I have a few mannerisms that my partner laughs about, and tells me I really need to lose if I want to pass as a guy:
1) I talk with my hands - very fluttery and flamboyant.
2) I cross my legs at the thigh - I find it REALLY hard to side man-style.
3) I tuck my hand over on my hip and jut my pelvis to one side - just like in the song 'I'm a little teapot'. That's my default standing position - not very masculine! And it happens without me thinking about it.
Anyone else got annoying mannerisms they just can't shake??
My posture I know is bad. Something about it makes me look female even from the back. I think it's hunching my shoulders and neck forward. I use to trying to hide because I was uncomfortable with who I was but now I need to learn to stand tall and proud.
I also do the teapot! Sometimes when I'm standing still I put my hand on my waist and jut my elbow out. A guy in a club who I was attempting to pull told me it looked entirely to '->-bleeped-<-gy'. I wasn't even aware of it until then. lol I am making an attempt to put my hand lower on my hip or stick my fingers into my pocket instead. Just sometimes I forget!
Quote from: Turtle on July 30, 2010, 07:03:52 AM1) I talk with my hands - very fluttery and flamboyant.
From what I've noticed, it really does seem to be more of a '
how you talk with your hands' rather than, '
men don't take with their hands.'
The movement seems to be sharp and a bit restricted in comparison to a woman's which does seem to be much more fluttery and fluid. I've seen a lot of men who talk with their hands who aren't gay or flamboyant at all, it all seems to be in the movements themselves instead of the act.
Quote from: Turtle on July 30, 2010, 07:03:52 AM
2) I cross my legs at the thigh - I find it REALLY hard to side man-style.
Same except I do it man-style too, I just find it a lot comfier the other way most of the time.
Can't think of any other mannerisms.
If you've ever seen guy sharing fish stories, you know that they talk with their hands. I'm thinking:
Masculine ways to talk with your hands:
"Over there" - pointing
"This big" - measuring
"Boom!" - exploding movement
Feminine ways to talk with your hands:
- upward facing hands
- moving hands with each beat of your voice to add emphasis
- twirling hands around each other
- "I don't know" - continual shrug
Can you think of any more?
I don't really have any body language that isn't masculine. My mom told me I "walked like a farmer" as a kid. Transitioning only made it worse :D
Quote from: Turtle on July 30, 2010, 07:03:52 AM
I have a few mannerisms that my partner laughs about, and tells me I really need to lose if I want to pass as a guy:
1) I talk with my hands - very fluttery and flamboyant.
2) I cross my legs at the thigh - I find it REALLY hard to side man-style.
3) I tuck my hand over on my hip and jut my pelvis to one side - just like in the song 'I'm a little teapot'. That's my default standing position - not very masculine! And it happens without me thinking about it.
I'm very much a tyupical late transitioning MtF but I've always doen #1...and had to stop myself touching men's arm as I talked to them and my foreman once came to me very redfaced and embarrassed and told me that doing #3 made me look like a poofter ie effeminate.
I do all sorts of movements with my hands. I talk with them quite a bit and they range from "masculine" to "feminine". I also have a tendency to do the "teapot" stance. I walk like a model due to physical problems, but I can do a more "masculine" walk if I really think about it. However, I kind of like my model walk--it makes other girls jealous which is something I find mildly funny.
I sit in all sorts of positions. A favorite is crossing my legs at the thighs because it's more comfortable.
I've probably got a lot more feminine body language, but I don't watch myself so I don't really know.
Depends on the culture of course, but I think males talk with arms and hands, whilst females tend to talk with articulated wrists but not move their arms so much. Guess that's where the notion of 'limp wristed' came from.
Yeah.. i natrually stand in a cat-stance (weight on back leg, front leg often bent). Annoying things to change..
also in the "not standing fully upright" crouwd. Partially back problems, partially that i used to hate my height (now it's an asset, but old habits..)
I tend to stand like that too.. with weight on one leg, and the other leg kinda bent.. its juts more comfortable.
and.. dont feel to bad about it guys.. I met a gay guy (cis) and he stood like that all the time.
Quote from: Elijah on July 30, 2010, 01:32:20 PM
I tend to stand like that too.. with weight on one leg, and the other leg kinda bent.. its juts more comfortable.
I do that too, been trying to break the habit though.
Oooh...erm.
1) Folding my arms too low on my chest, even when binding.
2) Walking like a duck with my arse stuck out behind.
3) Squeeling like a stuck pig when a friend has bought something nice.
4) Using far too many smilies and virtual hugs in my internet posts ::)
I have the worst problem I'm a bartender and I'm so used to saying thanks hun to a guy when i get a tip, its just habit. But now that I'm starting to pass all the time I'm really getting some strange looks lol
I use a lot of smilies and virtual hugs too. Which is weird on the hugs thing cause at first I was uncomfortable doing that (I'm not touchy-feely at ALL in real life).
I do the cat-stance thing too. And the hands on hip. I also sometimes hold my hands kind of bent at the wrist, which I think looks kind of femme. I wonder what other mannerisms I'm not even aware of... :-\
1.I talk with my hands too...and I also do that limp hand thing, I don't mean to, but it seems so natural! ::)
2. Me and a guy friend of mine (ex-boyfriend) are still a bit..."touchy" when out in public, like arm around the shoulder, constant hugs, etc, and when i do pass, I get some pretty wicked looks from people, but it kinda hurts my "passability", it makes people take a second closer look.
I used to use that stance that had me leaning on one leg. Don't do it anymore though, plus, it's probably better for my back that I don't. I used to sort of stick my butt out more when I walked but I do that less now that I'm conscious of it.
Not important, but my doctor said that my mannerisms and they way I talk are just like some guy she knows, so I was tripping her out. I guess I'm doing all right with the mannerisms.
Lol...I was thinking about starting a thread on this very topic!
I have a few mannerisms that annoy the heck out of me...
1. If wearing girl-pants, I sashay (my work wardrobe is a gendermix...when wearing guy pants I walk 'normally,' but girl pants make me feel like I need to move differently. Grr! Laundry days suck!)
2. Armadillo syndrome. When nervous I hunch over and sometimes pull my arms into my chest, like a rabbit. ^_^;
3. I used to do cat-stance, but I kinda screwed up my hip doing Aikido and now it hurts to stand for long with weight to one side like that. Mixed blessing I suppose.
4. I smile WAY too much...mostly from nervousness and lack of knowing how to act.
5. A category all it's own...Voice. When I'm nervous, my voice gets higher pitched. When I'm happy, it goes higher pitched. I laugh when nervous, and not the evil-overlord laugh I've practiced to perfection either! Gah! If I had the money I'd hire a voice coach!
FWIW I've seen many cis-men cross their legs at the thigh. I travel a lot and when in airports or busses or other public modes of transportation you see a wide variety of people.
Be yourselves. :)
As someone who used to live as a very feminine woman, I did have some habits to break esp. initially if I wanted to pass. But now I don't even think about it and just do what comes natural. Mainly I'm at that point in my life where I don't give a crap what other people think of me.
(Other than family, that is, who seem to be able to hurt me very easily).
Jay
Quote from: sneakersjay on July 31, 2010, 10:42:07 AM
FWIW I've seen many cis-men cross their legs at the thigh.
So have I and also my dad does this.
Quote from: Elijah on July 30, 2010, 01:32:20 PM
I tend to stand like that too.. with weight on one leg, and the other leg kinda bent.. its juts more comfortable.
and.. dont feel to bad about it guys.. I met a gay guy (cis) and he stood like that all the time.
I stand like that most of the time, because I have a bad knee and I just instinctively take the weight off my right leg when I'm not actually walking. I've trained myself not to sit with my legs crossed at the thigh (used to sit like that all the time), but I find it impossible to get into the more masculine position with one leg up and the ankle crossed over the other thigh at right-angles. My poor old joints just won't do it.
Other than that, I don't think I've ever had any female mannerisms in my life. ;D
Crossing your legs at the thigh is considered a feminine mannerism? I always thought of that as a guy thing-- not even kidding. Not that that makes much of a difference in my case, since it's not a very comfortable position for me. I usually sit cross-legged ("Indian style") or kneeling in public, and when I'm alone/with friends, I often curl up in my chair with my knees at chest-level (or alternately, curl one leg up "Indian style" and pull the other one up to my chest). I sit funny... not really masculinely or femininely, I guess. Just weirdly. x3
In any case, I don't really try to "fix" my mannerisms, usually. I know I have a ton of "feminine" mannerisms, but they don't bother me. For one thing, I've met plenty of guys (many of them not even gay) with similar mannerisms. For another thing, my mannerisms are a part of me. It would kind of defeat the purpose for me to sacrifice perfectly fine, even good, parts of myself just to pass better. Sure, I talk with my hands and wear my enthusiasm and affection on my sleeve... but if i didn't do that, I wouldn't feel like me.
One of the few mannerisms I do kind of try to avoid, though, is swinging my hips when I walk. I've never really lived that I do that... it's just that that's kind of what automatically happens due to how my body is set up, so it happens by default unless I conciously avoid it. x3;
I always have to have my feet up at bum level when I'm sitting.
I guess it might be from sitting on the ground so much at school. Sitting with my feet on the floor and my bum on a chair feels unnatural.
Quote from: SnailPace on July 31, 2010, 01:16:18 PM
I always have to have my feet up at bum level when I'm sitting.
I guess it might be from sitting on the ground so much at school. Sitting with my feet on the floor and my bum on a chair feels unnatural.
This. Exactly.
Except I have no excuse. I'm just a weirdo who likes to keep my body as compact as possible. x3 I also can't sleep laying straight out. I have to curl up into a hedgehog-ball or I feel weird and can't get to sleep.
I had a few things that I considered feminine that I thought I should stop, namely sitting with legs crossed at thigh and standing unevenly with hand on hip. Then I realised my dad has exactly the same mannerisms and he doesn't seem feminine at all. So I just do what comes naturally and try to worry about it.
Quote from: sneakersjay on July 31, 2010, 10:42:07 AM
FWIW I've seen many cis-men cross their legs at the thigh. I travel a lot and when in airports or busses or other public modes of transportation you see a wide variety of people.
How is that comfortable? ... how would your legs move to do that? Regardless of sex, I just can't see how anyone could sit like that.
Oh, I know... sometimes I catch myself being really girlish, which bothers me a little. I tend to talk in a very cute voice. Not always, but often when I'm talking to my hubby. It's like this "c'mon love me, I'm cute"-thing. I can't shake it off.
I also cross my legs while sitting and undress like a girl. You know how guys grab the shirt by the collar when undressing and women do it... hm another way around. I can't explain it, since I'm no native speaker. You know what I mean.
@JudahLiam: wow the avatar is real great. This is how you look? It looks like me just much more masculine. You look real good. I want to get there.
my drama teacher says i have a sort of swagger when i walk, supposedly a hiphop influence. friends have said that when i stand in one place, i always stand like i'm going to get my photo taken.
probably all true, i'm naturally a very cocky person and hold myself accordingly.