Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Okay, let's say you had complete control over any of the above choices but our society would still be the same.  Things like early transitioning would be allowed but still looked at the same as transitioning is now.  What situation would you most prefer?  

I'd want to be born the same as I was but transition no later than the onset of puberty.  I have no idea what it's like being a natal female so it's hard to imagine.  And if I was a natal female would I appreciate it as much as I would if I was born male then transtioned?  Something tells me no.  I rarely meet a woman who says she's delighted being female.  Most complain about their periods, childbirth, discrimination, etc.  I doubt you'd hear any complaints from me if I transitioned to female.  Yeah, I know, the first two I mentioned wouldn't apply to me.  :P

Julie

I do appreciate the stuff I've learned from being TS all my life. It opened doors, kept my mind open to possibilities and magic.

BUT.

I'd give ANYTHING to have grown up as a girl. I see girls playing outside, or dancing at weddings... and I just tear up. I'll never have that. No first kiss from a boy. No being stood up by some jerk and crying my eyes out locked in my bedroom. No girlfriends backstabbing me over some cute guy.

Sure, I can become female. But I'll never, ever really be a girl.

Pout :(

No doubt about it, be born as the gender I truly believe myself to be, female.

Sarah L.

Born in the gender I identify with.

Why, oh why would I want to undergo all this hurt, self-loathing and fear of a hateful society to achieve something that I believe I should be!

Besides, I'm lazy, so why go through all the work and aggravation to arrive at "normal".  That's hard enough without a "disorder."

For me, the question isn't "if I could alter my TS past," it's "if I only could eliminate my male past (and present)."

I don't believe in the afterlife, but I do often think it would be neat if people were reincarnated at least once, coming back as the opposite sex from their first life.  I know a lot of real chauvinist jerks (both genders by the way) that it would be real fun watching them deal with that.  Sort of like the plot of the Tony Curtis and Kim Novak (I think it was) movie.  And maybe a third life, where you could choose.  That might not work, societies prefer male babies, and that discrimination would most likely carry through in self gender selection.

I could tolerate being male the first time, if the next time around I would be female, and the third time I could pick.  Maybe you're right Julie, I might not be delighted to be female if it just happened, but I sure would like the choice.

Susan Kay


Posted on: November 27, 2006, 01:53:58 PM

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Oh yes Kate, that is so true!  And it does hurt to experience those exposures and to feel that way.  May I pout with you?

Susan Kay

Hmm, some tough choices.  So I rephrased the question in my mind as "Would any of the above choices make me any happier than I am right now?"  See, the thing is I made some major changes in my life during the last year and resolved many issues.  I think if I had been born as female, I may not have been forced to face these issues and I would still have major problems in my life.  I am finding that life does go on with transition.  So in that regard, I think my current life path was the right path so far.  Now, since it would be nice to have money for surgery, I chose:

Not change anything but be in the situation to transition to whatever degree you wish (job, money, etc.)

Melissa

I chose be born in the gender I identify with.

I've given this issue a lot of thought in the past, and there's no way to know for sure what the "right" choice would be. I mean, I pretty much like who I am and where I'm at right now (aside from not being physically male) and maybe if I'd been born male I'd be worse off now, who knows. Maybe I'd be a really repressed, intolerant guy, given the family I was born into. But my past has been so painful: I feel like my whole childhood and adolescence were ruined because of this, and I'm still so scared of what the future holds, as far as coming out at work, and dealing with my family. And I don't believe that what doesn't kill you neccessarily makes you stronger; sometimes it scars you badly and screws up your head really bad. I feel like I've never properly matured because I didn't have a real childhood, and I have a lot of social problems that I believe are the result of having become so withdrawn as a kid due to gender dysphoria and merciless peers. I'm pretty sure I'd have always been the oddball no matter what, but I believe I'd have functioned/dealt a lot better if I'd been born into a male body. Plus unless medical science makes some major breakthroughs soon, I'll never have a real dick and I am very bitter about that.

If you want to get into total magic fantasy though, my top choice would be to keep my past as I know it, but be magically transformed into a real male body and have everyone in my life only know and remember me as male and all my papers/ID reflect that. That way I can still be who (as flawed as that person may be) and where I am, but also be what I'm supposed to be with no worries.

Quote from: Tinkerbell on November 27, 2006, 07:12:04 PM
I wouldn't change a darn thing!!!

Although sometimes I've said that I'd have liked to start my transition in my late teens, I also know that if that had been the case, I wouldn't have learned so much about myself.  My happiest and sadest moments in my life have been directly related to my transsexualism, and this intense roller coaster of emotions have made me a stronger person with my head well put on my shoulders and my feet well put on the ground.  I can look up to anyone now with  my head high and tell them "you see, I made it, and nothing can hurt me now because I've lived it all"...


tinkerbell :icon_chick:

Tink, I've often said that to myself and out loud.  But I've always wondered if it's because I had no other choice.  I couldn't turn back the hands of time and redo my past.  But you make a lot of good points and I've felt the same way many times.  What would I be like if I hadn't endured all I have because I'm TS?  I know it's taught me a lot and I'm a much better person for it.  Most likely if I could compare the two versions of me I'd take this one.

The Lady Upstairs knows what she's doing.

Julie

PS: You haven't quite lived it all, yet.  There's that upcoming date...  You'll really be living then.  I'm sooooooooooooo jealous!

Id keep it about the same, but Id want the resources available to finish my transition smoothly.....

To be born in the right gender would mean being a totaly diffrent person, to choose any of the other options would agian mean being a totaly diffrent person.  I like who I am at this point in life,  and this is the first time Ive felt this way in a very very long time...  If anything up to this point were drasticly diffrent I would not have chosen the roads I did, or encountered the hardship and strife which has been overcome...  Im a better stornger person through this transition....

I allmost said I would change nothing at all... but come on, lets be realistic here people,  Im totaly broke and can barely afford transition at this point and it I deserve to be alittle greedy and selfcentered in my thoughts occasionaly....  Besides its just a silly poll and wanting money dosnt make a diffrence  :P

Hiee,

  This was a difficult choice to make for me. Being TS has Really enlightened my life in so many ways, not to mention what my life to date has done in this world. BUT growing up as a girl from the begining is something so special and then there is the biology. There is nothing that I would want more in my life then to give birth to my own baby and that just isn't going to happen the way I was born soooooooooooooo Had I the ability to do it over again and have a choice it'd be:


Byee,
  Brina

I made the first choice.

It would be nice to be able to have all the choices a natal women has these days.

However if I am going through my puberty now and my family were supportive of my feelings, and what with the tecnologies open to doctors now, then I would of made the second choice like Julie, because at least I would be able to pass in public and have a better inner confident feeling with myself.

But back in the late seventies there was not much knowledge around to help doctors so I waited.
Maybe I waited 15 years too many but so many of you have said enough is enough and this is me, take me as you find me or move on.
And so I start on the yellow brick road.

I would want to be born in the gender I identitfied with. Saying that, I feel female and I have always felt female and would have wanted to be born that way. On the other hand if I was born male and I identified as male then I would have gone that way. In either case, I don't like the way my life went while growing up. I thought too much on being who I should have been and maybe I could have  done better without those thoughts all my life. Of course I had other issues in life and being TG maybe made my life better as I thought in the female role a lot of times. It got me out of a lot of trouble.
Sheila

Defiantly be born in the gender I identify with, being female for me is more than just changing sexes its a total life style change that I love about being female. Did that make sense?

If I were to be absolutely selfish, I would wish to not have been born with transsexualism.  Whether that be a male or female, it would not matter.

However, I cannot escape the fact that because of the path I have walked, I have touched lives of those around me and they in turn have touched mine.  I saved a few lives and I am unwilling to give them up for my own selfish desires.

Definitely born male. I would have preferred my character development came from other than mental anguish, marital difficulties, social problems, surgery and hormone treatment. Plus,

QuoteBesides, I'm lazy, so why go through all the work and aggravation to arrive at "normal".  That's hard enough without a "disorder."

Me too, me too!

Dennis

if i could alter my ts past, i'd  have preferred to be born [CISGENDER]

Oh old thread! Hrm, I still can't answer it either. At least not as presented, still how about this...

Part of me Would rather have just not be born, while a part would not change a thing and yet another part would have preferred to have Been born in the gender I identify with.

I'd do puberty.

While it wold be nice to have been born female, I feel i'd lose a piece of who I am. Yes, I despise the male half of my psych, but it is that same male psych that supports my mind as I struggle to cope with myself and trying to figure out what I am. I'm not a man, but i'm not sure i'm 100% female. So i'm in between, but identify as female. Make sense? I'll let you all know when I figure it out myself.

Point is, i'm not happy being trans, but I don't think i'd give it up for the insights and the strength. Without it I wouldn't be inspired to try to work to do the things I feel will make this world better. Had I been born a simple female, I might not care about those less fortunate than myself to be born in their correct body.

So the only thing i'd change is the puberty, so i'd have to deal with all this earlier in my life than now.

I would have rather been born a girl to begin with.  I've grown significantly through my change and life afterwards. I have broken the chains of a cultist faith. I have a wonderful life.  But....

It has been a tragedy with my family.  A full generation has been torn apart by this.  It was a total mess. Yes, I would have rather had the XX genes to go with my smile.

Cindi

I think that if I could alter my past, I would have made more of an effort to save more money, so I could afford to finish my transition sooner.  While tempting, being born female, I wouldn't be who I am now, and i wouldn't have had any of the good experiences in my life to this point.  My past has shaped my future, and without it I wouldn't be me.  And that's what this journey is really all about, being myself.

I just changed my answer to Be born in the gender you identify with?  I had a major breakdown tonight and one of the think I kept shouting in my histerics was that I wished I were born a normal female.  I really am not happy whatsoever being trans.  It really doesn't fit how I feel inside.  I feel like I've been a female all my life (people tell me I come across so naturally because of this) and really any reminders I am trans from looking at the genitals to other constant reminders in life just serve to upset me.  It just feels so unfair.  I guess I better go to bed.  My voice is hoarse from crying and screaming my eyes out, it's way too late to call anybody and I have been up for the last 22 hours.

Melissa

 :'(  :icon_hug:

Awww thanks Laura.

Melissa

Melissa:

QuoteI feel like I've been a female all my life (people tell me I come across so naturally because of this)

Well, Duh!  Any damn fool can tell that (even thick-headed Susan Kay can tell!)  You seem sooo female at the distance required by the little wires that provide our only connection, but besides, I've seen pictures.  Hon, there has been much forward progress made around here lately, and you have already made much of it.  I think you just have to keep moving that way, (and stop looking.)  (The sounds of Susan Kay slapping herself around for you follows).  Hopefully you got that sleep. 

I hope I'm not out of line.  I'm no expert, I just play one on TV.

Susan Kay

I meant I feel as if I've been living as a female all of my life, but thank you SusanKay.  A lot.  That helped me feel a little better.

Melissa

Aww Melissa - I hope you are felling better  :icon_hug:.

I find this question very interesting as I go through my journy and my previous life feels so far of. It is like I am dealing with GID and I just need ot recognise it is as such. I still hate seing my reflection mirror but I still want to cling onto my male life. However I am starting to recognise how feminine I realy am and how much better I would fit into a feminine role/body.

I have the feeling I would answer that I would of wished to be born in the gender I identify with. I am more and more identifing as a female that I always have been. But for now my male side is also strong hence my identification is still somewhat fuzzy.

Alice

OMG. another one..
well i have hindsight now, so i would accept being born that simple.
boy or girl it would not then matter cause I'd be right either way!
Good question!
Ricki