About two months ago a friend came to stay with me, and in one conversation he mentioned a friend of his from school who cross dressed. Suddenly something clicked inside me, and I became obsessed with the idea that I could do and wanted to do the same thing. Thinking back on it, I've had an admiration for beautiful woman's clothing for a long time, and it seemed like I have just made a switch from "that would look good on my girlfriend" to "that would look (and feel) good on me"! But I'm already 35 years old and this is the first time I've ever done it! Now I have got so much enjoyment just out of the thought of being able to do it, that I wish I had thought of it years ago!
From that time onwards I've felt a need to feminize myself that I'd never felt before. It feels like I have gone from thinking it was impossible to do it, to thinking it is possible, and very desirable. I shaved my legs, plucked my eyebrows and started looking after my skin. Just doing those things made me feel so good. I also started caring for my nails - I used to bite them, but the desire to have beautiful nails killed the habit overnight!
Then I took the opportunity to get some good advice on cosmetics from a make-up counter, bought some clothes. A supportive (actually downright encouraging!) friend took me shopping with her and lent me a wig, and last weekend I stayed at home and transformed myself completely for the first time ever! Dressing like a girl was the most unbelievably enjoyable experience. I felt amazing. I thought to myself "Where have you been all my life?"
Now that I have read more about others' experiences, I feel a bit strange. It seems that everyone except me has been doing this from quite a young age. I can certainly remember enjoying putting on tights and the ballet tutu when I was a kid, and having a thing for certain items of clothing as a teenager, like tight bike shorts or my mother's heels, but apart from this I haven't acted upon the interest for about 20 years. I've never been a particularly macho man, though, and have often been mistaken for a gay man because of it.
What I really want to do now is to go out in public as a woman, and I really want to do that before the end of the year.
Perhaps I'm less worried what people might think now, because I'm quite used to being constantly stared at and being the object of attention because of my appearance - I lived in parts of China where tall white people like myself were fairly rare. Speaking Chinese is great too, I was game enough to go right up to the makeup counter when I heard the women there speaking Chinese, I knew the shock of me speaking to them would outweigh the shock of me wanting to by eyeshadow and lipstick - and it did! ;D
However, I am still a bit worried about going into clothes shops, the first time I did it I just admitted straight out that I was looking for stuff for myself, but that was in a big department store, and I find that the really beautiful dresses I am after are in smaller places where I am bound to attract attention as a man buying woman's clothing.
I'm just wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience, not beginning to crossdress until later in life?
P.S. My advice to anyone who is young and getting interested in crossdressing is to look after your skin now, and always wear sunglasses so you don't end up with wrinkles!
As I know, many people seriously realize their trangenderism at their late 30's or early 40's. Although I wanted to be a woman since my childhood, I recognized my transgenderims clearly to start my crossdressing in public at my late 30's.
Barbie~~
You can start at anytime. 35 is not that old, or unusual.
I always knew "something" was different about me but never could put a finger on it, until i reached about 42. By then the internet was invented, and I was able to figure it out. Now i'm pushing 50.
Like you, i've started to take better care of my appearance, and i now buy occasional pieces of ladies fashion that catch my eye instead of looking and wanting but not buying.
I say go for it and don't look back!
I'm happy for you, you just found what's doing you good.
I never thought about crossdressing before, and when I did, it was like a scientist must feel when inventing something. It is a weird feeling that leaves you speechless.
There is nothing like too old, if you ask me. You can be 60 and finally find out who you are, and what you like. Too late is, in my opinion, when you secretly want to, but never do, and then die.
Thanks so much for all the encouragement everyone! Yes, that is exactly it, that weird feeling that makes me speechless! Yes, there was always a "something" too, though not quite as obvious as wanting to be a woman from a young age, which is why I was wondering.
P.S. I'll definitely be back checking for Barbie's new avatar every week...gorgeous!
Well, if you're 35, then its the perfect time to start.
When I had ample leizure time, I clearly recognized my ->-bleeped-<-. At that time, my family went to my country for summer vacation and I was alone. My two sons grew up to enter elementary school, and I thought I finally became free from bringing up my children. I finished my ph.d. degree, and became economically independent. I could be introspective for three months. I happened to start again exercising outdoors, noticing that some people took attention to me. I feminized my appearance step by step.
These are some factors explaining why I could start crossdressing at my late 30's.
An exception was that my little daughter was born in 1 year, and I again became busy bringing up a kid for 7 years. It was not what I planned, but watching her growing up is the utmost happiness in my life time.
In this fall, I expect I can enjoy fully my crossdressing, as my little daughter grew up to enter elementary school next year, and as I will start my new career this fall to become more independent, economically and socially. Many people are already wondering how much I can go further and people can tolerate and accept. It is a place on the horizon where few people have ever reached. Only problem is my aging.....
Yes. I have many photos for avatar and will have more!
Barbie~~
Hi I first 'dressed' when I was about 6. But that was in the late 50's and I suppressed it so much that I didn't even think about 'dressing' again until 30 years later. Beware though. In my 30's I thought I was doing this as a hobby or fetish. Now, 20 years later I'm waiting for GRs (in mid September).
Jenni
The older you get the more incentive you have to start. Start now! Just make sure to dress your age.
I have spent the last 55 years doing what other people wanted, now I need to spend the rest of my life doing what I need. Have fun! ;D
35 is not too old to start, jump in and enjoy the feeling of being dressed as a women.
I called myself Kati_CD because just plain Kati was already in use. In reality I have no right to call myself CD unless I am referring to sound or data disks. A potent mixture of fear and shame kept me from acting upon my secret desires. I suppose the fact that in high school and college I had to endure a good deal of hazing due to a feminine walk and certain mannerisms was incentive enough to keep from embracing my latent desires for many years. The only concession to my desires was to occasionally wear sexy thongs. Over the weekend I spent a good deal of time reading information about our community and watching a number of You Tube videos of courageous individuals from the transsexual community. I was inspired. If they could have the extraordinary courage to be who they really are maybe it was time for me to summon enough courage to finally act on those desires. Hopefully the positive encouragement our 35 year old received also applies to someone who is 57.
Kati
I hope it does too Kati. Actually the more I have read and talked about things with people face-to-face since my first posting, the more I realise how many people felt and feel the same as me. Some descriptions in people's memoirs have a very strong emotional effect on me.
Now I've been remembering a whole lot of things I hadn't really thought of before, and I can see that there were many things there that has been leading to crossdressing and the outing of Michelle for a long time. Now that I am getting close to makeup again, I'm even getting flashbacks from the smell of makeup now, reminding me of nice smells from my childhood adventures in the makeup drawer that I had put somewhere in the back of my mind, and that is just one example of many.
So I say go for it! If you are like me, when you finally let the inner girl out and look in the mirror you will feel a wonderful feeling of calm and an amazing emotional rush, and then probably feel sad (or even incredulous) about all those wasted years when you kept her hidden.
Do it up! Seriously, you only have one life! The only boundaries are our own limits, and well, societal law, you should be able to have neither apply in this case :P
I had an ex-bf, who is still a friend. He was a cross dresser. He didn't start cross dressing, or even really have interest in it, until his early 50's! When we met (he didn't cross dress around me), he was avidly going out dressed in the winter (when he could shave.), and he's presently in his later mid-50's.
Have Fun,
Melan
I am 57 now and have been full time for the last 2 years. So NO 35 is not too old to start.
I knew I was "different" starting around age 8, and started secretly crossdressing around age 11. When puberty hit I became intensely attracted to transwomen, and when I went to college I started intermittently dating transwomen (in between the ciswomen I dated) and occasionally hooking up with men while I was dressed en femme. For a long time I told myself I COULDN'T be transgender myself because I liked women, or I liked sports, or video games (I also often rationalized that I was just ATTRACTED TO transwomen, not trans myself).
I first seriously considered the notion of transitioning when I was 29, almost did it at age 33, and now at 35 I'm closer to taking the leap than ever. I guess my advice would be that it's never "too late" to be who you want to be. Plus, TONS of transwomen transition in their late 30s/early 40s, get great results from HRT, look awesome, and end up very content. :)
Quote from: riven1 on August 06, 2010, 01:40:43 PM
You can start at anytime. 35 is not that old, or unusual.
I always knew "something" was different about me but never could put a finger on it, until i reached about 42. By then the internet was invented, and I was able to figure it out. Now i'm pushing 50.
Like you, i've started to take better care of my appearance, and i now buy occasional pieces of ladies fashion that catch my eye instead of looking and wanting but not buying.
I say go for it and don't look back!
Totally agree! I did the same thing. I bought ladies shorts, sandals and anklets and started strutting my stuff in my late-40s ... and never looked back. Now, I'm on hormone replacement therapy and thrilled! Go for it! :D
Gosh I wish in some respects that I was a transwoman ---- I am 39 and starting the process & it seems like there is a lot of folks my age in this forumn. I am a transman ... and I totally feel like a parent in that forumn.
However, I have been debtating for about 6 months on whether or not to transition -- alot of what is the point. I come to the conclusion the point is that I am unhappy as a woman....I battle depression/suicide ... I cringe every time I am called she/ma'am etc. So, for my own healthy well being - mentally I need to do it. I also struggle with being overweight but when I finally came to terms with my gender identity I have started losing weight. It feels like a heavy burden has been lifted.
That's just my two cents from this guy -- take it for what it's worth
its never too late..40 was the beginning of life
Go for it i started at about 54 and am now 63 and a complete woman and loving life to the max!!!!
Absolutely not too old...I am 52 and when I am dressed I feel more like myself and very confident. Been CD'ing since the age of 11. 1st thought I was 7 or 8. Transition time is coming, just not sure exactly when. I dress more now in female clothes than male. My closet has more also. I dress almost everyday and although I live in a small town, I go out everyday and do some running around. A great feeling. Its like I heard someone say once, you can only do both but just so long. Anyway I could say alot more, but just do it......Christy
Since I started I have really been feeling a lot better about myself too. Just the thought of being Michelle brings a sense of balance to my life. I also was lucky enough to meet some of the members of the Seahorse Society when I went to Sydney, and talking to them I found that the description of how it felt to transform was very similar to the way I felt. I just don't know how or why I'd kept it bottled up inside for such a long time. I think probably I was too timid up until recent years.
I had hoped to dress outside when I was in China, or at least indoors, but it's so hot now that I don't feel like wearing anything at all!! Oh for a cooler climate!
Hi Michelle,
I just dropped you a pm, i ve read all the feed back on this post, is very true what everybody says, doesnt matter how old are you, what matters is how much it can satisfy you and how your life will improve if you know what you want and how you want.
For me i just like cressdressing im on my late 30's and had about more than 30 years in reassuring what i want and how i like to cd,
I live as a normal man and cd totlaly en femme in private, not interested on any transformation but very interested to make tg, tv, ts, cd friends as i value their courage and their self assurrance, they seem to me to be very objective and see life from a very positive angle, the battle against society tabus is hard and very difficult in moments, but they stand still and know how to smile back to life, thats value and thats courage, i love this and it gives me lessons everytime. learning more about yourself, satisfying your self and building up courage for being happy, is what cd gives you, i dont think is late
Well, after a few months, and a few weeks being back from China. I can say that all the self-doubt at the beginning has evaporated, and that I am now even capable of getting on a bus, sitting up the back near to the rowdy teenagers, and going to the local shopping mall en femme, like I did yesterday! It is great just to hang around looking at all the great stuff in the clothes shops. As a man I was still a bit timid to go alone and spend long periods of time checking out dresses.
I got a couple of stares, and once had to adjust my wig in a shop when I thought no-one was looking (but a young shop assistant was!), but moslty I seemed to get smiles from women, and good service in the shops. I'm still on a high from the whole experience the next day!
Also, since the beginning I have found out about even more people who didn't have any early memories of crossdressing, and started off even later in life than me. So my advice to anyone who is feeling the inclination is to get out and do it too! People keep on commenting that I look younger now, so it seems to have given me a new lease on life. Thanks everyone for the encouragement!
Mich, I m proud of you and thanks for sharing with me the whole process, i hope we can heel together at your hometown, or any other place soon.
cheers
Veronica
Not at all! However it should also be noted that I don't consider 35 to be old at all. Both of my parents are in their 50s but certainly do not act like old folks, they still have lots of fun and enjoy life.
I think that you should be true to yourself and explore your feminine side so that you can really get to know that part of you. Hope that helps :)
Hi.
If we are talking about being dressed , that would be once at age 11 -12 in front of about 80 to 100 people & my Mum was there, a church end of year do. 5 of us lads .
i as such never dressed.
13 years ago i told Jos i was a woman & would be liveing as one from then on.
For about 3 years i was able to buy womens clothes & make up for a woman of my age at that time 50 years of age i had no real details as far as clothes are concerned .oh just one Jos said youll buy nice clothes that suit you & for youir age. & thats what we did,
6 years later h r t . 3 years later s r s & b a . & liveing as a woman .
I was invited in to the media for interviews & so on T V & papers,.
im 63 now so is it ever to late only if you think it is other wise be your self .
i have details & things going for this kid that have helped me along the way & of cause a lot of people as well .
I all so had things going against me that have not helped
.
we have to look at our selfs & i dont mean that mirrow because that to me means i dont look like any woman, iv accepted my down falls my looks dont count.
yet i am a woman despite how i look . what i needed was what i was given . that was & is acceptance in a way i could never have seen no matter what i did or said.
First off i accepted my self 53 years ago & because of that iv been able to get where i am now.
People think if we dont look femminine / female / women , we cant be women. well i have proved them wrong many times over.
Its about acceptance its about you as a person . its about getting off youir back side & walking out your door . mind set door as well , & just dress as good as youi can,
& ill use our lingo bloody well go for it & dont look back . thats what iv done & it works...
...noeleena...
I always enjoyed trying on my mom's things when I was little. I started finding the real Beth about 10 years ago. That wouls be when I was around 50 something. So no, 35 is not too old. Have fun with it. enjoy it but never abuse it.
Hugs
beth
When I was a teen in the 60's, Forty was middle-aged, Fifty was old... and I started on my little journey.
No, 35 is not too old to start exploring your inner sister - one can never be too old to find the joys of discovery.
Although there has been a hiatus or two along the way, I've been enjoying wearing women's clothing for longer than you have been breathing. Welcome to your new world. Relax and enjoy it.
Susan
It's never too old to start! I'm 31 and I just started this year! I never really dressed before, so I had to learn everything in a short span of time.
I am in my 50's and just joined this wonderful site. On hrt for 6 weeks and never been happier. Doing all those girl things I have been secretly doing for years, but now just doing it.
Enjoy life before it's all over.
Jo
35....................................................................................I wish I was that young........................... sighs...............................smiles.
Everything is relative.
Love Rebecca xx
It's never too old to start, and age is only a number.
You are never too old to start.... anything.
Recent quote from author Kathy Lette-" You are only young once, but you can be immature at any age!"
glad you got to make this happen.... I just started myself at the age of 44.... :D You're right, it seems the crossdressing makes one look younger too.... :D Isn't it great when other women ask you questions and advice.... :D congrats on getting so far and enjoyably in such a short time!!
So, by acclamation you are never too old to start and you can start when you want to.
Take care and all the best for the future.
Kind regards
Sarah B
:) Michelle,
It's really been great to read your story and see you become more comfortable with
yourself as time has passed and as you have received support and encouragement
from many. And BTW, you look very natural and comfortable in your photo!
As for me, I started at 40 - and now, at 65, I am happier than I have ever been in
my life!
Hugs,
:icon_chick: Sandra
I just started at 63, about 4 months ago, was hiding the stuff aroud the house until about 2 weeks ago, and came out to my wife, who was immediately supportive. She selectected a pair of panties from her drawer that look great on me! I am so happy!
Thanks again for the lovely comments and compliments and support everyone. :-*
I think it's important for people to know that there are people around who don't dress, or even think about dressing much until a bit later in life, and that some end up transitioning! So it's very nice that you are putting your experiences on this thread.
Another nice experience from this week and an update:
I spent a whole four days dressed and out when my old friend from high school came to stay. I hadn't seen him for four years but he was very happy to be seen out in public with me. I even got "caught" crossdressing on one of those days by someone I talk to when I was out walking the dog, (hers jumped the fence and I had to go out to open the gate all dressed and made up!) and she still invited me around to dinner afterwards with her family, in any mode I was comfortable with. I feel very lucky to be living where I am and knowing who I do! The range of social situations I can attend as Michelle has expanded over time, and now I am comfortable with going out anywhere that I used to go as a man (only work left now). It is a great feeling.
I started crossdressing when I was 56! Better late than never.
Gennee
:)
Michelle,
Hi, trust me as a long time dresser you are never too old to become a crosserdresser. I welcome you to a nice community.
Hugs,
Jean
Never to old to crossedress! why deny who you are any longer start to enjoy your life live it! :laugh:
i hope not. i am 39 and i am just getting started !
Quote from: suzannemarie on February 26, 2011, 01:53:55 PM
i hope not. i am 39 and i am just getting started !
Me too!