i thought given the situation of a romance affair i can figure out what a guy thinks; girls though are the mystery...somewhere along the line this ability seem to have mysteriously disappeared, and i find myself baffled by some guys. so at which point in time did that happen to you?
...or is it just me?
I never really understood guys...girls, however, were amazed that I could tell what they meant all of the time. Lately though, guys are just becoming more and more confusing.
Quote from: milktea on August 11, 2010, 12:44:56 PM
i thought given the situation of a romance affair i can figure out what a guy thinks; girls though are the mystery...somewhere along the line this ability seem to have mysteriously disappeared, and i find myself baffled by some guys. so at which point in time did that happen to you?
...or is it just me?
Great observation. Thanks for sharing it. For me, guys were a mystery my whole life. What I came to understand of men came through observation. I always new I wasn't like that. I wouldn't bring myself to face that I wasn't a guy, because I was actually a "girl" (at least gender-wise), until
after I transitioned. Women, on the other hand made perfect sense, most of the time. After transition... after srs... that's when I finally began to understand them. The unique ability of being a "boy in the boy's locker room," so to speak, gave a unique perspective to observe male behavior that few women ever get to see. At the time, imo guys were all "dicks" when I was male. After they start opening doors for you, wining and dining you, chatting you up... you gain a MUCH better understanding of them than what many gg's probably do. I didn't like men because they only treated me like another male... when my body change, that changed as well... it was like, "now I see why women like them!" Still, as a woman, be prepared for heartache. Men can still be less than honorable.
I think we alone are uniquely qualified to have the most comprehensive understanding of both men and women possible. However we arrive there I suppose is largely irrelevant. That understanding will be one of your strengths that you will both appreciate and curse at times. I think it's partly responsible for our ability to cope with GID.
Great post. Thanks again :)
Quote from: Samantha_Peterson on August 11, 2010, 12:57:32 PM
I never really understood guys...girls, however, were amazed that I could tell what they meant all of the time. Lately though, guys are just becoming more and more confusing.
Same here!
Quote from: cher_m on August 11, 2010, 01:10:56 PM
For me, guys were a mystery my whole life. What I came to understand of men came through observation. I always new I wasn't like that.
I think we alone are uniquely qualified to have the most comprehensive understanding of both men and women possible. However we arrive there I suppose is largely irrelevant. That understanding will be one of your strengths that you will both appreciate and curse at times. I think it's partly responsible for our ability to cope with GID.
For me that first statement is totally true only swap guys for girls.
And I wholeheartedly agree with the second statement as well :)
I've never fit in with the girls. I always felt like everyone was playing a game and no one had told me the rules. Still haven't figured the rules out, heh. I don't understand why my friends want to chat with me while I'm taking a pee, it's really embarrassing. I've never been able to get interested in the conversations of the girls around me. Their conversation usually revolves around their kids or the lives of people they know (who I usually don't know) or some guy they're interested in or female issues with their bodies (which makes me really uncomfortable). I'm more into politics, computers, science, how to do a tune up on the car, things of a non-personal nature.
Quote from: jmaxley on August 11, 2010, 01:36:29 PM
I've never fit in with the girls. I always felt like everyone was playing a game and no one had told me the rules. Still haven't figured the rules out, heh. I don't understand why my friends want to chat with me while I'm taking a pee, it's really embarrassing. I've never been able to get interested in the conversations of the girls around me. Their conversation usually revolves around their kids or the lives of people they know (who I usually don't know) or some guy they're interested in or female issues with their bodies (which makes me really uncomfortable). I'm more into politics, computers, science, how to do a tune up on the car, things of a non-personal nature.
I just have to say, EXACTLY!! I'm glad I'm not the only one who's thought those exact things.
Quote from: insideontheoutside on August 11, 2010, 01:40:12 PM
I just have to say, EXACTLY!! I'm glad I'm not the only one who's thought those exact things.
Same for me.
Been following this thread and agreeing with several of the points made. Samantha especially and jmaxley saying: I always felt like everyone was playing a game and no one had told me the rules.
For me, I think part of the problem is that for males, other men want you to be part of the peer group, while women, generally they want you to make them feel good about themselves, perhaps make a play to be a partner.
As a female, I didn't mix with men because I wasn't looking and didn't mix with women as I lacked the confidence. (Strangely, another thing that has happened since I've been here, in Susans, I've come to realise just how brief my time as female was. It has always seemed like another life. Now I'm coming to realise it was a brief period of happiness. Still not sure how I feel about this. But I digress and apologise).
Since I can't do either, I'm basically stuck where Samantha and jmaxley are.
Thought i understood men, living as one for so long, found out i really didnt know much, but i did get a better understanding of them, so wasnt a total loss, so i guess i couldnt understand men from the beginning, but i thought i did, wasnt until i did this that i found out i really didnt know as much as I thought i did.
You're implying I ever understood girls.
trying to understand girls is like trying to play mau(card game). There are rules, and you're penalized for breaking them, but no one is allowed to tell you the rules as that's breaking a rule
Except the card game is easier. the rules don't change day-to-day
Might be just you. I have never connected with girls or understood them very well.
Boys were always a puzzle to me, right from earliest childhood. I didn't understand why they acted the way they did, did the things they did, and could never follow their "logic".
It has remained so for nearly 60 years.
i thought i understood both and i was pretty confident about that , but it turns out that most of the times i 'misunderstand'
I never really understood boys or men. I do think the experiences of my life have given me a better understanding of them than if I had been born correctly, having been privy to their ridiculousness at times and all. I would say I understand them less than ever though, so I think that does fit with what you were saying.
....I spend a lot of time trying to understand both genders....haven't gotten very far yet. both confuse me equally honestly, but then I already know I don't fall in either one really :laugh:
It is more difficult for me to understand women than men.
But there is one thing I don't understand which both do in their own way: competitive behavior when it's not between two individuals, but in groups. I suppose it's because I am bi, and in my case it makes me feel silly to treat a bunch of people like rivals if they could theoretically be my romantic or sexual partners so picking out one and flirting with them would seem more natural to me. Or just enjoying their presence. But that's just me.
I used to think that having a female body meant I'd understand females better than males but it is not so. As I look back and see my social relations with females, they usually ended up with me being rejected for reasons I could not comprehend or just not getting things. I got on better with guys, still do. So I guess I never had the ability, on the upside, as life progresses (and HRT) I'll probably understand guys better.
I remember when my friends were having relationship troubles and I offered to try to help them because surely, I would understand their nonsense. After hearing the explanations all I had was "Well beats me, that's ridiculous!" which is why they don't ask me for advice anymore lol.
I *never* understood guys.
Just like any other man, I never understood women in the first place.
Men however make perfect sense - even when they're not ;).
Quote from: insanitylives on August 11, 2010, 06:47:21 PM
You're implying I ever understood girls.
ya i agree with jmaxley totally...what a dumb thing to talk to the person in the next cubicle about some handbag thingy when taking a piss?? i might say both girls and guys have some wierd habits, girls more so.
but i digress. i'm not saying i read girls minds but the point is way back in the past i can tell when a guy likes a girl and empathise with a guy who's telling me his relational troubles....things like that. somehow that was lost, and now it's like i can't even tell a guy was hitting on me...wtf?????
this reminds me of a conversation I had a couple weeks ago with a friend. We were in his car, and saw a bumper sticker on the SUV in front of us with the stick figures of mom, dad, kids, dog... and other overly cutesy things that make me want to throw up a little.
Friend: Why are those stickers so popular all of a sudden?
me: I know. I don't understand them. I don't know why I'm trying to though, considering I don't understand like 95% of people.
Friend: why would you want to?
Quote from: Teknoir on August 12, 2010, 06:58:57 AM
Just like any other man, I never understood women in the first place.
Men however make perfect sense - even when they're not ;).
that makes no sense to me lol
All I understand about men is that they are highly influenced by testosterone, which means anything could happen. Highly volatile stuff. As for what they do and why they do it... ???
I've never been able to click with/understand women. This is not to say I dislike them, that is not the case at all. It is just very, very rare that I can have a non-baffling discussion with one.
I never realized how badly I interfaced with them until fairly recently when a workshop class I was in was nearly all women. They talked and talked and ...just... I couldn't understand how they could talk THAT MUCH about absolutely nothing. I would zone out within five minutes. And this was prior to my starting T, too.
Quote from: M.Grimm on August 12, 2010, 01:46:39 PM
I've never been able to click with/understand women. This is not to say I dislike them, that is not the case at all. It is just very, very rare that I can have a non-baffling discussion with one.
I never realized how badly I interfaced with them until fairly recently when a workshop class I was in was nearly all women. They talked and talked and ...just... I couldn't understand how they could talk THAT MUCH about absolutely nothing. I would zone out within five minutes. And this was prior to my starting T, too.
you got that right, women talk and men do. Example: when women typically have an issue they prefer to talk it out, when men have an issue, a few punches and beers typically work itself out...
Woman: I love you so much~
Man: I cleaned the driveway and took snow off your car so you could go to work~ (men's version of I love you)
So when your man doesnt say he loves you, look at what he does, hes probably saying it and your not noticing ~
I never really did understand women. But as I grow I am understanding us more and more. And the reverse is true. I sorta understood guys, having lived in that lie for so long. But now it is as if they are hidden from me.
So I just apply the typical stereotype of guys and judge from there. They ether are dead on, slightly off center or are actually a pretty good guy. The last has not been showed to me as of yet. ???
I never really got on with women so well. My best friend is a woman, but aside from her I haven't been able to keep close friendships with women. One gal at a time I can handle, but women in groups? Not so good... I love women, but they do so many things that I just don't get and it bothers me immensely.
I've always been more talkative in a group of women, with men I find myself shutting my mouth in fear of saying something stupid or either unmanly or trying too hard to be manly. IDK if that counts for anything, but it is what it is!
Most women are pretty baffling to me. I've never been part of the "girls club". The way they interact with one another, and the way they think, and the way they express themselves . . . it's all stuff I can't relate to and don't understand.
I've always found it easy to relate to guys though. I can understand them. Same with a lot of people who are somewhere between male and female.
I've also noticed that people seem to pick up on the fact that there's something different about me. It's something that causes almost everyone to perceive me as "really weird", and it causes women to exclude me and men to include me.
Oddly enough, I usually feel more comfortable in groups that are mostly women. When I'm in groups that are mostly guys, I'm really uncomfortable, it makes me super aware of the fact that my body is female, which I don't like. When I'm around women, I can forget about it easier (unless they bring up about female problems or pregnancy, then I just want to get out of there).
Quote from: Izumi on August 12, 2010, 02:09:21 PM
Woman: I love you so much~
Man: I cleaned the driveway and took snow off your car so you could go to work~ (men's version of I love you)
Yikes. So true. But it doesn't quite explain why, when I was doing the "I shoveled the driveway" bit, my ex was complaining that I didn't tell him I loved him...
I don't really understand guys; never have. And i'm uncomfortable around groups of men as well.
As far as women - i'm not for sure i have much insight there either. I'm definitely more comfortable around groups of women, but as a bio-male i'm somewhat excluded from fitting into that group too :-\
Quote from: FairyGirl on August 12, 2010, 12:48:48 PM
that makes no sense to me lol
All I understand about men is that they are highly influenced by testosterone, which means anything could happen. Highly volatile stuff. As for what they do and why they do it... ???
Of course it makes sense! When a man is acting irrationally, I can usually understand why he is acting irrationally :).
Testosterone? Volatile? Nah... it just makes you want to hump everything that moves, and eat everything that doesn't. It's very predictable stuff :laugh:.
hanging out with my 2 best girl friends from HS, made me realize how much I dont understand women. yes I still care about my friends, and being a gay guy, I can identify with them a bit more. but they started talking about lingerie.. and im like um wat?
some of the things they wear, say, do i dont understand, women seem so complex to me.
I find myself occasionally groaning at some female-based conversations I get stuck in, and thinking "I don't have any interest at all in this... but socially it's a faux paux not to humor her." I think some of that stuff is just built in icebreakers for women to connect to each other and establish a network in a given situation, and also a social construct that people participate in because they grow up being a part of it.
Quote from: Teknoir on August 13, 2010, 12:23:10 PM
Testosterone? Volatile? Nah... it just makes you want to hump everything that moves, and eat everything that doesn't. It's very predictable stuff :laugh:.
Predictability and volatility are not mutually exclusive. Men are the mentos+diet coke of the human species.
Quote from: Yakshini on August 12, 2010, 07:50:30 PM
I never really got on with women so well. My best friend is a woman, but aside from her I haven't been able to keep close friendships with women. One gal at a time I can handle, but women in groups? Not so good... I love women, but they do so many things that I just don't get and it bothers me immensely.
Ditto. I am extremely close with my mom, but don't get the rest of em :laugh: Don't even get her half the time, but I'm use to her. :laugh:
Quote from: Nero on August 14, 2010, 02:11:59 AM
Ditto. I am extremely close with my mom, but don't get the rest of em :laugh: Don't even get her half the time, but I'm use to her. :laugh:
Me too. I never did get em. How annoying it was to be thought as one of them.
Quote from: jmaxley on August 11, 2010, 01:36:29 PM
I've never fit in with the girls. I always felt like everyone was playing a game and no one had told me the rules. Still haven't figured the rules out, heh. I don't understand why my friends want to chat with me while I'm taking a pee, it's really embarrassing. I've never been able to get interested in the conversations of the girls around me. Their conversation usually revolves around their kids or the lives of people they know (who I usually don't know) or some guy they're interested in or female issues with their bodies (which makes me really uncomfortable). I'm more into politics, computers, science, how to do a tune up on the car, things of a non-personal nature.
This.
Never understood girls. Likely never will.
Quote from: Autumn on August 14, 2010, 01:33:47 AM
I find myself occasionally groaning at some female-based conversations I get stuck in, and thinking "I don't have any interest at all in this... but socially it's a faux paux not to humor her." I think some of that stuff is just built in icebreakers for women to connect to each other and establish a network in a given situation, and also a social construct that people participate in because they grow up being a part of it.
That's kind of how certain "object" talk functions for guys - cars and sports for one subgroup, computers and gaming for another, politics and foreign policy for another, and when all else fails fall back on beer and food.
The difference, I think, is in the lack of personal investment in the topic - it's not
terribly rude to redirect the conversation if, for instance, you're a guy who doesn't have a clue about cars. Women seem much more inclined to talk about things they're personally invested in to people they just met. And it's much ruder to tell someone "I don't really care to hear about your kid/cat/ailing mother/the crocheted doilies you spent the last week making by hand for this gathering. Let me tell you about my dog/garden/weight loss regimen." than it is to say "I don't really know anything about cars. Hey, you remember Nintendo?"
Quote from: Teknoir on August 12, 2010, 06:58:57 AMMen however make perfect sense - even when they're not ;).
***THUD!***ROFL!
Viva la difference!
Quote from: kyril on August 14, 2010, 04:54:39 AM
That's kind of how certain "object" talk functions for guys - cars and sports for one subgroup, computers and gaming for another, politics and foreign policy for another, and when all else fails fall back on beer and food.
The difference, I think, is in the lack of personal investment in the topic - it's not terribly rude to redirect the conversation if, for instance, you're a guy who doesn't have a clue about cars. Women seem much more inclined to talk about things they're personally invested in to people they just met. And it's much ruder to tell someone "I don't really care to hear about your kid/cat/ailing mother/the crocheted doilies you spent the last week making by hand for this gathering. Let me tell you about my dog/garden/weight loss regimen." than it is to say "I don't really know anything about cars. Hey, you remember Nintendo?"
Very well said!
I never understood guys for the most part, and certainly didn't understand women.
At this point, I have begun to sneer at a lot of male thinking (the way my girlfriends did at mine back in the day lol), and at least I've been having a months-long "ohhhhhhh, that's what the fuss is all about" dawning of insight with women.
Most unexpected twist so far? I find I'm bonding amazingly well with transguys. If I had to nominate for "best of species" I'd have to seriously consider the lot of 'em taken as a whole.
Oh dear... I actually understand both sexes just fine. :embarrassed:
Now if you were to ask me which group I feel more natural synergy and sympathy with that would of course be females. To that is a much more natural way to be, kind of what I might call my default behavior.
But if I am to be honest I have never lost the ability to "perform" full male mode if necessary to get results, or indeed to understand it. (But if I do so it is a case of "performance" much like acting I guess.)
I guess I am just a good chameleon. :laugh:
I've always understood females to a certain extent. There are countless times when a guy will say something to his wife while I'm in the room and all I can do is make that "ooooo that's gonna cost you" face.
Men, on the other hand I can understand simply because I have experienced the social and hormonal influences that they go through. I do not understand the need to be completely competitive over everything, or to always brag or be soo egotistical. Nor do I understand the need to always pick on somebody and belittle them (hazing of sorts) for entertainment.
Not to put down men, I find some of those traits can be quite attractive if used in moderation (and helpful too). But men do have a tendency to do it in ways that make me just go "... why???"
Ugh- I don't understand girls at all. All my life, friendships, relationships even co-workers women are just... incomprehensible. Men on the other hand, I've always understood, maybe a little less romantically, but that just requires decent communication. No amount of communication seems to help with women, though someone when they get it through their heads that I'm not one of them things seem to work out a bit better. This isn't to say I don't have female friends, my male friends just also end up closer and understand me better. Sadly, I must admit I know strangely well how to manipulate girls in romantic relationship and milked that as far as it would go for a time.
I must be progressing, I even got the 'I need to go to the loo call' from a female friend, when neither of us had the 'need' but then we did.
I have to admit the baby talk and the periods talk wanes very quickly. But so does the building the pergola, digging out the garden and do you reckon a V6 or the V8, reckon it it look good with mags, staying in to watch Bathhurst with an esky full of VB.
I think the hormonal drives are so different. T makes you go and do things in a fairly blunt fashion. This needs to be fixed I'll hit it with a hammer. E seems to involve discussion, this needs to be fixed, I call my friends and ask the best way of doing it.
I would be wrong in suggesting this is a purely hormonal or chromosome thing. It's is also very much learned behaviour. Also there is a massive spectrum, there are fantastic females in so called male jobs and fantastic males in so called female jobs.
However I am finding after being on HRT for a little while that going out and doing the boy stuff doesn't interest me. But it never did. It was what I did to show the world I was a guy. Now I'm free of that I'm responding in a more feminine way. Is that due to HRT or due to accepting me?
Fun post
Cindy
Hi.
Men , well a lot do things , because they wont some thing wether its the bed room, sex , or look what iv just done & get your. oh thats nice & complements.
where as most women just get on do what needs to be done or a nice chat , a woman needs time if you like to warm up to the bed room & all the little things that go before that .
men need to show thier prowess & how strong they are or the mines bigger . wether its cars trucks or what ever. sports is the big thing. & having to prove them selfs.
Thats what iv seen i worked with them long enough to know try 46 years .
& do i relate to men not one bit, sorry guys im too much a woman ,& all ways was ,
yet i do understand them, tho im glad to be away from all that.
I all so know those of us who have a mix of both m & f can be with training not need to think about some things & just do this job or fix that or do this . with out haveing to think how to do it . thats a part of our life for me theres a balance between the two .
Having both sides you can see things a lot better & you learn as you go.
...noeleena...
Quote from: CindyJames on August 16, 2010, 04:01:36 AMI think the hormonal drives are so different. T makes you go and do things in a fairly blunt fashion. This needs to be fixed I'll hit it with a hammer. E seems to involve discussion, this needs to be fixed, I call my friends and ask the best way of doing it.
I would be wrong in suggesting this is a purely hormonal or chromosome thing. It's is also very much learned behaviour.
I agree. This reminds me of two lesbian-male gay jokes from the gay scene which play with this:
Q: How many gay guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: It doesn't matter, they'll just turn the room into a dark room.
Q: And how many lesbians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Seven. One will screw in the bulb, and the other six will make a workshop on that topic.
Q: What does a lesbian bring along on her second date?
A: Her moving truck.
Q: What does a gay guy bring along on his second date?
A: What second date?
I've never understood girls. So confusing, so bizarre. Girls are fluid, intangible, so many hidden meanings and things they mean but don't say and say but don't mean. To me, girls are very enigmatic and I would like to understand them better.
Guys are a LOT easier to understand, they are more straight-forward and usually say what they mean and don't use a lot of hidden meanings and such. Guys seem to use less body language, which is a godsend if you, like I do, have problems with the nonverbal stuff. Guys also tend to have more interests in common with mine and wear less perfume/cosmetics, which helps both with socializing and my allergy.
I've got AS, so maybe my perceptions are a bit... off.
For a few years, I worked in industry, in female-only or female-dominated departments. It took me a long time to realize that when women talked about their problems to me, they weren't looking for advice on how to fix the problem. They just wanted to talk.
I always wanted to jump in and fix things--and I often had good, workable ideas that they hadn't tried--but that's not what they wanted from me at all. Frequently, they really wanted things to stay exactly the same. I would get frustrated and think, "Why the heck are you telling me this, then?"
The guys didn't always talk about their stuff, but when they did, they were often looking specifically for advice, options to weigh. They didn't always take the advice, but they usually didn't get irritated at me for offering it when they seemed to be asking for it. :P
I think this fits in.
The more I progress the more I seem to fall into a female stereotype. I'm not sure I'm happy with that; but I am feeling very happy and accepting of it. A few woman on the site know that we can talk for hours and be very positive and enquiring and private and relaxed in conversation. I could never do that when I was in rejection. I doubt that I have had a 'male' to male talk about an issue in my life beyond who will win a cricket, football whatever match. And I didn't care.
I talk for ages with my female relatives, my male relatives have no problem with me but we don't seem to have anything to talk about. Before I 'came' out we had dinner with friends. He was really keen on talking about the torque and power of some BMW he was interested in. My wife and her friend were talking about a new lipstick product or some such thing. I was stuck. I wanted to talk and ask about the cosmetic, because it interested me. I have problems knowing which end of a car goes forwards (a joke, the rear end goes forwards first :laugh:). He was getting quite upset by my lack of interest, and asking him if laser or elecrto where the best options didn't seem appropriate at the time.
This was a number of years ago BTW for people who know me, when my wife was OK, she laughed her self silly over my predicament, and I think may have been doing some subtle baiting :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:.
Cindy
cindyjames i had the opposite problem...i made a *big* impression out of a guy friend once when i started to get real excited talking about remote-controlling your home appliances and how to disassemble the steering wheel with only one screwdriver...
Quote from: milktea on September 01, 2010, 11:31:16 AM
cindyjames i had the opposite problem...i made a *big* impression out of a guy friend once when i started to get real excited talking about remote-controlling your home appliances and how to disassemble the steering wheel with only one screwdriver...
lol.. sadly enough i've had to do that last one once ... I was driving down the road when my blinker wouldn't do anything but indicate "left turn". Thank god it wasn't difficult!
maby i am just unusual here. but i never really found either gender too hard to understand.
like how a gender likes to act and think and do and say is much more obvious to me than what any individual wants and likes.
i dont really think about individuals in just the moment here and now. but like including all their years of history and likes and dislikes and ups and down. and how their hormones act on them. it shapes people. we are the person we are today, because of the person we was yesterday. and it is really hard to know everything about someone.
but like what any gender likes, its just much more obvious since you can generalise. like girls are softer and get bruised easier. and nobody likes to get hurt. so you are more risk averse then. and boys like just go fast. so they like to run around 'more'. etc etc.
I still wonder when the first androgyne will jump into this thread and ask: "Opposite gender? WTF is that?"
Oh, there is one thing I don't understand about guys: their huge interest in cars and how they can talk about that for hours. I'm not interested in cars. I even have a specific phobia there: when I have to drive a car, I almost get panic attacks, such as other people when you put spiders on them etc. (As a passenger, I have no fear.) Somehow I managed to get my driving license, however, but after each teaching hour in a car my t-shirt was soaked wet with sweat, I could almost wring it out. I haven't been driving much since, and not at all in the last 12 or 13 years.
But this frenzy for cars might also be a cultural thing. The Germans are crazy about cars, for the French it's just a vehicle which helps you get from point A to point B. Cars in France are often in a horrible condition, with buckles and dints everywhere and when the paint is scratched off somewhere, they tend to use a random paint they have at home to cover it so the car won't rust, may be brown on (original) white paint etc. For Germans, on the other hand, cars are a status symbol and they are usually very well taken care of. I grew up in a French household in Germany, and my dad and most other male relatives always considered cars to be just a vehicle, and my female relatives were the same.
There are other examples like this which depend on the culture. So if you grow up between two cultures (or subcultures), you find out that many of the so-called gendered interests, mentalities and behaviors are not gendered at all or their gendering depends on the culture. If you're transsexual, it either makes things more complicated to see in which gender box you fit it once you're in your self-discovery phase, or it makes things easier as you don't try to harshly to fit into the new gender box as you can pick things from two boxes depending on the topic even if you don't choose to do what's right for YOU. Or you have both effects at the same time. Hm, I might open up a new thread on that subject.
Quote from: Fencesitter on September 02, 2010, 07:08:32 AM
Oh, there is one thing I don't understand about guys: their huge interest in cars and how they can talk about that for hours. I'm not interested in cars. I even have a specific phobia there: when I have to drive a car, I almost get panic attacks, such as
yes cars are interesting. it's more popular among guys but there is no lack of girl fans either. as fencesitter said it's not gendered. i always had a fascination for computers and machanics...must have to do with watching too much transformers in childhood...but anyways the point is i don't think i need to change or hide these interests.
awww, Fencesitter, you came just right ahead of me on this one :)
Though the title is about "sex", not "gender" so I just wanted to ask "What is the opposite sex?" And that is in fact a very valid question because we have our birth sex and we have our brain sex. And they're not the same :)
As for me, I've never had problems understanding either. Or maybe understanding is not the word. I'm empathic towards most people and if they really like something they talk about then I can usually get the point. I mean, everybody has the right to have something to feel enthusiastic about and the object of this feeling doesn't count as much as the feeling itself. Be it either a car's horsepower or a color of a fingernail :)
g
Over time I became more and more uneasy around other "guys." the topics of conversation and general misogamy turned me off. Over time I came to realize that my male peers and I had more than just a casual disconnect regarding feminism. Given more time I began to really connect with my inner femininity.
Today the vast majority of my friends are other women. I have a few close male friends. I keep a close eye on some.....potential enemies. In the circles I run in there is foul amount of white trash.
I also have noticed a different kind of angst/rivalry between female relatives and myself.
I never understood females...when I was growing up there would be things they did and I would stand there like...what? I got along better with the males in my life. Them I understood. But what's crazy is that because I am FtM I understand women now as I transition better than I did when I was growing up. Or is it that I am more aware of their hardships that they have to endure and do my best not to place them in that place? I'm not sure. But, like with me and my girlfriend, I try my best not to do Atypical male silly crap that would hurt her as much as possible. I understand how it feels and don't want her to feel that way...
I was always confused because I sort of assumed guys would think the same way I do despite all the evidence to the contrary. I think when I accepted I was trans it was like a big light bulb lighting up in my head saying ooooh that's why they don't behave the way I do.
With that said though I think I understand men even less now though then I did before.
I think I actually understand guys slightly more now, but I'm not that far into transition. Before accepting that I was trans, I just always subconsciously assumed men felt like me and were just lying about it. Kinda funny that I was that dense and never figured it out, really. :)