I've only ever been romantically involved with two people, and I never felt this way with my previous partner but today my current one said they wanted to shave their beard.
I didn't really want them to, but I wasn't going to stop them and I sat in the bathroom with them while they did it, but I couldn't bear to look. They even asked me to help make sure it was even and when they left the bathroom I had a bit of a cry.
I know it's because I've wanted a beard so desperately my whole life and my partner has one so easily and is just shaving it away. I just kind of lost it then.
Has anyone else felt that way before (that is, if your partner has a beard)? I know I've been kind of living vicariously through my partner, as far as body is concerned, and I wish I could stop doing this but it's so difficult when my own body isn't what I want it to be.
I look at and size up strangers all the time. Males. To compare. Then I get jealous. And tell myself to stop. I've done it with close friends too. If they knew, they'd probably call me slightly creepy, but really...it's not.
My dad shaves his beard about twice a week, i get so angry, frustrated, and confused, i just can't stand to look at his bare face knowing it will be back in a day or two. >:(
Quote from: zombiesarepeaceful on June 28, 2010, 04:52:11 PM
I look at and size up strangers all the time. Males. To compare. Then I get jealous. And tell myself to stop. I've done it with close friends too. If they knew, they'd probably call me slightly creepy, but really...it's not.
+1
usually puts me in quite a ->-bleeped-<-ty mood too.
I'm luckily not attracted to men. I can barely stand the thought of people actually having dicks much less have to experience one. I'd probably stab it in a rage.
No beard dysphoria to me, honestly I don't look forward to having another daily maintenance chore for my appearance. It would be cool at first, but it'll probably get old.
Dysphoria when guys adjust themselves though, lol. I just don't like being reminded of what I can never have. (Even if it is inconveniencing them at the moment.) And when we're running, I have girl hips and it bothers me. Guys don't seem to appreciate it much, but if I were them I wouldn't either so I can't blame anyone.
I absolutely live vicariously through my partner. Not his beard (I don't like beards, on anyone, and my partner has at most a few dozen facial hairs anyway) but definitely the rest of his body. I used to love to dress him before I started buying men's clothes for myself, and I always use his "equipment" as a substitute for my own.
Not beards but I compare myself to males and just be frustrated cause I wish I had the muscles or buff build.
I don't identify at all with my partner so I am not at all phased when he shaves. And I don't aspire to have a body like his. I am fearsomely attracted to him, but I don't need to be like him. It is two different things.
Personally, I can't wait for the ability to grow facial hair but, once I have done the ubiquitous transman goatie, I intend to be clean shaven.
Quote from: SilverFang on June 29, 2010, 12:57:47 AM
No beard dysphoria to me, honestly I don't look forward to having another daily maintenance chore for my appearance.
This. I don't care for facial hair and I'd prefer to just never have any to bother with.
i cant wait to have a beard instead of just the two lines of hair that go from my side burns to the top of my lip but ive had to promise my partner that i will only grow the one then shave it off. Although after seeing me with a beard on that funtastic face site on the other thread i may have to rethink cos i was like a double of my brother
Haha over the years I have realized that with my Asian heritage, it would almost impossible for me to grow a bread (I lack hair on my arms and legs as well, and so does my father) even when I get on to T. So looking at beards and stuff doesn't bother me.
Beards and similar things don't bother me.
I only get upset when I see a guy who is really androgynous and I know I could never look like that.
Quote from: kyril on June 29, 2010, 01:21:07 AM
I always use his "equipment" as a substitute for my own.
Yep same here with that one.
Beard wise am not bothered if I have one or not it would all depend on how I looked with one and it if I think it looked ok on me although I'm not sure if I can be bothered with the upkeep of one?
People have said I would look good and bad with facial hair. I didn't mind not having to shave when i was younger, I mean, i don't really enjoy the idea of adding 'Razorblade to Face' to my list of morning 'chores'. My GF doesn't like ANY body hair, (and that's too bad because I'm not shaving my body) But it stops the future problem of me finding a facial hair style that doesn't let me appear anything like my father. 8)
Although I do play with my 'fluff' and grin to myself. =D
(It's light/thin atm).
It's fun at first having facial hair, but it does get to be a maintenance chore. I don't know about other guys, but I have the transguy goatee because I'm worried my face is not masculine enough without it. Some of you guys are lucky and have masculine facial features and strong jaws. I'm short, round faced, a little chubby, and without the goatee I worry that people may read me wrong.
I'm lucky right now though because if I went clean shaven, I'd have to shave daily. Now, mostly the bits I don't have as part of my goatee and sideburns, I only have to shave every three days or so (notwithstanding a bit of an awkward neck beard that I should shave daily but rationalize that nobody can see under my chin cause I'm too short). But I'm sure it'll get to the point of daily maintenance.
The equipment issue still gives me problems. I so wish there was a surgery that worked for me. I'm 6 years into this and pretty well done on stuff, but can't stand to pee (I still haven't got the hang of the gadgets) and I feel like I'm missing a part as a man. As most guys, bio or otherwise would no doubt feel. I can totally see how that would be hardest for you gay guys being that close to intact guys.
Dennis
I must be weird because that's the thing I'm not looking forward to, facial hair. That and possibly going bald.
If going bald is the price i have topay for being on T its an acceptable price. Mind you i do every so often shave my head anyway so it wont come as that much of a shock to me
Quote from: al james on July 04, 2010, 12:52:57 AM
If going bald is the price i have topay for being on T its an acceptable price. Mind you i do every so often shave my head anyway so it wont come as that much of a shock to me
Yea I agree. If it did happen though I would probably shave my head and invest in a lot of hats >.>
I don't live through other people, but yeah - feelin' the beard jealousy :laugh:.
Starting to get some decent patches now. I always thought I'd shave until I got a nice continuous goatee but... heh heh. I've got facial fluff like a 16 year old - but I can't bring myself to shave it off. It looks terrible, but at least I look like a badly groomed man :laugh:
Being on T helps the jealousy somewhat. I know I'll be able to grow something decent soon enough. These days other guys tend to make me more impatient at my own slow progress rather then straight out jealous.
Quote from: Teknoir on July 06, 2010, 11:53:38 PM
I don't live through other people, but yeah - feelin' the beard jealousy :laugh:.
Starting to get some decent patches now. I always thought I'd shave until I got a nice continuous goatee but... heh heh. I've got facial fluff like a 16 year old - but I can't bring myself to shave it off. It looks terrible, but at least I look like a badly groomed man :laugh:
Being on T helps the jealousy somewhat. I know I'll be able to grow something decent soon enough. These days other guys tend to make me more impatient at my own slow progress rather then straight out jealous.
Ditto
Quote from: Shade on July 04, 2010, 12:33:03 AMI must be weird because that's the thing I'm not looking forward to, facial hair. That and possibly going bald.
Finasteride!
I still can't tell if I'm balding or if my hair is just thinning or what. I told my barber I was tired of seeing all the little short hairs all over everything in my bathroom. I mean, they're everywhere. He said, "You don't have to worry about that. Only worry when you stop seeing them!"
A trans friend of mine lost about half of his hair before he started Finasteride. I just started my prescription. I'm not ready to be balding.
As for beards and facial hair, I'm always looking at guys with hair or stubble. I have moderate dysphoria about it. I've been on T about a year and a half, so I have some facial hair but not enough. I seem to have relatively good coverage, but the hairs aren't coarse enough, and a lot of them are too blond to be visible. So I shave once a week or so. I should do it semiweekly, but I'm lazy.
The worst is when I see my brother's Facebook photo. He has a thick, lush beard. I have to keep telling myself that I'll have a beard like that in time, if I want it. In the meantime, I can't keep my eyes off his.