Yes this comes from Wicked. But think about it for a minute. Not only does society abhor a bully, it tells the bully that his view of the world is absolutely correct.
How many of us have been "victims" of bullies? And how many of us internalized the message that we were inferior? Hopefully we learned (or are still learning) that we aren't inferior. We may have come to believe once that the world is a cruel place where people will get you if you don't watch out. But now we know that most people are really good at heart and the worst they'll do is simply leave us alone. (Yes, some are out to get us but hopefully we see that they're in the minority.)
Now consider the case of the bully. He grew up getting kicked around. He learned that you'd better be tough because there is always somebody out there who would love to take you down. People are cruel and if you're going to survive then you have to be so mean and tough that nobody will dare mess with you.
As he gets older his former victims stand up to him. Some will try to take him down a notch. Oh sure, he thinks, they may be all nicey nice to their little clique but they certainly would never be nice to him. So he keeps up his tough exterior to keep the pain away. And the tougher he acts the more he's proven right.
So while we learn that the world is actually a nice place, the bully still sees the world as hostile and antagonistic. So what? Don't forget that the classic bully was a victim himself. The coping skills he learned ultimately put him in a position where he learns that his worldview is correct.
"Well, he should know how the world really works." But the only way we know the worldf actually works differently than we thought is we saw it work differently. We saw it again and again. All the bully sees is exactly what he knows.
I mourn the wicked, or in this case I have compassion for the bully. Can you imagine what it must be like to be stuck in a virtual hell not really of your own making and see day in and day out that this is simply how the world is?
Hi Casey,
I can see it.
QuoteCan you imagine what it must be like to be stuck in a virtual hell not really of your own making and see day in and day out that this is simply how the world is?
Sadly enough i do not as the bully but the victim..of being transgendered!!!!!!!
Agghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh........................... :icon_dizzy:
Amazing how if we put our collective minds and more open-mindedness to other things we can see and appreciate the fourth or fifth side of two planes of glass........
What in the world did i just type, man as you can see i had a 12 plus hour day of mental torture at work.. I'm delerious! :icon_lalala:
Hugs
Ricki
i dont think many in my past, future or present would call me a bully, but you hit a nerve
i am grateful
Casey, that is very well put. I work with young offenders and most of them are very hurt individuals and so hurt that they put up a tough exterior so nobody sees their vulnerability. To them, every time they have shown vulnerability, they have been attacked. They see other people's vulnerability as a point to attack because that's what they have been taught and model, and they certainly wouldn't show their own.
But showing compassion and empathy (without weakness) can do wonders for these kids. And no doubt for adults too.
Dennis
Tinkerbell, that is ironic. Rather sad too.
Dennis, I don't know if he's a young offender or not but the character that's had me thinking about this for a long time now is John Bender (Judd Nelson) from The Breakfast Club. I keep wishing I was there and overheard him talking to Andy about the cigar burn on his arm. I would have taken him aside, asked to see his arm, and told him how wrong it was for his dad to do that to him. it's nice to know that something like that might actually have helped him.
But there are people who just thrive on being a bully. They didn't get kicked around. They did all the kicking. One that comes to mind is Danion Brinkley. I read his book, Saved By The Light, and nowhere did I see he ever got kicked around but he certainly beat the crap out of almost everyone else, including a kid on crutches.
A near death experience woke him up. Struck by lightning and dead for 28 minutes, he came back a different man. It's a great story of a bully who became a very caring and loving person.
Julie