I'm trying to find a LGBT doc/therapist nearby (Yes I'm going to make the first step! I am quite nervous about it too!) and I'm having a difficult time trying to decide whether or not I should pick a woman or a man to be my psych/therapist.
What do you guys have for a doc/therapist? What is more preferred for us Trans guys? Are Men psych/therapist more appropriate? because of the gender? I'm not trying to sound sexist so I do apologize for you women out there.
I can't really answer your question -- but I do often wonder the same thing... ya'know?
Like -- If one were to get a female Psych -- would that fem.psych be harder and more critical on you? Or would the male.psych?
<3 Alun
My therapist is female, and she's wonderful. I really couldn't care less what gender my counselor is, as long as they understand my situation, which she definitely does.
If a therapist is letting their own gender interfere with your counseling, they're probably just not a very good therapist.
I have female therapist. Regarding choosing a therapist, I think gender is a non-issue. However; I think you should choose whatever you feel more comfortable with. If you don't like how they're treating you, whether they are male or female, you can always find another.
Due to the unique system of NHS waiting lists, I now have two therapists/consellors, one male and one female. (one NHS mainly for anxiety, but knows about trans issues and how that stems a lot of the anxiety, and one private (sliding scale ftw) who's mainly for trans issues and how me/my family are coping) They're both awesome. I'd say go with someone who you get on with-and don't be afraid to 'shop around'. If you have multiple options, go to a session with each if possible/affordable before you stick with one. I had to change once due to my old therapist's surgery date being brought forward, and found that I'm much more comfortable with the new one :)
All of my therapists have been female. Three have been lesbians (not that it matters), the other straight.
There was a discussion going on in another forum about therapists, psychologists, and psychiatrists being mostly gay. Rumor or true? IDK.
Jay
Mine's male, through my college but he's very familiar with trans issues. Personally I couldn't care less, BUT there was something really refreshing about being treated as 'one of the guys' by a guy. At least it made me less intimidated by bioguys...ymmv.
Both of my therapists were female, one I saw for depression earlier which led to discovering that I'm trans and then I switched to a trans specialist, she is nationally known and has been on tv shows and documentaries, I'm just lucky she has an office close to where I live. I personally have no preference as to which gender my therapists were. I had a male psychiatrist I ha to go to for medication and the only reason I didn't like him was because he was weird. The only thing I've noticed that is gender based about my therapist was that she was very keen on telling me that just because I'm male doesn't mean I have to be an ass. She also would take my girlfriends side on any issue for the most part.
My therapist is female and does nothing but trans therapy. She's absolutely wonderful and does a lot for the men and women she sees. I live away from her now since i moved out of state but she still allows me to call in my therapy sessions so I can continue with her. We also used to have meetings once a week and she'd take us out to somewhere to eat afterwards and also sets up outtings (To get to know other FtM's)...for instance the guys went on a camping trip not too long ago.
Bones, your therapist sounds awesome! I'm starting to look for a therapist in my area, for some reason I always pictured having myself having a woman therapist, but after reading Trickster's comment, I like the idea of being able to talk with a bio male. I wouldn't mind either though, hopefully I can find someone soon. :)
my therapist is female, experienced in lgbt issues, and is also part of the lgbt community. i have been able to speak to her very easily and was very helpful on other things than just my gender issues. she is basically the only decent therapist with the experience in the utah area.
-Nero-
I had a MTF counsellor for a while. To be honest, I actually prefer my current counsellor despite her lack of knowledge on trans stuff.
Both my therapists were female and as others have mentioned it doesn't really matter as long as they understand the issues or are at least willing to learn and research. Additionally you need to be comfortable with them as you will be spending a lot of time discussing very personal issues. It's important to be able to communicate; no communication no therapy. Also a therapist with experience dealing with ts issues is a bonus, both of mine were and one was published, her specialty was in fact gender identity issues which was a plus for me.
Shop around, don't just look for one that writes letters, look for one that understands our issues and can make the correct diagnosis.
Steph
Gender wasn't really something I took into account when looking for a therapist. Location and price were my biggest issues. So I pretty much just looked up the closest one, got lucky and found some funding, met her, and got lucky again because she turned out to be great.
My therapist was male, FTM.
My therapist was female, and specialized in such things [sex therapy and trans issues ect.]
I cannot say I connected all that well with her, but I cannot say I've connected with any therapist well. I'm not so much a talk about things kind of person. I think if I ever did go back into therapy [which isn't likely in the short term, but is very likely in the long term] I would try to go to a ftm therapist. Mostly because the biggest issue that I find myself having nowadays is dysphoria due to lack of proper downstairs equipment. I think I'd find it least awkward to talk to a fellow ftm rather than a cis gendered individual. That being said on that particular issue I think I'd generally find a female therapist less uncomfortable than a male therapist. It would probably end up being counter productive talking to a penis clad individual about my insecurities around not having one. I'd end up just resenting him by the end of most sessions I'd imagine, but thats my own thing that I should really probably see someone about.........
I have a guy. I needed a guy to be able to talk to about being a guy and guy things. Even though he's not transgendered it helped me to talk to another guy. I believe that a guy can sympathize more with a transman since he could understand the frustration better than a woman. I'm sure a guy just needs to think about having breasts and no testicles or penis and understand how upsetting that would be. Just like I think women can sympathize more with a transwoman, whereas we just want what they have/had.
I have longstanding trust issues with women, so I chose a male therapist. I was hoping he was gay, too (because I am), and he was. (I had good reason to expect that he was gay because I had read an online description of some of his areas of expertise, and I saw that he covered all sorts of queer issues and practiced in the gay part of town.)
Even without my trust issues, I probably would have preferred a gay man. He gets both my gender and my sexuality on a fundamental level. It's awesome.
I have a female therapist. I didn't really have an option as I live in outback Australia. There are only 4 therapists close enough not to make a day trip and all are female. None have ever done therapy with a trans person. I went to all of them to see who seemed to be someone who'd was willing to research and learn from their clients. The one I chose is great and we've come along way. I think in the begining I'd have prefered a male though. My male psychatrist who I only see now and then seems to understand me easier.
Quote from: LeeIam on August 18, 2010, 05:49:15 AM
I have a female therapist. I didn't really have an option as I live in outback Australia. There are only 4 therapists close enough not to make a day trip and all are female.
Wow, this would have been a nightmare for me. I'm glad you found someone, even if the situation is not optimal.
To answer your questions:
What do you guys have for a doc/therapist?
I have a female therapist (actually, most all of my therapists have been female, and I prefer it that way... the ones I have really clicked with are in the GLBT community as well.)
Are Men psych/therapist more appropriate? because of the gender?
I'm not sure if it's completely relevant. As long as you are comfortable with the therapst/psychologist, that's what matters. From my experience, I had a psychiatrist for awhile.. he was male.. and we didn't get along very well. Though, I think that more has to do with his personality than his gender.
I'm not trying to sound sexist so I do apologize for you women out there.
I'm sure they understand, and won't be offended =]
I agree that I don't think it really matters the gender of the therapist but theirs/yours mindset is. There are some male therapist as well as people that are awesome and then there are some that are just not so much...also the same when you flip the coin. It all has to do with a matter of what you're more comfortable with too. If you're not comfortable with a man, then it won't really matter how amazing a therapist he is, you will never get the treatment that you need because you will be holding back a bit due to the discomfort. I generally get along better with women in relationship/emotional type things and men for social settings. ie. When with a woman I can open up more and speak how I 'feel' but with a man I can't so much. When with men it's easier for me to be able to just relax and be a goofball and hang out. Just shoot the Sh*t so to speak. So, it has a lot to do with your own limitations.
My doc is a female. I have been to many therapists over the years and both times that I went to a male therapist I just felt like I didn't connect with him. I don't necessarily know if it was because of his gender but I have always had a better connection with female therapists. I wasn't sure what to do when I was looking for a gender therapist, but I didn't have much of an option since they are all female in my area. My therapist actually mostly works with MTF patients and I am one of her few FTM patients, but we had a real connection from the very beginning.
I only went to therapy because it was necessary to get testosterone, and it really p*ssed me off being obliged to disclose myself with sometimes very private or even intimate topics. We had only two gender therapists in my region, and one of them was known not to get along with FTMs. So I picked the other, and it happened to be a male who was a nice guy, but with old school convictions (he requested 1 year RLT everywhere before getting hormones - I hated lying to him all the time as I had a horrible passing due to my physical shape no matter what I tried, and requesting everyone, even at work, to call me by my male name as long as I looked female seemed totally silly to me). Otherwise, this guy was okay.
Him being male was fine with me, a female gender therapist might make me worry whether she gets along with me talking all the time that I want to get rid of the female body parts I have. Because if I were a female gender therapist and had to deal with FTM clients I would probably get horrible nightmares with my female parts being cut away etc.
I have a male psychiatrist, male GP and a male therapist. I've always felt most comfortable with male practitioners. I feel like female doctors try to project their own experiences onto me and gender me as female. It's funny, my mum always insisted I only go to female doctors as a kid (because of course male doctors cannot be trusted!) and the one time I got the male doc by accident, I liked him heaps and never went back.
I also had a bad experience with the female gp when my main doc wasn't there. I had mono, and she felt the glands in my neck and then just went right ahead and stuck her hand down my pants to check some glands that were supposedly there. Then she questioned me really intensley about the cuts on my arms (this is when I was a teen) and made me feel like crap.
I feel very very lucky with my therapist because he is a fellow ftm and is super awesome and has helped me heaps with my non-trans related problems, as well as trans stuff.
My pdoc I really like especially because he's obsessed with Tin Tin and has Tin Tin stuff all over his office, including a ceramic bust of Tin Tin. And I really like my GP because he was a male doctor with a bright pink iMac! I consider them all great male role models for me.
As I'm transitioning on the NHS (in the UK) I don't get any choice, I just have to accept the ones they send me to. My local one is male, and the one I'll be seeing at Charing Cross is also male. My GP is female.
F but who cares. I did not choose based on gender but on availability and cost.
Well, my counselor is inter-sexed my psychologist is a male (very gay), my doctor is this awesome impressive giant black guy with the whitest teeth (my daughter just loves him), and my endo is a friendly grandpa of a dude.
I have a straight male therapist who is a personality theorist; he's very spiritual. I am his second trans client. He is currently publishing a series of 3 books and the basis of gender is covered in it. My psychiatrist is also male and he knows very little on transgender issues.
Been to two therapists, both female (one trans-specialist and one not.) The other trans specialist is female too. Every therapist I've found in my area that was even remotely an option was female.
Don't think it matters, not unless you're uncomfortable with a gender. Then don't go with people you're uncomfortable with.
My gender therapist is a female and I wouldn't change it for the world. In my experience, convincing men that such a thing as an FtM exists is super difficult. Personally I am absolutely positive on where I stand with my gender and what I want to do about it. I am not in the mood for a skeptical male doctor to pester me with his doubts about my maleness. Female therapists are easier for me to talk to and (besides being the only thing available) would be my choice regardless.
Quote from: JesseA on August 24, 2010, 02:11:14 PM
My gender therapist is a female and I wouldn't change it for the world. In my experience, convincing men that such a thing as an FtM exists is super difficult.
This is interesting. I haven't seen this particular pattern. Except maybe with my friends' mothers...and they usually come around eventually! (Come to think of it, the only friend of mine who questioned my need to transition is a woman. But that's only one person.)
Quote from: Arch on August 24, 2010, 07:20:59 PM
This is interesting. I haven't seen this particular pattern. Except maybe with my friends' mothers...and they usually come around eventually! (Come to think of it, the only friend of mine who questioned my need to transition is a woman. But that's only one person.)
At my (mostly FTM) monthly trans meeting, I was told by everyone that when you tell men about FTMs it's usually met with a sort of "welcome to the club" attitude and women usually have problems with FTMs. This seems to be true for me too.
We doubtless all average out in the end. To what, I have no idea!
Hah, doubtless. When it comes to everything it seems.
Quote from: JesseA on August 24, 2010, 08:48:37 PM
Hah, doubtless. When it comes to everything it seems.
This is the most profound statement I've read all day. Maybe all week.
Or maybe it's so shallow and obvious that it only LOOKS profound. >:-)
hahahaha, Id go for the latter if I were you
Most of my psychiatrists have been male, including my current one, although the best psychiatrist I had was a female. As for regular therapists, two females and one male. Gender really isn't a factor in picking, as long as they can do their job it doesn't matter.
Quote from: Silver on August 24, 2010, 07:38:13 PMAt my (mostly FTM) monthly trans meeting, I was told by everyone that when you tell men about FTMs it's usually met with a sort of "welcome to the club" attitude and women usually have problems with FTMs. This seems to be true for me too.
I agree with this overall, even though it can depend on each person and they're relationship with you. I've heard before that some women think you are "betraying" them by "leaving the team". They fail to realize we were never part of their team anyway.
I do agree that I get the "welcome to the club" attitude from the male members of my family.