After a long hiatus, I have decided to visit these forums again. It seems I still have a need for this community. For a long time, I thought I was fine. I thought I had settled my issues with gender.
But a new social circle has made me realize that this is not the case. I have merely been hiding my gender behind my asexuality. But I cannot do this any longer. I am tired of wearing a mask, especially one that I am unaware of. I am tired of unconsciously destroying my own dreams. I want to be free. I want to love myself.
I hereby re-dedicate myself to becoming who I am. I refuse to have an urge to die, as long as I have life left in me.
Let's start some discussion.
Welcome back Very Gnawty :)
beth
It's great to see you back, I hope that things haven't changed that much since you were here last but I don't think they have.
Steph
Hi welcome back.
I like your re-dedication spirit. Its refreshing and good to hear. You sound like your headed in the right direction and I look forward to reading your posts.
Feel free to start some new discussions or revisit the old ones.
Welcome again,
Hi - Welcome Back,
Yeap - would love my gender issues to go away - I am now a bit scared to try and hid them due to my breakdown earlier this year. So I can understand why sometimes we need to re-dedicate oursevles to finding that happy medium where we all wish to live.
Alice
Quote from: Alice on November 26, 2006, 08:44:14 PM
would love my gender issues to go away
I think I've finally found the strength to accept that they won't.
There is something in this life that I need to do. I've known about it for years. I need to put everything I have into making a new me. I will never be complete without trying.
Quote from: VeryGnawty on November 26, 2006, 10:53:34 PM
Quote from: Alice on November 26, 2006, 08:44:14 PM
would love my gender issues to go away
I think I've finally found the strength to accept that they won't.
There is something in this life that I need to do. I've known about it for years. I need to put everything I have into making a new me. I will never be complete without trying.
Yep - I know mine are not going away - we can always wish though - I wonder if Santa or a genie is listening. For now I am concentrating on being happy with who I am and taking some time to inderstand as mush as possible about myself.
Alice
Quote from: Alice on November 26, 2006, 11:31:08 PM
I wonder if Santa or a genie is listening.
Unlikely. I think I'll rely on my own research, before hunting for a genie.
QuoteFor now I am concentrating on being happy with who I am and taking some time to inderstand as mush as possible about myself.
Good idea. I've had to rethink a lot about myself lately. I simply had the wrong mindset. I've been trying to fix this "obsession" that I've had with my gender, both psychological and biological. But I finally came to the realization that it isn't an obsession. It is something more. It is something...divine.
I don't presume to know how or why I am on this course. But it is my path. And for better or for worse, I choose this path. I would rather die an androgyne than live as the person I have been over the last six months.
But I don't regret a thing. Everything I have done, I have done out of a desire to better myself. I have gained strength. I have gained knowledge. I had an opportunity four years ago to change who I was. But I was not ready. I still lived in fear and doubt. I was weak.
Now, I think I have the strength to be the person I want to be. I have a lot of life left in me, and I refuse to live it for anyone other than myself. But this is only the beginning. I have only begun to unravel the person who is VeryGnawty. I am still amazed at what I have learned over the past four years. In time, I know that I can become even greater than my greatest dreams, if I but try.