I'm quite sure god hates me...if there is a god.
My mother and two siblings and me are moving to a new house, a great thing, but we are in walking distance to my ex-stepfather. I hate him. I don't want to be around him. I have had dreams of freaking murdering him, for what he put me through. I feel so much guilt and i feel like i did something, when i KNOW i didn't. I hate him i hate him so much. I wish he would just drop dead.
I have nightmares and creepy dreams, and i can't freaking get rid of them. For the past few weeks, I've been on bloody cloud nine, I've been so happy, everything was going great. But now i find out i have to see his bloody face everyday? Every single day of my high school life? I don't see how my mother can trust that sonofab-tch with her other two children. Sure, it makes everyday life easier, for her, for me, the two little kids being with there father for 3-4 days a week, but we don't know what he could be doing to them. He as much as touches them and i swear I'll slit his throat. To tell the truth, I'm scared. I don't know why. I won't have to be around him by myself all too much. But I'm scared. I don't want anyone where i'm going to know. 'm turning my life around, i'm going to be a good student, no more drinking, no more anti-social, i'm going to be strong, and come out of my godforsaken hiding. But i don't think i can do that with him around. Everytime i find something to look forwar to, something good in life, its ruined, either by me unintentionally, or by other people. I fu**ing hate him,
This is some pretty heavy stuff aydan. Has this man molested you or tried to? If he has, you should tell your mother, she has to know what he's done.
*hugs*
I hope you can sort this out because it awful to let this hate consume you and for this man to get away with hurting you.
Yah. Its embarrasing.It sucks. And my mum knows. It just...sucks.
Quote from: aydan_boy on June 17, 2010, 01:21:01 AM
Yah. Its embarrasing.It sucks. And my mum knows. It just...sucks.
I'm so sorry aydan. Can you find someone to confide in, like a school counselor? It's just not right. It will be further traumatizing to see him every day, your mother needs to rethink what she is doing. I'm sorry to say she is wrong on all counts and maybe someone like a counselor should tell her.
There already divorced. Its enough that she's gone through two divorces, has three children to look after, one of them an emotional mess. I'm just feeling mad cuz its the way things have to be. In the end i'm gunna have to put up with his stinking face. She needs time without small kids crawling all over her, she's edging on a emotional breakdown herself, and to have time by herself, she needs another adult to look after them which, i guess is him.
what i can think of besides what hermione said is a restraining order, but that gets complicated. or stay with a relative or such if thats possible, but then there is still the problem with your siblings.
and maybe i just understood wrong but are you saying your two siblings will be with him or he will be over your house with them?
i wish your mother would understand what the situation is, its pretty horrible she is still moving even though she knows the circumstances, no offense. the best would be to get someone else involved in it, even if it is embarassing to explain the situation and why. i really wish i could help, sorry i'm not much of one.
Restraining order? I don't think he'd "try" anything else on me. Its just i feel messed up when I'm around him.
My two younger siblings will be living partially with him at his house. Who in there right mind would give a man with a sexual abusive past two young children to look after, 3-4 days a week? I swear, i stand by what i said, i will freaking attack him if he does anything to them.
Does he have a criminal record for the abuse? In which case he should be reported to the appropriate authorities. Depending where you are.
wow this is such a bad mess , i'm sorry , i really feel bad . if i were you i think i would try my best to avoid seeing his ugly face and trying to warn my mother about what could happen to the kids ,try to think about other possible alternatives for her so she don't need him , and of course ask the 2 kids bout every little detail about what they did there
i can imagine how it feels to even hear the name of someone like that because somewhat i've been there , so i'm deeply and truly sorry , hang in there and stay strong