I live at a Lodge or boarding house while I attend University. Most of the guys who know me here call me 'she' when they talk about me. But most of the girls and some guys who dont understand the whole trans thing at all call me a 'he'. Its most annoying and when I correct them they say I didnt call you a he or they ignore me totally. I dont like living at a boarding house but Im a poor student who doesnt have a choice really.. I dont know how to deal with people who disrespect me daily. My Master says I should concentrate on my studies and channel my hate into passion for my units Im studying. But these people are ignorant no hopers or fools as my Master calls them.
Should I be kind to those who dont like or understand trans people or should I choose to ignore them or get angry with them?
I always say "who is he?". Some ppl will never get the image of the old you out of their minds though.
You're a Sith right? Why bother getting angry? I'm sure you've learned to give the smile of death to the ignorant fools
You don't have to kill them physically, just smile, lick your lips and say "CALL ME MADAM" in your Sith voice
They will surely cower
Then again, you could just ignore them and go about your studies and not worry on their ignorant butts because when it's all over with, they will be gone and you will have to live with yourself
So what's worth your time? Their B.S. or what's actually going on with you?
Virginia's right. (Again ;D ). Letting negative emotions govern you in response to this silliness is fueling these people.
In reality, what they are doing is saying more about them than you.
I actually partly agree with Vexing on this. If you do not want to be called "he" or referred to as "male", then simply don't respond, or respond with, "Who are we talking about?" or say something to generally make the person know that they have just said He instead of She, which does happen, particularly with family members. So be patient with them, they will eventually make the change.
FYI: The more you present as female, the more they see you as female, and the more natural using female pronouns will come to them.
I've always just taken the route of (gently) reminding people when it comes to pronouns. Usually people will just take the hint after a few times. It sounds like you're pretty angry at the people who mess it up--which is understandable! It makes me mad too when people screw that up. >.< But, keep in mind that they probably aren't intentionally doing this to hurt you. It's tough, but people, especially those who have known you for a long time, are probably going to keep making occasional mistakes by accident, no matter how accepting they are.
Of course, if you do repeatedly ask someone to call you she, and they persist in doing the wrong thing? >:I Well, that is super irritating, and I've been there. It might help to talk to the person one-on-one and try and explain how important it is to you.
In the end though, whatever! It's not about what people think about you, it's about you feeling good about yourself. So you can't let them get to you. Haters gonna hate. :P
<<insert obligatory Star Wars pun>> XD
I would fight ignorance with utmost love and smile. I might be disillusioned what love can achieve but chances are that for most part those who wish to aggravate your resolve do so because of their own inadequacies. Try, most harm you can do is to show everyone else you are a considerate, loving person and that is admirable. Youths can be extremely unpleasant when choosing sides and showing off their anger, don't join into the dark side.
Love, Alexia
I just can't imagine putting up with this kind of crap, but I'd move before I do them harm. Surely there are other "lodges" to which you could move, where you can get a fresh start with people you might not have to kill.
This guy at a 7-11 called me sir a few times until one day I said "Do I look like sir"?? Then I paid for my stuff and said "Thank you ma'aam". He hasn't called me sir since.
Quote from: Dana Lane on July 04, 2010, 02:57:33 PM
This guy at a 7-11 called me sir a few times until one day I said "Do I look like sir"?? Then I paid for my stuff and said "Thank you ma'aam". He hasn't called me sir since.
Hah nice!
I've always thought it would be funny to start calling cisgendered people by the opposite gender pronoun sometimes--just to see how
they like it. :P
Quote from: Dana Lane on July 04, 2010, 02:57:33 PM
This guy at a 7-11 called me sir a few times until one day I said "Do I look like sir"?? Then I paid for my stuff and said "Thank you ma'aam". He hasn't called me sir since.
Imagine if you'd said, "OMG. I can't beieve you called me 'Sir!' I'm so distraught!!" And then started sobbing on the counter.
You might have gotten your "stuff" for free.
Or maybe he was thanking you for NOT doing that.
You call your professor your master?
That is so awesome. :D
I wouldn't stand for it.
If a guy does it say, 'what was that Betty', and if female, 'what was that Bob.'
Quote from: Umbrella on July 04, 2010, 03:02:10 PM
Hah nice!
I've always thought it would be funny to start calling cisgendered people by the opposite gender pronoun sometimes--just to see how they like it. :P
I used to do that alot lol with one of my best friends who couldn't get it right ever. I'd make sure to do it loudly in a public place too. But thankfully I don't do that anymore lol and tend to take Virginia's approach here:
Quote from: Virginia Marie on July 04, 2010, 03:17:51 AM
when it's all over with, they will be gone and you will have to live with yourself
So what's worth your time? Their B.S. or what's actually going on with you?
I work full time as a waitress and I don't get read too often but it does happen form time to time. It's going to happen and there is not much you can really do about it. I don't even let on that I noticed. If on those rare occasions it happens on a bad day, when I return to drop something off at their table I tuck my shirt in further and thrust my boobs out and make sure they notice... 99.9% of the time they are quit embarrassed at their slip up... this amuses me. >:-)
Sure thing, OK, try this: When taking advice, your life works out better if you take it from people who've been successful at what it is you're trying to do. That works out pretty much across the board.
Thanks for the support and advice.
Quote from: Virginia Marie on July 04, 2010, 03:17:51 AM
You're a Sith right? Why bother getting angry? I'm sure you've learned to give the smile of death to the ignorant fools
You don't have to kill them physically, just smile, lick your lips and say "CALL ME MADAM" in your Sith voice
They will surely cower
Then again, you could just ignore them and go about your studies and not worry on their ignorant butts because when it's all over with, they will be gone and you will have to live with yourself
So what's worth your time? Their B.S. or what's actually going on with you?
This quote makes the most sense to me. And Virginia is an old buddy from way back like Lando was to Han Solo.
The only problem is since I ve become a Sith my voice has dropped and I sound like a guy. If only I could be a Jedi again. I was feminine and happy. Why did I turn? :'(
I was told by the Jedi that once I turn to the darkside, forever will it dominate my destiny!
How depressing... :-\
Quote from: Virginia Marie on July 04, 2010, 03:17:51 AM
You're a Sith right? Why bother getting angry? I'm sure you've learned to give the smile of death to the ignorant fools
You don't have to kill them physically, just smile, lick your lips and say "CALL ME MADAM" in your Sith voice
They will surely cower
Then again, you could just ignore them and go about your studies and not worry on their ignorant butts because when it's all over with, they will be gone and you will have to live with yourself
So what's worth your time? Their B.S. or what's actually going on with you?
I think to insist they call you madam may make the problem even worse. No one is going to cower. It might be better to ignore them and eventually you can move on into new surroundings and people who don't know your origins, it will then become easier.