As you may have heard, I'm gonna be on television. I'll be interviewed this Sunday the 29th of August along with another trans-person for a segment on transsexuals.
As far as I know, we will be the only representatives of trans-people, but I know they will be talking to a couple doctors, including a mental health professional as well. I do not know who else they'll speak to, and since they have a habit of trying to show "all" sides to a story, I'm half sure that there'll be someone there who'll say something rather stupid at best.
The show I'll be on is part of the news-hour though it's not quite "news". It comes after the news and before the weather.
The whole country gets access to the whole news-hour, including this show, so being on this show gives you access to almost the entire nation. (There's always some people who don't watch the news anyway.)
'Course, the nation's only a little over three hundred thousand people, but still.
So that's the back story to my question.
I feel a bit like I'm speaking to all of Iceland "on the behalf" of not only trans-folk in Iceland, but transsexuals as people, which is something I'm really not sure I'm able to do. It's not something I feel like I'm "equipped" to handle.
So... well...
Give me a hand? Please?
If there was just One thing, the one most important thing, that you could tell a whole nation, about transsexuals, about us, about what it means to be in our position, what would that one thing be?
There's a lot of us here, on this forum, and if even just a dozen of you guys answer, it'll be a tremendous help.
If I could say something and that people would be believe and take to heart, it would be this ...
QuoteWe are people with the same hopes and dreams as anyone. We just know in our heart of hearts we are not the gender to which we were born into. We mean no harm to anyone. We just ask for the same respect that they were expect.
'I don't want to be like this! But I don't have any other choice!... I'm not like you but I wish I was, Please try to remember that when you laugh at me for begin a man in drag.'
Sincerely that's what I'd want people to know.
Thanks guys, I really do appreciate every little comment that comes, even if it's the same as has been said as long as you word it your way.
I don't want to go on there and do a "foot-in-mouth" thing where I say something that which, while pretty accurate to me, could cause people to feel misrepresented in any way.
And I'm really good at foot-in-mouth, 'specially in person, where I can't read what I've said and edit it for clarity!
Quote from: Miniar on August 27, 2010, 06:59:49 PM
Thanks guys, I really do appreciate every little comment that comes, even if it's the same as has been said as long as you word it your way.
I don't want to go on there and do a "foot-in-mouth" thing where I say something that which, while pretty accurate to me, could cause people to feel misrepresented in any way.
And I'm really good at foot-in-mouth, 'specially in person, where I can't read what I've said and edit it for clarity!
I think one thing to remember during this television thing and life as a transperson in general, is no matter what you say there will be someone out there it doesn't hold true for. Hell, if I say I hated wearing dresses as a child, there's a guy out there who liked it. Our condition manifests in different ways along with our unique circumstances. All we really all share is having the wrong body for our gender identification. So don't worry about saying the perfect things for everybody. Add some things suggested by others if they fit, but focus on how it is for you, Miniar, and you can't go wrong. Because however it is and was for you, is a true representation of transsexuality. Course, you may want to add a disclaimer "this is my experience", or not.
I would share that we are real people but we were born with a major birth-defect (some wrong body parts). The majority of us are not the people that you see on the web. We don't want special treatment. We just want to live our lives in peace as the gender we are.
Quote from: Nero on August 27, 2010, 07:23:31 PM
Our condition manifests in different ways along with our unique circumstances. All we really all share is having the wrong body for our gender identification. So don't worry about saying the perfect things for everybody. Add some things suggested by others if they fit, but focus on how it is for you, Miniar, and you can't go wrong. Because however it is and was for you, is a true representation of transsexuality. Course, you may want to add a disclaimer "this is my experience", or not.
I will second this advice.
I think for me the one thing is that we are just part of the diversity of life. We are normal human beings just like anyone else, except we have the bodies of one gender and the mind and soul of the other.
Good luck, Miniar. Reading your posts, I would say that you are an intelligent, thoughtful, articulate person. You should do fine.
- Kate
We are normal.
We Are Normal (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ynafoaTYfXE#)
Transsexualism is not a lifestyle choice it's a proven medical condition this is fact, disputing fact is futile. Much like disagreeing with someone else's opinion, that person is entitled to hold an opinion of their own. You can share your own opinion but you can never take someone else's opinion away from them, it's a two way street.
You have nothing to fear from us.. Like Living Colour sang once, "everything that I want/isn't everything that you've got."
that fear of speaking for an entire demographic - that's understandable. i don't think there is any one thing you can say about transfolk as a whole, and i actually think that's really amazing. transfolk are just as interesting, unique, different and REAL as all people.
I would say.... we are all different.
There ARE no rules that apply for absolutely everyone of us.
"It's not a lifestyle choice". Except for those where it is.
"It's a medical condition". Doesn't mean it's a medical condition in 100% of self identified transexuals.
"We are normal people like everyone else". Except for those of us who are very abnormal and unlike everyone else.
"We have no choice". Except for those few for whom it IS a choice.
However rare it may be, there are exceptions.
If I could say one thing about TS's that everyone would hear, it would be to judge us individually, not collectively, for we are ALL different.
"We want the same thing in life that you do: to be happy."
Or that's what I would say.
If I could share one thing with the world I would tell them...
All trans people are trying to do is make their outsides match what they feel on the inside. It hurts when people refer to us as "perverts" or as being "sick in the head" for just trying to be at peace with ourselves. At the same time that I understand it may be difficult for people who aren't in our position to understand what we are going through, all we want as a community and individuals is equal respect and treatment that they would give us if they didn't know we were trans.
"No one should have to think they have to hide who they are. For us, that's the grim reality that we face every day. It is my hope that we can come together as a whole. We want to live in the same towns, have the same lives. We're not sexual freaks...often. We're people like you, chasing the truth of our existence."
Dude, I would be sooo nervous. Hope it goes well for you.
If I could say one thing: We laugh, we cry, we hurt, we hope, we dream, we stumble, we learn, we're human just like everyone else.
Since you will have medical professions there and a presenter with their own agenda may I suggest you avoid their territories?
Also, since you want to speak on behalf of many people, from those who have fully transisioned to those who simply cross dress part time, you don't want to back yourself into any corners.
Go in with the position that self expression is the essence of liberity and freedom. It is what America stands for, the freedom of the individual.
When challenged about some poor fellow on the pull, not knowing that some chick he fancies is actually a guy in a dress, just say, All's fair in Love and War.
Then ask how many lies this young fellow has told his dates?
I'm strongly suggesting you keep it simple. Otherwise you are going to ground into the floor.
I'd say:
Some of the viewers out there may never have knowingly seen a transsexual before.
Now you have seen a transsexual.
Although I share many characteristics with other transsexuals we are too varied to be exemplified by one person.
What we all share is a need to be who we are and to be treated as the normal people we are.
I too would go along with the "there is no such thing as the standard Transsexual because we are all different, just as, say, all cancer patients are different."
I'd also try to add an appeal about outting people to others who don't know them. Something to the effect that "because we are all so very different it is especially important that people who do know of our past do try not to label us or out us to people who haven't yet got to know us properly," because in so doing all they do is implant in someone's mind a false impression of what they imagine we MIGHT be like. This can then become a social barrier for us because people often do not bother to check on their assumptions about others, and consequently once one of us has the "public" label of Transsexual, there are many people who will never bother to find out that we aren't what they imagine.
Thanks guys. Lots of great advice.
Also helps calm my nerves to know I'm sort of on the "right" track anyway in regards to this.
Quote from: spacial on August 28, 2010, 04:54:36 AMGo in with the position that self expression is the essence of liberity and freedom. It is what America stands for, the freedom of the individual.
This like made me chuckle.
You know, cause,... It's not gonna air in America, nor am I American,.. etc..
I apologise Minar. You are Icelandic, of course. A very different society. I know enough about Iceland to know it is very different from the US and they wouldn't like being confused.
My grand-nieces likes Lazytown and I had a bank account with Icesave. Both of which were very impressive.
I do apologise for being so clumsey.
I realise, suggesting you were an American is a hard thing to forget. But hopefully, in future years, when you look back, you can firgive this terrible faux pas and perhaps find a little forgiveness. :icon_ashamed:
"People, I think, need to understand that most transsexuals are simply uncomfortable living in the bodies we are given. It has absolutely nothing to do with sex or deceit."
And if asked whether you are deceitful when you dress in girls clothes, even though you have male parts:
"It would seem to me the deception is that I would act and dress in a way that misrepresents my personality."
We transition to fix a problem (to escape our own private hells,) not to get attention.
Transsexuals don't transition because it's a turn on. (Well, I guess it's possible but it generally doesn't seem to be the case.)
Hard to pick just one.
Quote from: spacial on August 28, 2010, 11:01:57 AM
I apologise Minar. You are Icelandic, of course. A very different society. I know enough about Iceland to know it is very different from the US and they wouldn't like being confused.
My grand-nieces likes Lazytown and I had a bank account with Icesave. Both of which were very impressive.
I do apologise for being so clumsey.
I realise, suggesting you were an American is a hard thing to forget. But hopefully, in future years, when you look back, you can firgive this terrible faux pas and perhaps find a little forgiveness. :icon_ashamed:
pssh, is fine, just made me crack up a bit.
Quote from: Silver on August 28, 2010, 10:17:01 PM
We transition to fix a problem (to escape our own private hells,) not to get attention.
This times a hundred. I was accused of this by my last therapist. She said my efforts to transition were "attention-seeking behavior". >:(
Quote from: spacial on August 28, 2010, 04:54:36 AM
.... self expression is the essence of liberity and freedom. It is what America stands for, the freedom of the individual.
There's a lot of people here in the Deep South that must've missed that lesson in school. Oh, they'll speak about freedom from one side of their mouth, and from the other side tell me I can't drink wine, that I need to go to church, and that I really don't want to transition.
Quote from: Miniar on August 27, 2010, 03:48:03 PM
As you may have heard, I'm gonna be on television.
On 26 August I got word that my lawyers can go ahead with my claims against the gender clinic and local health service so I am fully expecting to get a lot of media attention in the near future. In UK we have some gutter reporters who will try to dredge up my old male name and stuff but I've got a plan to beat them to it.
Miniar you only have to tell your story as it is and hope that the viewers understand what you are saying.
I'm going to add this, since I love Quotes, from Bicentennial man. For those of you who haven't seen the movie, it's about a robot who dreams about being Human. When asked why he wants to be legally human, he replies: "To be acknowledged for who and what I am; no more, no less. Not for acclaim, not for approval, but the simple truth of that recognition has been the elemental drive of my existence and it must be achieved if I am to live or die with dignity."
So, Min, tell us how it went! :icon_ihearu:
- Kate
Quote from: K8 on August 30, 2010, 07:58:08 AM
So, Min, tell us how it went! :icon_ihearu:
- Kate
I will I will..
I'm thinking of doing a vid to YT where I ramble about it a little.
(And also give some news on my transition, cause I HAVE some.)
Miniar do tell.
Yeah, do it. I'm curious.