And, no, I don't mean that song by Marilyn Manson. I mean folks whom I've seen where it was not possible at all for me to guess their sex and as a result, they were beautiful to me.
So far, there have been at least 2 that I can think of off-hand.
I used to see a person at a bus stop in San Francisco in the early '90's. They were slight of build, tall, had short hair, and a somewhat angular jaw. Their baggy clothes hid any curves or suggestion of such. Something about the shape of the face made me think bio-female but I couldn't be certain.
The second was someone I used to see jogging while I was on my way to work in Mountain View a few years ago. This person was bald, somewhat roly-poly, and their chest would bounce as they ran. This could have been loose pectoral muscles or breasts; I couldn't tell. The overall body shape made me think bio-male, but again I couldn't be certain.
Then in between, in the late '90's, I used to see a person at a CalTrain station here in San Mateo. This person always dressed in long flowing black clothes. Sometimes, it was an ankle-length dress, sometimes it would be a simple black shirt/blouse and clearly women's slacks, and always black flats. Their thick dark brown hair was a bit more than shoulder length, and the mustache and goatee were quite full. This suggested bio-male to me, and also suggested that this particular person was extremely brave.
Reflecting on these beautiful people, I wonder why I had been trying to guess their sex. Really, what does it matter? I think it must be partially instinctual to try to classify people, though I don't understand why. I'm still trying to unlearn this reflex.
I'm going to respond to this with some lovely visual examples! Does it matter what's under the clothes? Hell no.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.afterellen.com%2Fsites%2Fwww.afterellen.com%2Ffiles%2Fimages%2Fshane_season4.jpg&hash=898a66c193a5d032be9b439f7e2c062d3e303cfc)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fparadalesbica.com.br%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2008%2F11%2Fm-daniela_sea.jpg&hash=fa50131079b0df0ea62f400a4f337794b777808c)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffiles.myopera.com%2FShallowMuse%2Fblog%2FBillKaulitz17.jpg&hash=179a5d9917ad4e53e62ba5dcf3bb639ed2ed4d38)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amiright.com%2Falbum-covers%2Fimages%2Falbum-David-Bowie-Hunky-Dory.jpg&hash=cfa1277728e0142911960cd68aaa3bd255a813d7)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ft1.gstatic.com%2Fimages%3Fq%3Dtbn%3AzHe9osqwWdvjvM%3Ahttp%3A%2F%2Fi174.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fw110%2FELena_vampira%2FGerard_Way--large-msg-117745951003.jpg%26amp%3Bt%3D1&hash=5b1dd059491787c1524ad7160e398a8a9c024c4f)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ft1.gstatic.com%2Fimages%3Fq%3Dtbn%3AIT_NSb_CMLxiCM%3Ahttp%3A%2F%2Fi231.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fee130%2FGothGCfan%2FEscape%2520the%2520Fate%2FMax%2520Green%2FMax.jpg%26amp%3Bt%3D1&hash=6f080318378887d1a278d63106116bc4e910f3c5)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F3.bp.blogspot.com%2F_TzvBjgcWZEk%2FSOqiy59LcaI%2FAAAAAAAAAEg%2F0QjNjhDgk2I%2Fs1600-h%2F04m.jpg&hash=dafb267a4f56b5b14d0fa9045c7c9eedbf590050)
Does it matter what's under the clothes?
Well yeah, it does, in a number of ways, and for a number of reasons - not all good, holy or pure. But by the same token, if all it takes is clothes, then life is nothing more than a fashion show, and most of us are not exactly supermodels struttin' the catwalk.
Quote from: tekla on August 13, 2010, 08:27:52 AM
Well yeah, it does, in a number of ways, and for a number of reasons - not all good, holy or pure. But by the same token, if all it takes is clothes, then life is nothing more than a fashion show, and most of us are not exactly supermodels struttin' the catwalk.
For me, what's under the clothes doesn't matter. But, that's just me.
For me, it's what's in the heart (or between the ears) that matters.
Quote from: tekla on August 13, 2010, 08:27:52 AM
Does it matter what's under the clothes?
Well yeah, it does, in a number of ways, and for a number of reasons - not all good, holy or pure. But by the same token, if all it takes is clothes, then life is nothing more than a fashion show, and most of us are not exactly supermodels struttin' the catwalk.
Well, since the topic was more about APPEARANCES ... what's under your clothes should only matter to you and who you're being intimate with, not the whole freakin' world. Also, all the people posted are androgynous ... and THAT in itself is a beautiful thing, not what their wearing. Point missed. Sorry.
I don't find them particularly attractive, they are too spiky.
Quote from: insideontheoutside on August 13, 2010, 11:44:12 AM
Well, since the topic was more about APPEARANCES ... what's under your clothes should only matter to you and who you're being intimate with, not the whole freakin' world. Also, all the people posted are androgynous ... and THAT in itself is a beautiful thing, not what their wearing. Point missed. Sorry.
My point was that of androgynous eye candy. Or, what I found to be androgynous eye candy among the people who I've seen.
yea for me it doesnt matter whats under the clothes, if I am attracted to them, then I am attracted to them
<--- Likes the eye candy.
Back to the original though, I think it's human nature to classify. Our brains are just wired that way (either through biology or society, probably the former to a huge degree) and it's very hard to not think that way.
Being in a committed, long-term relationship, the level of attraction is not really important to me. These persons could be of the sweetest eye candy, and they would still have nothing to offer me.
That said, I appreciate what I consider to be beautiful, be it people, artwork, sunrises, sunsets, the list goes ever on.
Hmmm I've also wondered about that instinct thing where we always try to classify someone. First there's just the options male/female and I've noticed that over the years I've added the options transman/transwoman - oh yes I do even distinguish there...
Otherwise, I often have a hard time finding androgynous appearing folk attractive since there always seem to be this commercial (pop) element involved...
Some people find beauty in what they see, for others looks don't matter at all. I for 1 don't find the way someone looks as attractive in itself but If I see someone and have the thought "Wow they really know how to express themselves" I will consider that as attractive and be interested in geting to know them but it is more about how they express themselves then if they are physically "beautiful I experence beauty everywhere especially from people who the world (society) would class as ugly or disabled or a freak because The beauty I see is much deeper then skin deep and is almost totally dependent on personality rather then looks I didn't find any of the pics beautiful because the poses were just that, people trying to look good for a Camera. not that there is anything wrong with that, it just doesn't do anything for me.
I don't think I automatically label someone as 1 gender or another somethimes I see something and think wow but I don't feel the need to label their gender
I know what you mean about visible versus invisible beauty. Some of the most visually impressive people I've met are truly ugly on the inside.
Quote from: Shades O'Grey on August 25, 2010, 04:10:44 PM
I know what you mean about visible versus invisible beauty. Some of the most visually impressive people I've met are truly ugly on the inside.
exactly I found I can see the inner beauty almost as easily as the outer (visible) beauty of people I much prefer the inner to the outer. :)
I know what you mean, people who defy the categories of male and female... truly beautiful. I envy them, they got lucky with their bone structure! :)
I think this need to classify people into male and female (it's generally the first question on any survey or thing you sign up to) comes a lot from our language, actually. We refer to people as 'he' or 'she' and it can make people feel uncomfortable to not know how to refer to someone. Plus, if you get it wrong, you can cause offence. It's not usually like that with a lot of other, more apparent things (like mistaken ethnicity?) but nevertheless, it happens.
I'm not on my own computer, otherwise I would find pictures of less gothy androgynous people to post for you, Pica!
I think someone on Genderfork.com summed this up really well: "I think of myself as neither male nor female, but I still try to figure out if other androgynous people are biologically male or female. I annoy myself with my hypocrisy." (from http://genderfork.com/2010/i-annoy-myself/ (http://genderfork.com/2010/i-annoy-myself/))
Though it doesn't make any difference to me, I do it, too, and I find it flattering when others reveal they were doing the same to me. I think there's something very attractive about mystery, but people always try to figure out as much as they can even when they know it will spoil any surprises.
Quote from: Fenrir on August 25, 2010, 08:36:05 PM
I'm not on my own computer, otherwise I would find pictures of less gothy androgynous people to post for you, Pica!
Just sort of roundy and soft'll do.
A little off-topic, but Pica Pica's reply reminds me to ask, why is it that so many people associate androgyny with being thin? It's just another thing that I think is wrong that I catch myself doing anyway; I didn't notice I even fell into that trap until I read this (yes, another) quote from Genderfork: "I want to be more thin and lean partly because I want to appear more androgynous. But it's f**ked up that I associate thinness with androgyny." (http://genderfork.com/2010/partly-because/ (http://genderfork.com/2010/partly-because/)) My only guess as to an answer is that sex hormones dictate where fat is deposited on the body, so those with more body fat might have more trouble appearing androgynous. Ideas?
Seems a pretty reasonable reason - a thin person does look sexless - but so does a skeleton.
The 'thin = androgynous' idea is what gave me an eating disorder. I wanted to get rid of the feminine fat and, well, be beautiful. To me, seeing the ribs and other bones underneath the skin was beautiful. Now I've changed and just wanna lose some weight to be a bit less fat.
Quote from: ilanthefirst on August 28, 2010, 02:37:50 AM
A little off-topic, but Pica Pica's reply reminds me to ask, why is it that so many people associate androgyny with being thin? It's just another thing that I think is wrong that I catch myself doing anyway; I didn't notice I even fell into that trap until I read this (yes, another) quote from Genderfork: "I want to be more thin and lean partly because I want to appear more androgynous. But it's f**ked up that I associate thinness with androgyny." (http://genderfork.com/2010/partly-because/ (http://genderfork.com/2010/partly-because/)) My only guess as to an answer is that sex hormones dictate where fat is deposited on the body, so those with more body fat might have more trouble appearing androgynous. Ideas?
It's not all that off-topic.
The person I mentioned that I used to see in Mountain View was most certainly not thin, and had quite an androgynous appearance to me. As I mentioned, this person's chest bounced while running, and I know it could have been loose pectorals just as easily as unencumbered breasts.
Quote from: tekla on August 13, 2010, 08:27:52 AM
Does it matter what's under the clothes?
Well yeah, it does, in a number of ways, and for a number of reasons - not all good, holy or pure. But by the same token, if all it takes is clothes, then life is nothing more than a fashion show, and most of us are not exactly supermodels struttin' the catwalk.
I'm not good looking enough to even BE the catwalk.
I don't look good enough for cats to even use me as a litter box.
But I like those people Shades mentioned. Sometimes I see them.
being fat never beautyfull..no offense, thats reality
if u said fat people some were beautyfull, i guest u were half right, why?
let me tell u, lets think together = if the fat beauty women were slim, she will be more beautiful right!!
Quote from: clairezoey on August 31, 2010, 09:10:40 AM
being fat never beautyfull..no offense, thats reality
if u said fat people some were beautyfull, i guest u were half right, why?
let me tell u, lets think together = if the fat beauty women were slim, she will be more beautiful right!!
No, not right. Extremely wrong, in fact.
My wife is what you would no doubt call fat. Beauty is dependent on point of view.
That's reality. Standards of beauty vary greatly from person to person.
Quote from: clairezoey on August 31, 2010, 09:10:40 AM
being fat never beautyfull..no offense, thats reality
if u said fat people some were beautyfull, i guest u were half right, why?
let me tell u, lets think together = if the fat beauty women were slim, she will be more beautiful right!!
Everyone has a different version of what is beautiful. Your definition is different from other people and saying that being fat is never beautiful is only your opinion, not a fact.
My range of beauty is pretty vast. I don't go for just one "type" of person and I find a lot of beauty in personality as well as the physical body.
Quote from: clairezoey on August 31, 2010, 09:10:40 AM
being fat never beautyfull..no offense, thats reality
if u said fat people some were beautyfull, i guest u were half right, why?
let me tell u, lets think together = if the fat beauty women were slim, she will be more beautiful right!!
beauty is in the eye of the beholder
society tells us that that to be beautiful you must be skinny personaly I find the whole idea that slim = beautiful to be rather confusing although I can see a whole industry built around making people feel bad about their looks so they will buy products to make them look good.
but to me it is all B.S.
half the people in the world want to look like supermodels about 8 do. to me most of those are not at all attractive
I used to find androgynous people really attractive, but I think that was me wanting to look like them. For some reason, they looked brave to me. ???
I saw The Expendables a couple weeks ago and there's a scene where Sly Stallone takes off his shirt to get a tattoo finished. My honest-to-god first thought was, "I'd sleep with him." That shocked me in a number of ways. :P I also find those voluptuous Marilyn Monroe type ladies to be very attractive. I like men, but there are some women that really get my attention. I have that same "I'd sleep with her" thought.
I think we are attracted to certain aspects of people, size being a lesser one. There are some people who would never date a fat person and some people who don't like skinny people (I have a friend who isn't the least bit attracted to skinny guys). But I think most people are physically attracted to certain facial features, large breasts, big hands, or something. I think a lot of the time, we don't even know why we're attracted to the people we're attracted to.
fat = diebetis , heart attack
if u really love the fat person, u should ask her/him diet. dont put ur sex desire in the 1st place.
ClaireZoey: Thinness = lack of sexual desire, extra growth of body hair, uncomfortable to hug because of sharp bones.
Not really, not all skinny people are like that. Then again, not all fat people have diabetes and get heart attacks.
My mother is anorexic; I know about that stuff. I know about fatness too.
Claire, sweetie, please be less judgemental. This isn't high school.
Quote from: clairezoey on September 03, 2010, 07:27:07 AM
fat = diebetis , heart attack
if u really love the fat person, u should ask her/him diet. dont put ur sex desire in the 1st place.
No, fat does not equal diabetes and heart attacks. Being fat, depending on how the word "fat" is defined, can increase the risk of these things. But, being fat does not mean that they will happen.
It also depends on what you mean by "fat." Do you mean a little overweight or morbidly obese. There are several reasons one could be "fat," and not all are related to poor diet and lack of exercise. There are those who would call me fat, due to my thick neck at pot-belly. But, I'm 6'1" (185cm) and 190 pounds (87kg). For my height, this weight is not unreasonable.
And what on Earth do you mean by putting "sex desire in the 1st place?" Whoever said that in this thread?
By the way, this thread was started about the beauty of a gender-ambiguous appearance. It is not about the stereotypical qualities of binary beauty.
I once fell in love with a beautiful boy at my first workplace. He had some gay mannerisms but I couldn't decide and frankly I didn't care :) He looked so androgynous. We talked a lot, I didn't know why, because I never really talked to anybody. That was the first time I fell in love. I've never told him. When they fired me I was only concerned about how I'll never see him again.
A few years later we met once on the street and he was still looking and behaving the same and my face became red very quickly as my memories started to surface because at the time I was now dating a girl :) What I felt towards him wasn't in a way sexually charged, it was like, admiration for a divine creature, neither man nor woman. He was so calm and knowing, like I could put all my trust in him and he could solve all my problems in a snap.
But recently, as the E started to kick in, I too rather prefer Sly's looks than his :) Altough I really like to look at the androgynous runway models but it's more like nostalgia, "how I used to love that boy so much..."
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Quote from: ggina on September 06, 2010, 01:00:22 PM[...]it was like, admiration for a divine creature, neither man nor woman. He was so calm and knowing, like I could put all my trust in him and he could solve all my problems in a snap.
I've had that one applied to me.
Feels horrible, man.
The worst part is that my stalkers have disregarded my humanity in favor of their ideal of me, that is, what they think they know of how and who I am, is more important that who and what I actually am.
This way, drama was born.
I really hope I wasn't a stalker in his eyes :) He seemed happy every time we met and we were as humane to each other as possible despite what I'd seen in him. But I guess, everybody's different. I didn't mean to generalize, sorry Zaida if it came out that way.
And, regarding ideals, I was an ideal man for a girl for many years. She didn't really care to see beyond the surface, just like most people... lucky for her, I say :)
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