I remember coming out to my mom twice about being trans. Twice because I had to confirm with her who I really am. I had to tell her. My parents spitted when I was 12 and I have always been closer to my father than I have my mother and it's probably because we have so much of the same interest (I take a lot from him).
But he moved up north a few years back and slowly I wasn't able to keep in touch with him as I was able before when he lived down here.
On my 21st birthday (on July 21) he drove down here to surprise me with a visit. My first thought was, "I want to go have a beer with you dad!" but we weren't able to do that. Instead we met up the next day (the 22nd) for breakfast.
When I told him he didn't seem shocked. It was as though he had expected this all along. He told me "Why don't you try to live as who you are born as though? You know as you get older, gender and stuff like that doesn't matter so much...". I then explained to him that even after I had surgery down in my private areas, I was never fully a woman anyways. I told him I am doing this because I know this is who I am and who I need to be for me to be happy. He then said something that relieved me.
"You know, all I ever wanted from you and your sister is for you guys to grow up to be prideful, honorable and good people. So you do what you have to do as long as you stay a good person with a good head on your shoulder alright?"
In the end, I promised I'll buy him a beer when he's back down here and we parted. :)
Good for you and good for your Dad! It really helps to have someone in your corner when you go through transition.
Though I have to say what he said concerned me a bit. If I were you I would get him some books to read about transgender so he can become more educated. I'm just worried that when you actually start to change he might get upset even if he seems all right now.
Quote from: Squirrel698 on July 28, 2010, 03:18:22 PM
Good for you and good for your Dad! It really helps to have someone in your corner when you go through transition.
Though I have to say what he said concerned me a bit. If I were you I would get him some books to read about transgender so he can become more educated. I'm just worried that when you actually start to change he might get upset even if he seems all right now.
Yeah I was thinking about sending him some things to look over and read because prior to this visit he was actually concern that I didn't dress and act more like my sister.
Go, Dad!!
Congrats, Chris.
Jay
A great Dad to be sure. Congrats, congrats.
-={LR}=-
<3
Haha, thanks everyone :)
Quote from: [CRYPT] Chris on July 28, 2010, 02:09:39 PMHe told me "Why don't you try to live as who you are born as though? You know as you get older, gender and stuff like that doesn't matter so much...".
Easy for a non-transsexual to say. :-\ BTW- that's not even true about getting older.
However, I'm glad it worked out well with your dad. Give him time to absorb the thought. That's what I had to do with my dad but it's ended up working great. Once they understand more they become accepting even if confused at first. Well, that was my case anyway.
Quote from: Radar on August 03, 2010, 08:24:12 AM
Easy for a non-transsexual to say. :-\ BTW- that's not even true about getting older.
Yeah it probably is easier, but a know a lot of very open minded older people who don't care about age, gender, your sex, etc. when they get older. I have had a lot of teachers like that, haha. But in life everyone is different. So I don't put it against anyone or anything.
Even though your dad doesn't quite seem to understand what it means to be a transman, you're lucky that he is able to be so accepting of it. & I'm sure once you're farther into transition and he knows more about it your relationship will be greater than ever.
That's great!