Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Crossdresser talk => Topic started by: Antonia on August 10, 2010, 02:34:07 AM

Title: Lonliness and isolation
Post by: Antonia on August 10, 2010, 02:34:07 AM
Hi, girls

Just wandering if any one else is experiencing lonliness and isolation which i feel I 'm experiencing much more since becoming aware of whom i am.
Although i suffered years of anxiety and depression I had a mental health support group to enable me to socialize
more. Since becoming aware of whom i am and expressing my gender, life has become more isolating in this small town.
I quit the local mental health support group because of the anti, gay,lesbian and transgender jokes that where left to go unchallenged there. If id challenged them then i probably would have been outed! Untill i have my "decree absolute" which is now weeks away and my "joint housing tenancy" is dissolved and put into my "name only" i didnt want to rock the boat.
Being a single parent also adds to the isolation for me, im even limited in the amount of time i can be online as my 5 year old is very demanding.
I never thought id end up as a single parent and i didnt think that my kids would choose me over there mother, even though she wasnt very nice to them.
Anyway it feels like that tv programme called "Little Britain" where he says "I,m the only gay in the village" except i'm not gay but the only "crossdresser" i know of in the town.

Huggs Antonia xxx




Title: Re: Lonliness and isolation
Post by: spacial on August 10, 2010, 05:43:11 AM
Huggs back to you Antonia.
Title: Re: Lonliness and isolation
Post by: justmeinoz on August 10, 2010, 08:05:01 AM
Hang in there girl, your little one won't care what you wear as long as there are lots of hugs. Most kids love dressing up too, so all part of the fun the more outrageous you can both be.
Title: Re: Lonliness and isolation
Post by: Antonia on August 10, 2010, 05:09:36 PM
Hi, spacial and justmeinoz

thanx for the support, nice to see people care!

huggs Antonia xxx
Title: Re: Lonliness and isolation
Post by: V M on August 10, 2010, 05:25:58 PM
The area I live in isn't particularly trans friendly and so I often feel lonely and isolated

I'm very glad there is a place like Susan's
Title: Re: Lonliness and isolation
Post by: confused on August 10, 2010, 07:11:44 PM
i'm sorry that you feel that way . i guess that's one of the reasons why i havn't taken any real actions to express my identity , only some fable attempts . the result was , i lonely isolated , non-belonging to either my strictly cis community (because even if you have people around but you deal with them with a surrogate you would feel stressed rather than 'pleased' to deal with people) and also isolated from the internet TS community , because they speak of experiences during transition/crossdressing/etc, that i have never had , that i only know about it in theory . so the result is total isolation and total loneliness
so i think you did good so far ^_^ . and you have us here even in the limited time you have , and i think , and i hope that soon you will meet other TS people to share your hopes and dreams
Title: Re: Lonliness and isolation
Post by: Kev on August 10, 2010, 07:23:42 PM
Hey Antonia,
well, I know how it feels to be a crossdresser in a small city. Lonely? Yes. Isolated? Even more.
More depressing even, that I don't know where I'm going with this. Will there be a day when dressing up at home (which is so far not happening to a satisfiing extent) will not be enough? What if I want to go outside like this?
Is it, in a distant future, an option for you to move to a bigger city?
Title: Re: Lonliness and isolation
Post by: Antonia on August 11, 2010, 03:34:52 AM
hi, girls

thanx everyone your support is appreciated. Kev, yes i have considered moving to Bristol, the nearest city to me with a trans community.
The gender identity clinic is situated there.
Problem is I live in "social housing". Many social housing area's are "troubled places" if i move its taking a gamble!
I've been making quite a lot of new friends using "Second Life", as you can chat and interact in real time that has helped ease my loneliness, maybe in time i will meet some one special who accepts me as I am.

huggs Antonia xxx
Title: Re: Lonliness and isolation
Post by: TechnoChick on August 15, 2010, 12:38:56 PM
Quote from: Antonia on August 11, 2010, 03:34:52 AM
hi, girls

thanx everyone your support is appreciated. Kev, yes i have considered moving to Bristol, the nearest city to me with a trans community.
The gender identity clinic is situated there.
Problem is I live in "social housing". Many social housing area's are "troubled places" if i move its taking a gamble!
I've been making quite a lot of new friends using "Second Life", as you can chat and interact in real time that has helped ease my loneliness, maybe in time i will meet some one special who accepts me as I am.

huggs Antonia xxx


Try the gay and lesbian bars.    They are always pretty accepting of just about anybody.   I never have any problems there.   

You don't have to be gay to attend them either.


I've dealt with loneliness and isolation going on six years.   I know what it's like.
Title: Re: Lonliness and isolation
Post by: aisha on August 20, 2010, 03:49:39 AM
sometimes i feel loneliness and isolation
Title: Re: Lonliness and isolation
Post by: Kimberley on August 20, 2010, 07:48:02 AM
As you have seen you are not alone in the isolation and loneliness you feel. I understand your loneliness and isolation, am there now. Here at Susans it goes away as I see that I am not alone in my thoughts and feelings
Title: Re: Lonliness and isolation
Post by: NDelible Gurl on August 20, 2010, 10:47:36 PM
I feel that way myself at times. I really try and reach out at times but I live in small community- high gossip! I find that the internet is also a nice way to chat with and meet people I otherwise would not meet given distance and locale. Hang in there girls!
Title: Re: Lonliness and isolation
Post by: Lacey Lynne on September 02, 2010, 09:43:48 AM
Antonia:

Consider yourself e-hugged! 

Maybe sometime in the future when you can actually do it, it would be a good idea to move to a better place in England.  Rejennerated on this website lives in England with her longtime partner, also postop trans, and they are happy and accepted in their community.  Instant-message her sometime and ask about their town.  Maybe moving THERE would be very good for you.

Just 4 months ago, I moved over 3000 miles to be in the most trans-friendly city in America.  It was a good move, though I'm still moreorless isolated and somewhat lonely anyway.  My own fault.  I don't make an effort to get involved with the LGBT community here, which is vast, and I should.  Janet Lynn is kicking my butt and dragging me out and about.

Anyway, we care!    ;)

Talk to Rejennerated.  She's very nice and very smart.  She'll gladly fill you in on trans-friendly places in Britain.  She and Alison are very informed about these things.  Good luck and hugs!    :D
Title: Re: Lonliness and isolation
Post by: VelindaSalazar on September 05, 2010, 12:30:14 AM
Communities on the Internet can be great places to socialize and escape loneliness, for a time, but you do have to be careful with the communities you associate yourself with.  That is why I like coming to Susan's forums and chat.  3D programs like SecondLife can be a great experience.  Just remember to stay safe.  :)