I ask as a matter of fleeting interest, as I seemed to be entirely misread while out buying bubble bath soap today.
Having only been out once en femme I totally expect to be addressed in the male manner, but I do have fairly long hair by male standards, usually hanging with hair subtle clips. Not wholly feminine, but.. getting there; I suppose it might look like girly hair trying to look masculine. As I was being introduced to some free samples I was asked quite honestly if I shaved - me, a clean-shaven 23-year-old 'guy' in t-shirt, trousers and smart shoes. The rather charming, gothabilly girl serving me seemed to think I was a trans guy.
I loved the whole encounter as she was very open and helpful, and I was quite flattered that somehow I seem to have picked up a feminine vibe without really being aware of it - much as the interpretation was a tad misplaced. I was read as a woman pretending to be male, which of course is simply the stereotype.. but I'm happy to take it as a compliment.
I wonder, have other MtFs found this while presenting as men, or indeed have FtMs been mistaken for trans women - someone clearly dressed as a woman but acting manly? :)
Just to be clear, and without wishing to patronise anyone either: I do present this topic as innocent throughout.
First endo I went to thought I was FTM. She'd treated FTM for 20 years but never even seen a MTF.
One surgeon's office lost my medical records and had to try to rebuild them when I saw him the second time... after he'd already given me a colonoscopy. The nurses were so confused. And so was he, because he asked if I had already had my ovaries removed.
I know of one Woman from here not too long ago mentioning to a partner that they were trans to which they responded with. "You want to be a guy?"
I've not been read as an FTM, I have however been read by someone as Intersex who identified as male.
They said they'd encountered someone in my situation before, that must have been hard growing up different.
They then asked if I was taking Testosterone injections to help my voice drop and whether I was going to get a mastectomy.
Certainly the most unique reading I've had yet. O.o Don't cut off my boobies!
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fv63%2FDarkphantom%2Fboobieshansliu.jpg&hash=0626432e528af23332f8819b1f6231ccabe92060)
Quote from: pebbles on August 04, 2010, 05:27:13 PM
Certainly the most unique reading I've had yet. O.o Don't cut off my boobies!
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fv63%2FDarkphantom%2Fboobieshansliu.jpg&hash=0626432e528af23332f8819b1f6231ccabe92060)
Lol, that is awesome.
I love boobies so much that I do not like to think of top surgery as cutting off your boobs but rather chest reconstruction.
Ha, supposedly in my old "girl" photos I look like a mtf.
Quote from: pebbles on August 04, 2010, 05:27:13 PM
Certainly the most unique reading I've had yet. O.o Don't cut off my boobies!
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fv63%2FDarkphantom%2Fboobieshansliu.jpg&hash=0626432e528af23332f8819b1f6231ccabe92060)
HAHAHAHAHAHA
One of the first job interviews I went to fulltime I was upfront and told him that I was transsexual (mostly because I thought it was obvious and to just see if he had any issues with it). He replied with "which way?", I'm not sure if he was playing it down or genuinely unsure... I answered the question though.... :P
While I've gotten ma'amed for years from behind because of my long hair, someone thinking I was F2M has only happened recently. Just a comment of "I don't think that's a guy" from someone passing by. Heh. Funny, but I took it the same way as you did, as a compliment...if an odd one. ;)
Quote from: Muffin on August 04, 2010, 09:49:33 PM
He replied with "which way?"
That's actually a remarkable answer. Most people only know of one kind.
- N
Too funny!
The first time I went to a transgender support group meeting, everyone thought I was a genetic woman who hadn't started transition as a FTM. Talk about a confidence boost!!
I do look like an mtf in some of my older pictures because I have high natural testosterone. An mtf who does not care about being feminine too much.
Me in a dress, that's a topic of its own. I was wearing this hippie style dress 15 years ago, no make-up, and a group of teenage boys was walking behind me and I heard them argue whether I was a female or a ->-bleeped-<-. ("he's got broad shoulders, it's a ->-bleeped-<-", "look at the silly ear rings, it's a he", "she's short, it's a she", "short hair, it's a he", "look at the way he walks, it's definitely a he") They finally agreed that I was a ->-bleeped-<- and harrassed me verbally which made me grin more than be upset, first because at least I had some passing, second because have you ever heard of a hippie style ->-bleeped-<-?
Though this kind of encounters was not nice, I always had more trouble passing as male in male clothing than when I wore certain female clothing before T. This could bring me into this kind of danger, though, so I did not wear that stuff often.
Before starting T, I just couldn't resist taking a couple of pictures of me in drag and with trashy make-up (make-up always looks trashy when I do it). I posted them on a ->-bleeped-<- website and ask for comments. They thought I was a bio male and complimented me for looking good "en femme" and asked me how I did it.
An MTF friend of mine had been going to ->-bleeped-<- meetings for a couple of years while still figuring out what the heck was up with her. During her transition, she wanted to go there again meet old friends, and she asked me if I'd go there with her. I was like okay, but I want to be dressed appropriately for this event. So I organized a red 19th century western dress from a life roleplaying friend, and she did the make-up and provided jewelry plus a wig. It was hilarious. I had been on T for 6 months and looked ambiguous at that time. At the event, I was asked by several ->-bleeped-<-s what I was ("Sorry for asking, but... are you a man or a woman? We just keep wondering there at my table."). Other TVs just gave me confused glances the whole evening until word spread round.
Funniest thing about that evening was that my MTF friend and a transitioned FTM acquaintance ended up at my table and after 2 hours of chatting, they outed to each other. Before, he thought she was a bio female and she thought he was a bio male.
Oh, and whenever I need to show my ID (not changed yet) or have to out myself as being transsexual for other reasons, people always ask me if I still have something dangling there or "had the OP" and was officially a woman now. Which is kind of silly if you have a 3-day beard and male clothes and haircut, but it's funny.
Sometimes... I thought I'd been read as a MTF and then felt confused when I was being called names in reference as a lesbian
One time I stared a guy down and said "You mean that with respect... Don't you?"
He just about shriveled up like a leaf and gulped then said "Yes ma'am"
Unrelated, but what is on that plate?? It looks tasty.
Quote from: elvistears on August 04, 2010, 11:35:51 PM
Unrelated, but what is on that plate?? It looks tasty.
LOL... It's pasta au la parmesan with onions, olives, 'shrooms,... tomato and avo. slices and a sausage ;D
I want to go to that...yummmm ;D.
*Blushes* Thank you... Virginia likes to cook... LOL ;D
When I called the endo's office today to see about setting up a first appointment (which unfortunately, turns out I'm not going to be able to afford, but that's another story :( ) they thought that I was mtf.
Boobies FTW. XD
Fascinating! I'd never thought about this side of things before, and I'm surprised to see it so common. Awesome.
This never happened to me, but I don't know whether something like this should be taken as a compliment or not. I guess it is since it means you pass well enough as a member of your gender for someone to think that you were assigned that gender at birth.
Absolutely yes. It was a surreal moment too.
I came out of a long period of stealth, during which my partner had been out and bizarrely had had to cope with the frustration of watching our neighbors assume that I was her long-suffering and loyal cis female partner. When I look back I still feel bad about doing that to her, but at the time we had both agreed that we each had to handle our situation in the best way for us - and as I was the breadwinner it made sense for me to be a bit more cautious about who knew.
Anyway when, after ten years, I finally came out of total stealth into my current slightly more mixed approach in which I have told a few people but not others, one of the few people did I tell was Tania, our next door neighbor with whom we were very close friends. Her husband kind of acted as Alison's father at our wedding.
Tania said, "ah well that explains why you were always so understanding then." I nodded thinking she now understood, then she said "so you'll soon be growing a beard and having your breasts removed..." I blinked and looked confused.
It took me a few minutes to realise that she assumed I was telling her that I was a prospective FtM. I then put her straight, and now she looked really confused. She said, "but I've seen your childhood photos. I have seen you were a girl!" So then I had to explain all that too, how my parents had been rather more broadminded than some at the time. I pointed out that in some pics I was dressed as a girl and in some as a boy. She laughed and said, "yes but my cousin was just like that so that proves nothing. I honestly just thought you were a tomboy."
It was a priceless moment.
Yes. To my face? No.
But more often was getting "clocked" as FTM or straight out male while presenting female.
"I think that's a dude..." can be taken a few different ways I suppose :laugh:.
I mentioned that I'm a transsexual in a group of people (glbt) in Reykjavík and they stopped for a sec and then asked me which way I was going, as they couldn't place me.
This was before I even joined this forum.
I found it amusing.
@miniar
I think Northern Europe is one of the best places to transition worldwide. The people over there are just so cool and relaxed about these matters.
Quote from: Teknoir on August 05, 2010, 10:27:33 AM"I think that's a dude..." can be taken a few different ways I suppose :laugh:.
Yes, yes it can be.
TBH i look too feminine to be mis-read as mtf :p
Something sorta like this has happened a couple of times. Pretransition, about fifteen years ago, I met a gal who said she "never would have guessed" that I wasn't "born female." Needless to say, I was not amused.
At Pride last year, I was volunteering at the trans booth, and a guy finally asked me which way I was going. I was right at the end of my androgynous phase, so I said, "What makes you think I'm going either direction?" Then I came clean.
I don't know of any who have flat out mistaken me for F2M, but I have been asked which I am while hanging out with cisgirl lesbians.
Quote from: SydneyTinker on August 07, 2010, 03:58:34 PM
I don't know of any who have flat out mistaken me for F2M, but I have been asked which I am while hanging out with cisgirl lesbians.
That's a good sign that transition might work for you, passing aspect.
Personally I haven't been misread as FTM (yet?). But there were this guy at a support group I went to that I wasn't sure whether he was FTM or MTF.
Offtopic, sorry...
Quote from: Fencesitter on August 05, 2010, 03:36:36 PM
I think Northern Europe is one of the best places to transition worldwide. The people over there are just so cool and relaxed about these matters.
??? ??? ??? This is the first time I've ever heard (or read) something like this. Reading a couple of Finnish TG forums I'd say it's about as easy, or hard, as anywhere else. Unfortunately, we've got our fair share of bigoted a-holes, too. I do wish you were right, though. If these things are just better in some Nordic countries than they are in Finland, cool. :) And I'm certainly not complaining, just saying that there's still room for improvement here, too.
I thought more about Sweden and Danmark... Finland I don't know.
Once at work behind the till I overheard two early transition MTF's talking about me.
"do you think she's like us?" ..... "she'd look better if she grew her hair out and wore makeup"
Stuff like that, i found it amusing :D
One irate customer also used airquotes around "girl" when refering to me as "that girl" to my manager, wasn't quite sure how to take that :P
I haven't had this happen although somebody on the forums said my boy pic looked kind of like an FTM which was really a sweet thing to say haha
I had this happen from the beginning and later, even post, finding new endos and stuff, they would act like they couldn't tell or had assumed the wrong thing at first.
But I've seen it handed out as a "compliment" to people by others who really knew which way they were going. I just don't trust compliments like this one. Too often it is false flattery.