calling me by female pronouns in real life (partially because that's what he's used to, and it's harder to adjust verbally than in writing, and partially because our parents would eat him alive if he did otherwise) but use male pronouns for me online.
Of course, I gave him a high five and informed him that he wins at life. |D
...now the big challenge will be my mom. My brother gave me some updates, last night, on the things she's been saying behind my back. Apparently, she thinks it's just a phase and I've been being corrupted by my friends. Somehow I'm not surprised-- that was the impression I'd already been getting from her, but now it's confirmed. Wish me luck? I still haven't indicated to her that I plan on transitioning, and I have a feeling she won't take that news well at all.
that's really nice to hear , your brother sounds amazing, i read in a former thread of yours that he had rather 'bad' reactions about your hair cut , but now i think he's not bad at all , he kinda reminds me of my own brother his coolness shows up at serious situations
in the other hand , i wish best of luck coming out to your mom , it might take time , but i think in the end she'll come to terms of accepting soon enough *crossing fingers*
awesome news. the brother creature def wins at life.
Your mom may never accept it but then again she might accept it tomorrow. Moms do that sometimes. I had trouble getting my mom to accept my college major. I'm not looking forward to the talk about my gender.
For you though, I hope tomorrow is the more accurate estimate.
Quote from: ƃuıxǝʌ on June 18, 2010, 04:03:16 AM
Heh. If my mom had said that to me when I was still at school, I would have said "I don't have any friends, so there goes THAT theory, Einstein."
Apparently, there are too many queer people on the art sites I hang out on, and I'm getting ideas from them. Or trying to impress them. Or something. Mom-logic is a little hard to follow, sometimes. It doesn't help that she's just in general been in a bad mood, lately.
However, at least the brother-creature is following a decently logical path of adjusting. He's adjusting at his own pace, but he's definitely adjusting.
Quote from: ƃuıxǝʌ on June 18, 2010, 03:50:29 PM
Ah, of course - the old "You'll catch THE GAY off them!"
Scientists should really isolate the Queer Virus and stop it spreading.
I know, right? It's highly contagious. It's a wonder the WHOLE WORLD isn't queer.
...incidentally, though, my mom seems to think my brother is afraid to admit he's
straight because of ME. XD Nevermind the fact that he's directly informed me that he's pretty sure he's straight but doesn't want to date, yet.
(Although actually, oddly enough, she was totally okay when I was identifying as gay. The problems didn't arise until I started identifying as trans.)
As a mom who went through everything you assume your Mother is experiencing, I can say only this - let her deal with it herself. You be YOU! Make sure she gets the opportunity to read as much as she possibly can on the topic, and communicate with other parents of transgendered individuals, if she can. These forums are a fantastic way to gain insight.
I admit that I felt my daughter was possibly going through a phase for a while. I had no trouble accepting that she was gay, even enjoyed watching her hit on her brother's cheerleader girlfriends - and I even saw her chest reconfiguration surgery as a positive thing. (I always hated my large breasts too!) She looked TERRIFIC. And, more than anything - she insisted that though she intended to live as a boy, she had no intention of having any further sexual reassignment. Her lesbian girlfriend of two years seems perfectly content with the status quo, and though she has many ftm friends who've fully transitioned, her crowd is a motley crew! But, it never occurred to me that she might be being influenced by others in her choices. She (OK - HE - Eli, today) was always strong minded and never a sheep - no, the fact is the entire topic is SO foreign to most people that a parent's instinct is to come "kicking and screaming" to the realization that a beloved daughter is now a son, or vica versa. Have some compassion! Whether they come around eventually depends on so many things - who they are; what sort of background they come from; what script they are listening to. One can only hope they eventually come to their senses and realize that love is love, and "unconditional" truly means unconditional! I could not imagine life without my beloved child!