It seems to me that if you have kids and are trans, you have to be pretty flexible with regard to "Mom" and "Dad" labels. I know a guy whose kid (now over twenty) calls him "Mom," even in public. It doesn't bother him at all.
So...if you have kids, what did they call you before and after you came out/transitioned/whatevered? Was the label your choice, theirs, or a mutual decision? How does it make you feel, especially if you're out in public (whether the label fits your presentation or not)?
Yeah, I'm childless, but I've always secretly wanted a kid who would call me "Dad." Except I would have to have a child around, and that's not going to happen!
I'm mum.
I plan to stay "mum" as long as my daughter wants to use it.
I'm the only mum she's got and I ain't taking that from her.
Though someone asked me if I was her dad on the phone and I just went with it...
Mine call me mom. Sometimes it causes problems but life goes on. They have done it all their lives so the change is hard.
My oldest girl had fun trying to explain that mom was a guy named (malename). The intake person was like we can't put that in for mom's name/gender. Oi! So now instead of closest living relative, I'm a contact number.
I have two sons. Both never really 'called' me anything, persay...just came up to me and chattered in my ear when they wanted something. But after I started hormones, they started calling me 'Dad' in public but usually it's mom when we're alone..or just nothing as usual, just come up and chat with me.
Mine are all older, adults now. They generally call me by my name, nothing else. But they do live elsewhere.
I have three children, ages 10, 7, and 6. The younger ones love calling me "Diana," but their older brother cringes at that because he feels it's not respectful to call ones' parent by their first name.
So we gave him an assignment. We gave him a link to a site with the word "mother" in lots of different languages and asked him to pick one that felt right for him to call me. He quickly settled upon "Nai," and has been calling me that ever since. I love it. He feels right about it. It's kind of an extra bond between us now.
So that's my story.
Diana, Thanks for the idea.
I'm terrified that my relatives are going to end up making my child call me mom. I don't know why I think they'll have such a big influence on my kids upbringing but it really worries me :P
If I ever have a child, I'd fine a word for "dad" in another language that sounds feminine for the child to use. Then they'd have a dad and a ____________ and possibly a mom, assuming I get into a poly relationship.
My kids have always called me 'chief' which has always been good to me, it puts the parent/child relationship in right reference from the get go.
It's also the nickname of one of the few people I've ever looked up to, which they could not have known when they started, but it worked on that level also.
And in many Native cultures, 'chief' is not a gender deal, but a simple discription of the power relationship, so many tribes have female 'chiefs'.
Quote from: Diana_W on June 18, 2010, 12:01:39 AM
I have three children, ages 10, 7, and 6. The younger ones love calling me "Diana," but their older brother cringes at that because he feels it's not respectful to call ones' parent by their first name.
So we gave him an assignment. We gave him a link to a site with the word "mother" in lots of different languages and asked him to pick one that felt right for him to call me. He quickly settled upon "Nai," and has been calling me that ever since. I love it. He feels right about it. It's kind of an extra bond between us now.
So that's my story.
That is so wonderful Diana. :)
My kids call me dad still. I get looks when we are in a store or public places. If they get the urge to call me something different dad works for me.
Quote from: Janet Lynn on June 17, 2010, 04:36:40 PM
Mine are all older, adults now. They generally call me by my name, nothing else. But they do live elsewhere.
I call you mom! ;)
Quote from: Diana_W on June 18, 2010, 12:01:39 AM
I have three children, ages 10, 7, and 6. The younger ones love calling me "Diana," but their older brother cringes at that because he feels it's not respectful to call ones' parent by their first name.
So we gave him an assignment. We gave him a link to a site with the word "mother" in lots of different languages and asked him to pick one that felt right for him to call me. He quickly settled upon "Nai," and has been calling me that ever since. I love it. He feels right about it. It's kind of an extra bond between us now.
So that's my story.
I wish I had thought of that before...that's actually a VERY good idea!
Diana has really solved this one. Brilliant. ;D
But having your child calling you mom, even though you are male, doesn't sound that bad really. I once knew a man who was called mom by everyone.
And he was no fairy.
Quote from: spacial on June 19, 2010, 04:14:59 AMAnd he was no fairy.
Too bad; I was about to ask if I could have his number. >:-)
My adult daughter called me Maddy for a while (Mom and Daddy), but now she calls me Kate. I told her it was her choice what to call me.
- Kate