I still live at home, and my therapist says it's okay for me to go on hormone replacement therapy. I don't need his permission legally anymore, but I still think I should notify him. What do you recommend I do?
Does he know about your gender identity? If so, just tell him it is time to take the next step. If not, maybe it is time to inform him.
JMHO
Quote from: Janet Lynn on July 03, 2010, 06:54:05 PM
Does he know about your gender identity? If so, just tell him it is time to take the next step. If not, maybe it is time to inform him.
JMHO
Yes, I've informed him.
I thought you knew that. o.o
If he knows you are transitioning then just let him know you are starting hormones.
Quote from: andthenwekisss on July 03, 2010, 06:57:04 PM
If he knows you are transitioning then just let him know you are starting hormones.
Well, he doesn't know I'm transitioning, he just knows I'm transgendered. (Or at least, I claim I am)
Quote from: Heartwood on July 03, 2010, 06:58:17 PM
Well, he doesn't know I'm transitioning, he just knows I'm transgendered. (Or at least, I claim I am)
Well tell him you've been going to therapy and that you've gotten the permission to start HRT and that you are going to do it because it's what you need to do to be you. Just let him know how serious you are about this.
Probably advisable to think about how your dad might react. If there is any chance that this would freak him out enough that he would not let you continue to live at home, you would probably want to have a backup plan.
Quote from: Robertin210 on July 03, 2010, 07:35:25 PM
Probably advisable to think about how your dad might react. If there is any chance that this would freak him out enough that he would not let you continue to live at home, you would probably want to have a backup plan.
VERY true! =/
Do you present around your Dad?
I was sort of in the same boat, except I chose to start HRT without telling him. Obviously he didn't notice, until I told him, I have been on hormones for x amount of time. Basically, I transitioned into the role I am today, and I use that word to it's full extent, it took over 3 months for me to get to where I am today, thankfully hormones have been there that entire time.
Quote from: ƃuıxǝʌ on July 03, 2010, 08:23:48 PM
Do you tell you dad about everything you ingest (i.e. food, drink, pills)?
If not, why bother telling him about HRT?
Because hormones have large effects that he may care about.
I'm planning on telling my parents about all of this, me being transgender, when I get permission to start hormones. Reason being is because hormones will change me and I'd rather tell them myself. I'm living at home so I gotta tell them eventually. I figure that'll be a good point for me to tell them :)
Quote from: ƃuıxǝʌ on July 04, 2010, 12:23:25 AM
It's your choice to tell him, but in your shoes, I wouldn't. It's really none of his business.
Lol, since you are 18 and don't have any means to support yourself Heartwood, I'd be super careful. I know a lot of LGBT kids who end up homeless because they do things without thinking about consequences. It's super important to you right now but food, clothing and shelter are pretty important to you.
He does know that you've had these issues for a long time now. He even came into chat that time. Maybe you should work together with your therapist and let them be the disinterested third party who can kind of work as the informed medical provider and answer questions your father has. If I remember correctly, your father was really resistant a year ago, calling you "my son" and "buddy" and stuff. Does he still do that constantly, "remind" you that you are his "son?" You'll get through this, I get the feeling he loves you no matter what, just be mindful of the gravity of what you are doing :) Meghan
I wouldn't tell him yet. Get you act togather, get a job and your own place. Then when you tell him he has no power to destroy your life.
Quote from: MeghanAndrews on July 04, 2010, 08:28:23 AM
Lol, since you are 18 and don't have any means to support yourself Heartwood, I'd be super careful. I know a lot of LGBT kids who end up homeless because they do things without thinking about consequences. It's super important to you right now but food, clothing and shelter are pretty important to you.
He does know that you've had these issues for a long time now. He even came into chat that time. Maybe you should work together with your therapist and let them be the disinterested third party who can kind of work as the informed medical provider and answer questions your father has. If I remember correctly, your father was really resistant a year ago, calling you "my son" and "buddy" and stuff. Does he still do that constantly, "remind" you that you are his "son?" You'll get through this, I get the feeling he loves you no matter what, just be mindful of the gravity of what you are doing :) Meghan
Yeah, he does. :|
Meghan is usually right. This time too.
Hey hun,
Now, this is a very hard decision and time for you, although it is "your" body and its "your" perogative to do this transition, bear in mind, your parents may say otherwise. You need to be understanding of their position if you want to retain a good relationship with them during this. This includes; lots of talking about what problems/feelings you're facing, explaining your reasons behind starting an hrt regimen, explaining your predicted benefits from starting hrt, etc... Of course this is all hinging on the fact that they "want" to talk about it, however it seems as though your parents love you very much and are more confused and worried about feeling personally responsible for any ill results or regrets you may have in the future, if they didn't try to stop you.
I notice you prefaced your dad, now I have not known you as long as the others but, is dad a particular hurdle you foresee, or are you dealing with a single parent? Either way, you have already expressed concern over your father and chances are if you do have a single parent that much more responsibility is weighing on him.
Give him time hun, by no means am I advocating to wait on transition, data shows us the sooner you start the better your results, but put yourself in his shoes, he feels responsible for raising you and turning you into a "proper man", you saying you want to become the woman you were always supposed to be is really devastating. If at some point you feel compelled to tell him that you're taking hrt and more so to tell him why you're taking hrt, do so, that way you aren't giving him the insinuation of you asking for permission more so, you are wanting him to share in this journey of yours. :)
Good luck! ^_^
<3Alexis
just tell him its time to take the next step.